Do you think God will punish me for taking so long to accept him and for previous bad choices?

[ViaCrucis]

St. Augustine of Hippo, arguably the most important and definitely the most respected theologian in the Western Church, is also very fascinating because we actually know quite a lot about his life.

Augustine was born in 354 AD in North Africa to a pagan father named Patricius Aurelius and a devout Christian mother named Monica (St. Monica). Augustine in his youth, by his own confession, was one of rebellion and mischief, as he reached his adolescent years he and his group of friends would engage in womanizing.

By the time he was a young man Augustine began to realize the emptiness of his life, and so explored spirituality and philosophy. This led him to toward the Persian religion known as Manichaeanism.

Augustine's mother during a meeting with St. Ambrose the bishop of Milan poured her heart out to the bishop over her fears and worries over her son. Ambrose consoled her by telling her that the prayers of a woman who shed so many tears for her son would be heard by God.

Manichaeanism ultimately didn't bring the comfort and satisfaction Augustine's soul hungered for. While in Italy Augustine heard St. Ambrose preach and he was astounded by the power and weight of the things Ambrose said. Ambrose had not studied formal rhetoric, something Augustine had studied and was taught to respect, but yet Ambrose's preaching cut deep into Augustine. Augustine had studied rhetoric, he was in Milan to take a position as a teacher of rhetoric, and he had high ambitions for himself and his career.

Augustine then recounts how he was relaxing in a garden when he heard what sounded like a voice of a child saying, "Take and read". When Augustine went to where the voice originated, he found a small copy of St. Paul's letter to the Romans.

Finally in 386 Augustine converted to Christianity, and less than a year later received Holy Baptism along with the son he sired outside of marriage. Augustine was 31 years old when he finally became a Christian.

The reason why I'm telling this story is simple: It doesn't matter how long the road to Christ is. It doesn't matter how winding and perilous the road was. Because in the end it's still, and always will be, Jesus Christ who comes to us, and makes us His own. He never fails, His love never fails, His word never fails.

No, God will not punish you for it having taken however long it has been. We have a God who rejoices when the prodigal comes home.

Therefore, rejoice in Christ. You belong to God.

-CryptoLutheran

 

[Dave L]

I'm 35 and i'm only now just starting to find and accept God, i know 35 is still fairly young but it is pushing middle age and i wish i had reached this point about 20 or 25 years earlier, i have wasted so much time by not doing so. I had a very traumatic childhood, i was bullied very badly for many years at school and also abused at home by my parents. When i reached early adulthood i couldn't cope with getting out of bed most days, so going out and getting a job and facing the world seemed impossible. I didn't find a healthy way to deal with the abuse and to heal from it, even now i still haven't really healed from it. It still haunts me and still has an impact on my life.

When i was growing up i didn't really feel God, my parents aren't believers so i wasn't brought up in an environment where i was encouraged to seek God. When i was bullied and abused i didn't feel God in my life at all, i just felt alone and then since i have been an adult i have spent most of it distant from God. i have spent lots of time thinking about God but i always came to the conclusion that i was Agnostic. I also felt angry with God at times, blaming God for the abuse but now i realise that God is not to blame for choices people make.

Over the years i have dealt with the trauma of my past in negative and destructive and self-destructive ways. I have had long periods of unemployment, internet addiction, inappropriate content addiction, problems with binge eating, got into debt, had problems with alcohol and (i'm very very ashamed of this) ended up with a criminal record among other things. I used to think that these things made me feel better but then i realised they didn't at all, they might have given me a quick high but they caused far more misery in the long run. i also thought that i was entitled to behave like that as it was my way of coping with the pain i was going through. In recent years i've started to realise how wrong i was and i have turned away from some of my bad old habits and ways completely, while i have reduced the prominence of others i haven't stopped them completely (i still like a drink sometimes but it's nowhere near as bad as it used to be)

I also have Borderline personality disorder, Avoidant Personality disorder, anxiety. social anxiety and often depression, so these things make life very difficult sometimes.

Anyway, what i'm trying to say is that i realise i have sinned quite a lot over the years. What happened to me as a child and the abuse and bullying wasn't my fault, but how i chose to deal with it in adulthood and choices i made were. And i realise that using it as an excuse to behave badly myself is bad. I do regret and repent for this, i wish i had got into a decent therapy and accepted God a lot earlier than this.

Do you think God will punish me for taking so long to even start accepting and seeking him and for my sins over the years? I feel like i have actually been punishing myself for all this time, as i look back and realise how unhappy i was and how much i've hurt myself by doing this. But i do wonder if i still face punishment from God too.

What about the thief on the Cross? God opened his eyes and gave him faith at the end of his life.

 

[beachykeen14]

Short term gain, long term pain. Front loaded pleasure leads to back loaded pain. It’s like that with lots of subjects. Think exercise, it sucks immediately, it hurts! But in the long term you feel better, breath easier and start enjoying the buzz that healthy living brings.

Ditto relationships. Does the idea of dating loads of exotic women sound exciting? Of course. The long term reality is drama, lots and lots of drama. Solomon enjoyed women, his kingdom also went to hell, it wasn’t a coincidence, he was henpecked by his some 1000 wives and concubines in ways that led to the destruction of his kingdom (1 Kings 11.)

Front loaded pleasure = 1000 sexy wives.

Back loaded pain = 1000 angry pagan wives.

I suspect that a lot of your message is therapy, my friend. Just wanting to write what’s in your heart and maybe receive kinder words from outside than you have been providing yourself inside.

In that case...

there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over 99 righteous people who don’t need to repent.
​

God and His angels celebrate when we turn away from our own evil and stupidity, He celebrates when we turn away from self harm too, He’s good like that.

I don’t believe He wants to punish you for your past, He wants to build you up so that you never make those dumb mistakes or evil choices again. Destroying people makes them useless, building people makes them useful.

OHH YESYESYESSS!! i needed to read this RIGHT at this moment tonight!!!! Praise God-thanks for reminding me of this truth.-beachykeen

 

[Rescued One]

I'm 35 and i'm only now just starting to find and accept God, i know 35 is still fairly young but it is pushing middle age and i wish i had reached this point about 20 or 25 years earlier, i have wasted so much time by not doing so. I had a very traumatic childhood, i was bullied very badly for many years at school and also abused at home by my parents. When i reached early adulthood i couldn't cope with getting out of bed most days, so going out and getting a job and facing the world seemed impossible. I didn't find a healthy way to deal with the abuse and to heal from it, even now i still haven't really healed from it. It still haunts me and still has an impact on my life.

When i was growing up i didn't really feel God, my parents aren't believers so i wasn't brought up in an environment where i was encouraged to seek God. When i was bullied and abused i didn't feel God in my life at all, i just felt alone and then since i have been an adult i have spent most of it distant from God. i have spent lots of time thinking about God but i always came to the conclusion that i was Agnostic. I also felt angry with God at times, blaming God for the abuse but now i realise that God is not to blame for choices people make.

Over the years i have dealt with the trauma of my past in negative and destructive and self-destructive ways. I have had long periods of unemployment, internet addiction, inappropriate content addiction, problems with binge eating, got into debt, had problems with alcohol and (i'm very very ashamed of this) ended up with a criminal record among other things. I used to think that these things made me feel better but then i realised they didn't at all, they might have given me a quick high but they caused far more misery in the long run. i also thought that i was entitled to behave like that as it was my way of coping with the pain i was going through. In recent years i've started to realise how wrong i was and i have turned away from some of my bad old habits and ways completely, while i have reduced the prominence of others i haven't stopped them completely (i still like a drink sometimes but it's nowhere near as bad as it used to be)

I also have Borderline personality disorder, Avoidant Personality disorder, anxiety. social anxiety and often depression, so these things make life very difficult sometimes.

Anyway, what i'm trying to say is that i realise i have sinned quite a lot over the years. What happened to me as a child and the abuse and bullying wasn't my fault, but how i chose to deal with it in adulthood and choices i made were. And i realise that using it as an excuse to behave badly myself is bad. I do regret and repent for this, i wish i had got into a decent therapy and accepted God a lot earlier than this.

Do you think God will punish me for taking so long to even start accepting and seeking him and for my sins over the years? I feel like i have actually been punishing myself for all this time, as i look back and realise how unhappy i was and how much i've hurt myself by doing this. But i do wonder if i still face punishment from God too.

Thank you so much for having come here. Life is unevenly hard but God who gives us faith at a certain time in our lives will help us endure!

 

[tturt]

"Every word of God is tried and purified; He is a shield to those who trust and take refuge in Him." Pro 30:5

Jesus said "...It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God." Matt 4:4

"'This is the covenant that I will make with them after those days, saith the Lord, I will put my laws into their hearts, and in their minds will I write them;

17 And their sins and iniquities will I remember no more." Heb 10:16-17

The Lord's prayer includes repenting. Luk 11

So instead of focusing on our many repented for sins, we can be even more thankful for God's grace and mercy He's provided for us through Jesus Christ.

'Grace and peace be multiplied unto you through the knowledge of God, and of Jesus our Lord," II Pet 1:2 Look at how it's expressed in the Amplified Classic "May grace (God’s favor) and peace (which is perfect well-being, all necessary good, all spiritual prosperity, and freedom from fears and agitating passions and moral conflicts) be multiplied to you in [the full, personal, precise, and correct] knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord."

When those thoughts come about the past, encourage you to focus on Scriptures such as these.

 

[tturt]

Also, a Christian neurosugeon, Dr Avery Jackson, has written "God's Prescription Book." It includes how our bodies benefit when we follow Scripture such as "Keep your thoughts continually fixed on all that is authentic and real, honorable and admirable, beautiful and respectful, pure and holy, merciful and kind. And fasten your thoughts on every glorious work of God, praising him always." (Phillippians 4:8) and "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine...." (Pro 17:22).

 

[timf]

Two people greatly used of the Lord (Moses and David) were both murderers. This among other things testifies to God's infinite mercy.

 

[aiki]

Anyway, what i'm trying to say is that i realise i have sinned quite a lot over the years. What happened to me as a child and the abuse and bullying wasn't my fault, but how i chose to deal with it in adulthood and choices i made were. And i realise that using it as an excuse to behave badly myself is bad. I do regret and repent for this, i wish i had got into a decent therapy and accepted God a lot earlier than this.

Do you think God will punish me for taking so long to even start accepting and seeking him and for my sins over the years? I feel like i have actually been punishing myself for all this time, as i look back and realise how unhappy i was and how much i've hurt myself by doing this. But i do wonder if i still face punishment from God too.

"Decent therapy" would be unlikely to move you toward God. Typically, modern psychotherapy assumes there is no such thing as God or the supernatural and operates from this presupposition in its therapeutic approaches. From the perspective of a theist, a Christian, I think this makes real psychological healing impossible. No one can be healed in the way that really matters apart from their Maker. He's got to be the starting point for getting free of the various psychological "pathologies" that afflict modern, western folk.
It's a good thing, then, in my view, that you didn't get "decent therapy" earlier. You may be far more able, as a result, to see God clearly, unhindered by the naturalistic philosophical underpinnings of modern psychotherapy. Such clarity is vital to being the person God made you to be and to enjoying Him fully.

Will God punish you for not coming to Him sooner? No. What God offers to us in Jesus Christ, the Saviour of sinners, is escape from His punishment. God loves us incredibly and through Jesus has made a way for all sinners to avoid His righteous, holy, just wrath. God would much rather we walked with Him in peace, and joy, and love, than stand under the jeopardy of His holy judgment.

John 3:16-17
16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.

1 John 4:9-10
9 In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him.
10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

Matthew 11:28-30
28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

But, there are natural consequences that arise from our sin: addiction, broken relationships, psychological issues, physical damage, destitution, etc. Sometimes, God lifts these consequences, negating them, but usually He allows our choices to sin to bear the deadly "fruit" He warned us in His word our sin would produce:

Romans 6:23
23 For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Galatians 6:7-8
7 Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.
8 For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.

James 1:14-15
14 But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire.
15 Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.

It isn't just eternal death in hell that is the death our sin produces, but also death of our fellowship with God, of all the good things we enjoy in knowing and walking with Him, of relationships with others, of inner stability, of physical health, and so on. God would save us from the pain and damage our sin always engenders if we would simply walk with Him in the way He made us to do.

But the way to be free of sin's penalty and power is to trust in Christ as your Saviour and Lord, walking humbly with him, living to his glory every day.

Romans 10:9-13
9 because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.
10 For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.
11 For the Scripture says, “Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.”
12 For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, bestowing his riches on all who call on him.
13 For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

 

[Rigatoni]

God doesn't punish you for past sins. Jesus was punished in our stead for all sins past, present and future.

But will God "punish" you for taking so long to accept Him? ...He might.