Do you think God will punish me for taking so long to accept him and for previous bad choices?

Ryan2021

Member
Jan 7, 2021
13
10
38
london
✟10,000.00
Country
United Kingdom
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
I'm 35 and i'm only now just starting to find and accept God, i know 35 is still fairly young but it is pushing middle age and i wish i had reached this point about 20 or 25 years earlier, i have wasted so much time by not doing so. I had a very traumatic childhood, i was bullied very badly for many years at school and also abused at home by my parents. When i reached early adulthood i couldn't cope with getting out of bed most days, so going out and getting a job and facing the world seemed impossible. I didn't find a healthy way to deal with the abuse and to heal from it, even now i still haven't really healed from it. It still haunts me and still has an impact on my life.

When i was growing up i didn't really feel God, my parents aren't believers so i wasn't brought up in an environment where i was encouraged to seek God. When i was bullied and abused i didn't feel God in my life at all, i just felt alone and then since i have been an adult i have spent most of it distant from God. i have spent lots of time thinking about God but i always came to the conclusion that i was Agnostic. I also felt angry with God at times, blaming God for the abuse but now i realise that God is not to blame for choices people make.

Over the years i have dealt with the trauma of my past in negative and destructive and self-destructive ways. I have had long periods of unemployment, internet addiction, inappropriate content addiction, problems with binge eating, got into debt, had problems with alcohol and (i'm very very ashamed of this) ended up with a criminal record among other things. I used to think that these things made me feel better but then i realised they didn't at all, they might have given me a quick high but they caused far more misery in the long run. i also thought that i was entitled to behave like that as it was my way of coping with the pain i was going through. In recent years i've started to realise how wrong i was and i have turned away from some of my bad old habits and ways completely, while i have reduced the prominence of others i haven't stopped them completely (i still like a drink sometimes but it's nowhere near as bad as it used to be)

I also have Borderline personality disorder, Avoidant Personality disorder, anxiety. social anxiety and often depression, so these things make life very difficult sometimes.

Anyway, what i'm trying to say is that i realise i have sinned quite a lot over the years. What happened to me as a child and the abuse and bullying wasn't my fault, but how i chose to deal with it in adulthood and choices i made were. And i realise that using it as an excuse to behave badly myself is bad. I do regret and repent for this, i wish i had got into a decent therapy and accepted God a lot earlier than this.

Do you think God will punish me for taking so long to even start accepting and seeking him and for my sins over the years? I feel like i have actually been punishing myself for all this time, as i look back and realise how unhappy i was and how much i've hurt myself by doing this. But i do wonder if i still face punishment from God too.
 

AK1982

All things ... through HIM who strengthens!
Sep 26, 2019
116
170
41
Netherlands
✟29,012.00
Country
Netherlands
Faith
Protestant
Marital Status
Married
If you repent, God is faithful and just and will forgive your sins and will purify you from ALL (deliberate and otherwise as well) unrighteousness.

Not only He forgives, He also empowers and strengthens your soul so you don’t find yourself a slave to sin and in same place again but move forward and grow in righteousness and Christlikeness each new day walking with Him.

God casts our sins behind His back. He will forgive our wickedness and will remember our sins no-more!!

Forgive yourself. Remember not the former things nor consider the things of old. Put the past behind you. Shed the guilt, you are made new in Christ when you realise and repent and seek God’s forgiveness sincerely.

Don’t believe the lies of Satan who always tries to hinder your vision of God, his lovingness & what you are and can become in Christ!
 
  • Like
Reactions: SANTOSO
Upvote 0

Cormack

“I bet you're a real hulk on the internet...”
Apr 21, 2020
1,469
1,407
London
✟94,797.00
Country
United Kingdom
Faith
Baptist
Marital Status
Single
I used to think that these things made me feel better but then i realised they didn't at all, they might have given me a quick high but they caused far more misery in the long run.

Short term gain, long term pain. Front loaded pleasure leads to back loaded pain. It’s like that with lots of subjects. Think exercise, it sucks immediately, it hurts! :doh: But in the long term you feel better, breath easier and start enjoying the buzz that healthy living brings.

Ditto relationships. Does the idea of dating loads of exotic women sound exciting? Of course. The long term reality is drama, lots and lots of drama. Solomon enjoyed women, his kingdom also went to hell, it wasn’t a coincidence, he was henpecked by his some 1000 wives and concubines in ways that led to the destruction of his kingdom (1 Kings 11.)

Front loaded pleasure = 1000 sexy wives. :eek:

Back loaded pain = 1000 angry pagan wives. :tearsofjoy:

I suspect that a lot of your message is therapy, my friend. Just wanting to write what’s in your heart and maybe receive kinder words from outside than you have been providing yourself inside.

In that case...

there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over 99 righteous people who don’t need to repent.
God and His angels celebrate when we turn away from our own evil and stupidity, He celebrates when we turn away from self harm too, He’s good like that.

I don’t believe He wants to punish you for your past, He wants to build you up so that you never make those dumb mistakes or evil choices again. Destroying people makes them useless, building people makes them useful.
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0

disciple Clint

Well-Known Member
Mar 26, 2018
15,258
5,990
Pacific Northwest
✟200,679.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
I'm 35 and i'm only now just starting to find and accept God, i know 35 is still fairly young but it is pushing middle age and i wish i had reached this point about 20 or 25 years earlier, i have wasted so much time by not doing so. I had a very traumatic childhood, i was bullied very badly for many years at school and also abused at home by my parents. When i reached early adulthood i couldn't cope with getting out of bed most days, so going out and getting a job and facing the world seemed impossible. I didn't find a healthy way to deal with the abuse and to heal from it, even now i still haven't really healed from it. It still haunts me and still has an impact on my life.

When i was growing up i didn't really feel God, my parents aren't believers so i wasn't brought up in an environment where i was encouraged to seek God. When i was bullied and abused i didn't feel God in my life at all, i just felt alone and then since i have been an adult i have spent most of it distant from God. i have spent lots of time thinking about God but i always came to the conclusion that i was Agnostic. I also felt angry with God at times, blaming God for the abuse but now i realise that God is not to blame for choices people make.

Over the years i have dealt with the trauma of my past in negative and destructive and self-destructive ways. I have had long periods of unemployment, internet addiction, inappropriate content addiction, problems with binge eating, got into debt, had problems with alcohol and (i'm very very ashamed of this) ended up with a criminal record among other things. I used to think that these things made me feel better but then i realised they didn't at all, they might have given me a quick high but they caused far more misery in the long run. i also thought that i was entitled to behave like that as it was my way of coping with the pain i was going through. In recent years i've started to realise how wrong i was and i have turned away from some of my bad old habits and ways completely, while i have reduced the prominence of others i haven't stopped them completely (i still like a drink sometimes but it's nowhere near as bad as it used to be)

I also have Borderline personality disorder, Avoidant Personality disorder, anxiety. social anxiety and often depression, so these things make life very difficult sometimes.

Anyway, what i'm trying to say is that i realise i have sinned quite a lot over the years. What happened to me as a child and the abuse and bullying wasn't my fault, but how i chose to deal with it in adulthood and choices i made were. And i realise that using it as an excuse to behave badly myself is bad. I do regret and repent for this, i wish i had got into a decent therapy and accepted God a lot earlier than this.

Do you think God will punish me for taking so long to even start accepting and seeking him and for my sins over the years? I feel like i have actually been punishing myself for all this time, as i look back and realise how unhappy i was and how much i've hurt myself by doing this. But i do wonder if i still face punishment from God too.
Luke 15:
4“What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he loses one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness, and go after the one which is lost until he finds it? 5And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. 6And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and neighbors, saying to them, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost!’ 7I say to you that likewise there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine https://biblehub.com/nkjv/luke/15.htm#footnotesjust persons who need no repentance.
 
Upvote 0

com7fy8

Well-Known Member
May 22, 2013
13,649
6,108
Massachusetts
✟583,430.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
now i realise that God is not to blame for choices people make.
This is good, that you know this. So, be encouraged to make good use of this realization.

Over the years i have dealt with the trauma of my past in negative and destructive and self-destructive ways.
So, we can find out with God, how to deal the right way with painful past things. Then we can help others. So, instead of punishing yourself, get with God and love others, using your experience to help you feel for others and help them :)

I would say this is what God wants; so thank Him for this. He cares for you, then, better than you care about yourself >

"casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7)

Punishing yourself can be a trick to keep you from trusting our Heavenly Father to bring you to real correction and encouragement and maturity, and ability to help others. He does please to forgive us, but so now we can be all-loving with Him and ready to help others receive reconciliation and healing . . . and correction so we love like Jesus in joy and peace.

This certainly is more than can be expected of us, but Jesus has come in order for us to have all which is possible with God.
 
  • Winner
Reactions: 1 person
Upvote 0

HappyHope

Well-Known Member
Jul 22, 2019
643
523
New Mexico
✟54,344.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
I'm 35 and i'm only now just starting to find and accept God, i know 35 is still fairly young but it is pushing middle age and i wish i had reached this point about 20 or 25 years earlier, i have wasted so much time by not doing so. I had a very traumatic childhood, i was bullied very badly for many years at school and also abused at home by my parents. When i reached early adulthood i couldn't cope with getting out of bed most days, so going out and getting a job and facing the world seemed impossible. I didn't find a healthy way to deal with the abuse and to heal from it, even now i still haven't really healed from it. It still haunts me and still has an impact on my life.

When i was growing up i didn't really feel God, my parents aren't believers so i wasn't brought up in an environment where i was encouraged to seek God. When i was bullied and abused i didn't feel God in my life at all, i just felt alone and then since i have been an adult i have spent most of it distant from God. i have spent lots of time thinking about God but i always came to the conclusion that i was Agnostic. I also felt angry with God at times, blaming God for the abuse but now i realise that God is not to blame for choices people make.

Over the years i have dealt with the trauma of my past in negative and destructive and self-destructive ways. I have had long periods of unemployment, internet addiction, inappropriate content addiction, problems with binge eating, got into debt, had problems with alcohol and (i'm very very ashamed of this) ended up with a criminal record among other things. I used to think that these things made me feel better but then i realised they didn't at all, they might have given me a quick high but they caused far more misery in the long run. i also thought that i was entitled to behave like that as it was my way of coping with the pain i was going through. In recent years i've started to realise how wrong i was and i have turned away from some of my bad old habits and ways completely, while i have reduced the prominence of others i haven't stopped them completely (i still like a drink sometimes but it's nowhere near as bad as it used to be)

I also have Borderline personality disorder, Avoidant Personality disorder, anxiety. social anxiety and often depression, so these things make life very difficult sometimes.

Anyway, what i'm trying to say is that i realise i have sinned quite a lot over the years. What happened to me as a child and the abuse and bullying wasn't my fault, but how i chose to deal with it in adulthood and choices i made were. And i realise that using it as an excuse to behave badly myself is bad. I do regret and repent for this, i wish i had got into a decent therapy and accepted God a lot earlier than this.

Do you think God will punish me for taking so long to even start accepting and seeking him and for my sins over the years? I feel like i have actually been punishing myself for all this time, as i look back and realise how unhappy i was and how much i've hurt myself by doing this. But i do wonder if i still face punishment from God too.
Yeah, try not to look back. Sin has consequences for unbelievers and believers but there is now no condemnation in Christ. So, things have been made new. Don’t stress the past anymore. Take care to steer away from old sin patterns as best as you can and forge ahead with Christ. He is the best healer too! God bless!
 
Upvote 0

Rescued One

...yet not I, but the grace of God that is with me
Dec 12, 2002
35,508
6,395
Midwest
✟78,539.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Widowed
Jesus died for those whom the Father gives Him.

God gives us to Christ. We are forgiven.

John 17
9 I pray for them: I pray not for the world, but for them which thou hast given me; for they are thine. 10 And all mine are thine, and thine are mine; and I am glorified in them.

Whenever you feel depressed, read the Bible and pray! That's what I do. Give thanks to God for his mercy.

Lamentations 3 NIV
19 I remember my affliction and my wandering,
the bitterness and the gall.

20 I well remember them,
and my soul is downcast within me.

21 Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:

22 Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.

23 They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

24 I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”

25 The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;

26 it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the Lord.

Do Christians Receive Rewards in Heaven
for their Works on Earth?

http://www.mountainretreatorg.net/bible/do_christians_receive_rewards_in_heaven.shtml
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

Norbert L

Well-Known Member
Supporter
Mar 1, 2009
2,856
1,064
✟560,360.00
Faith
Christian Seeker
Marital Status
Single
Do you think God will punish me for taking so long to even start accepting and seeking him and for my sins over the years? I feel like i have actually been punishing myself for all this time, as i look back and realise how unhappy i was and how much i've hurt myself by doing this. But i do wonder if i still face punishment from God too.
Here's a strategy for Christian living that comes from the Bible, Philippians 3:13 Other than that, I believe feelings of guilt over the past will always pop up from time to time. It's when that mood won't leave, then that is not only a present day problem but is also like punishment all on its' own.
 
Upvote 0

xaris

Active Member
Sep 8, 2020
242
250
75
So. Cal
✟33,811.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
35 years is a drop in the bucket compared to eternity.
Nicodemus was an ol geiser when he came to faith.

John 3:4 KJV
[4] Nicodemus saith unto him, How can a man be born when he is old? can he enter the second time into his mother's womb, and be born?
 
Upvote 0

splish- splash

Team- Early Interventions
Dec 2, 2019
1,751
1,404
..
✟225,561.00
Country
United Kingdom
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
Not at all. Not when you've repented. What people tend to suffer from though, are the consequences of their wrong actions. This is where they get it all wrong and start to think that maybe, The Lord has not forgiven them for their past sins.
 
  • Useful
Reactions: Sabertooth
Upvote 0

kvolm

Active Member
Feb 28, 2018
58
27
62
SoCal
✟17,230.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Glad you are here to get this question settled in your mind. As you see from the abundance of Scriptures shared thus far, you are fully forgiven and a new creation in Christ Jesus. Do not allow the enemy to cause you to doubt that God is faithful to His word and these promises. Also keep in mind that there is no hierarchy of sins, no sin is better of worse than any other and WE ALL sin and fall short of God's glory which is why we all need Jesus to begin with. Have you ever had the chance to work with a Christian therapist to help you integrate your trauma recovery with the truth of Christ?
 
  • Useful
Reactions: Sabertooth
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

sunshineforJesus

is so in love with God
Feb 19, 2014
20,893
12,982
44
Sterling Ct
✟709,314.00
Country
United States
Faith
Pentecostal
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Republican
If you repent, God is faithful and just and will forgive your sins and will purify you from ALL (deliberate and otherwise as well) unrighteousness.

Not only He forgives, He also empowers and strengthens your soul so you don’t find yourself a slave to sin and in same place again but move forward and grow in righteousness and Christlikeness each new day walking with Him.

God casts our sins behind His back. He will forgive our wickedness and will remember our sins no-more!!

Forgive yourself. Remember not the former things nor consider the things of old. Put the past behind you. Shed the guilt, you are made new in Christ when you realise and repent and seek God’s forgiveness sincerely.

Don’t believe the lies of Satan who always tries to hinder your vision of God, his lovingness & what you are and can become in Christ!

Amen.
 
Upvote 0

Sketcher

Born Imperishable
Feb 23, 2004
38,978
9,399
✟378,031.00
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Republican
" If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." - 1 John 1:9

"For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.” - Hebrews 8:12

Don't worry about God still being angry at you for sins you have confessed to him and turned away from. If there are any you haven't turned away from and confessed to him, those might beget his discipline. And in the past you might have put into motion Earthly consequences that have not yet stopped. But when God forgives, he really does forgive.
 
Upvote 0

Sabertooth

Repartee Animal: Quipping the Saints!
Supporter
Jul 25, 2005
10,491
7,061
62
Wisconsin
Visit site
✟952,659.00
Country
United States
Faith
Charismatic
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Others
Has He forgiven you those sins?
Folks, even a new believer should be clear on this point. Let him answer in his own words. (Just presuming that he has already taken that step is not going to help him in the long run.)

@Ryan2021, I ask you again, "Has God forgiven you the sins in your OP?"
 
Upvote 0

Ryan2021

Member
Jan 7, 2021
13
10
38
london
✟10,000.00
Country
United Kingdom
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Folks, even a new believer should be clear on this point. Let him answer in his own words. (Just presuming that he has already taken that step is not going to help him in the long run.)

@Ryan2021, I ask you again, "Has God forgiven you the sins in your OP?"

sorry but i really don't know. i'm struggling with this. sorry maybe i should leave, maybe i don't belong here, i'm out of my depth
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

kvolm

Active Member
Feb 28, 2018
58
27
62
SoCal
✟17,230.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
sorry but i really don't know. i'm struggling with this. sorry maybe i should leave, maybe i don't belong here, i'm out of my depth

Ryan, if you have told God of your remorse for the sins you have committed then you can know that you are forgiven. If you have yet to do so, then you can whenever you are ready. The key is the sincerity of your heart in the moment of your confession. Each of us who are seeking to live our life to please and honor God, will practice the act of confession regularly. Yes, we recognize that we have been forgiven once and for all by Christ's sacrifice, but we also recognize that the act of humbling ourselves and speaking our confession of each day's sins is good for us in recognizing that we are yet still sinners according to God's standard of holiness.
And you do belong here along with every person of any level of spiritual maturity. We are all a continual work in progress so continue to participate and learn here!
 
Upvote 0