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Featured Do you think God will punish me for taking so long to accept him and for previous bad choices?

Discussion in 'Requests for Christian Advice' started by Ryan2021, Jan 8, 2021.

  1. Ryan2021

    Ryan2021 New Member

    6
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    United Kingdom
    Christian
    Single
    I'm 35 and i'm only now just starting to find and accept God, i know 35 is still fairly young but it is pushing middle age and i wish i had reached this point about 20 or 25 years earlier, i have wasted so much time by not doing so. I had a very traumatic childhood, i was bullied very badly for many years at school and also abused at home by my parents. When i reached early adulthood i couldn't cope with getting out of bed most days, so going out and getting a job and facing the world seemed impossible. I didn't find a healthy way to deal with the abuse and to heal from it, even now i still haven't really healed from it. It still haunts me and still has an impact on my life.

    When i was growing up i didn't really feel God, my parents aren't believers so i wasn't brought up in an environment where i was encouraged to seek God. When i was bullied and abused i didn't feel God in my life at all, i just felt alone and then since i have been an adult i have spent most of it distant from God. i have spent lots of time thinking about God but i always came to the conclusion that i was Agnostic. I also felt angry with God at times, blaming God for the abuse but now i realise that God is not to blame for choices people make.

    Over the years i have dealt with the trauma of my past in negative and destructive and self-destructive ways. I have had long periods of unemployment, internet addiction, porn addiction, problems with binge eating, got into debt, had problems with alcohol and (i'm very very ashamed of this) ended up with a criminal record among other things. I used to think that these things made me feel better but then i realised they didn't at all, they might have given me a quick high but they caused far more misery in the long run. i also thought that i was entitled to behave like that as it was my way of coping with the pain i was going through. In recent years i've started to realise how wrong i was and i have turned away from some of my bad old habits and ways completely, while i have reduced the prominence of others i haven't stopped them completely (i still like a drink sometimes but it's nowhere near as bad as it used to be)

    I also have Borderline personality disorder, Avoidant Personality disorder, anxiety. social anxiety and often depression, so these things make life very difficult sometimes.

    Anyway, what i'm trying to say is that i realise i have sinned quite a lot over the years. What happened to me as a child and the abuse and bullying wasn't my fault, but how i chose to deal with it in adulthood and choices i made were. And i realise that using it as an excuse to behave badly myself is bad. I do regret and repent for this, i wish i had got into a decent therapy and accepted God a lot earlier than this.

    Do you think God will punish me for taking so long to even start accepting and seeking him and for my sins over the years? I feel like i have actually been punishing myself for all this time, as i look back and realise how unhappy i was and how much i've hurt myself by doing this. But i do wonder if i still face punishment from God too.
     
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  2. longwait

    longwait Well-Known Member

    +692
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    At least you have decided to turn to the Lord now. So its okay. Just repent of your sins and don't look back. Just move forward in Christ.
     
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  3. True Counterphobia

    True Counterphobia Slave to Christ Supporter

    +420
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    Christ is a gracious master. He is affectionate and kind, not prone to boasting or ego talk. Trust in Him to experience His love.
     
  4. Sabertooth

    Sabertooth Repartee Animal: Quipping the Saints! Supporter

    +4,488
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    Has He forgiven you those sins?
     
  5. AK1982

    AK1982 Member

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    Protestant
    Married
    If you repent, God is faithful and just and will forgive your sins and will purify you from ALL (deliberate and otherwise as well) unrighteousness.

    Not only He forgives, He also empowers and strengthens your soul so you don’t find yourself a slave to sin and in same place again but move forward and grow in righteousness and Christlikeness each new day walking with Him.

    God casts our sins behind His back. He will forgive our wickedness and will remember our sins no-more!!

    Forgive yourself. Remember not the former things nor consider the things of old. Put the past behind you. Shed the guilt, you are made new in Christ when you realise and repent and seek God’s forgiveness sincerely.

    Don’t believe the lies of Satan who always tries to hinder your vision of God, his lovingness & what you are and can become in Christ!
     
  6. Cormack

    Cormack “I bet you're a real hulk on the internet...”

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    Baptist
    In Relationship
    Short term gain, long term pain. Front loaded pleasure leads to back loaded pain. It’s like that with lots of subjects. Think exercise, it sucks immediately, it hurts! :doh: But in the long term you feel better, breath easier and start enjoying the buzz that healthy living brings.

    Ditto relationships. Does the idea of dating loads of exotic women sound exciting? Of course. The long term reality is drama, lots and lots of drama. Solomon enjoyed women, his kingdom also went to hell, it wasn’t a coincidence, he was henpecked by his some 1000 wives and concubines in ways that led to the destruction of his kingdom (1 Kings 11.)

    Front loaded pleasure = 1000 sexy wives. :eek:

    Back loaded pain = 1000 angry pagan wives. :tearsofjoy:

    I suspect that a lot of your message is therapy, my friend. Just wanting to write what’s in your heart and maybe receive kinder words from outside than you have been providing yourself inside.

    In that case...

    there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over 99 righteous people who don’t need to repent.
    God and His angels celebrate when we turn away from our own evil and stupidity, He celebrates when we turn away from self harm too, He’s good like that.

    I don’t believe He wants to punish you for your past, He wants to build you up so that you never make those dumb mistakes or evil choices again. Destroying people makes them useless, building people makes them useful.
     
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2021
  7. disciple Clint

    disciple Clint Well-Known Member

    +2,634
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    Christian
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    Luke 15:
    4“What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he loses one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness, and go after the one which is lost until he finds it? 5And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. 6And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and neighbors, saying to them, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost!’ 7I say to you that likewise there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine just persons who need no repentance.
     
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  8. com7fy8

    com7fy8 Well-Known Member Supporter

    +4,750
    United States
    Christian
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    This is good, that you know this. So, be encouraged to make good use of this realization.

    So, we can find out with God, how to deal the right way with painful past things. Then we can help others. So, instead of punishing yourself, get with God and love others, using your experience to help you feel for others and help them :)

    I would say this is what God wants; so thank Him for this. He cares for you, then, better than you care about yourself >

    "casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7)

    Punishing yourself can be a trick to keep you from trusting our Heavenly Father to bring you to real correction and encouragement and maturity, and ability to help others. He does please to forgive us, but so now we can be all-loving with Him and ready to help others receive reconciliation and healing . . . and correction so we love like Jesus in joy and peace.

    This certainly is more than can be expected of us, but Jesus has come in order for us to have all which is possible with God.
     
  9. HappyHope

    HappyHope Active Member

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    Yeah, try not to look back. Sin has consequences for unbelievers and believers but there is now no condemnation in Christ. So, things have been made new. Don’t stress the past anymore. Take care to steer away from old sin patterns as best as you can and forge ahead with Christ. He is the best healer too! God bless!
     
  10. Old Lady

    Old Lady ...yet not I, but the grace of God that is with me Supporter

    +10,297
    United States
    Protestant
    Widowed
    Jesus died for those whom the Father gives Him.

    God gives us to Christ. We are forgiven.

    John 17
    9 I pray for them: I pray not for the world, but for them which thou hast given me; for they are thine. 10 And all mine are thine, and thine are mine; and I am glorified in them.

    Whenever you feel depressed, read the Bible and pray! That's what I do. Give thanks to God for his mercy.

    Lamentations 3 NIV
    19 I remember my affliction and my wandering,
    the bitterness and the gall.

    20 I well remember them,
    and my soul is downcast within me.

    21 Yet this I call to mind
    and therefore I have hope:

    22 Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
    for his compassions never fail.

    23 They are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.

    24 I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;
    therefore I will wait for him.”

    25 The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,
    to the one who seeks him;

    26 it is good to wait quietly
    for the salvation of the Lord.

    Do Christians Receive Rewards in Heaven
    for their Works on Earth?

    http://www.mountainretreatorg.net/bible/do_christians_receive_rewards_in_heaven.shtml
     
  11. Old Lady

    Old Lady ...yet not I, but the grace of God that is with me Supporter

    +10,297
    United States
    Protestant
    Widowed
    Ephesians 4: 32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
     
  12. Norbert L

    Norbert L Well-Known Member Supporter

    +747
    Christian Seeker
    Single
    Here's a strategy for Christian living that comes from the Bible, Philippians 3:13 Other than that, I believe feelings of guilt over the past will always pop up from time to time. It's when that mood won't leave, then that is not only a present day problem but is also like punishment all on its' own.
     
  13. xaris

    xaris Active Member

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    Christian
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    35 years is a drop in the bucket compared to eternity.
    Nicodemus was an ol geiser when he came to faith.

    John 3:4 KJV
    [4] Nicodemus saith unto him, How can a man be born when he is old? can he enter the second time into his mother's womb, and be born?
     
  14. splish- splash

    splish- splash And with that said, be drenched! Supporter

    +994
    United Kingdom
    Christian
    Private
    Not at all. Not when you've repented. What people tend to suffer from though, are the consequences of their wrong actions. This is where they get it all wrong and start to think that maybe, The Lord has not forgiven them for their past sins.
     
  15. kvolm

    kvolm New Member

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    United States
    Christian
    Married
    Glad you are here to get this question settled in your mind. As you see from the abundance of Scriptures shared thus far, you are fully forgiven and a new creation in Christ Jesus. Do not allow the enemy to cause you to doubt that God is faithful to His word and these promises. Also keep in mind that there is no hierarchy of sins, no sin is better of worse than any other and WE ALL sin and fall short of God's glory which is why we all need Jesus to begin with. Have you ever had the chance to work with a Christian therapist to help you integrate your trauma recovery with the truth of Christ?
     
  16. sunshineforJesus

    sunshineforJesus is so in love with God CF Ambassadors Supporter

    +10,785
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    Single
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    Amen.
     
  17. Sketcher

    Sketcher Born Imperishable

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    " If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." - 1 John 1:9

    "For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.” - Hebrews 8:12

    Don't worry about God still being angry at you for sins you have confessed to him and turned away from. If there are any you haven't turned away from and confessed to him, those might beget his discipline. And in the past you might have put into motion Earthly consequences that have not yet stopped. But when God forgives, he really does forgive.
     
  18. Sabertooth

    Sabertooth Repartee Animal: Quipping the Saints! Supporter

    +4,488
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    Folks, even a new believer should be clear on this point. Let him answer in his own words. (Just presuming that he has already taken that step is not going to help him in the long run.)

    @Ryan2021, I ask you again, "Has God forgiven you the sins in your OP?"
     
  19. Ryan2021

    Ryan2021 New Member

    6
    +6
    United Kingdom
    Christian
    Single
    sorry but i really don't know. i'm struggling with this. sorry maybe i should leave, maybe i don't belong here, i'm out of my depth
     
  20. kvolm

    kvolm New Member

    52
    +25
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    Ryan, if you have told God of your remorse for the sins you have committed then you can know that you are forgiven. If you have yet to do so, then you can whenever you are ready. The key is the sincerity of your heart in the moment of your confession. Each of us who are seeking to live our life to please and honor God, will practice the act of confession regularly. Yes, we recognize that we have been forgiven once and for all by Christ's sacrifice, but we also recognize that the act of humbling ourselves and speaking our confession of each day's sins is good for us in recognizing that we are yet still sinners according to God's standard of holiness.
    And you do belong here along with every person of any level of spiritual maturity. We are all a continual work in progress so continue to participate and learn here!
     
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