Do you really want to be friends?

[scraparcs]

You've had the talk or otherwise realized you're headed for a non-relationship. You use the dreaded words "let's be friends." So, do you really want to be friends? Is it reasonable to be friends? Will friendship be treasured, or will it get in the way of future relationships? Will the temptation to try yet again be too much to maintain the friendship?

So...do you really, truly want to be friends? Or is this the end?

 

[WithLoveFromAlyssa]

Maybe.
Honestly. it depends who they are...

Are me and this person breaking up because they are abusive.. then no. I don't want to be friends.

Are me and this person breaking up because we simply realized we aren't compatible? Sure, ill be friends.

 

[scraparcs]

But what if you become such good friends that you can't really imagine being with someone else, but it's still not meant to be? Or you're such good friends that other men are turned off? Do you really still want to be friends in that case?

 

[WithLoveFromAlyssa]

But what if you become such good friends that you can't really imagine being with someone else, but it's still not meant to be? Or you're such good friends that other men are turned off? Do you really still want to be friends in that case?

What your talking about seems like.. "Friends with feelings"..not simply friends.
If we were simply friends.. why would I feel like I cant imagine myself with anyone else?

Other men shouldn't be turned of if he is merely a friend.. and i treat him like a friend.. Nothing more.

 

[Strider1002]

I think friendship is where a Christian relationship, headed toward marriage, should start.

 

[WithLoveFromAlyssa]

I think friendship is where a Christian relationship, headed toward marriage, should start.

Yes !
I am not a fan of.. randomly asking someone out.
I like to know the person first.
If you randomly ask someone out.. I assume its usually because of their looks.

 

[scraparcs]

What your talking about seems like.. "Friends with feelings"..not simply friends.
If we were simply friends.. why would I feel like I cant imagine myself with anyone else?

Other men shouldn't be turned of if he is merely a friend.. and i treat him like a friend.. Nothing more.

How things should be and how they end up can be two different things.

I think friendship is where a Christian relationship, headed toward marriage, should start.

Right, definitely. What about if the friendship would never head anywhere near marriage?

 

[KitKatMatt]

I have lots of friends that I would never marry.

So yeah, I would have friendships that would never head anywhere near marriage.

 

[Neve]

Depends. I've only ever used than line to "break up" with someone after a date...and I obviously had no intention of "being friends" with him; I just wanted to let him down easy.

 

[Jupiter Drops]

No.

 

[Sketcher]

When I get that line, I need my space from her.

 

[Messy]

You've had the talk or otherwise realized you're headed for a non-relationship. You use the dreaded words "let's be friends." So, do you really want to be friends? Is it reasonable to be friends? Will friendship be treasured, or will it get in the way of future relationships? Will the temptation to try yet again be too much to maintain the friendship?

So...do you really, truly want to be friends? Or is this the end?

I read somewhere that people can only stay friends if they don't feel anything for each other or if they still feel everything and actually want a relationship. I tried to, it's impossible, we can only be virtual 'friends'. With my ex I'm good friends, 'cause we don't have feelings other than like with a brother and sister.

 

[RobertMerton]

haha no im out.

 

[Paulie079]

I've asked girls out before and then continued to be their friend after they said no. In one case it wasn't exactly easy (not her fault on that, though), but it was necessary. And after all, I still saw myself as a brother in Christ to them and wasn't planning to immediately ditch a good friendship just because they wouldn't go on a date with me.

 

[christsoccer]

You've had the talk or otherwise realized you're headed for a non-relationship. You use the dreaded words "let's be friends." So, do you really want to be friends? Is it reasonable to be friends? Will friendship be treasured, or will it get in the way of future relationships? Will the temptation to try yet again be too much to maintain the friendship?

So...do you really, truly want to be friends? Or is this the end?

Women that did not want to date or be in a serious relationship with me, I will keep them as friends unless they are not nice or kind to me, or just do not keep in touch/ignore me

 

[christsoccer]

Yes !
I am not a fan of.. randomly asking someone out.
I like to know the person first.
If you randomly ask someone out.. I assume its usually because of their looks.

Alyssa, that is exactly how I feel. I like to get to know someone as a friend at least a little before I consider pursuing them

 

[christsoccer]

I think friendship is where a Christian relationship, headed toward marriage, should start.

Amen to this

 

[leothelioness]

You've had the talk or otherwise realized you're headed for a non-relationship. You use the dreaded words "let's be friends." So, do you really want to be friends? Is it reasonable to be friends? Will friendship be treasured, or will it get in the way of future relationships? Will the temptation to try yet again be too much to maintain the friendship?

So...do you really, truly want to be friends? Or is this the end?

That's exactly what happened with the last guy I dated. I had absolutely no interest in being his friend.

 

[TwistTim]

I recently had a girl try that on me after intiating a relationship with me, and leading me on for a few months tried the line: "you are a good guy, I want to be your friend."

To which I replied "If you can deal with the fact that your friend is going to be cheering against any other relationship you might form and has feelings for you that he doesn't see disappearing, then we can be friends, otherwise, cut me loose" and she has yet to respond to me, that was a month ago.

Sorry, but I have been the friend too many times. It sucks. Do not led him on, and do not let him lead you on. If the relationship will lead nowhere and you both know it, do the honorable thing, let it end. Else one or the other of you will be stuck emotionally in this relationship and not move forward.

Also consider the fact that you could be cultivating the friendship and the best guy could pass you by because he thinks you two are an item.

 

[Miss Spaulding]

Sorry, but I have been the friend too many times. It sucks. Do not led him on, and do not let him lead you on. If the relationship will lead nowhere and you both know it, do the honorable thing, let it end. Else one or the other of you will be stuck emotionally in this relationship and not move forward.

Also consider the fact that you could be cultivating the friendship and the best guy could pass you by because he thinks you two are an item.

You know, I really have to agree with this. It makes perfect sense. I've been contemplating my view on this and I have to say that I'm of this same opinion.