Do You Own Your Spouse?

[Tetra]

I've noticed a trend, a type of language I'm not entirely comfortable with, mainly because it implies I'm my partners boss, or that I can somehow own my spouse.

"You let your wife do that?"
"Do you think your wife should be allowed to..."
"What if your wife does this..."

Am I my wife's boss or something? Do I own her?

Where does this type of language come from, and do you think it's ethical? What do you think the Bible says on the topic?

 

[2PhiloVoid]

I've noticed a trend, a type of language I'm not entirely comfortable with, mainly because it implies I'm my partners boss, or that I can somehow own my spouse.

"You let your wife do that?"
"Do you think your wife should be allowed to..."
"What if your wife does this..."

I my wife's boss or something? Do I own her?

Where does this type of language come from, and do you think it's ethical?

This type of language usually comes from...the Backwoods of Red Neck Fellers.

What do you think the Bible says on the topic?

It says, husbands ... "you picked up the wrong thing from the store again!"

 

[Tetra]

This type of language usually comes from...the Backwoods of Red Neck Fellers.


It says, husbands ... "you picked up the wrong thing from the store again!"

I seriously hope this type of language isn't mainstream Christendom... but then again, did you see this insane thread:
Rebellious Women

 

[Widlast]

I've noticed a trend, a type of language I'm not entirely comfortable with, mainly because it implies I'm my partners boss, or that I can somehow own my spouse.

"You let your wife do that?"
"Do you think your wife should be allowed to..."
"What if your wife does this..."

I my wife's boss or something? Do I own her?

Where does this type of language come from, and do you think it's ethical? What do you think the Bible says on the topic?

Nope. My wife owns me, just ask her.

This notion of ownership is historical, and still practiced in some cultures (ask any Moslem woman).
The truth of the matter is that spouses are SUPPOSED to be partners, flesh of my flesh, etc.

 

[Tetra]

Nope. My wife owns me, just ask her.

This notion of ownership is historical, and still practiced in some cultures (ask any Moslem woman).
The truth of the matter is that spouses are SUPPOSED to be partners, flesh of my flesh, etc.

When you said this idea is historical, do you think it's historical to Christendom, or just that some have just misinterpreted the Bible?

 

[Tree of Life]

I've noticed a trend, a type of language I'm not entirely comfortable with, mainly because it implies I'm my partners boss, or that I can somehow own my spouse.

"You let your wife do that?"
"Do you think your wife should be allowed to..."
"What if your wife does this..."

I my wife's boss or something? Do I own her?

Where does this type of language come from, and do you think it's ethical? What do you think the Bible says on the topic?

This sort of language comes from Scripture. Husbands and wives own one another - that is to say that they belong to one another and have rights over one another.

1 Corinthians 7:4 - For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.

 

[Hank77]

This type of language usually comes from...the Backwoods of Red Neck Fellers.


It says, husbands ... "you picked up the wrong thing from the store again!"

Well seeing I have a son and two son-in-laws, who come from very different backgrounds, I can tell you that it doesn't have anything to do with being a redneck, growing up with rednecks, or growing up in the city.
It has a lot to do with how you are raised and what is taught in your church.
Ultimately it is mostly a generational thing. I can say that I have seen more of this 'I own my wife' in men who do not share the burden of making a living with their spouse. There is some but very little seen in ranching families for instance.

 

[EmmaCat]

My husband and I are partners with God. No one owns anyone. We are free to live happily and love each other as the people we are.

Why do people go on about controlling others? IMO, this is so dang stupid. If one feels the need to control someone, somebody needs to see a doctor.

That's crazy thinking.

All good things
Emmy

 

[Tetra]

My husband and I are partners with God. No one owns anyone. We are free to live happily and love each other as the people we are.

Why do people go on about controlling others? IMO, this is so dang stupid. If one feels the need to control someone, somebody needs to see a doctor.

That's crazy thinking.

All good things
Emmy

I dunno, take a look at the "rebellious woman" thread... freaking insane.

 

[Widlast]

When you said this idea is historical, do you think it's historical to Christendom, or just that some have just misinterpreted the Bible?

You must understand that throughout most of human history "a man was the master of his domain" and everything under his personal control was his property, whether that was women, children, house, tools, animal, lands, whatever. The Bible is as much a historical document as it is anything else. Judaism and Christendom inherited the behaviors of the cultures they were a part of.
Now if someone tells you that there were cultures in the ancient world that did not consider women as property, I'd like to know which ones they were and what that person has as evidence of this.

It wasn't until relatively recently that women were granted any personal rights at all. They were only granted the right in vote in 1920.
Wife beating is still legal in some countries.

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

I own my wife. I make her make me food. I tell her when to change the channel. I use my whip when I have to. She can't even speak unless I tell her too. Shes my slave!!!!! lol kidding.

"You let your wife do that?"
"Do you think your wife should be allowed to..."
"What if your wife does this..."

Well I think thats normal language no matter who someone is. I don't see ownership there per say. I mean lets say I let my wife go buy a $5,000 purse. The normal reaction would be "You let your wife spend that much!?". Just as if she let me buy a $10,000 tv, the reaction would be "You let your husband do that?!".

Now its different when a christian man says things that are actually controlling. For example we know a baptist couple and at their church they teach the husband has total rule over everything. So this woman we know gets abused by her husband, he has had affairs, hes swore at her. She pretty much is a literal slave and the pastor doesn't care because that is the "mans role" according to them. >.<

With my wife and I we always ask each other things. Like she will ask me about "Is it ok if I spend this much on <insert item>?". Not because she has to ask, but because she wants to see if I think its ok. Just as when I buy things I ask her first too. The only "control" I have is really in matters of spiritual things. Like the church we go to, making sure we do devotions, pray together...etc. I am the head of that.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

I seriously hope this type of language isn't mainstream Christendom... but then again, did you see this insane thread:
Rebellious Women

Yes, I saw that thread a while back. I think the craziest part of it is where it says, "They don't want to submit to their husband." I mean, who would have thought society would ever get to this point?

 

[2PhiloVoid]

Well seeing I have a son and two son-in-laws, who come from very different backgrounds, I can tell you that it doesn't have anything to do with being a redneck, growing up with rednecks, or growing up in the city.
It has a lot to do with how you are raised and what is taught in your church.
Ultimately it is mostly a generational thing. I can say that I have seen more of this 'I own my wife' in men who do not share the burden of making a living with their spouse. There is some but very little seen in ranching families for instance.

Yes, I'm with you on this, Hank. I was just attempting some humor about it all. I realize that men from various walks of life may see their wives as a form of "property."

Good points!

Peace,
2PhiloVoid

 

[Hank77]

The only "control" I have is really in matters of spiritual things. Like the church we go to, making sure we do devotions, pray together...etc. I am the head of that.

Is this God's way of forcing men into spiritual awareness?

 

[Tetra]

I own my wife. I make her make me food. I tell her when to change the channel. I use my whip when I have to. She can't even speak unless I tell her too. Shes my slave!!!!! lol kidding.


Well I think thats normal language no matter who someone is. I don't see ownership there per say. I mean lets say I let my wife go buy a $5,000 purse. The normal reaction would be "You let your wife spend that much!?". Just as if she let me buy a $10,000 tv, the reaction would be "You let your husband do that?!".

Now its different when a christian man says things that are actually controlling. For example we know a baptist couple and at their church they teach the husband has total rule over everything. So this woman we know gets abused by her husband, he has had affairs, hes swore at her. She pretty much is a literal slave and the pastor doesn't care because that is the "mans role" according to them. >.<

With my wife and I we always ask each other things. Like she will ask me about "Is it ok if I spend this much on <insert item>?". Not because she has to ask, but because she wants to see if I think its ok. Just as when I buy things I ask her first too. The only "control" I have is really in matters of spiritual things. Like the church we go to, making sure we do devotions, pray together...etc. I am the head of that.

I know what you mean, but that's not how people are using this language. They're using that language in a controlling fashion. Consider the weird bra thread, just a few threads down, or the rebellious woman thread I linked to above.

 

[rjs330]

No he Bible doesn't teach that men own women. If anything it teaches we own each other equally as referenced in the Scripture above. The whole husband is the head of the wife is totally used out if context by those who claim men can have complete control over their women. Its sick.

But it is not unique to the church as some imply. There are plenty of non believers that treat their women like crap. And they are all walking in sin and even though Im not supposed to judge I wonder if they will be surprised in judgement day to find Jesus saying "depart from me I never knew you."

 

[Paul Yohannan]

I dunno, take a look at the "rebellious woman" thread... freaking insane.

Less insane than some recent threads which have had the effect of glamorizing sexual immorality.

 

[dzheremi]

I don't have the exact quote on hand, but in one of St. John Chrysostom's homilies, he likens Christian marriage to the relation of the hand and the eye: When the hand is hurting, the eye should be crying, and when the eye is crying, the hand should wipe away the tears.

That about does it for me. Can't improve on that.

 

[Tetra]

Less insane than some recent threads which have had the effect of glamorizing sexual immorality.

I dont subscribe to a sin hierarchy where sexual immorality dominates all... sorry. Although your view is typical of most in Christendom I'm sure.

To me, it's a disgusting thread... pointing your finger at something else doesn't change that.

 

[Paul Yohannan]

I dont subscribe to a sin hierarchy where sexual immorality dominates all... sorry. Although your view is typical of most in Christendom I'm sure.

To me, it's a disgusting thread... pointing your finger at something else doesn't change that.

I myself do not adhere to a hamartiology in which any sin is more substantial than any other, except with regards to internal ecclesiastical procedure, but, I cannot simply ignore the damage caused by disordered sexual behavior. We cannot tolerate sexual immorality any more than we tolerate fiscal malfeasance, violent crime or other abuses.