I do not feel bad for the non-elect. I do pray for them.
Our Master has perfect laws and he is a perfect judge. The Elect are no longer accountable to those laws while the non-elect are. And if the perfect judge has seen fit to have mercy on some and not on others than he is right whether I understand it or not.
He is always right. If man's philosophies tell me that Earth is a 100 billion years old and special revelation tells me it is only about 12,000 years old than he is right about that too.
Meditation, pondering, etc are good. Questioning gets a little too close to defiance for me. I am told that I am not even qualified to judge my brothers and sisters in Christ. How am I going to judge my Master? His thinking is "higher" than ours and our hearts are "wicked".
I recommend you read what God told Job when Job thought he would question God's actions/justice.