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Do you also spank on the bare bottom?

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by Beccysmommy, May 2, 2006.

  1. Beccysmommy

    Beccysmommy Newbie

    I'm quite new to these forums and don't necessarily want to get involved in deep serious discussions right away, but I have some issues which I think it is better talking about now, rather than later.
    Please do not turn this thread into a spanking vs anti-spanking debate.:prayer:
    I do beleive in spanking in a normal Christian household, if it is needed as a last resort.
    A few friends of mine were talking about it and what I realised was that we all meant different things when we talked of "a spanking." For example, I have a friend who I learnt swats her kids with a wooden spoon. To me, I would only spank with a bare hand, I don't feel using instruments is necessary.
    If Beccy need a spanking, to me, this means I will generally explain to her why she is getting a spanking, then prop her over my knees and smack her 'bare bottom' a maximum of 3 or 4 times. Thats it.:)
    Do you spank your child's bare bottom? And what does "a spanking" involve in your house?
    I apologise if this goes against the principle of some non-spankers here on the boards, but I will repeat I only spank becuase I love her and want her to do good and I always end a spanking with a hug so she knows the slate has been wiped clean.
    I would love to hear other parents take on this.
  2. coyote

    coyote Regular Member

    Well my daughter is only 14 months so haven't had to deal with this yet. Personally speaking I belive spanking is only for something they know is wrong and have been told several times no. Should only be no more than a few times. I don't agree with bare bottom just me though. As to instruments such as a spoon, piece of kindlin or hand. I would say hand.

    I hope I never have to spank my daughter though. Think that might be up to her mom to do. I like being the pushover.
  3. Beth1231

    Beth1231 Guest

    There was onlyvise against it for lots of reasons.
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 20, 2010
  4. £amb

    £amb Guest

    I spanked no matter what they were wearing. I didn't necessarily pull down their pants to get the job done. My boys got spanked growning up. My oldest, who is 11yrs., rarely gets spanked now because he's at the age where I can talk to him and I can use other consequences to get my message through. My youngest is 8, and he's starting to get more spankings now. When he was young, I never had an issue with his behavior. Now he's really starting to mouth off and he's been getting spanked more.

    It's funny how they are pretty nice for a couple days after they get spanked...:)
  5. Leanna

    Leanna Just me

    I absolutely agree.... we are non-spankers (because we feel there are other better options), but if you feel you need to spank please give your child some respect by allowing them to keep their clothes on. Sigh. I really think that bare bottom spanking is far worse than instrumental spanking..... it is so humiliating. :cry: :cry: :cry:
  6. Leanna

    Leanna Just me

    Ummm I don't find this funny at all. I remember being "well behaved" after my mom spanked me... why? Fear of a spanking.... a life skill that surely served me. [​IMG]
  7. Robinsegg

    Robinsegg SuperMod L's Supporter

    I give a bare bottom swat for direct defiance. One swat per occurance (immediately prior) or, if they repeat the offense within a day or two, they compound until the behavior stops (we've never had to do this, but have told our daughter it will happen and mean it). Our daughter is the only one who's needed this so far (she'll be turning six soon and her brother is 3). We do not use it as a last resort (when we're frustrated or angry), but for direct defiance to a direction. We use a bare hand.

  8. wanderingone

    wanderingone I'm not lost I'm just wandering


  9. Linnis

    Linnis Legend

    I would never spank a bare bottom, to me that's a violation...not only is it a spanking but a tool used to belittle and embarass the child. Not cool. I'm not even thinking from a parent's point of view but how would I feel to be smacked on my bare bottom? What feelings of humiliation etc

    So no I couldn't do that.
  10. £amb

    £amb Guest

    I was only joking when I said this...not to be taken too seriously.

    I too was spanked growing up. I learned not to do the same behavior or action twice. Well, sometimes it took alittle more. I was not abused or my parents spanked out of anger. They spanked because I deserved it. I can say this now as an adult and realize the stuff I put my parents through. I am thankful they spanked me because I'm afraid of the way I would of turned out had I not been disciplined. Talking or time-outs did not work for me at all. And they don't work in every situation.

    Please don't get the idea that people who spank their children do it out of sheer pleasure or abuse. Not all parents do, and I certainly don't.
  11. jgonz

    jgonz What G-d calls you to do, He equips you to do.

    We paddle (wood~ because the "rod" in Scripture is wooden) for certain things (defiance, repeated disobedience, intentionally hurting a sibling, rebellion) and use other methods of discipline for other things. We never use a hand, because that associates pain with Mommy or Daddy. And we never paddle on the bare skin.
  12. Joykins

    Joykins free Crazy Liz!

    Open-handed smack, over clothes or diaper, not too often. Probably doesn't "work" as well because it doesn't hurt much, but as they grow I am finding that time outs and loss of privileges work better anyway.

    I think spanking on a bare bottom is really harsh and humiliating and we do not do that.
  13. andiesmama

    andiesmama Senior Contributor

    We spank with a hand, no object like a spoon or paddle. Also I've never spanked on her bare bottom, and it always comes after a warning, then after the spanking follow-up with explanations & loving reassurances.
  14. Zoomer

    Zoomer Well-Known Member

    When we spank, it is fully clothed.
  15. savedbyHisgrace

    savedbyHisgrace Guest

    I rarely spank, maybe once per month, and it is usually ONE swat on his upper thigh, just to get his attention when he's being wilfully disobedient. I use my hand but many of my friends use a wooden spoon or paint stick. I might use one of those myself.

    I do not agree with bare-bottom spanking. My sister does that to her kids and I feel so badly for them. It's humiliating and degrading. The idea of them being stretched across a lap with their bare bottoms, that just makes me want to cry. :(
  16. icbeckyc

    icbeckyc Well-Known Member

    When I spanked it was a swat or two on the bottom. Never pulled their pants down. Never even thought of that being an option. hmm I know people that use the spoon or something other than a hand and I don't see how it is benefial. The reason I hear more often is because that associates pain with Mommy or Daddy. I don't think it would matter how I was spanked I would see mom or dad doing it so they are still the one inflicting the spanking. Still hurts and they are moving the spoon onto my butt. Also, unless you are carrying the spoon around then you have to stop the situation, go get something then comeback and punish. I like what ever I do to be immediate not after mommy finds somthing to spank you with. My brother still spanks his son, he is almost 12. I think that it is time to find other forms of punishment, grounding and such.

    But we all have to use what works for each child. One thing I have learned my two need different concequenses at different time. But they seem to be swapping places. My oldest worked well with a talk and choices, till lately. My youngest always needed punishment instantly and quickly not to wait. But lately she does better with talking and choices.

    Crazy kids always trying to trip you up. lol
  17. homeschooling_Momma

    homeschooling_Momma Well-Known Member


    I think it depends on the child, and upon the parent and upon the offense as to what should be done.

    I have never spanked my children on their bare bottoms. I also have never spanked them with my bare hands on their bottoms...I want them to think of my hands as loving, and not have memories of my hands touching them in pain.....

    I usually use a belt if I have to spank. But my children are most of the time well behaved....

    I always make sure they understand what the problem is, and we talk about it, talk about what the Lord expects of us...and then if necessary they get punishments....

    best of wishes to you all that have children like I do!
  18. Picture.Of.Obedience

    Picture.Of.Obedience I am FREE!

    Trevor is only 10 months, we havent really spanked yet, but we will use a belt. I prefer not the bare bottom. I think matthew got it that way and it just seems way wrong to me.
  19. Leanna

    Leanna Just me

    I do not think that people do it out of pleasure or abuse, I am sure that 95% of parents who spank do it because they think it is the best thing for their child. My mom was not abusive or enjoying it either. My dad never spanked me and he managed to have me well behaved for him as well. I don't feel that spanking is a necessary or effective tool for raising children, but I realize that most feel that it is. A lot of times I find that people do it just because that's what was done to them, and so its natural to fall into the habit and I don't want to get too far off topic! So let's leave it at that :wave:
  20. oliveplants

    oliveplants Senior Veteran

    We do not spank bare bottom. One time my DH had just been chastising our daughter, and then went to change her diaper and she cried for me to do it. I (who was upset with DH for getting onto the girls in the first place) said that a girl doesn't like to take her clothes off for a guy that's mad at her. THat sums it up for me.

    For quick smacks (when the child is endangering himself or others) we use the hand. But for the good spankings where you sit down and have a talk, we use a glue stick (what you use in a hot glue gun). It can be very soft or quite stinging (we tested on our legs first to make sure it wasn't too hard). There are a few benefits: 1, it is deliberate; 2, there is the object itself (seeing it is often enough to get the child to calm down); 3, it doesn't leave a mark like a hand will (because of the gaps between the fingers).

    Toddlers get it on the leg because they'd feel nothing through the diaper anyway. Potty trained child has to bend over so we make sure to get the bottom and not the less fatty parts where it would hurt more.