- Jun 9, 2010
- 11,093
- 6,889
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- Catholic
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- UK - SNP
Some random thoughts in my mind this morning ......
Am I a Catholic just because my parents were Catholics and they taught me that Catholicism was true ?
As for Jesus and what he taught his disciples should do......I think I'm a phoney . I don't really follow him . I don't really do what he asked , and , to be honest , I can't find within myself any genuine desire to do so .
Have my prayers ever really been answered or was it just coincidence ?
I speak with some people . They tell me that when they die that's it , the end . I sometimes get the feeling they may be right .
If Catholicism is true , and this I know for definite...... that many children are going to die from starvation today ......, am I entitled to have anything beyond what I really need ?
Am I just playing at being a Christian ?
My own comforts come before "God" , before others , before my neighbour .
And I don't really swallow the message that it all comes down to "faith"......"just have faith and all will be fine"......Jesus never said that .
I'm in my 70s now and I look back on my life , and "phoney" seems to be the only suitable adjective for myself .
I read Christian material , come across some "great ideas" , then find myself saying that so and so will benefit from that . I conveniently leave myself out .
I've read loads of Christian books , heard loads of Christian talks , done loads of "religious" things ( thousands of Masses , thousands of rosaries , thousands of hours of "prayer" , umpteen Sacraments of Reconciliation , thousands of hours telling kids the "truths" of Catholicism etc. etc. ) , but after it all I am left pondering whether it is all real or whether I have simply been going through the motions as a kind of insurance policy just in case "God" is real .
And please don't anyone tell me that I am being too hard on myself , that I am basically a good person , because no one on these forums knows me , just as I know no one on these forums .
As I said .....Some random thoughts in my mind this morning .
And I'm wondering now whether I should post this .
Any way , here goes.....Click .
Am I a Catholic just because my parents were Catholics and they taught me that Catholicism was true ?
As for Jesus and what he taught his disciples should do......I think I'm a phoney . I don't really follow him . I don't really do what he asked , and , to be honest , I can't find within myself any genuine desire to do so .
Have my prayers ever really been answered or was it just coincidence ?
I speak with some people . They tell me that when they die that's it , the end . I sometimes get the feeling they may be right .
If Catholicism is true , and this I know for definite...... that many children are going to die from starvation today ......, am I entitled to have anything beyond what I really need ?
Am I just playing at being a Christian ?
My own comforts come before "God" , before others , before my neighbour .
And I don't really swallow the message that it all comes down to "faith"......"just have faith and all will be fine"......Jesus never said that .
I'm in my 70s now and I look back on my life , and "phoney" seems to be the only suitable adjective for myself .
I read Christian material , come across some "great ideas" , then find myself saying that so and so will benefit from that . I conveniently leave myself out .
I've read loads of Christian books , heard loads of Christian talks , done loads of "religious" things ( thousands of Masses , thousands of rosaries , thousands of hours of "prayer" , umpteen Sacraments of Reconciliation , thousands of hours telling kids the "truths" of Catholicism etc. etc. ) , but after it all I am left pondering whether it is all real or whether I have simply been going through the motions as a kind of insurance policy just in case "God" is real .
And please don't anyone tell me that I am being too hard on myself , that I am basically a good person , because no one on these forums knows me , just as I know no one on these forums .
As I said .....Some random thoughts in my mind this morning .
And I'm wondering now whether I should post this .
Any way , here goes.....Click .