Do I really believe all this Christian stuff ?

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Colin

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Some random thoughts in my mind this morning ......

Am I a Catholic just because my parents were Catholics and they taught me that Catholicism was true ?

As for Jesus and what he taught his disciples should do......I think I'm a phoney . I don't really follow him . I don't really do what he asked , and , to be honest , I can't find within myself any genuine desire to do so .

Have my prayers ever really been answered or was it just coincidence ?

I speak with some people . They tell me that when they die that's it , the end . I sometimes get the feeling they may be right .

If Catholicism is true , and this I know for definite...... that many children are going to die from starvation today ......, am I entitled to have anything beyond what I really need ?

Am I just playing at being a Christian ?

My own comforts come before "God" , before others , before my neighbour .

And I don't really swallow the message that it all comes down to "faith"......"just have faith and all will be fine"......Jesus never said that .

I'm in my 70s now and I look back on my life , and "phoney" seems to be the only suitable adjective for myself .

I read Christian material , come across some "great ideas" , then find myself saying that so and so will benefit from that . I conveniently leave myself out .

I've read loads of Christian books , heard loads of Christian talks , done loads of "religious" things ( thousands of Masses , thousands of rosaries , thousands of hours of "prayer" , umpteen Sacraments of Reconciliation , thousands of hours telling kids the "truths" of Catholicism etc. etc. ) , but after it all I am left pondering whether it is all real or whether I have simply been going through the motions as a kind of insurance policy just in case "God" is real .

And please don't anyone tell me that I am being too hard on myself , that I am basically a good person , because no one on these forums knows me , just as I know no one on these forums .

As I said .....Some random thoughts in my mind this morning .

And I'm wondering now whether I should post this .

Any way , here goes.....Click .
 

Goatee

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Thoughts you have. Shared by many. Myself included.

It's always Satan trying to pull us away from God. He feeds our minds with falsehoods etc. For me, it's lust and adulterous thoughts and then actions! He is not happy until we are sinning or moving away from God.

But, he may win battles in my mind, or my flesh but he ain't going to win the war! No way!

Keep strong friend.

God bless you
 
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musicalpilgrim

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Some random thoughts in my mind this morning ......

Am I a Catholic just because my parents were Catholics and they taught me that Catholicism was true ?

As for Jesus and what he taught his disciples should do......I think I'm a phoney . I don't really follow him . I don't really do what he asked , and , to be honest , I can't find within myself any genuine desire to do so .

Have my prayers ever really been answered or was it just coincidence ?

I speak with some people . They tell me that when they die that's it , the end . I sometimes get the feeling they may be right .

If Catholicism is true , and this I know for definite...... that many children are going to die from starvation today ......, am I entitled to have anything beyond what I really need ?

Am I just playing at being a Christian ?

My own comforts come before "God" , before others , before my neighbour .

And I don't really swallow the message that it all comes down to "faith"......"just have faith and all will be fine"......Jesus never said that .

I'm in my 70s now and I look back on my life , and "phoney" seems to be the only suitable adjective for myself .

I read Christian material , come across some "great ideas" , then find myself saying that so and so will benefit from that . I conveniently leave myself out .

I've read loads of Christian books , heard loads of Christian talks , done loads of "religious" things ( thousands of Masses , thousands of rosaries , thousands of hours of "prayer" , umpteen Sacraments of Reconciliation , thousands of hours telling kids the "truths" of Catholicism etc. etc. ) , but after it all I am left pondering whether it is all real or whether I have simply been going through the motions as a kind of insurance policy just in case "God" is real .

And please don't anyone tell me that I am being too hard on myself , that I am basically a good person , because no one on these forums knows me , just as I know no one on these forums .

As I said .....Some random thoughts in my mind this morning .

And I'm wondering now whether I should post this .

Any way , here goes.....Click .

Well, Goatee is right, Satan will try and win the battle for the mind.

I thought I had lost every Spiritual battle when my son died 2 years ago and couldn't believe the impact it had on my walk with Jesus. The folks on the forum have really helped me with their prayers and encouragement. I do hope I can repay some of it by praying for you my friend. When I first came on the forum, your music ministered to me on your thread... hymns.

I pray that God will make himself real to you this Christmas. That you will find that 'something more'.

I read the book of Acts again, all the way through and discovered the amazing awareness that the disciples had when they realized that Jesus was alive and had risen from the dead. And then the amazing gift of the Holy Spirit indwelling.
Philipians 1
...but with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ will be magnified in my body, whether by life or by death.
21 For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.
 
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archer75

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Good post.

I often feel the same way.

Regarding having more than starving children...many of us in the "West" are in this position. Have so much and count it as so little.

Whether you believe or not I can't say But either way, you can change.
 
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Deadworm

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Some random thoughts in my mind this morning ......

Am I a Catholic just because my parents were Catholics and they taught me that Catholicism was true ?

As for Jesus and what he taught his disciples should do......I think I'm a phoney . I don't really follow him . I don't really do what he asked , and , to be honest , I can't find within myself any genuine desire to do so .

Have my prayers ever really been answered or was it just coincidence ?

I speak with some people . They tell me that when they die that's it , the end . I sometimes get the feeling they may be right .

If Catholicism is true , and this I know for definite...... that many children are going to die from starvation today ......, am I entitled to have anything beyond what I really need ?

Am I just playing at being a Christian ?

My own comforts come before "God" , before others , before my neighbour .

And I don't really swallow the message that it all comes down to "faith"......"just have faith and all will be fine"......Jesus never said that .

I'm in my 70s now and I look back on my life , and "phoney" seems to be the only suitable adjective for myself .

I read Christian material , come across some "great ideas" , then find myself saying that so and so will benefit from that . I conveniently leave myself out .

I've read loads of Christian books , heard loads of Christian talks , done loads of "religious" things ( thousands of Masses , thousands of rosaries , thousands of hours of "prayer" , umpteen Sacraments of Reconciliation , thousands of hours telling kids the "truths" of Catholicism etc. etc. ) , but after it all I am left pondering whether it is all real or whether I have simply been going through the motions as a kind of insurance policy just in case "God" is real .

And please don't anyone tell me that I am being too hard on myself , that I am basically a good person , because no one on these forums knows me , just as I know no one on these forums .

As I said .....Some random thoughts in my mind this morning .

And I'm wondering now whether I should post this .

Any way , here goes.....Click .

From Jesus' perspective you are spiritually lukewarm. But read Jesus' letter to the Church of Laodicea in Revelation 3:14-22 (quoted below) and note 2 chilling facts about His attitude to this type of person: (1) Jesus poetically warns that He will spit or vomit such people out of His mouth! The Greek translated "spit" also means "vomit." (2) More importantly but less often noticed, He expresses a strong preference for those who are spiritually "cold;" i.e. those who make no pretense to be interested in spiritual things or observing spiritual rituals. At least they recognize their true spiritual condition. Put differently, Jesus requires total spiritual commitment or a total abandonment of His church. He didn't incarnate and suffer for your sins to produce spiritual phonies. I suppose that means that we all need the courage to doubt rather than the delusion of a faith that isn't real. In any case, please read Jesus' words quoted below and pray about your response:

"15 I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! 16 So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. 17 You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. 18 I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see.

19 Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent. 20 Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.

21 To the one who is victorious, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I was victorious and sat down with my Father on his throne. 22 Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches.”

Notice the challenge to renew an intimate connection with Jesus through a quest to nurture inner spiritual riches and supernatural vision of Christ's beauty. But for you, the path to such a breakthrough may need to take you io
 
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musicalpilgrim

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From Jesus' perspective you are spiritually lukewarm. But read Jesus' letter to the Church of Laodicea in Revelation 3:14-22 (quoted below) and note 2 chilling facts about His attitude to this type of person: (1) Jesus poetically warns that He will spit or vomit such people out of His mouth! The Greek translated "spit" also means "vomit." (2) More importantly but less often noticed, He expresses a strong preference for those who are spiritually "cold;" i.e. those who make no pretense to be interested in spiritual things or observing spiritual rituals. At least they recognize their true spiritual condition. Put differently, Jesus requires total spiritual commitment or a total abandonment of His church. He didn't incarnate and suffer for your sins to produce spiritual phonies. I suppose that means that we all need the courage to doubt rather than the delusion of a faith that isn't real. In any case, please read Jesus' words quoted below and pray about your response:

"15 I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! 16 So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. 17 You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. 18 I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see.

19 Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent. 20 Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.

21 To the one who is victorious, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I was victorious and sat down with my Father on his throne. 22 Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches.”

Notice the challenge to renew an intimate connection with Jesus through a quest to nurture inner spiritual riches and supernatural vision of Christ's beauty. But for you, the path to such a breakthrough may need to take you io
This is not applicable.
 
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Tomm

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He feeds our minds with falsehoods etc. For me, it's lust and adulterous thoughts and then actions! ... But, he may win battles in my mind, or my flesh

When Satan tries to tempt you in thoughts, be a "coward" -- don't fight with him, run away !
(Also ask Our Lord and Our Lady for help at the same time)
 
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omega2xx

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Some random thoughts in my mind this morning ......

Am I a Catholic just because my parents were Catholics and they taught me that Catholicism was true ?

As for Jesus and what he taught his disciples should do......I think I'm a phoney . I don't really follow him . I don't really do what he asked , and , to be honest , I can't find within myself any genuine desire to do so .

Have you ever ask God to reveal Himself to you and show you His truth? Until you do that, you are just spinning your religion wheels.

Have my prayers ever really been answered or was it just coincidence ?

I speak with some people . They tell me that when they die that's it , the end . I sometimes get the feeling they may be right .

If Catholicism is true , and this I know for definite...... that many children are going to die from starvation today ......, am I entitled to have anything beyond what I really need ?

Am I just playing at being a Christian ?

My own comforts come before "God" , before others , before my neighbour .

And I don't really swallow the message that it all comes down to "faith"......"just have faith and all will be fine"......Jesus never said that .

I'm in my 70s now and I look back on my life , and "phoney" seems to be the only suitable adjective for myself .

I read Christian material , come across some "great ideas" , then find myself saying that so and so will benefit from that . I conveniently leave myself out .

I've read loads of Christian books , heard loads of Christian talks , done loads of "religious" things ( thousands of Masses , thousands of rosaries , thousands of hours of "prayer" , umpteen Sacraments of Reconciliation , thousands of hours telling kids the "truths" of Catholicism etc. etc. ) , but after it all I am left pondering whether it is all real or whether I have simply been going through the motions as a kind of insurance policy just in case "God" is real .

And please don't anyone tell me that I am being too hard on myself , that I am basically a good person , because no one on these forums knows me , just as I know no one on these forums .

As I said .....Some random thoughts in my mind this morning .

And I'm wondering now whether I should post this .

Any way , here goes.....Click .
 
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Shadow

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I'm in my 70s now and I look back on my life , and "phoney" seems to be the only suitable adjective for myself .

That's a significant admission. If you can, it is worth keeping a private journal of your thoughts and you can pick out areas that you are uncomfortable with and concerned about. You could do it as a blog on Christian Forums as well if you wanted. You're never too old to explore or try new things, so this is potentially an opportunity to ask what you want most out of life and what parts of your faith are most valuable to you. It doesn't mean an all-or-nothing situation, but certainly you can look back on your experiences and ask yourself what things you would have wanted to do differently. Being reflective isn't something to be worried about and if anything can help us grow further.
 
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Tolworth John

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And I don't really swallow the message that it all comes down to "faith"......"just have faith and all will be fine"......Jesus never said that .
Christianity is based on historical facts, it is a reasonable belief that we should be able to explain clearly and logically.

There is nothing wrong with having doubts or questions about ones belief.

It is what one does with them that matters.
Try coldcasechristianity, reasonablefaith, toughquestionsanswered orinvestegate Gary ?Habermasses research into the historical accuracy of the gospel accounts of the life, death and resurrection of Jesus, according to historians.
Yes he has research what just about every historian has written about these issues and surpriseingly over 75% believe Jesus lived, died, was burried and that the tomb was found to be empty.

Rather than feel sorry for a loss of faith, investigate just what you believe.
 
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tadoflamb

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Some random thoughts in my mind this morning ......

Am I a Catholic just because my parents were Catholics and they taught me that Catholicism was true ?

As for Jesus and what he taught his disciples should do......I think I'm a phoney . I don't really follow him . I don't really do what he asked , and , to be honest , I can't find within myself any genuine desire to do so .

Have my prayers ever really been answered or was it just coincidence ?

I speak with some people . They tell me that when they die that's it , the end . I sometimes get the feeling they may be right .

If Catholicism is true , and this I know for definite...... that many children are going to die from starvation today ......, am I entitled to have anything beyond what I really need ?

Am I just playing at being a Christian ?

My own comforts come before "God" , before others , before my neighbour .

And I don't really swallow the message that it all comes down to "faith"......"just have faith and all will be fine"......Jesus never said that .

I'm in my 70s now and I look back on my life , and "phoney" seems to be the only suitable adjective for myself .

I read Christian material , come across some "great ideas" , then find myself saying that so and so will benefit from that . I conveniently leave myself out .

I've read loads of Christian books , heard loads of Christian talks , done loads of "religious" things ( thousands of Masses , thousands of rosaries , thousands of hours of "prayer" , umpteen Sacraments of Reconciliation , thousands of hours telling kids the "truths" of Catholicism etc. etc. ) , but after it all I am left pondering whether it is all real or whether I have simply been going through the motions as a kind of insurance policy just in case "God" is real .

And please don't anyone tell me that I am being too hard on myself , that I am basically a good person , because no one on these forums knows me , just as I know no one on these forums .

As I said .....Some random thoughts in my mind this morning .

And I'm wondering now whether I should post this .

Any way , here goes.....Click .

This is why the Lord gives us converts, Colin. To let you know what a fantastic gift you have been given with your Catholic faith. :)

Some time back you shared with me some videos on spiritual discernment. I believe you are paying too much attention to the bad spirits in your ears. They are telling lies and they need to be rejected.

I deal with the same bad spirits. They're terribly clever. They mimic my own voice as well as the voices of the Catholics/Christians on these forums. They're doing their best to drag me down, but I know now these aren't my own thoughts and now I know not to pay any attention to them.

Also, it's when we're tired when these bad spirits can get the best of us.

On the first Sunday of Advent, one of the last masses I'll be serving for a while, the priest told us in his homily to take care of ourselves this Advent. Take care of yourself, Colin. Rest. And be most assured that you are a blessed child of God, a salt of the earth type of person with a light that shines in a dark world.

So, knock off with the nonsense. ;)
 
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FireDragon76

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You are just coming to the reality of what we Lutherans call simul iustus et peccator. By making that confession, you have proven yourself to be a real Christian ,far more real than many.

Accepting your inner sinner, your inner perversity, is a real struggle, especially if you've been raised to think somehow you must be perfect, if you just figured out the right technique and try harder, then and only then, maybe will you have earned the right to feel acceptable.

Just remembered, Jesus came and died for the least, the lost, and the last. He will straighten our crooked lines for us, even if we don't see it in this life.
 
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Colin

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So, knock off with the nonsense. ;)

lego.jpg
 
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Colin

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I am going to ask that this thread be closed . I have never been keen on threads which focus on one individual .

But a few remarks first .

Thanks Goatee for sharing your thoughts and admitting to your weaknesses .

Thanks musicalpilgrim for your kind thoughts . Yes , I remember the enjoyment we had with our hymns .

Thanks hengesthorsa for admitting that you often feel the same way as me . It helps to know that I am not alone .

Yes , Deadworm , I am fully aware of your quote from Revelation . It challenged me more than 50 years ago and still does .

Thanks Martin Tom for what you have to say , and for advice given .

Thanks Red Economist for your advice . I take note of it especially because you are an atheist and are seeking meaning . I cherish encouraging words from one who does not share my label .

Thanks Tolworth John for reminding me that there is nothing wrong with having doubts or questions about ones belief.

Thanks , Tad , especially for what you say about tiredness and rest . For more than two months I have been on a diet to lose weight . I have been rather rigid and ruthless with myself , and I think it has taken its toll on me . I have decided to ease off and give myself more time than I had planned to get my weight down .

Thanks FireDragon76 for your Lutheran take on all of this . I have been aware of simul iustus et peccator for a long time . I know that the Magisterium has problems with the term , but for me it makes sense of the human condition .

 
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