Do Christians support sexual health education for teenagers

[Dave-W]

Ohh you've been talking about a youth group type seminar thing rather than one-on-one counseling.

Indeed.

But even in that type of environment, nitty-gritty details could be brought out in the open. IMO there is TOO MUCH darkness (aka privacy) concerning all things sexual that by discussing them in a semi-public context may help shed light on otherwise dark deeds.

That is how guys like Cosby, Weinstein, et al, got away with such horrendous acts for so long - they were under the cover of darkness/privacy. And then look at what happened when a few brave souls brought it out to the light - the flood gates opened up and we started to comprehend the magnitude of the problem.

What I was envisioning is that when a child got to be "of age" to know certain things, then they would need to make an appointment with the pastor to get sex counseling, and that is just *not* really a good idea!

No - that is definitely not a good idea.

My mom told me about some friend of hers from her college days. The friend was about to get married and the (male) congregational leader gave her a "one on one" sex ed class shortly before the wedding, which she described to my mom. So my mom asked her if she got pregnant right away after the wedding, how could she tell if the baby was her husband's or the congregational leader's.

 

[faroukfarouk]

Parents may be clueless, but I still feel they are primarily responsible for making sure their children can get the knowledge and expertise from somewhere. I'm just not convinced that an similarly clueless pastor qualifies as that expertise and should be bearing the ultimate responsibility for providing teenage sex education. I can already see so many ways where pastors being the sexual mentors for teens could go horribly wrong.

Preachers are not the natural repository for condom distribution, are they?

 

[bekkilyn]

Preachers are not the natural repository for condom distribution, are they?

Haha, not so far as I know!

 

[faroukfarouk]

Haha, not so far as I know!

Talking about such things belongs more within the family, I think.

 

[Zoii]

I actually think a

Ohh you've been talking about a youth group type seminar thing rather than one-on-one counseling. I remember something like that back when I was a teen in the Southern Baptist church, though it delved more into teen relationships and dating. It wasn't the pastor who did the seminar though. It was an "expert" who went around to different churches and youth groups and who did this sort of thing "full time", which may actually be a better way to go about it than expecting the pastor of each church to personally run it simply because they're the pastor.

What I was envisioning is that when a child got to be "of age" to know certain things, then they would need to make an appointment with the pastor to get sex counseling, and that is just *not* really a good idea!

youth group is a good idea - totally uncensored - so if its in a religous context then the facilitator needs to be well equipped and hold on for a wild ride. Not that Im suggesting a forum be allowed to denegrate, but if someone wants to speak frankly about desires, fears or simply wants a frank answer to a question, then it should happen. I'd recommend an experienced sexual educator along with a lawyer.

 

[Paidiske]

You know, I've been in the room when a youth group had that kind of discussion, and I'm not sure it's a great forum at all. It is not, for example, the sort of environment where you want people making disclosures of abuse. (Not because you don't want it disclosed, but because it's not a safe environment, and confidentiality generally isn't something teenagers are great at).

 

[Zoii]

You know, I've been in the room when a youth group had that kind of discussion, and I'm not sure it's a great forum at all. It is not, for example, the sort of environment where you want people making disclosures of abuse. (Not because you don't want it disclosed, but because it's not a safe environment, and confidentiality generally isn't something teenagers are great at).

No I agree its not the environment for traumatic disclosure of any kind - not at least until the teen has well adjusted and acknowledges that he/she is walking in to tell a story for the benefit of the group.

I was really referring to a group process where objectives are education...NOT trauma counselling.

 

[JCFantasy23]

The issue with such groups is also triggering for others to develop similar urges, the confidentiality, feeling more betrayed than you would with professional counseling if someone didn't understand or it went upside down (which would cause longer and lasting damage in the psyche). There would need to be a specified training involved when it came to a youth group leader or other type of group leader for this kind of thing - which many wouldn't be qualified for even if they think they are.

Preachers are not the natural repository for condom distribution, are they?

I would seriously hope not. How awkward. I would see people avoiding that when possible and just taking risks instead.

 

[Paidiske]

Interestingly, I was at a professional standards training day on Saturday where the lawyer running it said that there's current discussion amongst the lawyers that the church might well be construed to have a duty of care to make sure that children at least have enough knowledge to know a) what abuse is and identify when it's happening to them, and b) have enough language to be able to communicate that to an appropriate adult.

That's an incredibly fraught problem - I'd still object to the idea that it's my job to teach children that - but I can see where the idea comes from.

 

[Zoii]

Do you get counseling training @Paidiske

 

[Paidiske]

I'm not a trained or qualified counsellor. But my pastoral care training would cover some of the same skill set.

 

[RDKirk]

Do you get counseling training @Paidiske

There are many different kinds of counseling, and when you get into serious personal issues, the distinct areas become very personally significant. Nobody can be a fully effective counselor for everybody. While a pastor may be a good general counselor, a smart pastor will also have a Rolodex of specialists.

 

[Paidiske]

Completely agree. The most important counselling skill is knowing when and to whom to refer.

 

[Zoii]

I had to google what a rolodex was

 

[Paidiske]

That's a generation gap thing.

 

[Dave-W]

There are many different kinds of counseling, and when you get into serious personal issues, the distinct areas become very personally significant.

True. Even in Christian/Biblical counseling there are many models.

There is Nouthetic which is a strict bible based short term approach.
There are also Theophostic, Elijah House, and the Frost models. I am sure there are a dozen or so more.

I used to know a pastor who was trained in the Elijah House (personal friends of the Sandfords that pioneered it) and a couple of other styles. He also operated in the 1 Cor 12 gifts of Word of Knowledge and Wisdom. He could call out things not even hinted at.

 

[Dave-W]

I had to google what a rolodex was

 

[Zoii]

Two words for you Dave "Phone App"

 

[Dave-W]

Rolodex was the inspiration for "phone apps."

 

[Zoii]

Itd also have been useful if someone with a genetic/medical background had spoken to us about intersexual issues due to gender genetic dysmorphia and mosaic presentations. I had no idea that you could have indistinguishable genetalia or a mix or look like a woman with breasts but have a Y chrmosome and a small penis and so...goodness I cant imagine how it would be with teenage hormones and a genetics like that.