Divorced and wanting a new marriage with ex husband

Jan 17, 2018
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I was divorced August 21,2017 from my husband after 27 years. As I stood in front of the judge I thought I was going to die. When the words were spoken, divorce is granted, I knew the true meaning of hell on earth. We are both Christians and have attended the same church for years. For a long time (years) I knew there was something wrong as my husband became more distant.I tried hard to talk to him and I walked around even in stores breaking down crying. Then the Holy Spirit started showing me things. He led me and my son to come home early and find that he had inappropriate content pulled up on the computer, the computer in our alcove with all the bible verses taped to it. It is where I reached the world through Christ with His word. The first year of the last seven we wanted it to work. (I still do). He received Godly council and materials from the pastors that worked with him at church. He would do a few pages and quit. over the course of the next years my son and I prayed and warred over his addiction and heart that turned form the life Christ would have us live. the, night at 3:30 in the morning, five hours before the divorce hearing, I opened his door and woke him up(we were sleeping in separate bedrooms.) I asked him if he would give it up for God, he was silent. Would he give it up for his son, for me. He said nothing I walked out of the room and hours later heard the words that echo in my mind and heart today. I went to one counciling session with him (that was not of God) and did nothing after as I waited on him to turn through prayer. I have learned some things on this side of divorce, one thing I always new how deeply I love the Lord, my husband and family. We talked more after the divorce as I stayed in our home two weeks than in the seven years. He told me he would never have divorced me but would never have stopped what he was doing. I thought I was going to be physically sick. He also told me with fear on his face he could have been caught at work and lost his job(he is a police officer) I hurt so bad when I heard those words and saw his face. I asked him why didn't he feel that about his family? He was open the first week to coming and seeing my son and myself but I wanted our distance at first, for myself and son that this had wounded. It a matter of a week or so he no longer wants anything to do with me. It makes me feel as thou I did something wrong. I know now I was asleep in pain praying and waiting on my husband to show me we were worth the change,that he loved me, that I had value. that our family had value....... that he surrendered to Christ.We had little communication over the last few years we were married I stayed in my room. I know now if I had pursued counciling he would have went. If I had kept open communication with him.....if if if. He wants nothing to do with me and because of him not sending my son a card for his birthday or Christmas my son is wounded (hurt). He has are po box and because I was led by the Holy Spirit to be transparent with him our address now. He is living in his apartment, can come and go as he pleases and I believe is seeing someone or wanting a new life. He told me when I walked in the door after the door don't wait on him. He has said it again when I asked him if that's what he still wanted. We committed to get counciling and then after awhile to get help together. yet now he wont even speak to me.......I have reached out to our church 3 times to try and get help for myself and see if Calvin will have one session with me at church. I will call them again tomorrow. In a matter of close to 5 months My self and family lost our dog, my marriage, my home to flood and my baby sister a few days before Thanksgiving. My prayer request is for God to minister to me the direction I should go in. I love my husband and God is a God of miracles. I'm heart broken I did not do more. My (ex)husband does not want to hear any of it. I send him the dates and times of my counciling sessions and pray he will come. Im asking for prayer for his heart ot turn to a real relationship with Christ to see his family and the wife of his youth again. I pray to God for the witness in this to others.........please pray for the pain I carry with me every day and for my son as well as the hearts of my other children that love us so much. I give God the glory for my amazing kids, for family and friends that are and have stood with us in prayer and for you. May God bless you and your lives from now into eternity. Shalom.
 

“Paisios”

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I was divorced August 21,2017 from my husband after 27 years. As I stood in front of the judge I thought I was going to die. When the words were spoken, divorce is granted, I knew the true meaning of hell on earth. We are both Christians and have attended the same church for years. For a long time (years) I knew there was something wrong as my husband became more distant.I tried hard to talk to him and I walked around even in stores breaking down crying. Then the Holy Spirit started showing me things. He led me and my son to come home early and find that he had inappropriate content pulled up on the computer, the computer in our alcove with all the bible verses taped to it. It is where I reached the world through Christ with His word. The first year of the last seven we wanted it to work. (I still do). He received Godly council and materials from the pastors that worked with him at church. He would do a few pages and quit. over the course of the next years my son and I prayed and warred over his addiction and heart that turned form the life Christ would have us live. the, night at 3:30 in the morning, five hours before the divorce hearing, I opened his door and woke him up(we were sleeping in separate bedrooms.) I asked him if he would give it up for God, he was silent. Would he give it up for his son, for me. He said nothing I walked out of the room and hours later heard the words that echo in my mind and heart today. I went to one counciling session with him (that was not of God) and did nothing after as I waited on him to turn through prayer. I have learned some things on this side of divorce, one thing I always new how deeply I love the Lord, my husband and family. We talked more after the divorce as I stayed in our home two weeks than in the seven years. He told me he would never have divorced me but would never have stopped what he was doing. I thought I was going to be physically sick. He also told me with fear on his face he could have been caught at work and lost his job(he is a police officer) I hurt so bad when I heard those words and saw his face. I asked him why didn't he feel that about his family? He was open the first week to coming and seeing my son and myself but I wanted our distance at first, for myself and son that this had wounded. It a matter of a week or so he no longer wants anything to do with me. It makes me feel as thou I did something wrong. I know now I was asleep in pain praying and waiting on my husband to show me we were worth the change,that he loved me, that I had value. that our family had value....... that he surrendered to Christ.We had little communication over the last few years we were married I stayed in my room. I know now if I had pursued counciling he would have went. If I had kept open communication with him.....if if if. He wants nothing to do with me and because of him not sending my son a card for his birthday or Christmas my son is wounded (hurt). He has are po box and because I was led by the Holy Spirit to be transparent with him our address now. He is living in his apartment, can come and go as he pleases and I believe is seeing someone or wanting a new life. He told me when I walked in the door after the door don't wait on him. He has said it again when I asked him if that's what he still wanted. We committed to get counciling and then after awhile to get help together. yet now he wont even speak to me.......I have reached out to our church 3 times to try and get help for myself and see if Calvin will have one session with me at church. I will call them again tomorrow. In a matter of close to 5 months My self and family lost our dog, my marriage, my home to flood and my baby sister a few days before Thanksgiving. My prayer request is for God to minister to me the direction I should go in. I love my husband and God is a God of miracles. I'm heart broken I did not do more. My (ex)husband does not want to hear any of it. I send him the dates and times of my counciling sessions and pray he will come. Im asking for prayer for his heart ot turn to a real relationship with Christ to see his family and the wife of his youth again. I pray to God for the witness in this to others.........please pray for the pain I carry with me every day and for my son as well as the hearts of my other children that love us so much. I give God the glory for my amazing kids, for family and friends that are and have stood with us in prayer and for you. May God bless you and your lives from now into eternity. Shalom.
I am so sorry you are going through all of this, and will pray for you. I hope you find peace in Christ, and, if God’s will, healing and reconciliation with your husband...but the peace of Christ, regardless.

Welcome to the forums. I am sure you will find others in a similar situation, and find support and godly advice.
 
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LosAngelesButterfly

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I am so sorry you are going through all of this, and will pray for you. I hope you find peace in Christ, and, if God’s will, healing and reconciliation with your husband...but the peace of Christ, regardless.

Welcome to the forums. I am sure you will find others in a similar situation, and find support and godly advice.

I am sorry for what you are going through. I went through a painful divorce long ago. Married for years and years. I was not respected by my husband and he saw me as the cook and the maid.
I tried prayer. I tried to compose my myself and just be quite and do my duties. Nothing changed.
It changed when I started respecting myself enough to file for divorce. I went from a beautiful home to poverty. I supported my husband for years helping him build his career. Over time I was a uneducated dumb maid. I had put myself last. Took me years of hard work to go back to school and work full time. Lost weight, started running. Moved away from the ex husband. Got a card one day signed with a first name telling what a wonderful wife and mother I had been. Was from my ex husband. He forgot that when he wanted the house in the divorce but not the bills. I got the bills.
I would do the divorce again. No regrets. If god had not helped me I would still be the maid taking verbal abuse. Now I am still single, but I am okay. You will be okay too. It will take tears and time and lots of prayer. Read about Joseph.
 
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Jan 17, 2018
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I am so sorry you are going through all of this, and will pray for you. I hope you find peace in Christ, and, if God’s will, healing and reconciliation with your husband...but the peace of Christ, regardless.

Welcome to the forums. I am sure you will find others in a similar situation, and find support and godly advice.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart. God bless you and yours.
 
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Jan 17, 2018
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I am sorry for what you are going through. I went through a painful divorce long ago. Married for years and years. I was not respected by my husband and he saw me as the cook and the maid.
I tried prayer. I tried to compose my myself and just be quite and do my duties. Nothing changed.
It changed when I started respecting myself enough to file for divorce. I went from a beautiful home to poverty. I supported my husband for years helping him build his career. Over time I was a uneducated dumb maid. I had put myself last. Took me years of hard work to go back to school and work full time. Lost weight, started running. Moved away from the ex husband. Got a card one day signed with a first name telling what a wonderful wife and mother I had been. Was from my ex husband. He forgot that when he wanted the house in the divorce but not the bills. I got the bills.
I would do the divorce again. No regrets. If god had not helped me I would still be the maid taking verbal abuse. Now I am still single, but I am okay. You will be okay too. It will take tears and time and lots of prayer. Read about Joseph.
Thank you for your response........I am in the valley yet in the valley is where the Lord is surly doing His work. I am asking the Lord to open a door tomorrow at my church, that I will be able to set up an appointment and that my ex is willing to go. We both attend the same church. Its important to me no matter what direction the Lord chooses. I am 65 back in school to teach elementary special education and am also getting my certification as a personal trainer this June. I to pushed him through the academy, he to is making good money. I don't regret that but I would tell any young woman get a degree. keep your hand in your field to some degree. I was a good wife BUT now I am on a journey to be a mighty woman of God. I am immersing myself in the word for that and remain in prayer. Please pray sister God's will in this and the Holy Spirit speaks it clearly to me. I can remember at the beginning after finding out the truth and after the shock came relief. I finally knew what the evil was in our home and our marriage. We in agreement, were going to be one of the few couples to get to the other side with God's grace and willing hearts. We needed help to do that not just Calvin........that is the sting. I can remember after the second year living in separate rooms, I had found a prayer for a Godly mate and in that prayer I ask for him to be prepared for me. I asked my husband to read it and told him he was that man. five years later I am putting on my make up and the Holy Spirit spoke, "You think I am preparing him for you. I am preparing you for him. I stared at my self in shock.....not that the Holy Spirit had spoke to me for He is gracious and has spoken to me in the past, rather that He told me I had work to do. Even then I was asleep in my pain and prayed but did not seek Him in this. The prayer had been down from my wall for a long time. I don't know how or when it came down. So now on the other side I see I needed to take the plank out of my own eye. After the divorce i forced myself to go to the gym.......I walked calling out the name Jesus as I walked around working out. I heard a deep cry come from the deepest part of my inner man as a wounded animal might sound. I cried out loud " oh Lord I am in the wilderness" minutes later the Holy Spirit spoke with a voice of reprimand and love, " You act as thou the wilderness is a bad thing, it is where I am calling you closer to me" It is in these moments even writing this I am reminded of the goodness and grace of God. I am reminded of His love and mercy, his compassion for us. I can not let this stand as it is. It is what i did in the marriage. I am asking now in the name of Jesus for the favor of God. Once more I am asking for the goodness and grace of God, I am asking for His love and mercy, His compassion. He is near to the broken heart-ed, of which Lord I am one. I ask this according to your word.......to the glory of God and to the tearing down of every strong hold. Blessings and peace sister. Thank you again.
Psalm 34:18New Living Translation (NLT)
18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted;
he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.
 
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Jan 17, 2018
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I am so sorry you are going through all of this, and will pray for you. I hope you find peace in Christ, and, if God’s will, healing and reconciliation with your husband...but the peace of Christ, regardless.

Welcome to the forums. I am sure you will find others in a similar situation, and find support and godly advice.
Thank you and your son . I am blessed to read your response and receive your prayers and son's wisdom
 
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mnorian

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Thread has been moved from
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LosAngelesButterfly

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Thank you for your response........I am in the valley yet in the valley is where the Lord is surly doing His work. I am asking the Lord to open a door tomorrow at my church, that I will be able to set up an appointment and that my ex is willing to go. We both attend the same church. Its important to me no matter what direction the Lord chooses. I am 65 back in school to teach elementary special education and am also getting my certification as a personal trainer this June. I to pushed him through the academy, he to is making good money. I don't regret that but I would tell any young woman get a degree. keep your hand in your field to some degree. I was a good wife BUT now I am on a journey to be a mighty woman of God. I am immersing myself in the word for that and remain in prayer. Please pray sister God's will in this and the Holy Spirit speaks it clearly to me. I can remember at the beginning after finding out the truth and after the shock came relief. I finally knew what the evil was in our home and our marriage. We in agreement, were going to be one of the few couples to get to the other side with God's grace and willing hearts. We needed help to do that not just Calvin........that is the sting. I can remember after the second year living in separate rooms, I had found a prayer for a Godly mate and in that prayer I ask for him to be prepared for me. I asked my husband to read it and told him he was that man. five years later I am putting on my make up and the Holy Spirit spoke, "You think I am preparing him for you. I am preparing you for him. I stared at my self in shock.....not that the Holy Spirit had spoke to me for He is gracious and has spoken to me in the past, rather that He told me I had work to do. Even then I was asleep in my pain and prayed but did not seek Him in this. The prayer had been down from my wall for a long time. I don't know how or when it came down. So now on the other side I see I needed to take the plank out of my own eye. After the divorce i forced myself to go to the gym.......I walked calling out the name Jesus as I walked around working out. I heard a deep cry come from the deepest part of my inner man as a wounded animal might sound. I cried out loud " oh Lord I am in the wilderness" minutes later the Holy Spirit spoke with a voice of reprimand and love, " You act as thou the wilderness is a bad thing, it is where I am calling you closer to me" It is in these moments even writing this I am reminded of the goodness and grace of God. I am reminded of His love and mercy, his compassion for us. I can not let this stand as it is. It is what i did in the marriage. I am asking now in the name of Jesus for the favor of God. Once more I am asking for the goodness and grace of God, I am asking for His love and mercy, His compassion. He is near to the broken heart-ed, of which Lord I am one. I ask this according to your word.......to the glory of God and to the tearing down of every strong hold. Blessings and peace sister. Thank you again.
Psalm 34:18New Living Translation (NLT)
18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted;
he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.
What a beautiful person you are in Christ. Brought tears to my eyes and touched my heart.
Lord Jesus be with this woman and guide her and be with her each day. Protect her and encourage her. Give her peace and comfortable. As a woman we enter into marriage for life never wanting it to end in divorce. Sister I know the pain you are suffering. I have been there.
Once when I was sleeping I had a dream. In the dream the Lord Jesus said to me, "Read Joseph. Read Joseph." When I woke I read about Joseph in the first book of His Word chapter 37. I read it now again and again. Learning something new each time. Joseph's life did not turn for the better for years after the visions the Lord Jesus gave him. His brother's wanted him dead. Later his Master's wife falsely accused him of attacking her. He spent two years in prison for that. The butler and the butcher thrown in prison with him he interpreted their dreams. When the baker was released he was to tell the King of Joseph. However, Joseph still stayed in prison. Even in prison the Lord was with Joseph. Later Joseph was released from prison to tell the King what his dreams meant. The King put Joseph in charge. Later his very brothers came seeking food not knowing their brother Joseph who they had sold for 20 pieces of silver. Joseph took them in and feed them.
He forgave them. This took 13 years of his life. It did not happen overnight. There was much suffering on Joseph's part. In the end Joseph was better in his later days than his first. You too will have better in your latter days than in your first.
 
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