DIVORCE in the body of Christ

[Presbyterian Continuist]

Without a doubt the most common sense answer.

From my reading and study, as long you PROVIDE a bill of divorcement it is enough- the jews had a habit of slinging the partner out without one - hence causing adultery. This makes more sense to me.

If the scripture really mean't all divorce was sin - we might as well, take our medicine - repent and move on.

No big deal.

Who wants to remain in a marriage that is clearly going nowhere. Life is too short to be a martyr.

Besides, if the get out clause is commit FORNICATION, that looks like an even bigger step to me.

No I am starting to believe when you read that passage that Jesus is saying, "whoever divorces his wife(without providing documentation to the contrary) - THEN blah blah blah.

Any thoughts...

Any teaching that imposes rules, including rules around divorce and remarriage, on believers, is false doctrine. This is because setting rules for Christian living is denying that we are saved and kept by the grace of God. We know that salvation is through faith and is a gift of God, but holiness is also through faith and grace and is also a gift of God.

You can't have it both ways. Either you trust completely in the grace of God and are dependent on Jesus, or you are setting rules for yourself and others in order to live a successful Christian life.

One leads to life and peace, the other leads to self righteousness and condemnation.

You choose...

 

[K2K]

Any teaching that imposes rules, including rules around divorce and remarriage, on believers, is false doctrine. This is because setting rules for Christian living is denying that we are saved and kept by the grace of God. We know that salvation is through faith and is a gift of God, but holiness is also through faith and grace and is also a gift of God.

You can't have it both ways. Either you trust completely in the grace of God and are dependent on Jesus, or you are setting rules for yourself and others in order to live a successful Christian life.

One leads to life and peace, the other leads to self righteousness and condemnation.

You choose...

I really like the above post, yet explaining that we are 'to trust completely in the grace of God and be dependent on Jesus' does not quite explain what that means.

In the post attached to the above post the person stated that based upon his study he felt a certain way. Knowing God is not the same as studying about God. Jesus Christ is a person and so we hear from Him like anyother person with one exception. God is spirit, so we hear the words He speaks to us with our spiritual ears and not via sound waves.

At the church I attend, the pastor is currently doing a series on marraige. He says 'don't do this' but rather 'do this', and mentions something about Jesus Christ, but He has not once during this series just told people with marraige problems to ask the Lord for what they need to do.

There is one rule that we who live by faith need to have in our lives. We need to turn and get his advice for all the problems in our life. He may tell you to check out a place in your Bible, and then go over it with you, but reading and studying the Bible is not the same thing as actually hearing the Lord talk to you.

Living by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God means hearing from the Great I Am regularly, everyday!!

If you are listening to Him, can you harden your heart and Him not point it out to you. If both parties in a marraige are actually listening to Him daily can there be a divorce? But if you have divorced your spiritual partner (Jesus Christ) havn't you harden your heart?

The problems our society has with divorce is directly to the fact that we as a group are not turning to the Lord for advice and actually hearing what He has to say. Someone might say that it is because we don't study the Bible, but a legalistic person might by their determination might keep there marraige together, but even then the love is gone.

I was going through a divorce when the Lord came into my life. It was not enough to save that marraige, because she didn't know Him. But now I know the Lord, and He found me a wife that knows Him too. We tell each other how much we love them a number of times everyday, and we mean it. And that is because Love (God) is in our life.

I wish I knew back then who I know now. Knowing Him makes all the difference!! And when I say knowing Him, I mean just that!! We walk together, and talk together, and He is indeed the Wonderful Counselor. I wish everyone knew Him.

 

[now faith]

Oscar: it is so good to hear this statement of faith. As children of god we should know the law is written in our hearts. It is rare for most to believe this even if they are not steeped in legalism, most will use the law as a safety net. Most people cannot understand this enough to step out and receive this gift without fear of condemnation from their piers.

 

[now faith]

How many times does Romans chapter8 have to be quoted before it is understood ??

 

[Svt4Him]

Any teaching that imposes rules, including rules around divorce and remarriage, on believers, is false doctrine. This is because setting rules for Christian living is denying that we are saved and kept by the grace of God. We know that salvation is through faith and is a gift of God, but holiness is also through faith and grace and is also a gift of God.

You can't have it both ways. Either you trust completely in the grace of God and are dependent on Jesus, or you are setting rules for yourself and others in order to live a successful Christian life.

One leads to life and peace, the other leads to self righteousness and condemnation.

You choose...

Yet Jesus condemned those who were lawless. Not only that, but we're commanded to be Holy as God is Holy, so I don't think we can simply look at it as a gift. Perhaps a different thread though.

 

[K2K]

Yet Jesus condemned those who were lawless. Not only that, but we're commanded to be Holy as God is Holy, so I don't think we can simply look at it as a gift. Perhaps a different thread though.

The law came from God. It is part of His personality. So the way to fulfill the law is to listen to Him and do what He says. He can not break the law because it is part of His personality, which is love. Yet we are evil so can not fulfill the law by leaning on our understanding. That why it was written that the law is fulfill through Jesus Christ.

This is what Oscarr was saying and what Christianity is about!!!

The Lord first brought the people to the mountain to speak to them, and what He first spoke was the Law, but the people didn't want to listen to Him!! It is important to understand that not wanting to listen to Him is our problem.

So the Lord wrote the law on stones to signify that what He said was not going to go away. Still the people were not going to be able to keep the law, and He knew it, so a testimony was given to the people explaining to them that they were surely going to perish because they did not listen to Him.

Deut 8:18-19... I testify against you today that you will surely perish. Litde the nations that the Lord make to perish; because you would not listen to the voice of the Lord your God.

The legalistic person tries to fulfill the law by their own efforts and thinking, because like those other of God's people in the dersert, they did not want to listen to the voice of the Lord their God.

There is nothing new under the sun. There are still many of God's people (those going to chruch and studying their Bible) that do not want to listen to the voice of the Lord their God.

To them, preaching the Word of God means preaching the Bible not telling people about the personal relationship that we can have with the Lord.

They are like Saul who held the coats of those stoning (throwing the Law) someone that knows the Lord personally. So those Sauls (those that are devote students of the Scritputures but have not yet hear the voice of the Lord) need to have that Damacus road experience, and become a Paul.

To Saul, the Scriptures were the very Word of God. To Paul, Jesus was the very Word of God to him. Saul was going to perish and did spiritual speaking, and became Paul, a new man in Christ.

Paul preach Jesus Christ and Him crucified (we kill the Word of God when we don't listen to HIm). Saul preach salvations through the study of the Scritpures.

The Jews had the Scriptures and thus the Law, but did not come to know the Lord because they refused to listen to Him way back in the desert. People are people, and there are many Christians that are doing and have done that same thing, to the disgrase of themselves and God.

But their is good news. And the good news is that our sins our forgiven so that we can now boldly enter into the holy place where we too can hear the Lord. We find that place within us. This too was fortold.

Deut. 30:1-2 So it shallbe when all of these things have come upon you, the blessing and the curse which I have set before you, and you call them to mind in all nations where the Lord your God has banished you, and you return to the Lord your God and obey Him with all your heart and soul according to all that I command you today, you and your sons, then the Lord your God will restore you...

"OBEY HIM" - Obeying Him does not mean that you read the Bible and tried to apply it in your life, because He is the Great I AM, so is always with you. Obeying Him means listening to what He has to say to you though out today and everyday: It is a walk with Him, A relationship with Him, A life lived with Him who you know as a friend and your Lord who is God.

This surely is what Oscarr is trying to explain, and this is what Christianity is all about. It's about knowing your Lord, and that is what His book, the Bible, is telling you.

When a person that knows the Lord tells you that you need a personal relationship with the Lord, they mean exactly that. When a person that knows the Lord tells you we are not following the Law but the Lord, they understand that following the Law will not save you because you can not fulfill the Law by your efforts, so you must follow the Lord Jesus Christ as the Word of God (who did fulfill the Law) via the Spirit of God. You must be obeying His voice, and His voice is a small voice you can pick up within you, and not the words printed on the pages of His book which He will also have you read because He is the Teacher, but not the book.

Now that is a very long version written because some just do not what to seek to hear what God has to say to them.


Ps- remember to test the spirits, because God is not the only spirit, but don't the fact that other spirits our out there discourage you from seeking the Lord Jesus Christ with all your heart.

 

[morsepam619]

I am currently separated and I asssure you this was the last thing I wanted my husband and I both are spirit filled christians who love and are bible believer's My husband on the other hand did not take the values seriously and gave up after 4 mos when it got hard that the only thing I know of I prayed I annointed the home in oil but I stil left he wrote a note and left in an area that I would see said we married to fast and yes we did that I agree but I had no ill will or intention at all. and that his heart still belonged to another. so I left and I told him he needs to get counseling cause I sure do and will he shook his head at me he doesnt think he needs help. I know I do. and Im getting it but Im still healing

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

Yet Jesus condemned those who were lawless. Not only that, but we're commanded to be Holy as God is Holy, so I don't think we can simply look at it as a gift. Perhaps a different thread though.

It depends on what side of the theological fence you are in terms of whether we are able to make decisions on our own concerning holiness, or whether we are totally helpless (ie: Arminianism/Calvinism). Actually God is not as worried as some of us are over these doctrinal distinctions. He has blessed and used people who hold either theology.

Those who love Jesus have a new heart. This new heart hungers after holiness. But we have this sin nature that trips us up and hinders us much of the time. Paul says that we must keep our bodies under subjection, so there is a part we have to play in order to maintain our walk with the Lord, and to do this, we follow the prompting of the Holy Spirit within us, rather than be in bondage to another human being. But in saying that, if someone you look up to and respect makes you aware of a moral issue that needs to be put right, then the Holy Spirit will confirm that if it comes from God.

If we didn't have a sinful nature, and were able to follow our new hearts; and were able to hear God's voice clearly all the time, Christians would get married to the right partners and would achieve successful marriages. Sadly, this is not the case, and divorce happens, and it is a matter of after falling down, both partners need to get up again and find out God's will for their respective lives even if they cannot be reconciled.

The worst that can happen is divorced people being treated with judgmentalism and legalism, instead of allowing the kindness of God forgive and heal them. Jesus is in the business of saving sinners, divorced people included. Legalism and judgmentalism drives people away from Jesus, but showing them the love of Jesus, draws them to Him where He can forgive, heal, and guide them in His paths of righteousness.

We need to remember: divorce is not the unforgiveable sin.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

I am currently separated and I asssure you this was the last thing I wanted my husband and I both are spirit filled christians who love and are bible believer's My husband on the other hand did not take the values seriously and gave up after 4 mos when it got hard that the only thing I know of I prayed I annointed the home in oil but I stil left he wrote a note and left in an area that I would see said we married to fast and yes we did that I agree but I had no ill will or intention at all. and that his heart still belonged to another. so I left and I told him he needs to get counseling cause I sure do and will he shook his head at me he doesnt think he needs help. I know I do. and Im getting it but Im still healing

Separation and divorce is certainly the very last thing that any Christian wants. It hurts when married partners split up because it is like cutting out a part of your heart, and that hurts! My previous post shows that we don't live in a perfect world, and when my first wife left me, even though I did all I could to keep my marriage together, when I saw her mothers car's, with her in it, going away down the road and I knew that I wasn't going to see her or my four and a half year old daughter again for a long time, Jesus came and stood beside me, put His arm around my shoulder, and said "I am your refuge and strength, and a very present help in your time of trouble." I told Him that this was now my big test to see if I was a real Christian or not, because now I was sailing into uncharted territory with lots of minefields, and I knew I had to be totally dependent on Him.

That was 1981. Jesus got me through my seven storm and stress years, and now I have been remarried for 20 years, and He is still with me and blessing me, so it shows that He is not too worried about my remarriage. And I have a really good relationship with my daughter, now aged 36.

The Lord restored all that I lost through the breakup of my first marriage, in that He gave me a new wife and another daughter, and 21 years of happiness.

So, I respond to anyone trying to be judgmental at me by offering to cast out that condemning legalistic spirit that is holding them in bondage to performance-based religion, instead of true Christianity which is totally founded on the mercy and grace of God through the work of Jesus on the Cross for us.

 

[JimB]

Separation and divorce is certainly the very last thing that any Christian wants. It hurts when married partners split up because it is like cutting out a part of your heart, and that hurts! My previous post shows that we don't live in a perfect world, and when my first wife left me, even though I did all I could to keep my marriage together, when I saw her mothers car's, with her in it, going away down the road and I knew that I wasn't going to see her or my four and a half year old daughter again for a long time, Jesus came and stood beside me, put His arm around my shoulder, and said "I am your refuge and strength, and a very present help in your time of trouble." I told Him that this was now my big test to see if I was a real Christian or not, because now I was sailing into uncharted territory with lots of minefields, and I knew I had to be totally dependent on Him.

That was 1981. Jesus got me through my seven storm and stress years, and now I have been remarried for 20 years, and He is still with me and blessing me, so it shows that He is not too worried about my remarriage. And I have a really good relationship with my daughter, now aged 36.

The Lord restored all that I lost through the breakup of my first marriage, in that He gave me a new wife and another daughter, and 21 years of happiness.

So, I respond to anyone trying to be judgmental at me by offering to cast out that condemning legalistic spirit that is holding them in bondage to performance-based religion, instead of true Christianity which is totally founded on the mercy and grace of God through the work of Jesus on the Cross for us.

.

 

[morsepam619]

I believe you are correct about this thats why I was so distraught over breakup of my marriage. I waited a long time for this and now look what a mess. I believe in marriage and I was married before have had grown children and grandchildren but this was going to be the one I grew old with. I guess that dream is shattered and my trust will be solely on the Lord.

The teaching on divorce in the Church has been the same for 2000 years going back to people who actually spoke Greek and clearly knew the meaning of the words in the New Testament.

This only changed in protestant churches in the last half century or so and it changed not because of better understanding of scripture but because of giving in to the pressures of the culture and the unwillingness of Christians to actually obey Jesus.

Regarding the greek vocabulary and divorce...

Matthew 5:31-32 (KJV)


It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away (GR: Apoluo) his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement (GRL Apostasion): But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away (GR: Apoluo) his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced (GR: Apoluo) committeth adultery.

Same verses in differing translations...

(NIV)
It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.' But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.

(ESV)
It was also said, 'Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.'
But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

First note... as you can see pretty much every translation agrees that "putting away" is synonymous with divorce. This is because its obvious in the greek text that the terms are all used to refer to the same thing and Apostasion clearly identifies it as a divorce.

Second note, if you were paying attention to the text, you would know that Jewish law forbid "putting away" a wife WITHOUT giving her a bill of divorce! This is precisely why God was angry with the Israelites in the Old Testament who did this. They were breaking the law. Thus the assumption of all law abiding Jews was that to put away (apoluo) a wife was synonymous with divorcing a wife (apostasion) which is exactly what the text says.

In Matthew Jesus only addresses the woman and says that she commits adultery if she remarries (as does the man who marries her)

However in Luke 16:18 Jesus makes clear that this applies to both the man and the woman.

(ESV)
""Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery."

The issue is again re-iterated in Mark 10:2-12

In this particular passage the Pharisees test Jesus. The passage again outlines that under the Law of Moses to put away a wife REQUIRED a writ of divorce. The two are synonymous.
It was not legal or allowed by God to "seperate" without divorce.

Jesus again makes clear that those who divorce commit adultery if they remarry.

The argument has been presented that the greek "apoluo" is different than the greek "lusin" used in 1st Corinthians and that "lusin" refers to divorce, while "apoluo" only refers to seperation without divorce. While this idea is simply not possible under Jewish law as has been shown.. it is also not a valid argument based on the greek.

Apoluo and Lusin have fundamentally the same meaning. They, in fact, come from the same root.

Lusin is a noun meaning "a loosing" or "a setting free"


Apoluo is verb formed from a compound of "apo" meaning away and "luo" meaning "to loose", "to set free" "to let go" etc.

Apoluo is simply the verb form of Lusin. They mean the exact same thing, only one names the event and the other is the action of the event.

The argument about divorce vs seperation is further destroyed earlier in 1st Corinthians chapter 7 when Paul speaks about the issue of divorce between believers and unbelievers. He outright says if the unbeliever seperates and departs, that the believer is not bound. The text is NOT distinguishing between seperation and divorce. It is using the terms synonymously.

The "Pauline" exception given in 1st Corinthians chapter 7 regarding an unbeliever divorcing a believer is the ONLY circumstance in which a Christian is permitted to remarry after a divorce.

The reason for this, which Jesus outlined, is that when believers are married there is a covenental, sacramental bond created by God and that is not disolved by getting a divorce under human law. That sacramental, covenant bond still exists and that is why any believer who divorces and remarries commits adultery. Because in God's eyes they are still bonded to their original spouse.

Paul gives the exception to this because God only creates this covenant, sacramental bond when both parties (husband and wife) enter into the marriage with the intent of actually being joined in that bond.
Thus if one person is an unbeliever, they did not have the intent to enter into that bond and thus the marriage can be disolved by divorce.


Why do you think, when Jesus gave his teaching on divorce, all his disciples said "this is incredibly hard! if this is true it would be better never to get married!"
They didn't say that because Jesus told them they can't just seperate and then pick up a new girl, but they have to actually get a divorce... that was already required by the Law of Moses and they had no problem with that.
what they were shocked and dismayed by was that Jesus essentially told them there is no divorce. Even if you justly seperate (for adultery), you are not divorced because you can not remarry.


In modern terms, the problem is not seperation or even disolving the legal ties... it is the idea that you can remarry at your discretion.


Addendum...

I wanted to add this note. Given the abysmal understanding of marriage in most of the evangelical churches today, it is entirely possible that there are many married christians who got married with no intention of having a real sacramental covenant relationship as Jesus describes. As a result, there are probably more than a few christians whose marriages would fall under the exception catagory described by Paul.. not because they are not believers, but because they never had the intent to enter into a true sacramental marriage covenant.

 

[morsepam619]

He was more concerned about his music and "serving god" then our marriage actually though he has been extremely oppressed by his parents and seeks approval from mom and dad on everything if they dont like something even on the outside doesnt agree but on inside whole different ballgame everything revolved around his family

My case is similar - my wife has decided to put the shutters up for whatever reason and then claims to have been "neglected" or "abandoned" - you can't have it both ways - if you are not willing to sit down, talk, seek counselling sensibly, their is not much the other party can do.

 

[morsepam619]

and refuses to take responsibility he sees everything as a critizism of put down when its not

 

[mrhappy3]

Nice one Oscarr.

 

[Svt4Him]

I don't always think divorce is a result of a person's sin, but that was not what I was refering to, I was addressing the belief that any rule is simply legalism. That is not Biblical, as Jesus rebuked those who think they are free to break any laws, or lawless people.

It depends on what side of the theological fence you are in terms of whether we are able to make decisions on our own concerning holiness, or whether we are totally helpless (ie: Arminianism/Calvinism). Actually God is not as worried as some of us are over these doctrinal distinctions. He has blessed and used people who hold either theology.

Those who love Jesus have a new heart. This new heart hungers after holiness. But we have this sin nature that trips us up and hinders us much of the time. Paul says that we must keep our bodies under subjection, so there is a part we have to play in order to maintain our walk with the Lord, and to do this, we follow the prompting of the Holy Spirit within us, rather than be in bondage to another human being. But in saying that, if someone you look up to and respect makes you aware of a moral issue that needs to be put right, then the Holy Spirit will confirm that if it comes from God.

If we didn't have a sinful nature, and were able to follow our new hearts; and were able to hear God's voice clearly all the time, Christians would get married to the right partners and would achieve successful marriages. Sadly, this is not the case, and divorce happens, and it is a matter of after falling down, both partners need to get up again and find out God's will for their respective lives even if they cannot be reconciled.

The worst that can happen is divorced people being treated with judgmentalism and legalism, instead of allowing the kindness of God forgive and heal them. Jesus is in the business of saving sinners, divorced people included. Legalism and judgmentalism drives people away from Jesus, but showing them the love of Jesus, draws them to Him where He can forgive, heal, and guide them in His paths of righteousness.

We need to remember: divorce is not the unforgiveable sin.

 

[Svt4Him]

oops

 

[Svt4Him]

quoted with permission www.divorcehope.com

“Now the Spirit [of God] expressly says that in latter times [the days we live in now] some will DEPART FROM THE FAITH, giving heed to deceiving spirits and doctrines of demons, speaking lies ...FORBIDDING TO MARRY…” (1Timothy 4:1,3).

“Forbidding [someone] to marry” after they have been divorced is a doctrine of the devil. The Bible is not saying that these people who hold to this belief are not true Christians, but that they teach out of ignorance — they don't understand God's heart in the Scriptures. Understanding God's heart only comes from the Holy Spirit revealing Him to us. Whenever we do not understand God's heart in the Scriptures, we have departed from sound doctrine.

This Scripture could not be talking about forbidding to marry in general. Nobody would listen to such nonsense preached. The desire that God put in man to have a companion and sexual partner is too great, especially if they were married before. In order that we don’t fall into “...sexual immorality, let EACH MAN have his own wife, and let EACH WOMAN have her own husband” (1Corinthians 7:2). “[For] IT IS NOT GOOD THAT MAN SHOULD BE ALONE…” (Genesis 2:18a).

The erroneous doctrine of forbidding one to marry after a divorce has been preached and taught in many churches. It has violated the conscience and hearts of those who’ve been divorced, driving them into a constant state of confusion and negatively impacting their lives. The only way for these people to come out of that confused state is to leave the church, and many have done just that. Not only do they leave the church to remarry, they also need to be able to make the right decision to divorce when it’s necessary in order to save themselves and their families before all is destroyed.

In order to understand that there IS marriage after divorce, we will examine the Scriptures in Matthew 19:3-12 focusing on the usage of the Greek word, apoluo. The Greek word apoluo that’s translated “divorce” or “to put away” is a general word. Its primary usage is: to “send” (apoluo) someone home when it’s getting late.11 When two people are leaving each other there is a “separation.” Apoluo is a separation in general, which does not involve the “legal” aspect of a permanent separation like a divorce. The common usage is seen in the Scripture “When it was evening, His disciples came to Him, saying ‘This is a deserted place, and the hour is already late. SEND (apoluo) the multitudes away, that they may go unto the villages and buy themselves food’” (Matthew 14:15). The Greek word apoluo doesn’t have a legal aspect to it. It’s just a common word that means, “I’m going to go” or, “away from, to separate.” Because of our wrong beliefs about divorce, this key word was purposely translated (incorrectly) so it would not conflict with our beliefs.

When used concerning a marriage it means a separation and NOT a divorce. If a spouse separates intending never to return, then the next step comes into play; the spouse obtains a “certificate of divorce.” This is what the confrontation between Jesus and the Pharisees (the religious lawyers of His day) was about in Matthew 19:3-12. The legal question was, “Do you just separate, OR do you separate AND give a certificate of divorce?” The Greek word used for divorce in these Scriptures means, to “send away” or separate from, NOT a finalized legal divorce.

The lawyers of God’s law tested Jesus. Their motive was to justify when they only separated from their wives and remarried without ever getting a divorce. They asked Him if God accepts a separation to get remarried without a divorce certificate for just any reason. Jesus responded that when a male and female come together in a marriage union, “...they are no longer two BUT ONE…” (Matthew 19:6a). Because the couple is still united, He doesn’t want “man” (the marriage partners) to just separate from each other and get remarried without a divorce. A SEPARATION ALONE DOES NOT BREAK THE MARRIAGE UNION. IT TAKES A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE, ALSO. So the question was NOT, “Can a spouse DIVORCE their mate for any reason,” but “Can a spouse get a SEPARATION from their mate for any reason and then remarry while just separated.”

When a husband just leaves his wife for another woman without ever giving her a certificate of divorce, this keeps the wife in limbo. She could not go back to her husband because he doesn’t want her; and she couldn’t “go and become another man’s wife” as Moses commanded because she is not legally divorced (See Deuteronomy 24:1-2). If she did remarry without a legal divorce, she and the man who married her would be committing adultery. This is why Jesus said, “...whoever separates (apoluo) from his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is [just] separated (apoluo) commits adultery” (Matthew 19:9 My Translation).
Because the Pharisees’ hearts were so hard “They said to Him [Jesus], ‘WHY then did Moses COMMAND to give a certificate of divorce AND to put her away [separate]?’” (Matthew 19:7). They agreed with the part of the law that said that you could leave your wife, but they didn’t understand that it was not right to keep their wives from getting remarried. A spouse with a hardened heart will not give the other spouse a divorce. They will want to control the person. A person who truly loves unconditionally will always give you a way out: an option not to love.
So it is with God; He always gives us the choice to not love Him. As we choose to love Him, it’s true love. At times the reason a marriage isn’t a truly unconditional loving marriage is because the partners feel that there is never a way out, if needed. If the marriage partners knew that there was a godly way to escape from a failing marriage it would give the couple the freedom to “choose to love,” even when it’s not convenient.

Jesus said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, PERMITTED you to divorce [separate from] your wives, but from the beginning IT [being separated without a divorce] WAS NOT SO” (Matthew 19:8). Notice in verse seven that Moses COMMANDED them to give a certificate of divorce AND to separate (put away) their wives. But in verse eight, because their hearts were so hardened against their spouse, Moses PERMITTED them to just separate without the husband giving the wife a certificate of divorce. The reason Moses commanded that a certificate of divorce be given was to guarantee that the wife could get remarried. Simply, Moses commanded to give a certificate of divorce AND to separate. But because of the hardness of their hearts, Moses permitted them to separate only. The permission to separate and remarry without a divorce was limited to sexual immorality. If the wife was unfaithful, the husband could leave without ever being “officially divorced” — by giving her a certificate of divorcement, and go take another woman as his wife. But if there was no sexual immorality involved, the husband could NOT separate from his wife without getting a divorce first. If he didn’t get a divorce and went to live with another woman or got remarried, they were committing adultery.

“Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed [for selfish reasons]. Are you loosed [divorced] from a wife? [In my opinion says Paul, the Apostle] do not seek a wife. BUT EVEN IF YOU DO MARRY, YOU HAVE NOT SINNED; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned” (1Corinthians 7:26-28a). Notice that the “virgin” AND the person “loosed [divorced]” are both put in the same category — they have “not sinned” by getting married. BOTH THE PERSON WHO WAS NEVER MARRIED AND THE PERSON WHO WAS DIVORCED ARE WITHOUT SIN IF THEY MARRY.

Deuteronomy 24:1-4 tells of a situation where a man married a woman and then divorced her. This woman then married another man. The Scriptures go on to state that if the second marriage ends by her husband writing “...her a certificate of divorce ...OR if the latter husband dies…” (Deuteronomy 24:3,4), she could not remarry the first man she divorced because she had already married someone else. Therefore, if our spouse dies, or if we were divorced, we can get married again. Divorce and death are equal before God. The only stipulation in this Scripture is that if this is the second marriage, we cannot go back to the first spouse and remarry them because we married someone else after we divorced them.

The Hebrew word: shalach is the equivalent of the Greek word: apoluo.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

I believe you are correct about this thats why I was so distraught over breakup of my marriage. I waited a long time for this and now look what a mess. I believe in marriage and I was married before have had grown children and grandchildren but this was going to be the one I grew old with. I guess that dream is shattered and my trust will be solely on the Lord.

How would you feel if your pastor counselled you and made you aware of the Scriptures that Simon Templar has given? Would you feel that you were being drawn to a loving and kind God and a wonderful Saviour?

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

He was more concerned about his music and "serving god" then our marriage actually though he has been extremely oppressed by his parents and seeks approval from mom and dad on everything if they dont like something even on the outside doesnt agree but on inside whole different ballgame everything revolved around his family

This seems to have the characteristics of "religious addiction", and has the same behaviour elements as any chemical addiction. His addiction could have come out of his need to establish some type of self esteem and accomplishment. But he has turned to religion instead of Christ. If his faith really was in Christ, he would have seen that his family are very precious and his role to make you feel loved and cared for at all times.

The treatment for religious addiction is basically the same as for any other addiction, but first, there has to be an acceptance of it before anything else can happen.

One of the characteristics is that he feels like a failure, that he has to have the approval of mum and dad, so what does he do? He reinforces his sense of failure by continuing to be in bondage to his parents and to further seek their approval. That way, he validates his sense of failure.

So, he feels that he has failed at marriage. In the same way, he validates his sense of failure by continuing to be a failure at marriage, but he is seeking to be a success at religion because his Christian service and music makes him feel good. In essence, he is trying to win the approval of God, instead of trusting and resting in Christ. But eventually, those will cease to satisfy him as well and will then give him a further sense of failure.

Ultimately, he will sense that he is a failure to God, as well as to his wife and family, as well a failure to his parents. This may, unless there is effective intervention to bring him to Christ, cause him to walk away from God and the church altogether and live the rest of his life in complete despair and depression.

So, this might give you direction in your prayers for him. He needs to have a revelation of what the Gospel really is, and that he needs to be fully introduced to Christ in a personal relationship with Him.

 

[morsepam619]

[bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] you have pegged him to a tee He is a chemical addiction actually to pain killers due to herniated disc hes got a lot of health issues not just back, he has just been diagnoses Diabetes II coronary artery disese and instead of wanting to be healed he wants the SSI that really shocked me. man oh man is that a prophecy or what wow ow wow I have told him that very thing but he still thinks hes serving the Lord and for you telling me this would be contrued as gossip by him