Divorce and RE-marriage

Common Sense

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Wood man, I understand what your saying but Chris was a very fortunite man to have all this revealed while he still had his life ahead of him. More than likely Amanda saw the error of her way when she found herself growing old with material things falling away and being all she has. Her second husband has found her out for what she is and left her a lonley old woman. Chris has found love and happiness and is surrounded by it, Amanda being long forgotten.
 
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98cwitr

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There are marriages...I believe...where God had not joined the two (Matthew 19:6). If God has joined, then it's meant to be and man should not separate. Why re-marry though is my question? Was it the Lord's doing or his own?

1 Corinthians 7:33-34
New International Version (NIV)
33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34 and his interests are divided.


Matthew 19

10 The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”

...

The one who can accept this should accept it.

So why get married?

I say that...being in an almost 3 year, committed relationship with a woman...we'll see :) I've learned not to go looking for it, and the Lord's Will will guide you.
 
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Common Sense

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I understand that Paul being 100% dedicated to bringing the Gentiles to a saving knowledge of the Lord would say it's best not to marry but if you can't do that it's better to marry than to burn, meaning burn in desire which will lead to worse things as you can imagin.
Being a leading member in a group tha reqitred it's members to be married I believe Paul had been married earlier in life but have no idea what happened to his wife. I can't agree with living with a person and not being married because the Bible is pretty clear about that but also I can't say I believe it will cause you to miss Heaven because I don't believe that. I do believe it's better to be married and have a help mate, as it was intended, is probably the only way the average man or woman can live a happy life. To burn in lust for the flesh for the opposite sex can only lead to sin that we know God frowns upon.
 
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loveabounds

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I was chating with a friend and the conversation came up about at least 50% of all marriages end in divorce and about 70% of second marriages. She said she had never considered Divorce but she had thought about murder, pretty funny. If only we would take the Bible serious about marriage and set emotions aside we wouldn't see many Divorces. But I believe we all know how powerful emotions are when we are in "LOVE."

I agree with you, Common Sense. Love isn't an emotion....it's a decision. If we look at the definition of love in 1 Corinthians 13, love never mentions an emotion. It's all about actions on one's part.

I think that people need to understand that the "butterflies in the stomach", "warm fuzzy feeling" one gets when they are in love, only lasts two years. When it's gone, people think they are not "in love" with their spouse and leave, trying to regain that feeling/emotion.

If we adhere to love as described in Scripture, and place our spouses well being above our own, there would be no lying....it would cause distrust and hurt to our spouse, there would be no adultry...it would cause the same., etc., etc., etc. and marriages would last. Not only would they last, they would be healthy relationships.
 
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SoulBap6

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Loveabounds : I have heard a preacher say it is a covenant rather than a Contract. I had never heard that before, I guess i really did not understand Contract and Covenant. So I went to good old dictionary to look up the difference.

Contract:
1. a: a binding agreement between two or more persons or parties; especially: one legally enforceable b: a business arrangement for the supply of goods or services at a fixed price <make parts on contract> c: the act of marriage or an agreement to marry

2. Covenant a usually formal, solemn, and binding agreement : compact
a: a written agreement or promise usually under seal between two or more parties especially for the performance of some action b: the common-law action to recover damages for breach of such a contract

By Merrian webster standards it reads about the same to me.
The biggest problem I see that to many people don't read the contract, or understand the terms and if they do they just don't care.

Where it really gets good is when you have people interpreting the Bible as to the Standards of who can or can't be in Ministry. I just met with my Pastor today. I took him out to lunch. to discuss ordination, I had a real eye opener, he told me because you were married before you could not be a pastor, and as he explained I could not be a Deacon either.

I explained I was not saved during the time I had been Married and divorced, he explained that even though I was saved now and called to preach and have done so for the last ten years. I was still not eligible, to be a Pastor. As Far as the church is concerned I was not eligible to be ordained, since in my ministry that I was not shepharding a Church. On the contrary I preach every sunday and teach a Bible study, and have led souls to christ. I have a little congregation at the rescue mission.

I was told by the Sheriffs department they needed a Chaplain, since I am a Chaplain with the Vienam Veterans of America, would I be interested in being a Police Chaplain. The very first question on the qualification form is are you a Ordained ?

So while I was talking to my Pastor I showed him the Paper and told him this was what my problem is he told me he would call the coordinator and tell this coordinator that I was more than qualified for this position then again i tried to explain, as it tells in 1st Timothy Chapter 3 qualifications and the same applies to this position with the sheriffs department Religious section.

Finally after lunch I went home as I though of all that was said, i realized that this church no matter what I will never be ordained as much as I love the Pastor and the people. I will still do the Ministry God has given me to do, I do not want change churches, I have been in this church since I was saved, but I feel like I need to do something, for now I will leave it in Gods Hands and pray for guidance.

What are your thoughts on this matter? I am very confused and puzzled?
 
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loveabounds

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Loveabounds : I have heard a preacher say it is a covenant rather than a Contract. I had never heard that before, I guess i really did not understand Contract and Covenant. So I went to good old dictionary to look up the difference.

Contract:
1. a: a binding agreement between two or more persons or parties; especially: one legally enforceable b: a business arrangement for the supply of goods or services at a fixed price <make parts on contract> c: the act of marriage or an agreement to marry

2. Covenant a usually formal, solemn, and binding agreement : compact
a: a written agreement or promise usually under seal between two or more parties especially for the performance of some action b: the common-law action to recover damages for breach of such a contract

By Merrian webster standards it reads about the same to me.
The biggest problem I see that to many people don't read the contract, or understand the terms and if they do they just don't care.

Where it really gets good is when you have people interpreting the Bible as to the Standards of who can or can't be in Ministry. I just met with my Pastor today. I took him out to lunch. to discuss ordination, I had a real eye opener, he told me because you were married before you could not be a pastor, and as he explained I could not be a Deacon either.

I explained I was not saved during the time I had been Married and divorced, he explained that even though I was saved now and called to preach and have done so for the last ten years. I was still not eligible, to be a Pastor. As Far as the church is concerned I was not eligible to be ordained, since in my ministry that I was not shepharding a Church. On the contrary I preach every sunday and teach a Bible study, and have led souls to christ. I have a little congregation at the rescue mission.

I was told by the Sheriffs department they needed a Chaplain, since I am a Chaplain with the Vienam Veterans of America, would I be interested in being a Police Chaplain. The very first question on the qualification form is are you a Ordained ?

So while I was talking to my Pastor I showed him the Paper and told him this was what my problem is he told me he would call the coordinator and tell this coordinator that I was more than qualified for this position then again i tried to explain, as it tells in 1st Timothy Chapter 3 qualifications and the same applies to this position with the sheriffs department Religious section.

Finally after lunch I went home as I though of all that was said, i realized that this church no matter what I will never be ordained as much as I love the Pastor and the people. I will still do the Ministry God has given me to do, I do not want change churches, I have been in this church since I was saved, but I feel like I need to do something, for now I will leave it in Gods Hands and pray for guidance.

What are your thoughts on this matter? I am very confused and puzzled?

Hi SoulBap,

I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine who is concerned that I am walking this life alone. During that conversation I discussed with her the way our society is. We are a disposable and drive thru society. It's much easier to throw things away that aren't working correctly and by a new one, rather than take the time to care for, tend to and repair what we have. Our society is so fast paced that instead of taking time to prepare a healthy, well balanced meal that nourishes us, replenishes what our bodies need, we frequent drive thru's and settle for food that harms our bodies rather than heals them. Our society treats relationships the same way. Marriage ceremonies have turned into the same thing. They seem to be drive thru's now a days. We don't take time to nourish, tend to, or cultivate the garden of our marriage. They wither away and we just drive thru and pick up another one. A covenant is unbreakable. It's total committment. I wouldn't consider marriage again if it wasn't a covenant.

SoulBap, I can see how passionately you love the Lord and want to serve Him. Your passion is beautiful!! To be truthful, I'm not quite sure how I feel about your situation. On one hand, Scripture does lay the foundation for who should preach, become deacons, etc. On the other, we have to keep things in proper context, historically and otherwise, discerning if that Scripture is meant literally for us today or was it spoken because of the culture at that time.

You are asking us what our opinion is, but what is God telling you, SoulBap? My suggestion is to be in prayer over this situation, ask God to search your heart and remove any temptations you may have for fulfilling your will in your life and then listen as He reveals to you His plan, His will for you.

I do know that it makes me smile to see a man who is so passionate about preaching the word of God.

God bless you, SoulBap! May He give you your heart's desire!
 
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SoulBap6

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I lived like the Devil for many years, and my mother prayed for me for 38 years that her son would be saved. My mother and Father, was present when I preach at the family church, they were sitting there watching me bring the Gospel message. I was so humbled and yet proud that my mother and father could see their Oldest son Preach.

Not long after this my mother passed way, I spoke at her funeral my mother told me to do God work and Gods will, yes I am passionate in preaching Gods word. I at first did not want to preach because of my past, I could not sleep because the Lord was telling me to preach. I preach out of humility because I am not worthy of anything but hell. God in his Love,mercy and grace saved my soul I owe a debt I can't not pay.

Sinner saved by Grace. God let me know what I needed to do so, I went about doing just that by reading the Bible and doing studies on Pastoral classes for three years. and here I am 10 years later still preaching and teaching. I have led many people to Jesus Christ. My Passion is to give back what Christ has given me, a heart for souls and to tell the good News of Jesus Christ Thank you for your kind words, may God be with you.
 
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loveabounds

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Loveabounds
I lived like the Devil for many years, and my mother prayed for me for 38 years that her son would be saved. My mother and Father, was present when I preach at the family church, they were sitting there watching me bring the Gospel message. I was so humbled and yet proud that my mother and father could see their Oldest son Preach.

Not long after this my mother passed way, I spoke at her funeral my mother told me to do God work and Gods will, yes I am passionate in preaching Gods word. I at first did not want to preach because of my past, I could not sleep because the Lord was telling me to preach. I preach out of humility because I am not worthy of anything but hell. God in his Love,mercy and grace saved my soul I owe a debt I can't not pay.

Sinner saved by Grace. God let me know what I needed to do so, I went about doing just that by reading the Bible and doing studies on Pastoral classes for three years. and here I am 10 years later still preaching and teaching. I have led many people to Jesus Christ. My Passion is to give back what Christ has given me, a heart for souls and to tell the good News of Jesus Christ Thank you for your kind words, may God be with you.

SoulBap....I think you have your answer.
 
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Dan61861

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SoulBap
My friend, I am in a similar situation. My wife and I were saved in our mid twenties. Shortly afterward, she walked out on her two children and me. She ran around from one guy to another, twenty-five years later she is still running around. I remarried and have been married for the last twenty years.


I do believe I had the Biblical authority to put my wife away. However, deep down I still have a second wife out there. I wouldn't accept an authority position in a church even if they asked me. I don't believe I qualify to be either a Pastor or a Deacon.


This doesn't mean I can't have a ministry. My own ministry is under the authority of Christ and the Church. A Pastor may preach, yet not all preachers are Pastors. All members of Christ's church are called to preach his word. Not all members are called to be Pastors.


From the sound of things, you are currently under a Christ lead church. You have a ministry that our Lord is blessing you with. I pray that you are placing that ministry under the proper authority. When we begin to sway from the path of Jesus, little by little our doctrine becomes compromised. It is difficult finding our role within the church, however we are called to serve Christ.


I read one remark, if we upheld our Pastors to Biblical standards, most of them wouldn't qualify. I say most of them don't qualify, this is the problem in the church today. For instance, Joel Olsteen is a pastor of a church. He isn't a pastor of Christ's church.


My brother, allow the Holy Spirit to work. Accept the Authority of Christ first, in his authority he has placed a Pastor over you. Within this great body, the body of our Lord and savior God will accomplish great wonders.


In Christ.
Dan
 
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SoulBap6

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My brother, allow the Holy Spirit to work. Accept the Authority of Christ first, in his authority he has placed a Pastor over you. Within this great body, the body of our Lord and savior God will accomplish great wonders.

I was a trusty at are church and nominated are Pastor, please don't take this wrong I love my Pastor, I might not always agree with him I do respect him. As a preacher my authority comes from the Almighty. I have put my trust in the lord and I follow the direction of the Holy Spirit.

I have witnessed Souls being saved an Baptized under the preaching of our Pastor and God has given me the privilege of Preaching and leading souls to Jesus Christ with the power of the Holy spirit. Great and Mighty things is watching God work in saving mens Souls and changing their Lives.

No work is done by myself it is the power of God almighty, all Praise and all Honor is given to are Father who art in Heaven, I am humbled in his sight because I am undone without his shed Blood I have no hope no Sacifice with out the Saviour Jesus Christ and with out his Holy Spirit no man can be saved.

I have seen the power of God and I have felt his Presents. The joy of the Lord is a wonderful place to be, so when someone tells me that ordination is not possible, I think of are saviour as he sent out his Apostles and each one paid the ultimate sacifice for the name of Jesus Christ, He called his Apostles as he called me. Unworthy as I am he saved me and gave me a Mission. I will still preach and teach the Lord Jesus Christ that was man Dated from God no matter what, can I say no to God the creator of everything in the Universe, that includes you and I.
 
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My first wife left me after eight years of marriage because she became depressed after the birth of our child and started believing that our marriage was a mistake. Every effort was made to keep our marriage together, including counselling, but she would never open up to the counsellor. One day she telephoned me and said she was leaving. And that was that.

I thought that my ministry was all washed up, and for a while I lost hope that I could ever minister for the Lord again. I had an effective ministry in Christian discipleship before the marriage broke up.

Then I was invited to speak at a housegroup. I went there, and God moved supernaturally in a way that showed me that He had not finished with me because of someone else's decision. He showed me that he did not blame me at all for what happened, that it was my wife's decision and not mine.

It took me seven years to get over my anger about the marriage breakup, but all the while the Lord encouraged me to stick with Him and continue talking to Him about the issues and conflicts that I was feeling through those "storm and stress years".

Then I met the person who is now my second wife. We have been married happily for 22 years, and God has supported my ministry.

The big argument that I had with Him was after a church elder told me that I could never be married again. I went out by myself and shouted and yelled at God and told Him why should I be punished for someone else's decision. If that was so, I might as well have gone off with some floozie when my marriage got into trouble, because the outcome would have been the same. I expected the big thumb to come down on me because I really let God have it over the seeming unfairness of it all.

But God was patient and kind with me and told me that He dealt with these things on a case by case basis and that I should trust Him for my future. I wasn't always successful at remaining faithful to Him and I got into some scrapes with relationships that God had to bail me out of, and it was only when I finally decided to give up trying to find a new relationship, that I met the person who was to become my present wife.

Some people make strict, hard and fast rules about divorce and remarriage and teach that remarriage after divorce is the unforgiveable sin. This is not of the Holy Spirit because it binds the conscience to a rule that is not clearly defined in Scripture. We know that divorce is not God's will, but neither is sin, sickness and disease, but we don't condemn a person who is sick or disabled. Strict rules about divorce and remarriage are the inventions of man and not the principles set out by the Holy Spirit.

So the way to be set free from the sense of condemnation about divorce and remarriage is to come boldly to the throne of grace and see what the Holy Spirit has to say about your situation. You will find out a whole new area of God's grace and mercy that will set your conscience free and cause you to rejoice in the love of God.

I pray for my ex wife as often as I think about her, because she needs Christ too, and she needs to have her conscience set free so she can do God's will in her life.

 
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Common Sense

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Glad this subject caught hold and went somewhere because I believe it's very important. I am with the same wife of 45 years and we both have probably considered murder a couple times but we fought for our marriage. I'm glad neither of us gave up because it would have cost me several grandchildren and a few great grandchildren, also a wife I love, can trust and depend on who will stand by me as I will her. Our marriage was tried by fire and is now very strong. If you had no cooperation from your spouse and they refused to stay with you, you had no choice. If you were called to a Mnistry by God I don't know of anyone who can over rule that. Ex drug addicts make the best ministers to Drug users, If you have lived thru a bad marriage and are now divorced I believe you can be more help to someone who is going thru the same thing now. In my opinion the law of the land and Gods law go along with each other so far. You only need one wife or one hisband and I believe most of you will agree. Remember we are no longer under the Law. Our's is a personal relationship with our Lord. Stay in the Word and stay close to Him.
 
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