Distinguishing between right and wrong

[Introverted1293]

There are things that I know are wrong, like killing someone or lying. But I have a hard time distinguishing between right and wrong.

Is it right for me to isolate myself from people as long as I don't hurt? I don't know.

Is it right for me to move to this place or that place, even though my parents are against it, because they need help in their old age? I don't know.

Can I be a Christian and not attend church because I am afraid of getting hurt? I don't know.

Should I give a homeless man some money that is standing outside of Walmart holding a sign when people are telling me that he will go and buy drugs? I don't know

Should I allow a homeless man stay at my house, even though he could kill me in my sleep; or would it be wrong for me to deny him a place simply because I don't trust him? I don't know.

These are driving me nuts.

I don't expect you to answer every single question. I just want to know, how do you distinguish between right and wrong when it is not completely obvious?

 

[bcbsr]

There are things that I know are wrong, like killing someone or lying. But I have a hard time distinguishing between right and wrong.

Is it right for me to isolate myself from people as long as I don't hurt? I don't know.

Is it right for me to move to this place or that place, even though my parents are against it, because they need help in their old age? I don't know.

Can I be a Christian and not attend church because I am afraid of getting hurt? I don't know.

Should I give a homeless man some money that is standing outside of Walmart holding a sign when people are telling me that he will go and buy drugs? I don't know

Should I allow a homeless man stay at my house, even though he could kill me in my sleep; or would it be wrong for me to deny him a place simply because I don't trust him? I don't know.

These are driving me nuts.

I don't expect you to answer every single question. I just want to know, how do you distinguish between right and wrong when it is not completely obvious?

"Though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the first principles of the oracles of God; and you have come to need milk and not solid food. For everyone who partakes only of milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, for he is a babe. But solid food belongs to those who are of full age, that is, those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil." Heb 5:12-14

So here we have the idea that such discernment is a function of spiritual maturity and it's related to becoming skilled in the word of righteousness, which I take to be the scriptures, and a function of exercising (putting into practice) one's moral senses. Bottom line - study and apply the scriptures.

 

[eleos1954]

There are things that I know are wrong, like killing someone or lying. But I have a hard time distinguishing between right and wrong.

Is it right for me to isolate myself from people as long as I don't hurt? I don't know.

Is it right for me to move to this place or that place, even though my parents are against it, because they need help in their old age? I don't know.

Can I be a Christian and not attend church because I am afraid of getting hurt? I don't know.

Should I give a homeless man some money that is standing outside of Walmart holding a sign when people are telling me that he will go and buy drugs? I don't know

Should I allow a homeless man stay at my house, even though he could kill me in my sleep; or would it be wrong for me to deny him a place simply because I don't trust him? I don't know.

These are driving me nuts.

The Lord wants you to have a happy heart and He wants you to do things with a happy heart. If you don't feel comfortable in doing something then don't do it. Pray about it and the Lord may or may not change your heart ... in the meantime ... don't worry about them.

Each of us are individuals and have individual personalities and of course the Lord knows that ... he loves you just the way you are. ;o)

Pray for wisdom in making decisions and then wait on the Lord to help you with them and He will .... in His time.

If you choose not to go to church .... study the Bible on your own ... one needs to stay in communication with Him and His Word provides that communication.

God Bless.

 

[Halbhh]

There are things that I know are wrong, like killing someone or lying. But I have a hard time distinguishing between right and wrong.

Is it right for me to isolate myself from people as long as I don't hurt? I don't know.

Is it right for me to move to this place or that place, even though my parents are against it, because they need help in their old age? I don't know.

Can I be a Christian and not attend church because I am afraid of getting hurt? I don't know.

Should I give a homeless man some money that is standing outside of Walmart holding a sign when people are telling me that he will go and buy drugs? I don't know

Should I allow a homeless man stay at my house, even though he could kill me in my sleep; or would it be wrong for me to deny him a place simply because I don't trust him? I don't know.

These are driving me nuts.

I don't expect you to answer every single question. I just want to know, how do you distinguish between right and wrong when it is not completely obvious?

One way is to really apply (take it fully, all the words fully) the exact wording Christ used in
Matthew 7:12 In everything, then, do to others as you would have them do to you. For this is the essence of the Law and the prophets.

So, you imagine yourself in the precise situation that person is in, which has more than 1 piece.

For instance, a person pulled over on the road visibly trying to fix a flat tire themselves could either be:
A) clearly succeeding or
B) clearly having real trouble doing it, or
C) unclear, but still clues in their situation can give an indication of whether they need help (e.g. a young man working quickly likely does not, but a mother with small children likely does).

So I have to see their situation clearly. And when it's not so obvious they already have gotten what they need (e.g. sometimes you can see others have helped them, but sometimes you won't see that), then I can't see much of where they are at precisely except that I really do look at their face. Look to see them, well. See their expression, so that I get some of where they are at, accurately, by looking into their eyes, at their face fully, and then being able to respond more exactly to exactly where they are at.

Now, someone collecting donations doesn't necessarily need you to give them a lot if many people are going to help, for instance. Someone asking for alms in a very public place with many passersby will be relying on small help from many. Someone more isolated on the other hand can sometimes be more like the person lying on the side of the road when the Good Samaritan came by -- there was no one else in sight to help them. It's you or no one then. So, it's very situational.

Someone looking mostly ok, not in clear distress, doesn't need a rescue. Someone in clear distress needs some help.

It's great to carry useful food like substantial granola bars with you when you go downtown. If you not only give one a granola bar, but also give them some love, and if you can earnestly say something like "I'll pray for you" because you are actually going to really do that, or "God bless you" because you really are praying that, this is better than just the bar alone, this combination of aid.

 

[Andrew77]

There are things that I know are wrong, like killing someone or lying. But I have a hard time distinguishing between right and wrong.

Is it right for me to isolate myself from people as long as I don't hurt? I don't know.

Is it right for me to move to this place or that place, even though my parents are against it, because they need help in their old age? I don't know.

Can I be a Christian and not attend church because I am afraid of getting hurt? I don't know.

Should I give a homeless man some money that is standing outside of Walmart holding a sign when people are telling me that he will go and buy drugs? I don't know

Should I allow a homeless man stay at my house, even though he could kill me in my sleep; or would it be wrong for me to deny him a place simply because I don't trust him? I don't know.

These are driving me nuts.

I don't expect you to answer every single question. I just want to know, how do you distinguish between right and wrong when it is not completely obvious?

Is it right for me to isolate myself from people as long as I don't hurt? I don't know.

I don't see anything in the Bible that says this is wrong.

Is it right for me to move to this place or that place, even though my parents are against it, because they need help in their old age? I don't know.

For a man shall leave his mother and father..... Pretty clear in the Bible.

Can I be a Christian and not attend church because I am afraid of getting hurt? I don't know.

Don’t stop meeting together with other believers, which some people have gotten into the habit of doing. It's in the Bible. Pretty clear.

Should I give a homeless man some money that is standing outside of Walmart holding a sign when people are telling me that he will go and buy drugs? I don't know

The Bible doesn't say either way. But the fact is, most are going to buy booze or drugs with the money. If you want to help people, that isn't the way to do it.

Should I allow a homeless man stay at my house, even though he could kill me in my sleep; or would it be wrong for me to deny him a place simply because I don't trust him? I don't know.

The Bible doesn't say either way. What it does say is that the man is head of the household, meaning that you will be held responsible for what happens in your home. If you let someone in their home who starts using your home to do something evil or ungodly, and you do not stop them, you will be held accountable for what you allowed in your home. You are responsible for what happens in your home.

Hope that helps.

 

[Halbhh]

There are things that I know are wrong, like killing someone or lying. But I have a hard time distinguishing between right and wrong.

Is it right for me to isolate myself from people as long as I don't hurt? I don't know.

Is it right for me to move to this place or that place, even though my parents are against it, because they need help in their old age? I don't know.

Can I be a Christian and not attend church because I am afraid of getting hurt? I don't know.

Should I give a homeless man some money that is standing outside of Walmart holding a sign when people are telling me that he will go and buy drugs? I don't know

Should I allow a homeless man stay at my house, even though he could kill me in my sleep; or would it be wrong for me to deny him a place simply because I don't trust him? I don't know.

These are driving me nuts.

I don't expect you to answer every single question. I just want to know, how do you distinguish between right and wrong when it is not completely obvious?

About the very different first question -- it's fine for a believer to spend time in retreat, and important that they get what they need when they do, such as rest or prayer time and time to focus on God and absorbing His word to you.

 

[Earatha]

There are things that I know are wrong, like killing someone or lying. But I have a hard time distinguishing between right and wrong.

I even have a hard time labeling these actions as wrong. I don’t think, for example, that it’s wrong to kill in self defense. And I can think of a few instances where lying to protect someone would be the moral thing to do. The standard examples include lying to Nazis to protect Jews (I know, Godwin’s law, but this was a real thing that did happen).

Can I be a Christian and not attend church because I am afraid of getting hurt? I don't know.

I’m isolating this one and taking it out of order, I know, but this is due to it being slightly a different issue. This will depend on your denomination and your interpretation of scripture. As an atheist I can’t answer this one for you. And you’ll probably get different answers from different people.

Is it right for me to isolate myself from people as long as I don't hurt? I don't know.

Is it right for me to move to this place or that place, even though my parents are against it, because they need help in their old age? I don't know.

Should I give a homeless man some money that is standing outside of Walmart holding a sign when people are telling me that he will go and buy drugs? I don't know

Should I allow a homeless man stay at my house, even though he could kill me in my sleep; or would it be wrong for me to deny him a place simply because I don't trust him? I don't know.

These are driving me nuts.

I don't expect you to answer every single question. I just want to know, how do you distinguish between right and wrong when it is not completely obvious?

So these seem to be concerned with moral “ought” ideas. Which are VERY interesting. We all understand the ideas of moral “ought not” ideas. You ought not torture babies. You ought not drive drunk. You ought not defraud people. But ought safe different.

What is your moral duty to other people? How do you decide? What are your obligations?

An example I have read about is a student at a fraternity who gets very drunk at a bbq. While drunk he thinks it would be very funny to put the head on his neighbors doorstep. His neighbor is a Jewish student center. The next morning he claims he didn’t know the building was a Jewish student center, or about the Jewish prohibition on pork, or about the history of anti-semitism on college campuses. The argument goes that the frat brother was under a moral obligation to know that this action would have been hurtful to his neighbor.

But how far do your moral obligations go? Your talk about the homeless man is a good question. I’m assuming you are somewhat well off and that you have some disposable income. Are you obligated to give him money? Are you obligated to help? Most people would agree that you are not obligated to impoverish yourself or put yourself in physical danger.

The question as to “should I be social” is one I identify with, having been diagnosed with MDD and anxiety, which make these things hard. And the answer I would give you is that it might not be an ethical question, but a health question. Socializing is something we, as humans, need. But you need to balance that with your own needs and comfort.

 

[ananda]

I don't expect you to answer every single question. I just want to know, how do you distinguish between right and wrong when it is not completely obvious?

There is no "right" and "wrong" in my understanding of Buddhism. There is, however, a graduated spectrum of skillful or unskillful action.

 

[DogmaHunter]

There are things that I know are wrong, like killing someone or lying.

Are those things wrong in all possible circumstances?
Because it seems quite clear to me that that is not the case.

But I have a hard time distinguishing between right and wrong.
Is it right for me to isolate myself from people as long as I don't hurt? I don't know.
Is it right for me to move to this place or that place, even though my parents are against it, because they need help in their old age? I don't know.
Can I be a Christian and not attend church because I am afraid of getting hurt? I don't know.
Should I give a homeless man some money that is standing outside of Walmart holding a sign when people are telling me that he will go and buy drugs? I don't know
Should I allow a homeless man stay at my house, even though he could kill me in my sleep; or would it be wrong for me to deny him a place simply because I don't trust him? I don't know.
These are driving me nuts.
I don't expect you to answer every single question. I just want to know, how do you distinguish between right and wrong when it is not completely obvious?

Let's first define some words.

What do the words "right" and "wrong", mean to you?
What qualities / properties / aspects should an action have before it can be labeled "right" or "wrong"?

If you're not clear on those definitions, then you can't use them as a basis to label things. Seems fairly obvious.

So in a more generic fashion: what does it mean, to act "morally"?

 

[Dynadin]

Although the OP doesn't mention morality, I take my direction from something Ernest Hemingway wrote: "
“So far, about morals, I know only that what is moral is what you feel good after and what is immoral is what you feel bad after.”

 

[jayem]

Although the OP doesn't mention morality, I take my direction from something Ernest Hemingway wrote: "
“So far, about morals, I know only that what is moral is what you feel good after and what is immoral is what you feel bad after.”

But there are people who feel good after doing some very bad things.

 

[OldWiseGuy]

Experience is the best teacher.

Regarding helping someone change a tire...call the State Patrol, to give 'safe cover' to the person. Many people are hit by traffic while doing this. I had a blowout on the Interstate and did just that, then I called for road service as it wasn't safe to change the tire by myself with the tools that I had as there was too little room on the shoulder. The trooper remained with us until my tire was changed.

Take a lesson from the 'good Samaritan'. What is clear from the story is that he had the resources, the experience, and the connections, to be extraordinarily helpful in time of need.

 

[durangodawood]

Although the OP doesn't mention morality, I take my direction from something Ernest Hemingway wrote: "
“So far, about morals, I know only that what is moral is what you feel good after and what is immoral is what you feel bad after.”

Too late.

 

[Dave-W]

There are things that I know are wrong, like killing someone or lying.

God killed people. (Noah's flood)

He also lied to people. (the lying spirit to entice Ahab to his death)

 

[Halbhh]

God killed people. (Noah's flood)

He also lied to people. (the lying spirit to entice Ahab to his death)

Sometimes people unconsciously (quite naturally, and it's the norm also, the predominate view) think that dying means the person is dead forever. So they are taken aback or outraged that God 'killed' anyone, with that assumptoin that death is final. It's always good to be aware that some will read it that way, that death of the mortal body is the final end, because they have it as their assumption, even if unconscious. So I try to often remind people that if they are relying on the Bible to say something happend, then that same source, the Bible, says that death here is akin to just 'sleep', and all will wake up, face what is next.

So, the Flood killing everyone but Noah's family is like a Police Officer knocked out everyone in a building full of criminals, and all the bodies were carried out, to the processing center, where all of them will be revived, but the suspects will be in handcuffs, while the innocents like little children will be rescued.

 

[zephcom]

Sometimes people unconsciously (quite naturally, and it's the norm also, the predominate view) think that dying means the person is dead forever. So they are taken aback or outraged that God 'killed' anyone, with that assumptoin that death is final. It's always good to be aware that some will read it that way, that death of the mortal body is the final end, because they have it as their assumption, even if unconscious. So I try to often remind people that if they are relying on the Bible to say something happend, then that same source, the Bible, says that death here is akin to just 'sleep', and all will wake up, face what is next.

So, the Flood killing everyone but Noah's family is like a Police Officer knocked out everyone in a building full of criminals, and all the bodies were carried out, to the processing center, where all of them will be revived, but the suspects will be in handcuffs, while the innocents like little children will be rescued.

You ended your 'story' too soon. The part you left out is that all of your 'innocents' were never allowed to go back home after they were revived. They were all required to remain at the processing center and not allowed to have any contact with family or friends who didn't live in that building full of criminals.

It is THAT part which makes God into a monster.

 

[RDKirk]

He also lied to people. (the lying spirit to entice Ahab to his death)

Although Ahab wanted that lie.

 

[Halbhh]

You ended your 'story' too soon. The part you left out is that all of your 'innocents' were never allowed to go back home after they were revived. They were all required to remain at the processing center and not allowed to have any contact with family or friends who didn't live in that building full of criminals.

It is THAT part which makes God into a monster.

Ah, friend, where is "Home"? Many songs have been written on that, of so many kinds, and many of them longing for it, not a mere location...like Cincinnati, or 2530 Oak Terrace....

So many songs, some better than others. Here's a famous old one:

 

[zephcom]

Ah, friend, where is "Home"? Many songs have been written on that, of so many kinds, and many of them longing for it, not a mere location...like Cincinnati, or 2530 Oak Terrace....

So many songs, some better than others. Here's a famous old one:

Avoiding the issue is not a solution for how 'God' becomes a monster. There are ways to exonerate God from this charge, but pretending that God is doing people a favor by killing them isn't one of them.

-If- killing people so they can go to a 'better' home is why God does these heinous things begs the question of why did He even bother putting us here in the first place. He is STILL a monster for putting us here so He can kill us.

God can be exonerated, but it requires viewing the Bible from a different perspective. Many people prefer making up excuses for God rather than readjusting their view of the Bible.

 

[Halbhh]

Avoiding the issue is not a solution for how 'God' becomes a monster. There are ways to exonerate God from this charge, but pretending that God is doing people a favor by killing them isn't one of them.

-If- killing people so they can go to a 'better' home is why God does these heinous things begs the question of why did He even bother putting us here in the first place. He is STILL a monster for putting us here so He can kill us.

God can be exonerated, but it requires viewing the Bible from a different perspective. Many people prefer making up excuses for God rather than readjusting their view of the Bible.

If a person thinks death may be final, they are (reasonably) assuming God can't raise the dead, or alternatively simply that God doesn't exist to begin with.

But the 'killing' any claim God did is from a text source they use to conclude He killed.

Consider: To say God killed anyone to begin with..we are getting this from that text, as the basis for the statement.

We are saying God killed, based on the Bible, right?

In which case what that text actually states is essential in considering the statement.

We can't claim God killed from a text and ignore the text.

The text, that same Bible, says death is only a doorway, and all will live again for what comes next, by the action of the very same God.

This is why in the Bible the metaphor 'sleep' is used, by Jesus the Christ, for example, about mortal death. It's only like sleep, and all will awaken.

So, it's the accurate statement only to say God sent them to what comes next, where the text says such as Bible Gateway passage: Romans 2:6-16 - New International Version, and Romans 5:13, and more. (Recommend the more readable NIV translation).