Discernment

[Chance7]

Hello, I am happy to be here and I want to say, God bless to you all.

I am sorry to be posting again but I have been trying to follow Jesus rather than mans teachings and grow in the word. I have been having a very hard time with this however. See, I only want to be able to follow the Lord. But my mind is against me. I have very severe OCD. I used to have many rituals that I would do for literally hours from light until dark because I believed that my family would suffer or something bad would happen if I didn’t. But, since I’ve been saved by God, I have been better with that and follow the Lord now, rather than rituals. But now, I try to follow God and it almost seems impossible. See, I try to live my life and follow God, pray about my decisions, and talk to God about these things and about a lot. But, I always find myself praying over and over again because I don’t think I prayed enough or the right way. Asking for forgiveness so many times before I feel like I got it “right”. And feeling like everything I do, including things like what I wear, what I eat, which color of something I pick, what I do, what I say, the thoughts that I have, and even how I worship, is a sin or not good enough or something like that. I don’t know if I should worship Jesus or God or the Holy Spirit. I don’t know if all of the Bible is true or if Paul is a real apostle. I can’t determine Gods will for my life. I don’t even know if God loves me or if I’m really saved...

And yes, I would just “Have faith” and do it anyway, but then there is this verse: “Whatever is not from Faith is sin”. There you have it. So, I can’t just do it anyway because the Bible seems to say that if I do, I am condemned. It says “if you think something is a sin and you do it anyway, like eating, you are condemned”. So, what do I do? I worry if God’s law still applies, and because of that, I feel it’s a sin to eat certain foods or to be unclean. I worry about trying to keep the entire Old Testament Law or if I even have to and no amount of dispute and reassurance or even talking about the arguments for or against it have been able to convince me, either way. I wash my hands so many times a day, it’s not funny. I feel like I should always be fasting and every bite of food I take is a mortal sin. Anything I drink, besides water, sometimes even that is a sin. Things have to be a certain way before I do something or it’s a sin. Do you see where I’m going with this? I question everything because technically, everything IS a sin to me. But I can’t not eat, drink, say anything, or do anything. I am exhausted, tired of the riles and rituals that my mind, and apparently the Bible, make mandatory, tired of washing my hands, tired of saying the same prayer before it feels right, and tired of having to pray and read my Bible in an exact, particular way for it to not feel abominable. Can’t I just worship God?

And yes, I know, “I’d it’s not a sin in the Bible, it’s not really a sin”. But, yes it is. The Bible seems to certify that. If i sin against my(severely over reactive)conscience, it’s still going to send me to hell. But so is this. Because I’m at a point where the more I give in, the worse and more strict it gets, the more exhausted I get, the more I don’t want anything to do with Christianity. It’s killing me. I just want to love God and I feel like I can’t.

I tried to look up the answers to Christianity, eternal life, and righteous living online, but YouTube and Google only make it drastically worse. Everything is an argument. There is no one Truth. Everything is “The True Gospel”, “what is really sin”, and “how to really get to Heaven”, but there is only one truth, Jesus Christ.

But, here is the worst part: I have tried. And tried And tried. And......it rarely works. Sometimes, if I pray about a Bible verse, I’ll get an answer. But, most of the time, I pray and get so many answers, voices claiming to be God, and different commands, prompts, and “truths”, than I can’t even move in life without feeling like my head will explode. Or, I get silence. Worst of all, I get utterly condemning answers. So, which one do I go with. They say to go with the one that matches God, the fruit of the spirit, and scripture, but a lot of them do. I have no discernment. Even worse, I have extremely severe and uncontrolled anxiety disorder, and anxiety being a sin makes me feel doomed, and it only furthers the cycle. I have medicines for this but they don’t help because I think it’s a sin to take them, so it is a sin to take them, so I don’t take them. Which makes it worse. I have prayed to Hod for countless helpful things in all of this and to take it away but it’s the same deal. Why? I have repented of so much but with the anxiety disorder, going against my broken conscience, and lack of faith that is attributed mostly to both, how can I feel like I’m not stuck in “sin” that I can’t control? I can’t even take hold of God’s basic promises, or the most important ones, or really very many at all, because I feel so much uncertainty and unbelief in my mind. And people tell me I just need to have faith, but how can I when I can’t get faith and my prayers go unanswered. I know I’m a sinner and I’m repenting and accept Jesus but I’m still filled with all this OCD that cripples my faith. People say that mental illness is a punishment from God and that medicine is a sin, and that only makes it worse. I’m not even sure who I am, how to live or even exist, or who God is anymore. I want to follow the Holy Spirit but I don’t even know what to listen to. I just genuinely want to worship God with peace. Why doesn’t God take away these things or let me take medicine to help me? Is this all just in my head? Why won’t God help me grow in faith after so many years of this getting worse when I am trying so hard?

Thank you for reading my post and for anything you do. If anyone can help me with discernment or advice, I would really appreciate it. God bless you.

 

[Aussie Pete]

Hello, I am happy to be here and I want to say, God bless to you all.

I am sorry to be posting again but I have been trying to follow Jesus rather than mans teachings and grow in the word. I have been having a very hard time with this however. See, I only want to be able to follow the Lord. But my mind is against me. I have very severe OCD. I used to have many rituals that I would do for literally hours from light until dark because I believed that my family would suffer or something bad would happen if I didn’t. But, since I’ve been saved by God, I have been better with that and follow the Lord now, rather than rituals. But now, I try to follow God and it almost seems impossible. See, I try to live my life and follow God, pray about my decisions, and talk to God about these things and about a lot. But, I always find myself praying over and over again because I don’t think I prayed enough or the right way. Asking for forgiveness so many times before I feel like I got it “right”. And feeling like everything I do, including things like what I wear, what I eat, which color of something I pick, what I do, what I say, the thoughts that I have, and even how I worship, is a sin or not good enough or something like that. I don’t know if I should worship Jesus or God or the Holy Spirit. I don’t know if all of the Bible is true or if Paul is a real apostle. I can’t determine Gods will for my life. I don’t even know if God loves me or if I’m really saved...

And yes, I would just “Have faith” and do it anyway, but then there is this verse: “Whatever is not from Faith is sin”. There you have it. So, I can’t just do it anyway because the Bible seems to say that if I do, I am condemned. It says “if you think something is a sin and you do it anyway, like eating, you are condemned”. So, what do I do? I worry if God’s law still applies, and because of that, I feel it’s a sin to eat certain foods or to be unclean. I worry about trying to keep the entire Old Testament Law or if I even have to and no amount of dispute and reassurance or even talking about the arguments for or against it have been able to convince me, either way. I wash my hands so many times a day, it’s not funny. I feel like I should always be fasting and every bite of food I take is a mortal sin. Anything I drink, besides water, sometimes even that is a sin. Things have to be a certain way before I do something or it’s a sin. Do you see where I’m going with this? I question everything because technically, everything IS a sin to me. But I can’t not eat, drink, say anything, or do anything. I am exhausted, tired of the riles and rituals that my mind, and apparently the Bible, make mandatory, tired of washing my hands, tired of saying the same prayer before it feels right, and tired of having to pray and read my Bible in an exact, particular way for it to not feel abominable. Can’t I just worship God?

And yes, I know, “I’d it’s not a sin in the Bible, it’s not really a sin”. But, yes it is. The Bible seems to certify that. If i sin against my(severely over reactive)conscience, it’s still going to send me to hell. But so is this. Because I’m at a point where the more I give in, the worse and more strict it gets, the more exhausted I get, the more I don’t want anything to do with Christianity. It’s killing me. I just want to love God and I feel like I can’t.

I tried to look up the answers to Christianity, eternal life, and righteous living online, but YouTube and Google only make it drastically worse. Everything is an argument. There is no one Truth. Everything is “The True Gospel”, “what is really sin”, and “how to really get to Heaven”, but there is only one truth, Jesus Christ.

But, here is the worst part: I have tried. And tried And tried. And......it rarely works. Sometimes, if I pray about a Bible verse, I’ll get an answer. But, most of the time, I pray and get so many answers, voices claiming to be God, and different commands, prompts, and “truths”, than I can’t even move in life without feeling like my head will explode. Or, I get silence. Worst of all, I get utterly condemning answers. So, which one do I go with. They say to go with the one that matches God, the fruit of the spirit, and scripture, but a lot of them do. I have no discernment. Even worse, I have extremely severe and uncontrolled anxiety disorder, and anxiety being a sin makes me feel doomed, and it only furthers the cycle. I have medicines for this but they don’t help because I think it’s a sin to take them, so it is a sin to take them, so I don’t take them. Which makes it worse. I have prayed to Hod for countless helpful things in all of this and to take it away but it’s the same deal. Why? I have repented of so much but with the anxiety disorder, going against my broken conscience, and lack of faith that is attributed mostly to both, how can I feel like I’m not stuck in “sin” that I can’t control? I can’t even take hold of God’s basic promises, or the most important ones, or really very many at all, because I feel so much uncertainty and unbelief in my mind. And people tell me I just need to have faith, but how can I when I can’t get faith and my prayers go unanswered. I know I’m a sinner and I’m repenting and accept Jesus but I’m still filled with all this OCD that cripples my faith. People say that mental illness is a punishment from God and that medicine is a sin, and that only makes it worse. I’m not even sure who I am, how to live or even exist, or who God is anymore. I want to follow the Holy Spirit but I don’t even know what to listen to. I just genuinely want to worship God with peace. Why doesn’t God take away these things or let me take medicine to help me? Is this all just in my head? Why won’t God help me grow in faith after so many years of this getting worse when I am trying so hard?

Thank you for reading my post and for anything you do. If anyone can help me with discernment or advice, I would really appreciate it. God bless you.

First and foremost, you need to quit obsessing about yourself. You are forgiven. You are a new creation in Christ. You are acceptable to God in Christ. God punished Jesus - so why would He punish you? Even in man's law people, are not punished for the same crime twice.

God no longer looks at you in isolation. You died and your life is hidden in Christ with God. Jesus is now your life. When you quit trying to be what God has already made you to be, your life will be so much better.

 

[aiki]

Hello, I am happy to be here and I want to say, God bless to you all.

I am sorry to be posting again but I have been trying to follow Jesus rather than mans teachings and grow in the word. I have been having a very hard time with this however. See, I only want to be able to follow the Lord. But my mind is against me. I have very severe OCD. I used to have many rituals that I would do for literally hours from light until dark because I believed that my family would suffer or something bad would happen if I didn’t. But, since I’ve been saved by God, I have been better with that and follow the Lord now, rather than rituals.

I used to struggle with OCD and, of course, with serious anxiety. The two things go together. What God showed me was that fear, worry and anxiety all come, not from God, but from me, from my Self. When Self is in control of me rather than God, fear is always part of what results. When I don't trust that God is in control and that He is loving, wise, and patient, I will set about trying to exert control over the uncontrollable with rituals, and endless internal debates, and phobias. It's really all at bottom just about protecting my Self. The problem, though, is that God can't be really enjoyed until Self is got rid of.

But now, I try to follow God and it almost seems impossible. See, I try to live my life and follow God, pray about my decisions, and talk to God about these things and about a lot. But, I always find myself praying over and over again because I don’t think I prayed enough or the right way.

Is this sort of anxiety coming from God? Never. In fact, God's word says that God's love casts out fear, that he who fears has not yet become mature in his love for God. And this is always because those who fear do not properly understand God's love of them. (1 John 4:16-19) The secret to being free from fear is to know deeply and certainly how much God loves you. When you do, when you are really convinced of the amazing, never-ending love God has for you, fear dissolves and love takes its place.

God loved us when we were yet sinners (1 John 4:9-10); He loved us when we were enemies toward Him by our wicked works (Colossians 1:21-22); He loved us when we were bound under the power of the World, our flesh and the devil (Ephesians 2:1-6). Why would you think, then, that He would turn from you because of the sorts of silly, obsessive things that plague your thinking? He came unto His own and His own received Him not (John 1:11-12) and He still went and died for them on a cross. Do you really think He's fussing over how many times or how sincerely you prayed?

And yes, I would just “Have faith” and do it anyway, but then there is this verse: “Whatever is not from Faith is sin”. There you have it. So, I can’t just do it anyway because the Bible seems to say that if I do, I am condemned.

Romans 14:20-23
20 For meat destroy not the work of God. All things indeed are pure; but it is evil for that man who eateth with offence.
21 It is good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine, nor any thing whereby thy brother stumbleth, or is offended, or is made weak.
22 Hast thou faith? have it to thyself before God. Happy is he that condemneth not himself in that thing which he alloweth.
23 And he that doubteth is damned if he eat, because he eateth not of faith: for whatsoever is not of faith is sin.

Never read a Bible verse. That is, never read just one verse out of context from those verses around it that give it its sense. What Paul is saying in verse 23 is that one ought to be fully convinced of the rightness of a thing before partaking in it - in the case in Romans 14, eating meat offered to idols: If a Christian believes eating meat offered to idols is wrong, he ought not to eat it.

So, what do I do? I worry if God’s law still applies, and because of that, I feel it’s a sin to eat certain foods or to be unclean. I worry about trying to keep the entire Old Testament Law or if I even have to and no amount of dispute and reassurance or even talking about the arguments for or against it have been able to convince me, either way.

Well, what does the Bible say? What does Paul say in Romans 14? What does Paul write about the law and keeping it in his letter to the Galatians? What does the writer of Hebrews say about the Christian's freedom from the OT laws of ceremony and separation?

It isn't really important how you feel in the degree of your conviction about the truths of Scripture. What it says is the truth no matter how you happen to feel about it. And it says that the born-again believer is no longer under the OT laws of ceremony and separation. Again, read the book of Galatians.
Will you submit to the Bible's authority, or will you set your Self above it? You're already doing the latter and it isn't working out well for you.

I wash my hands so many times a day, it’s not funny. I feel like I should always be fasting and every bite of food I take is a mortal sin. Anything I drink, besides water, sometimes even that is a sin. Things have to be a certain way before I do something or it’s a sin. Do you see where I’m going with this? I question everything because technically, everything IS a sin to me. But I can’t not eat, drink, say anything, or do anything. I am exhausted, tired of the riles and rituals that my mind, and apparently the Bible, make mandatory, tired of washing my hands, tired of saying the same prayer before it feels right, and tired of having to pray and read my Bible in an exact, particular way for it to not feel abominable. Can’t I just worship God?

See, all this stuff you're doing is just trying to appease God by dint of your own efforts. That's just Self trying to achieve acceptance by God. If there is one thing the Bible makes clear, though, it's that no one can ever be accepted by God on their own merits. No one. Ever.

Ephesians 2:8-9
8 For by grace are you saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
9 Not of works, lest any man should boast.

2 Timothy 1:9
9 Who has saved us, and called us with an holy calling, not according to our works, but according to his own purpose and grace, which was given us in Christ Jesus before the world began,

Titus 3:3-7
3 For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving various lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another.
4 But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared,
5 Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost;
6 Which he shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Saviour;
7 That being justified by his grace, we should be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life.

God accepts any of us ONLY because of Christ and his perfect atonement for our sins on the cross of Calvary. When we trust in him as our Saviour, we are clothed in his righteousness, we "put on Christ," and are thereby made acceptable to God who sees us in him. This is the ONLY basis upon which God will ever accept you. No man can ever be good enough on his own to meet God's standard for acceptance.

The Bible seems to certify that. If i sin against my(severely over reactive)conscience, it’s still going to send me to hell.

You're not taking Paul's words in their context.

And what if your conscience pressed you to kill and eat your neighbor? Would that be "of faith" and so a right act? Of course not. If your conscience was at ease with pulling the eyes out of cats for fun, would that be "of faith" and so a moral deed? Obviously not. So, you can't use Paul's words out of context as the single, guiding factor in walking with God. Romans 14 was about how to love others practically by putting their sensitivities before your own perceived rights so as to not to make them stumble.

And yes, I know, “I’d it’s not a sin in the Bible, it’s not really a sin”. But, yes it is. The Bible seems to certify that. If i sin against my(severely over reactive)conscience, it’s still going to send me to hell. But so is this. Because I’m at a point where the more I give in, the worse and more strict it gets, the more exhausted I get, the more I don’t want anything to do with Christianity. It’s killing me. I just want to love God and I feel like I can’t.

Yeah, this is always where following Self leads. Jesus promised those who trust in him rest and peace, however.

Matthew 11:28-30
28 Come unto me, all you that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and you shall find rest unto your souls.
30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

So long as you trust in your own effort to make yourself acceptable to God, in all your little rituals and rules, Self will continue to drive you deeper into the unhappy place you presently occupy.

I know I’m a sinner and I’m repenting and accept Jesus but I’m still filled with all this OCD that cripples my faith.

And what did Jesus say about being his follower?

Matthew 16:24-25
24 Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.
25 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.

You've spent a lot of time and effort building the stronghold of fear in your life which is, at bottom, just Self trying to protect itself. But to really know God and enjoy Him, Self has to go, it has to die, in fact. Will you deny your Self and take up the cross of Self-sacrifice, putting off your fear and OCD by anchoring your mind to God's truth and walking in daily, moment-by-moment surrender to God? This is God's way to joyful life in Him.

Romans 6:13-18
Romans 12:1
James 4:7
1 Peter 5:6

 

[1213]

...But, I always find myself praying over and over again because I don’t think I prayed enough or the right way. ...

I think you worry too much. God is good and He is not petty. And as Jesus says:

"Therefore I tell you, don't be anxious for your life, what you will eat, nor yet for your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body is more than clothing. Consider the ravens: they don't sow, they don't reap, they have no warehouse or barn, and God feeds them. How much more valuable are you than birds! Which of you by being anxious can add a cubit to his height? If then you aren't able to do even the least things, why are you anxious about the rest? Consider the lilies, how they grow. They don't toil, neither do they spin; yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if this is how God clothes the grass in the field, which today exists, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith? Don't seek what you will eat or what you will drink; neither be anxious. For the nations of the world seek after all of these things, but your Father knows that you need these things. But seek God's Kingdom, and all these things will be added to you.
Luke 12:22-31

God hears you even if your prayer is not perfect. And actually, it is also said:

"When you pray, you shall not be as the hypocrites, for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men. Most assuredly, I tell you, they have received their reward. But you, when you pray, enter into your inner chamber, and having shut your door, pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly. In praying, don't use vain repetitions, as the Gentiles do; for they think that they will be heard for their much speaking. Therefore don't be like them, for your Father knows what things you need, before you ask him. Pray like this: 'Our Father in heaven, may your name be kept holy. Let your kingdom come. Let your will be done, as in heaven, so on earth. Give us today our daily bread. Forgive us our debts, as we also forgive our debtors. Bring us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. For yours is the kingdom, the power, and the glory forever. Amen.'
Matt. 6.5-13

And about God’ will, it is basically in this:

Jesus said to him, "'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.' This is the first and great commandment. A second likewise is this, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' The whole law and the prophets depend on these two commandments."
Matt. 22:37-40

And love God means this:

For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. His commandments are not grievous.
1 John 5:3

Love is the good reason to do so. Don’t do it to earn something, because it is not useful. Eternal life is promised for righteous. And righteousness, wisdom of the just, is like right understanding that makes person do good, because he understands it is good and therefore wants to do so. If you do right only because you try to earn something, it is like what scribes and Pharisees would have done.

These will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.
Mat. 25:46

For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 6:23

For I tell you that unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, there is no way you will enter into the Kingdom of Heaven.
Mat. 5:20

The condition is not that person is perfect, but righteousness. People probably can never be perfect. That is why I think one should not worry about that.