So tell me, did Mary get a say in being impregnated?
Of course. God doesn't force anyone to do anything. We are not puppets or robots.
Because sometimes that part of the story just reads like get gets told that she'll be getting pregnant now, and, well, sure, she does say later on, "Okay, let it be so," that part of her response seems pretty inconsequential given the fact that she's already been told that it's going to happen regardless.
That part of her response was far from "inconsequential." It was necessary. God was not going to force her to become pregnant. She was a humble and obedient servant of the Lord, which is precisely why she found favour with God. Her faith in God was well known to Him.
Believe me, I have a burning desire to want Mary to have agency. She did say, "Let it be according to your word." I want to let her yes be yes! What an empowering story that one would be, and what a deep and meaningful testament to the trust Mary had in God!
And indeed, that's exactly what it is. A beautiful, deep and meaningful testament of Mary's trust and faith in God.
Being pregnant was even more dangerous then than it is today. To top it off, being unwed and pregnant? And all that traveling. God didn't put her in an easy position, that's for sure. But she trusted God. And goodness knows the good book needs a woman or two with agency!
Absolutely. All of that is true. God has often asked for extreme sacrifice and obedience. He doesn't force anyone, however.
Her "Let it be according to your word," doesn't feel like consent. It feels like the child who pretends to be asleep when her dad comes into her room at night because she knows there's nothing she can do to stop what he is about to do anyway... and even if she wanted to try, how would she even begin to say "no" when they are on such unequal playing fields; she doesn't have the language yet to describe what he is doing.
While it's true that God is far above Mary (as her God and Creator) that does not mean He took advantage of her. I find it heartbreaking that you would equate the miracle of our Saviour's conception with the incestuous rape of a child by their father.
How much did Mary know of the OT God?
We know she was a devout and faithful young Jewish woman. As such, she would have known of God very well and of all the Jewish customs and traditions and the reasons for them.
I'm not sure I know a lot about her regarding what education she would have had?
Her education would likely have been typical of any other Jewish woman at that time. She would have known all of the OT accounts, the reasons for the traditions and customs.
Did she know enough to know how the OT women got treated?
Because human beings have free will, there are indeed cases of that free will being abused. That does not mean God condones such things.
Look at Hagar. She was raped, repeatedly, and later mistreated by the wife of the man who raped her.
Nowhere does it say that God approved of how Hagar was treated. In fact, He made provision for her and Ishmael.
She ran away and what did God do? God said, "Go back to the place where you get hurt."
Well, I think there was more to it than that. God doesn't celebrate or condone people getting abused.
Where women do come up in the OT, it's no secret that they are generally either "vessels" or they meet unpleasant ends (or maybe both!)
There are actually many OT accounts of women who were very powerful and blessed by the Lord and anything but mere "vessels".
Would Mary have felt like she had any power to say "no" to a God who the OT credits with some pretty... strong... punishments?
No doubt she would have "feared" the Lord (which, as Scripture says is the beginning of wisdom). However, she would also have trusted Him, and her humble obedience is absolutely a beautiful and lasting testament to her strong faith in God and all of His promises.
So what is there to take away from that passage that just seems to be Mary being taken advantage of/being reduced to a vessel. I get the whole theme of obedience and all but the annunciation bit itself really still eats at me.
I'm sorry that this account troubles you so deeply. I truly wish it did not. It really is a beautiful example of faith, one we should still rejoice and thank God for today.
And God knew Mary would say "yes" (as He is all knowing). He did not "take advantage" of her or use her as nothing more than a "vessel." He loves her and she had found favour with Him. This plan that was being fulfilled was for her salvation also. So, we can and should praise God and give Him all glory in this.
God bless.