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Did I ruin a friendship before it began?

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by SeekingGloryOnThisJourney, Apr 17, 2020.

  1. SeekingGloryOnThisJourney

    SeekingGloryOnThisJourney Member

    211
    +129
    United States
    Eastern Orthodox
    Single
    There was someone I was sure God was drawing me too. I asked for signs and there were signs. It brought me joy and I praised God because of the wonderful things I could see happening. We started becoming friends. I wanted to get his number so we could talk. Except i couldn’t because I never got a chance to ask him because of the quarantine.
    My mind is scrambled. I’ve been hearing “what if it was an idol?”
    I tend to overthink things. I was thinking of this person a lot. I was dreaming of our future and serving God together. But I was always Worshipping God clearly, never this person. Only at night and sometimes during the day I thought of this person and how happy I was, that God was starting something new and I could see it before my eyes. Now I’m worried if I’ve committed idolatry. And because of me, I won’t be able to even have a friendship. Because I ruined it with my own thoughts. That I ended someone so beautiful that couldn’t be fulfilled because of my thoughts. I don’t know what to do but thinking every good thing God has for me will be ruined; all because of unwanted thoughts.
     
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  2. Aussie Pete

    Aussie Pete Well-Known Member Supporter

    +3,356
    Australia
    Non-Denom
    Divorced
    I suggest that you look up Mark Gungor on youtube. He is one of the leading Christian teachers on the issue of dating and relationships. He presents in a way that is very funny but very down to earth.

    Fantasising about someone is common, but not healthy. Going by signs is also dangerous. I did exactly that and I ended up in a total mess. I can tell you the tale privately if you want to know. Suffice to say that I'd not want anyone to go through what I put myself through.
     
  3. Tolworth John

    Tolworth John Well-Known Member Supporter

    +2,777
    United Kingdom
    Non-Denom
    Married
    May I suggest that you reread your post.

    It is a classic in overthinking a situation.
    Please take a deep breath and stop fussing about nothing.

    As Aussie Pete has said stop looking for signs.

    A question.
    Where did you see this , I assume , a man. Was he with people you know, that is can call,txt,email and would they know his name so you can befriend him on Facebook.

    Otherwise you are going to have to put your hopes, feelings etc on ice and forget about him untill life goes back to normal.
     
  4. WrappedUpinHisLove3

    WrappedUpinHisLove3 Well-Known Member

    721
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    this is not the definition of idolatory. you are not trusting in this guy to save you from your sins. he is not a false religion which is Bible definition of idolatory. but the looking for signs thing surely not a good thing.

    quarantine will end and you may be able to see him again?
     
  5. LaBèlla

    LaBèlla ❤️ Supporter

    +6,507
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    What kind of signs did you ask for?

    Will you cross paths when the quarantine lifts?

    That’s fairly normal when you’re attracted to someone. Did he feel the same?

    How is that possible? You like him. That’s evident. Thinking about someone isn’t idolatry. Placing them above God in your mind and heart would fall in that camp. Deifying a man is idolatrous. Worshiping him is as well. Making him your personal Jesus would qualify.

    Do you see the difference?

    I would encourage you to remain grounded and avoid getting carried away with emotions and fantasies. You’ll appreciate the possibility of something more when he communicates his interest and you’re on the same page.

    Conversing with a man doesn’t mean you’re headed to the altar. Even when the attraction is mutual. Ideally you relate intentionally to cover the bases. Then get out of the way and allow the connection to bloom.

    Micromanaging and getting ahead of the other are common mistakes. You don’t have enough to go on. You aren’t sure he’s ready to make the leap. Only time and togetherness will demonstrate where you stand.

    Partings are only a problem when fear and hardheartedness are an issue. If both are unattached there’s no reason you can’t continue or start again.

    ~Bella
     
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  6. F.E.A.R.

    F.E.A.R. Lord Inquisitor

    162
    +68
    Serbia
    Eastern Orthodox
    Single
    Don't believe in dreams in the first place. Because of your obsession with this guy you were tempted in your sleep. You just formed an ideal relationship with this guy, which you shouldn't have done in the first place. And no you don't know how God works or what you've asked for. Usually when God does his work, it's rather late when we find out what He's done for us. No you haven't committed idolatry.

    On Dreams by Metropolitan Hierotheos of Nafpaktos
     
  7. SeekingGloryOnThisJourney

    SeekingGloryOnThisJourney Member

    211
    +129
    United States
    Eastern Orthodox
    Single
    This is an old post yet I thank you for the advice.
    When I said dream I didn’t actually dream in my sleep.
    I meant thinkin’.
    I’m doing so much better now with this.
    Thanks :)
     
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  8. SeekingGloryOnThisJourney

    SeekingGloryOnThisJourney Member

    211
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    Eastern Orthodox
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    Hello, thank you,
    Signs to see his Spirit and who he serves,
    We attend the same Church, we definitely will
    I guess I’ve been afraid, my last true relationship was idolatrous, and I’m worried of ever doing that again.
    Yes once we are on the same page I know God will tell me what He wants.
    God Bless, P.S. love the new PFP. God Bless :)
     
  9. F.E.A.R.

    F.E.A.R. Lord Inquisitor

    162
    +68
    Serbia
    Eastern Orthodox
    Single
    Lol I didn't see the date when this thread was started. Still you were day dreaming, escaping reality. I'm glad that you're doing much better.
     
  10. SeekingGloryOnThisJourney

    SeekingGloryOnThisJourney Member

    211
    +129
    United States
    Eastern Orthodox
    Single
    Thank you, friend. I’ve always been a day dreamer (which was very fun as a child, not so much now...:sigh:)
     
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