Did I do the right thing by cutting off contact with this online guy?

[akaDaScribe]

The issues are downright scary. I wouldn't want Jess to anywhere NEAR this person.

Would you?

Honestly? If they both feel isolated, they make each other not feel alone, they both make each other happy when they are together, and they both understand the other person's weaknesses and still enjoy each other, probably yeah.

The thing is we don't have access to all kinds of information so we are going based on what we have been told.

But I've seen my share of Camelot couples crash and burn and the quirkiest couples just seem to work sometimes. People always think how can he be with her, or how can she be with him? But it's usually because they get each other and are willing to accept each other if it means being accepted.

 

[brinny]

Thank you so much. I agree. I just feel sad but I know if I keep giving it to God I will forget all about it someday and move forward.

You are most welcome, Jess.

And yes, keep giving it to God. It will all be a thankfully distant memory one day, as you move forward.

And move forward, you SHALL!!!!

 

[brinny]

Honestly? If they both feel isolated, they make each other not feel alone, they both make each other happy when they are together, and they both understand the other person's weaknesses and still enjoy each other, probably yeah.

The thing is we don't have access to all kinds of information so we are going based on what we have been told.

But I've seen my share of Camelot couples crash and burn and the quirkiest couples just seem to work sometimes. People always think how can he be with her, or how can she be with him? But it's usually because they get each other and are willing to accept each other if it means being accepted.

Did you by any chance, read Jess's post about this persons latest entry in his thread or blog?

It was most clarifying and revealing.

 

[pinkjess]

I just did a search on his name and his city and turns out he was telling me the truth about some things that I thought were hogwash (his job, etc.). My heart hurts today and I feel so confused about how I really feel. I am so tempted to want to look back but I know God brought me out of it through conviction and there had to been a reason why He told me to get out. I wish my spirit was louder than my heart right now.

 

[pinkjess]

Honestly? If they both feel isolated, they make each other not feel alone, they both make each other happy when they are together, and they both understand the other person's weaknesses and still enjoy each other, probably yeah.

The thing is we don't have access to all kinds of information so we are going based on what we have been told.

But I've seen my share of Camelot couples crash and burn and the quirkiest couples just seem to work sometimes. People always think how can he be with her, or how can she be with him? But it's usually because they get each other and are willing to accept each other if it means being accepted.

That sounds like a recipe for an unhealthy relationship. If two people are isolated, they need to seek help from family and friends, not develop a romantic relationship where they will depend on each other for their emotional needs and become toxic and clingy.

 

[brinny]

I just did a search on his name and his city and turns out he was telling me the truth about some things that I thought were hogwash (his job, etc.). My heart hurts today and I feel so confused about how I really feel. I am so tempted to want to look back but I know God brought me out of it through conviction and there had to been a reason why He told me to get out. I wish my spirit was louder than my heart right now.

Careful Jess.

There's no confusion in what concerned you.

God REMOVED you from what could've been quicksand or a slippery slope or a big ol' spiders web.

Whew!!!! Be thankful girlfriend.

Do you have any strong, wise sisters who can support you through this and help bring fer-real reality into all this when you get in a "dreamy-like" state? (It happens...it's part of the grief stage, Jess)

 

[brinny]

That sounds like a recipe for an unhealthy relationship. If two people are isolated, they need to seek help from family and friends, not develop a romantic relationship where they will depend on each other for their emotional needs and become toxic and clingy.

Told ya' yer gut is workin', Jess.

That's an excellent and healthy response.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

Yeah but he has bad issues. Who writes the way he does and refuses to seek help? He was nice and sometimes even charming to me in our private messaging. That's also a sign of sociopathy. This guy could one day let his unresolved anger issues cause him to shoot up a school one day.

Thanks very true.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

The issues are downright scary. I wouldn't want Jess to anywhere NEAR this person.

Would you?

Not him of course. I didn't know the guy was like that until I read his post. I was referring to her being with a healthier person.

 

[brinny]

Not him of course. I didn't know the guy was like that until I read his post. I was referring to her being with a healthier person.

for now, it's probably best to just be thankful she escaped what could've been a fer-real strangle-hold and a too-late-to-turn-back scenario.

God is GOOD.

Thank GOD Jess got OUTTA there.

Whew!

 

[pinkjess]

Careful Jess.

There's no confusion in what concerned you.

God REMOVED you from what could've been quicksand or a slippery slope or a big ol' spiders web.

Whew!!!! Be thankful girlfriend.

Do you have any strong, wise sisters who can support you through this and help bring fer-real reality into all this when you get in a "dreamy-like" state? (It happens...it's part of the grief stage, Jess)

No not really I dont think

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

I just did a search on his name and his city and turns out he was telling me the truth about some things that I thought were hogwash (his job, etc.). My heart hurts today and I feel so confused about how I really feel. I am so tempted to want to look back but I know God brought me out of it through conviction and there had to been a reason why He told me to get out. I wish my spirit was louder than my heart right now.

that's the loneliness talking.

you did the right thing..

 

[brinny]

I have learned that being respected and held in "esteem" is waaaay more important that the "warm fuzzies", and that FREEDOM is priceless and never ever to be allowed to be taken from us.

I came across this song on Youtube and the theme just SPOKE to me. HAHAAAA

Amen!

Wooooo Hooooo!!!

 

[brinny]

No not really I dont think

Keep praying. (((hug)))

 

[brinny]

that's the loneliness talking.

you did the right thing..

Loneliness?

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

Loneliness?

loneliness can lead to emotional co-dependencies that will have us go back to relationships we know are bad for us.

 

[akaDaScribe]

Did you by any chance, read Jess's post about this persons latest entry in his thread or blog?

It was most clarifying and revealing.

I hadn't read his rant when i wrote what i wrote. Assuming he wrote that shortly after she broke up with him, it just tells me how betrayed he feels. I don't know him, but she does. Is this another side of him that she hasn't seen, or does she appreciate his dramatic, romantic, articulation of the frustrations many have felt but did not have the words to express?

Does he come across a bit dark and extreme? Definitely. But then, so does every artist who is trying to communicate the depths of what they feel or perceive.

This I would say though. If that's a side of him she is unfamiliar with I would find it very concerning. If he's pretty much a dramatic expressionist, then that's just who he is and she already knew that. I think what basically happened here was that they had a unique relationship and really got each other and she panicked and fled and he was devastated because he finally felt like he found someone who loved him for who he was and now he just feels like a fool for thinking it was real. Only it was real and he knows it, so he's having a hard time reconciling what went wrong.

So basically, the only thing it clarified to me is who he is a bit. He is certainly not the guy for everyone. I don't think it makes him a psychopath, but if it makes Jess uneasy then yeah, she should just leave him alone. I'd be surprised if she never saw that side of him before though.

 

[brinny]

loneliness can lead to emotional co-dependencies that will have us go back to situations we know are bad for us.

There's waaaaaay more there than loneliness or co-dependency there. The issues indicate that this is called for:

 

[brinny]

I hadn't read his rant when i wrote what i wrote. Assuming he wrote that shortly after she broke up with him, it just tells me how betrayed he feels. I don't know him, but she does. Is this another side of him that she hasn't seen, or does she appreciate his dramatic, romantic, articulation of the frustrations many have felt but did not have the words to express?

Does he come across a bit dark and extreme? Definitely. But then, so does every artist who is trying to communicate the depths of what they feel or perceive.

This I would say though. If that's a side of him she is unfamiliar with I would find it very concerning. If he's pretty much a dramatic expressionist, then that's just who he is and she already knew that. I think what basically happened here was that they had a unique relationship and really got each other and she panicked and fled and he was devastated because he finally felt like he found someone who loved him for who he was and now he just feels like a fool for thinking it was real. Only it was real and he knows it, so he's having a hard time reconciling what went wrong.

So basically, the only thing it clarified to me is who he is a bit. He is certainly not the guy for everyone. I don't think it makes him a psychopath, but if it makes Jess uneasy then yeah, she should just leave him alone. I'd be surprised if she never saw that side of him before though.

NO ONE should be within 50 feet of him, my friend.

 

[akaDaScribe]

I just did a search on his name and his city and turns out he was telling me the truth about some things that I thought were hogwash (his job, etc.). My heart hurts today and I feel so confused about how I really feel. I am so tempted to want to look back but I know God brought me out of it through conviction and there had to been a reason why He told me to get out. I wish my spirit was louder than my heart right now.

It's completely fine to want to end a relationship for whatever reason. It's not a matter of right or wrong, but rather, it was your choice to make and you made it. Are you saying that God told you to leave the relationship though?