Did I botch my penance?

Gnarwhal

☩ Broman Catholic ☩
Oct 31, 2008
20,373
12,069
36
N/A
✟423,673.00
Country
United States
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Libertarian
Yesterday I went to confession and at the end the priest asked me to do an act of kindness for someone as my penance. I always struggle with these kinds of penance because they feel ambiguous, like how do I know if I completed it or whether I did it correctly or not? So I had plans to hang out with my sister and her husband afterwards, we were going to get some takeout and watch a movie at their place. I figured for my penance I would pay for their dinner as well. Does that even count? Father wasn't anymore specific than that, he didn't say "go do an act of kindness for the homeless" or anything. But it's just so hard to judge.

If there are any priests reading this: please give more concrete penances, a layman like me will tear his hair out wanting to know if he's done it or not.
 

Michie

Well-Known Member
Supporter
Feb 5, 2002
165,522
55,220
Woods
✟4,586,217.00
Country
United States
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Others
Yesterday I went to confession and at the end the priest asked me to do an act of kindness for someone as my penance. I always struggle with these kinds of penance because they feel ambiguous, like how do I know if I completed it or whether I did it correctly or not? So I had plans to hang out with my sister and her husband afterwards, we were going to get some takeout and watch a movie at their place. I figured for my penance I would pay for their dinner as well. Does that even count? Father wasn't anymore specific than that, he didn't say "go do an act of kindness for the homeless" or anything. But it's just so hard to judge.

If there are any priests reading this: please give more concrete penances, a layman like me will tear his hair out wanting to know if he's done it or not.
Lol! I think paying for dinner counts.:) I do not know if you struggle with scrupulosity or not but usually if the priest finds something very serious, he’ll show it and give penance accordingly. It seems your confession was not something he saw fit to address in any particular way when it came to penance. You fulfilled your penance when you bought dinner. The goal is to continue with those acts of kindness when you see the need or need to step outside yourself for the receiver’s witness of your faith. :)
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Gnarwhal
Upvote 0

Gnarwhal

☩ Broman Catholic ☩
Oct 31, 2008
20,373
12,069
36
N/A
✟423,673.00
Country
United States
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Libertarian
Lol! I think paying for dinner counts.:) I do not know if you struggle with scrupulosity or not but usually if the priest finds some very serious, he’ll show it and give penance accordingly. It seems your confession was not something he saw fit to address in any particular way when it came to penance. You fulfilled your penance when you bought dinner. The goal is to continue with those acts of kindness when you see the need or need to step outside yourself for the receiver’s witness of your faith. :)

Ahhh okay, that makes sense. I sometimes wonder whether I drift into scrupulosity. Maybe I do?
 
Upvote 0

Michie

Well-Known Member
Supporter
Feb 5, 2002
165,522
55,220
Woods
✟4,586,217.00
Country
United States
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Others
Ahhh okay, that makes sense. I sometimes wonder whether I drift into scrupulosity. Maybe I do?
I think we all tend to every once in awhile. But as my priest explained once, scrupulosity can be sinful as well. There is a fine line to walk as far as being diligent and going into that fear mode. God knows our hearts. :)
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Gnarwhal
Upvote 0

RileyG

Veteran
Angels Team
Feb 10, 2013
14,081
7,987
28
Nebraska
✟235,233.00
Country
United States
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Celibate
Politics
US-Republican
Yesterday I went to confession and at the end the priest asked me to do an act of kindness for someone as my penance. I always struggle with these kinds of penance because they feel ambiguous, like how do I know if I completed it or whether I did it correctly or not? So I had plans to hang out with my sister and her husband afterwards, we were going to get some takeout and watch a movie at their place. I figured for my penance I would pay for their dinner as well. Does that even count? Father wasn't anymore specific than that, he didn't say "go do an act of kindness for the homeless" or anything. But it's just so hard to judge.

If there are any priests reading this: please give more concrete penances, a layman like me will tear his hair out wanting to know if he's done it or not.
It sounds like the penance was completed. I wouldn't worry about it.

God bless
 
  • Like
Reactions: Gnarwhal
Upvote 0

whatisinausername

Active Member
Nov 23, 2022
105
14
America
✟3,202.00
Country
United States
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Private
Yesterday I went to confession and at the end the priest asked me to do an act of kindness for someone as my penance. I always struggle with these kinds of penance because they feel ambiguous, like how do I know if I completed it or whether I did it correctly or not? So I had plans to hang out with my sister and her husband afterwards, we were going to get some takeout and watch a movie at their place. I figured for my penance I would pay for their dinner as well. Does that even count? Father wasn't anymore specific than that, he didn't say "go do an act of kindness for the homeless" or anything. But it's just so hard to judge.

If there are any priests reading this: please give more concrete penances, a layman like me will tear his hair out wanting to know if he's done it or not.
I know the feeling. A priest is not a mind reader or a psychologist. You have already examined yourself and the harm you may have caused to yourself and others. I had a bad slip the other day and a nasty scab on my knee. The priest cannot see the scab. I think we want priests to be like doctors prescribing some medicine for 7 days or two drops of this and that every three days until healed. How do you weigh a sin?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Gnarwhal
Upvote 0

Lady Bug

Thankful For My Confirmation
Supporter
Aug 23, 2007
22,174
10,518
✟775,611.00
Country
United States
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Private
First of all, I don't think you botched it, but even if you did, just do another act of kindness later - as simple as holding the door for someone. Our sins are already forgiven before penance (which doesn't mean you shouldn't do penance, but we should remind ourselves that we've been forgiven before we do the penance).
 
Upvote 0