Did a traumatic experience make you unchurched?

[TheAJKMan]

Ah yes but I was 12 or 13 at the time and not really as swift with the come-back as I am today.

Kiwimac

*sigh* one of the seemingly few advantages of growing older ;P

TheAJKMan

 

[Qidron]

*sigh* one of the seemingly few advantages of growing older ;P

TheAJKMan

True , MY naivity to believe in people continued on into my adult...old adult... years. The hits I'd taken as a child came from outside the "family of God"...so when I came full force to Him THROUGH the church...I thought I'd reached safe ground. HA! So even as an adult we have to learn to TRUST GOD....and LOVE PEOPLE. And when the horrors hit coming from those we wrongfully put expectations on and mistakenly trusted...we have to cling to HIM and find where safe ground reallly is. WE've all got to learn it. Jesus didn't trust in men...he trusted in his Father and he loved mankind right to his death...proving his love for us. And he told us to do likewise. Our stand is for the truth...and for the love of the many He puts before us.

 

[LJSGM]

I don't think that my ideals toward home churches or being unchurch came through bitterness.

I had joined this church in college that was wonderful as far as fellowship went. I had true friendship there, I really miss it. I felt that they were closer to what kind of church God wanted us to be. The only problem was that they were very legalistic. They were connected to what a lot of people consider a cult. I didn't feel like personally I had to leave because of it, for I was legalising myself through their words and deeds. It was the Lord that told me that it was time to move on. Of course I met my husband shortly after I left and I couldn't ever feel any satisfaction anymore in the traditional church building or churchianity because I had experienced something more. I saw clearly how off the church was today, and ever since then I've been following the Lord. The only problem is that I feel like I'm in the desert now, with no way out. But I have decided to never blind myself to the truth because of my struggles. Never to take the easy complacient way, and to never fool myself into believing that there is something there that isn't. I believe God is faithful and I will not go ahead of him or his commands.

 

[Redneck Crow]

I mainly felt empty and frustrated while attending organized "church." Like something was missing. And it was!

I quit attending organized "church" because I became a Christian, and became part of the real church, the Body of Christ, as opposed to being part of an assembly which is much concerned with building funds and Vacation Bible School and Easter pagents and less concerned with fostering real growth in knowledge and understanding of God.

One of my own personal beliefs doesn't sit well with many members of organized "churches." You see, I believe that denominations are not something that God desires and that He intends for there to be one church, the entirety of the Body of Christ. I don't believe that God sees us as Catholics, Baptists, Lutherans, Episcopalians, or Whateverians.

I believe He sees all who have put their faith in Christ to be their savior as His. And those who have not as lost.

You might say that I'm post-denominational. And nope, that's not a new denomination. It's my freedom to fellowship with and learn from all members of the Body of Christ regardless of what denomination they may or not affiliate themselves with. It didn't come from any assembly or building or statement of faith. It's the freedom I have found in Jesus Christ.

 

[TheAJKMan]

So even as an adult we have to learn to TRUST GOD....and LOVE PEOPLE. And when the horrors hit coming from those we wrongfully put expectations on and mistakenly trusted...we have to cling to HIM and find where safe ground reallly is. WE've all got to learn it. Jesus didn't trust in men...he trusted in his Father and he loved mankind right to his death...proving his love for us. And he told us to do likewise. Our stand is for the truth...and for the love of the many He puts before us.

And therein lies some of my current quandry. Finding that safe ground, and ..... *sigh*..... lovng people. THat one aint always so easy. Well, guess I've still gotta a whole lotta growing to do

TheAJKMan

 

[genestealerbroodlord]

I was a member of a church, but due to a mistake i made i was excomunicated.

Im alittle nervous of churches now as i always believed that if you repent you are forgiven, instead i was abandened and told i was worthless(in a nice way).

I would love to be part of a church again but find it hard to put church and God together and if i have to make the choice; i will choose God every time.

 

[Qidron]

I would love to be part of a church again but find it hard to put church and God together and if i have to make the choice; i will choose God every time.

Hi, that's a good way to put it....and I agree. The word I keep getting from the Lord is to remain at rest where I am and not to try to make things start to happen. When it is time to DO something, He will put it clearly in the "doer" part of my heart.

Thank you very much for sharing.

 

[TheAJKMan]

When it is time to DO something, He will put it clearly in the "doer" part of my heart.

I agree with Qidron on this, but would also urge you to keep that heart of yours open and tender to the things of GOd, in spite of His wayward sheep. And some of us are more wayward than others P

TheAJKMan

 

[Qidron]

I agree with Qidron on this, but would also urge you to keep that heart of yours open and tender to the things of GOd, in spite of His wayward sheep. And some of us are more wayward than others P

TheAJKMan

yeah, agreed. The Lord has been showing me MY wayward ways lately. Argh. Ever see the movie Falling Down with Michael Douglas? At the end when he is caught he says with great sadness and revelation "I'M the bad guy?"

 

[TheAJKMan]

Qidron, our lives are a journey which we'll hopefully get better at as we proceed. Otherwise we may find ourselves wondering around in cirlces for 40 years or so

TheAJKMan

 

[BrandonGray]

When we moved to a different city about 1 1/2 years ago, we quit going to church. It wasn't too traumatic because there's lots of things to read and be active in on the internet or listen to on the radio. I still miss going to services though.

 

[Wizzer]

Did a traumatic experience make you unchurched?

Yes. I read the bible!

Wizzer

 

[Randombitsofstring]

For me it hasn’t been one particular “traumatic” event but all the pettiness and back biting. We’ve recently had several political sermons, about how we should vote in the fall elections, that we are to act as God’s shepherd’s of the people and the best way to do that is to put people in the Government who will see to it that His will is done. Personally I feel that God’s “will” will be done regardless of who is in the senate/congress. To think that he can not influence a local government sort of short changes God in my own view. But that main thing is that I don’t want a church telling me how I should vote—that is my own choice not their’s.

There is also the gossiping that gets on my nerves something awful—who’s doing what and who is wearing what. I’m beginning to feel that most of the ladies in the church I have been attending come not for the word of God, but to show off what they are wearing and to ridicule what someone else is wearing. The ladies bible study is more of a fashion show than a time for learning. It seems like the whole “pecking’ order in our church among the women is decided on who is dressed the nicest. No sympathy for those who can not afford expensive dresses or women like me who feel uncomfortable in dresses and usually wears dress slacks. And why do we even have a pecking order at all?

I wish I could say that this has been the only church I have been to that is like this, but most of the ones I’ve been in are like this. Granted though, I have only been to a few churches.

As for being “unchurched” I have not heard that term until I started visiting this site. 2 weeks ago I missed church deliberately—I felt guilty at first, but then decided to look for a new church—but last week my daughter was sick so I didn’t go out. And this morning—well I think I need a few weeks off from church all together. I don’t know if I am ready to give it up entirely—but I feel that I need to take a break so that if I ever do decide to find a new church I don’t go into it still feeling upset over the last one.

 

[IXOYE5]

I recently had a traumatic experience that kept me out of a church when I thought I finally had "come home" after many years of being away from them. Have you had one? If it is not fit to print here because of the restrictions you may send it to me via my website. Just click on my profile and then the site link. I will definitely handle it discreetly. If you want it posted on my site anonymously, I will consider posting it. I have some links to organizations that help in such matters but am looking for more. If you can help me in that way (you will be helping others as well), please send me a mail.

There is no name, tell them that I AM hath sent you. It was is His body, His blood, and His Word that was on the Cross. It is His Holy Spirit that leads us and teaches of the Deep things of God.

 

[YoungBerean]

After we left our church of over 7 years, we searched for another church. My husband and I were afraid of being "lone rangers". We were taught that if you weren't "plugged in" to a body (they meant, their church) that it was only a matter of time before you became "shipwrecked"--that is you would be decieved by Satan and walk away from your faith and make a disaster of your "walk". (hmmm, bible tells me that Jesus is the author, begininer and finisher of our faith).

So we visited another church. It was more insane. To make a long story short, the Pastor was "told by God" to return home to California. (we live in Connecticut) He put out an "ad" for other pastors in training for this denomination. Another couple from the south answered this ad. The current pastor announced to the church (while introducing them for the first time) that they were going to return to California after they sold their house. They announced that this new couple was sent to us by God to now take this church.

After only a few months, maybe 3; the new pastor and his wife went behind the current pastors' back to their old leadership--long story short--they manipulated the current pastor out of his position. So we are in this church, maybe for only a month and watch the current pastor tell his congregation that he was asked to step down by leadership of the denomination. The church is in tears, splits in front of our very eyes. Most go with the old pastor--2 or 3 families go with the new. (one family actually attended bible studies with both churches).

The old pastor is now "told by God" that he is not to go to California. That in fact God told him to do all of this to "expose the new pastor and his wife" for their evil intent to fleece God's people.

However, the denomination kept the new pastor and his wife having apparently been trying to "oust" this old pastor for a while.

The new pastor and his wife were extremely sexist and racist. They did not take the time to get to know people from around this area. They built a new group of people up and have been leading this church since September of this year.

A couple that we know who stayed with him just told me this week that last Sunday, the new pastor and his wife have been "told by God" to go to Washinton State. They are closing down the church.

So basically this new pastor and his wife were called by God to come to our state to split a church body???? and then leave a group of people without a "home"???

the old pastor is calling all those people to come join his church, now not affiliated with any denomination.

AND OH YEAH, we went with the old pastor. He lost his job in November. We were told that he was a cabinet maker. We hired him to do our kitchen. He gave us an estimate, was going to be done before christmas, we bought the supplies and paid him most of his money. He has left the job undone, refuses to return our calls and we are stuck. With out money to hire someone else and with cabinets all open, counter half in stalled.....


TRAUMATIC? This was after we left our abusive church.

We bought a "fixer upper" because we believe that we heard from God a long time ago to build a dream that we call Hannah's Haven. It will be a home for foster/adoptive children with special needs. Our home has 6 bedrooms and land around it. We are doing most of the work ourselves, money is tight. We were hoping to be licensed by the fall--now with the kitchen; I guess it is in "God's Hands"--what ever that means, I don't know anymore.

I am tired of people doing things that are dysfunctional, hurtful, spiteful all in His name. I am becoming to believe that this very thing; this division amonst His people and claiming "He said" is the very abomination at the alter that is spoke of....


and I am doubting that I ever heard from God to build Hannah's Haven....seems like a lot of people think that they "hear from God". Maybe we just all need a little prozac.

This is the fruit in my life of this experience that happened after we left the spiritually abusive church.

Love,

Jane

WOW all I have to say is WOW!!!

P.S. sister look for Gods Voice in his "WORD" the Bible and not in private visions and dreams. There you WILL find the truth. I will be praying for you.

 

[illudium_phosdex]

I can't say that I had any kind of traumatic experience. I was raised Methodist. When I was a teenager, I mostly went to the local Baptist church because that's where all my friends went. In college I went through an agnostic period after taking a few philosophy classes. Then after college, I got involved with the Unitarian Church and then the Baha'i faith. I was involved with them for several years. Once my daughter was born, I wanted to raise her closer to how I was raised. I also started feeling very much like the Baha'i's had missed something crucial.

Anywho, my husband and I both agreed that it wasn't all that it was cracked up to be and maybe we should return to our roots. So we started attending a small Holiness church in our community. We both liked it and that was what actually lead both of us actually, truly accepting Christ as our Lord and Savior. It was a wonderful little church and I do miss it. Though at times, I feel that our church attendance actually hindered our growth in the faith because it was so easy to go to church on Sunday and feel it was enough.

So anyway, last year we felt we had a calling to go to Alaska. We did "try" a couple of churches when we first got here but never really felt at home. There are a few reasons for this. I guess where my faith is concerned, I'm a bit of a fundimentalist but it galls me the way alot of fundimentalist churches are. Rampant with adultery, fornication, divorce...and it all gets overlooked.

I'm not saying I don't want to attend church with sinners. I mean we are all sinners but what I am saying is that when the head deacon is sleeping with the organist and everyone knows it and looks the other way, there is something wrong.

This is the reason I'm "unafiliated" at this time. Nothing traumatic at all.

 

[JesseRaymondBassett]

Hello,
In my case, I was not raised as a Christian. It wasn't until my teen years that I started attending SouthCross Community Church. Somehow my whole family got in on the idea and became Christians themselves through the process. Little did I Know this was the same church they left 20 years ago due to an 'incident'. When mom and I moved to Rosemount, I started to look for a closer church.
It was then I found Lighthouse Community Church. There is a lot of things with that church I disagree with. For starters the 'laying on of hands' is taken way to seriously there. Second, their worship songs are songs you'd hear on Christian radio nowadays. Third, most of the men I spend time with get all "holier-than-thou" on me. Which is sad because it brings me down.
Now I am apart of their Devoted Men of Prayer but I don't know how much longer I will belong there. It is there that I feel left out. The men, especially my friend Jeff bring me down by acting like they know everyone about Scripture and I know nothing. I am volunteering @ Lighthouse for Rosemount's "Leprechaun Days Festival" as a Sound/Tech and prayer team person but when I get the phone calls telling me what I'll be doing, I may just say no. There is too much junk going on in my life right now to be involved with a Church. As I repeatedly say... "the Church is the body, NOT a building". Am I someone who doesn't go to Church a lot? Yes. And the above states my reason why.

 

[Heart of a Seeker]

Definitely. I have been wandering, searching for a real church home,for a long time, but I take responsibility for that part.

I was a church treasurer for a few years and saw things that I couldn't justify as being "ok" or "truthful". This was in a "Spirit-filled" church. Then I was emotionally under attack by a 'friend' from this same church.

I've seen things that I never thought in a million years that I'd see being done by "Christians'. My walk with the Lord is so different than it was years ago. It's deeper and I'm more 'honest' with Him. He sees my heart and my motives. That isn't dependent on what others think a Christian should be or do. It's what God thinks of me that is most important to me now.

 

[Rick Otto]

I mean y'all sound like survivors at least.
Atlas, you seem to take in stride what might floor others.
Seekin', you seem to be coping well in spite of the junk.
Jesse seems to draw more on strength from within him than from others...


Wizzer gets the "Soul of Wit" award.

 

[Heart of a Seeker]

I mean y'all sound like survivors at least.
Atlas, you seem to take in stride what might floor others.
Seekin', you seem to be coping well in spite of the junk.
Jesse seems to draw more on strength from within him than from others...


Wizzer gets the "Soul of Wit" award.

I like the SURVIVOR part! Yes, and that only by the blood of Jesus. Where would we be if we didn't have Him to hang on to?
Thanks Jesus!!