DestroyedByNarcissistEx;SoAloneNow

[StillBelieve]

have you changed all your passwords? have you reformatted your computer and uninstalled any spyware? sounds like this is your ex. can you go to Best Buy and have them clean up your computer, so that he doesn't have access anymore?

Hello Nicedream!!
Yes, I have changed many passwords, but that doesn't always seem to matter. Ive been going thru this for a very long time now. There is no BestBuy in my area, but there is a Staples, and theres also another computer store that I think can help with things like that. Im probably going to be giving them a call.
But really, I just watch what I do online here , and what I type, and I go to the library on a semi-regular basis and use one of the pc's there becuz he can't see what Im doing on those. Im also going to talk to those pc people about what I can get, maybe a Tablet or??? to replace this laptop, becuz I think the hack is actually somehow connected to this computers I.D. number or something, so even if I go somewhere else and use their wifi, I think it would still be monitored. Ive read about that somewhere. He got this Apple macbook from his homosexual partner former boss!! That "partner" was turned against me big time becuz of my opinions about the both of them,
so I can't help but wonder………hmmmmm…….
Anyway, when I do get something else, I will make darn sure that it has the
absolute best security system on it!! After all, Im trying to get back into
school, and I will be needing it for that, so will need to make sure its
secure. Thank you so very much for your thoughts and concerns. Im still
struggling with the incredible sense of sorrow, sadness and guilt, even having memories of the few decent times we had together, but then all the negative ones come flooding in. Im still in constant prayer every day, literally all day, and with brethren like you keeping my situation in prayer, what more could I ask for? Can't thank you enough..

 

[brinny]

is he reading your posts?

 

[StillBelieve]

is he reading your posts?

I don't know for absolute positive, but it has seemed as though he has some "way" of just "knowing" what Ive done online, but so far, there doesn't seem to be anything sent to this website, but becuz it has been done before, thats why I put out a watch alert. If anyone on this website receives or reads anything that looks like its come from me, but makes me look really bad, and even gets me kicked off, I desperately need that evidence. Im going to be calling some pc people in town to see what they advise, and also changing the name on the internet service account, and it will be a brand new account with a new I.P., new wifi password, etc,etc. Im also planning on getting something else to do online with. I will no longer be using this macbook in the near future.

 

[brinny]

I'm wonderin' why you haven't already done this?

Continuing to pray for everyone's protection, and praying that God grants you extraordinary wisdom, discernment and clarity.

 

[StillBelieve]

I'm wonderin' why you haven't already done this?

Continuing to pray for everyone's protection.

I don't know. Don't even know how to describe how Ive been feeling for so long. My symptoms are so severe now, that it sort of makes me not feel like not doing anything and especially not wanting to actually have to face someone and talk to them. One of the symptoms is severe memory loss. I will get in my mind something I know I should do, but then it just goes away! And it doesn't come back to mind for however long. I am trying though to make a better effort at writing notes, etc, to get stuff done. I have my own "to do" list now. Its getting longer! Also, when he was still here and always around me, I could not go anywhere to do anything without him insisting that he go with me. Even when I went to the library! A lot of the times I still could not go onto certain blog sites like this, becuz he would be sitting right there next to me watching. I couldn't even go for my evening walks by myself becuz he insisted on walking with me, when I know he has no interest in that. I think he was actually worried about me meeting with someone and making a friend that would be on my side and help me. He ruined it for me with literally every single person I know. Only now, Im finally beginning to meet new people and make new friendships, but I can't breathe a word about them or their names to anyone else, especially over a phone or online. I think God is leading me to this group of people I just recently got into becuz they are Total Believers and are so nice and not judgmental, and thats what I need so desperately right now. Finally. I feel as if I can breathe again, and even live
again! OH and just like the song says, "I Walk Alone" now!

 

[brinny]

praying that God's inexplicable grace supersedes ALL things for you and that He protects and defends you and that any darts and plans from the enemy are thwarted. Praying also that He grants you extraordinary wisdom, discernment, and clarity. Father may it be so, in Jesus name, amen.

 

[StillBelieve]

Thank you so much, thank you…thank you……as I repeat this prayer, but asking it from me to Our Father……..in Jesus Holy Name……….thank you…bless you.

…(bless Brinny Father, for she cares……..)

 

[Honest Al]

Hi StillBelieve,

I know it won't be easy, but try to make these words of Christ your motto: "Remember Lot's wife." (i.e.--Don't look back)

I think NiceDream has been a true friend and has given you a lot of excellent advice.

My wife and I will be praying for you.

God Bless, and as Jesus also said, "Look up"

 

[nicedream]

when you are constantly being used by a narcissist for their "supply," you lose yourself. you don't always think about making the best decisions for yourself. you are thinking about their reaction. it can lead to inaction, because you are afraid of doing anything that might trigger their rage. it's frightening, and makes you doubt yourself. it is difficult to understand from the outside. it took me a long time to heal from the manipulation of the narcissists in my life. my very understanding husband helped me a lot. StillBelieve has been through a lot, emotionally. Rest up, take care of you, so that, one day, you will be ready to be with someone who truly loves and takes care of you, and realizes your GREAT worth to him. also, i will PM you my email address, if you want to talk about anything. and i will keep praying...

 

[Gods warrior 1]

Praying for you. God loves you. You are beautiful. Please google john mellor healing prayer. It goes for two minutes. God will heal your broken heart. God Bless

 

[StillBelieve]

Praying for you. God loves you. You are beautiful. Please google john mellor healing prayer. It goes for two minutes. God will heal your broken heart. God Bless

Thank you so very much, I just did this……………..
Thank God He's Alive! My heart is in smithereens and stomped and squished beneath ex's bootheels…….how I need our God and this prayer and back-up from my true brethren in Christ!!!!!