- Oct 26, 2017
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Hello, my name is Ivan; I'm a 21 year old male. I'm new to the forums so if this is the wrong place or I format wrong or something please let me know!
I signed up to this forum because I need advice from other Christians about a sensitive matter.
I have a strong desire to marry, and one day I hope to have that relationship with a loving Christian woman. But there is one thing that holds me back from seeking relationships: I feel VERY little physical pleasure. I know this sounds strange, and I won't go into details, but one time when I was 17 or so I was tempted and masturbated once, but it was not gratifying and I felt very little pleasure. My whole life, even to this day, I have never felt that much pleasure 'down there'. I have been to the doctor before, and everything showed up fine. On top of this, during the last few months I have developed some unknown condition in which that has rendered me partially impotent (I'm seeing my urologist next month, all I can do is pray it is nothing serious/permanent). On one hand, I'm thankful I don't struggle with masturbation because of this, but on the other hand this worries me greatly.
This worries me greatly, because an important component of marriage is physical intimacy expressed through sexual relations, which God designed. However, if I were to marry, when I would be intimate with my wife the pleasure would be very one sided. I will absolutely find pleasure and joy in serving her in that area, but I fear disappointing her if she tries to serve me. I know sex isn't everything/the main point of marriage, but it IS a crucial, unique part of it. The disappointment, hardship, and frustration that I would bring in physical intimacy aspect of my future marriage keeps me from dating, yet I have a strong passion to marry one day. Am I allowed and able to seek marriage, even with this sexual dysfunction? Would I be able to bring my future wife joy in the physical/emotional intimacy of our marriage, or would my problems be too much of a detriment? If it is okay for me to seek marriage, at what point in a relationship, and how, do I let a girl know about this problem? I don't want to not tell her and then disappoint her on our wedding day, leaving her with a life of unfulfilling and frustrating intimacy.
Thank you for taking your time to answer. I'm sorry if this was too graphic, I'll modify the post if it is. I just really need advice because I don't know what to do. I feel like I wasn't designed to feel and experience physical intimacy :/.
I signed up to this forum because I need advice from other Christians about a sensitive matter.
I have a strong desire to marry, and one day I hope to have that relationship with a loving Christian woman. But there is one thing that holds me back from seeking relationships: I feel VERY little physical pleasure. I know this sounds strange, and I won't go into details, but one time when I was 17 or so I was tempted and masturbated once, but it was not gratifying and I felt very little pleasure. My whole life, even to this day, I have never felt that much pleasure 'down there'. I have been to the doctor before, and everything showed up fine. On top of this, during the last few months I have developed some unknown condition in which that has rendered me partially impotent (I'm seeing my urologist next month, all I can do is pray it is nothing serious/permanent). On one hand, I'm thankful I don't struggle with masturbation because of this, but on the other hand this worries me greatly.
This worries me greatly, because an important component of marriage is physical intimacy expressed through sexual relations, which God designed. However, if I were to marry, when I would be intimate with my wife the pleasure would be very one sided. I will absolutely find pleasure and joy in serving her in that area, but I fear disappointing her if she tries to serve me. I know sex isn't everything/the main point of marriage, but it IS a crucial, unique part of it. The disappointment, hardship, and frustration that I would bring in physical intimacy aspect of my future marriage keeps me from dating, yet I have a strong passion to marry one day. Am I allowed and able to seek marriage, even with this sexual dysfunction? Would I be able to bring my future wife joy in the physical/emotional intimacy of our marriage, or would my problems be too much of a detriment? If it is okay for me to seek marriage, at what point in a relationship, and how, do I let a girl know about this problem? I don't want to not tell her and then disappoint her on our wedding day, leaving her with a life of unfulfilling and frustrating intimacy.
Thank you for taking your time to answer. I'm sorry if this was too graphic, I'll modify the post if it is. I just really need advice because I don't know what to do. I feel like I wasn't designed to feel and experience physical intimacy :/.