pantingdeer

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I am 19 and am a nobody. I have no friends and although I have a job which is good, it is pretty boring and don't want to do it much longer. I also go to university and do maths and even though I find this subject relatively straight forward if I study enough, I don't find it exciting at all - I picked it because my mother told me God gave me the gift for a reason.

I'm on summer break for university which lasts 5 months and since May I have sat in my room all day every day whenever I'm not working because I find it difficult to know what to do. If I do leave it's because I find a reason to leave like to get a haircut or to look at a pair of shoes but apart from that I finding reasons to do stuff is hard.

This behaviour of mine has made me think I'm depressed. I've lost interest in things and I'm always tired and bored. Nothing ever truly excites me or makes me happy - I just try to shield my sadness when doing 'fun' things. I also think I've become very lazy and so don't appreciate my job. I'd much rather run a few YouTube channels and talk about subjects that interest me or own my own company and work for myself. That would be my dream but unfortunately I have no skills in this area and wouldn't know where to start.

I've been very lonely as I have no friends. The group of people that were meant to be my so called friends haven't sent me a message in a month at least. I always sent one of them messages to hang out and the response was always an excuse. He was always too tired for me but no one else. This hurt me and so I stopped asking him and have never been texted back.

Also when I was 16 my attraction to women suddenly left me one day and never came back so I've felt dead inside since. I care for no one now - not even myself. I've had awful thoughts of even killing myself and family members but I assure you I wouldn't act on these.

I seem to live such a boring life where I have no joy. If anyone could help me find joy I'd appreciate it. I won't go to a doctor as I don't like the idea of physciatrists guessing what's going on in my brain.
 

Richard T

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Glad you introduced yourself and shared some of your problems. Seems to me you have too much time on your hands, hopefully things will improve once school starts again. Assuming you are born again, perhaps a more vibrant church could help you turn things around? Also, math is the basis for so many jobs, I pray you find more career focus so that you can start feeling better about your future occupation and calling. If you find your situation persists, then consider reshuffling the deck so to speak. Study abroad, try some things completely different, alter your living situation. For more detailed advice, consider using the advice forum. Never be afraid to seek counseling either. Many people do go through a dark period only to find that later things improve vastly.
 
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dqhall

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I am 19 and am a nobody. I have no friends and although I have a job which is good, it is pretty boring and don't want to do it much longer. I also go to university and do maths and even though I find this subject relatively straight forward if I study enough, I don't find it exciting at all - I picked it because my mother told me God gave me the gift for a reason.

I'm on summer break for university which lasts 5 months and since May I have sat in my room all day every day whenever I'm not working because I find it difficult to know what to do. If I do leave it's because I find a reason to leave like to get a haircut or to look at a pair of shoes but apart from that I finding reasons to do stuff is hard.

This behaviour of mine has made me think I'm depressed. I've lost interest in things and I'm always tired and bored. Nothing ever truly excites me or makes me happy - I just try to shield my sadness when doing 'fun' things. I also think I've become very lazy and so don't appreciate my job. I'd much rather run a few YouTube channels and talk about subjects that interest me or own my own company and work for myself. That would be my dream but unfortunately I have no skills in this area and wouldn't know where to start.

I've been very lonely as I have no friends. The group of people that were meant to be my so called friends haven't sent me a message in a month at least. I always sent one of them messages to hang out and the response was always an excuse. He was always too tired for me but no one else. This hurt me and so I stopped asking him and have never been texted back.

Also when I was 16 my attraction to women suddenly left me one day and never came back so I've felt dead inside since. I care for no one now - not even myself. I've had awful thoughts of even killing myself and family members but I assure you I wouldn't act on these.

I seem to live such a boring life where I have no joy. If anyone could help me find joy I'd appreciate it. I won't go to a doctor as I don't like the idea of physciatrists guessing what's going on in my brain.
You might try online dating just to get to meet a woman you might like to exchange ideas with on an intellectual or spiritual basis. There are also volunteer jobs that might put you with people. If not, that there is working and reading. Millions of articles on the Internet. God called some people to research. Familiarizing yourself with the Gospels might help. There are passages where welcoming and visiting people is emphasized.
 
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Outlook2018

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Hi Andrew98,

I'm sorry to read of your troubles. If I may, I'd like to say that if you're having thoughts of hurting yourself or others, you should speak with a professional counselor, or pastor. There is nothing wrong with asking for a little help and direction for your life. Being tired, and the lack of enthusiasm is often a culprit for depression, though you will have to speak with someone about that to be sure. I might add that the Lord has a purpose for you, and it appears that He has blessed you with a talent. I am sure with time, you will find a way to use that talent for others, whether it is your primary means of living or used for serving. Keep your eyes on the Lord, and spend some time with Him. Go for a walk and speak with Him. Let Him know what's on your heart, and listen to His reply. I will be praying for you.

Outlook2018
 
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Aurelian

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Andrew98,

Happiness is the chemical reward for hard work... so work hard. There is much to be learned beyond the horizon and much to create. You study maths, so try something beyond. Perhaps learn a language, craft a table, organize a juggling group on campus. It doesn't actually matter, but don't going looking for love. Love will come after you realize yourself, because two (usually naive) young people have the most intense love and hatred. You need to acknowledge that everything "enjoyable" you do is just a distraction. Humans like to distract themselves from death because we are indoctrinated with the idea that we may burn for an eternity... We will not.

If all else fails, you can kill yourself. I am not encouraging you to, or not to, but it is an option. If the idea of entering the void is better than what life can give you, leap into it.
 
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ItalianStallion

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Make an effort to get out. Have you ever felt awful alone, but later that day you're out doing something and you feel better? Start by going for walks, and don't give up finding your group of friends.

Lots of factors contribute to your situation (location, friendship, being single, age in life) but Christ can help you through your depression.

My advice: exercise 40 minutes each day, try to get enough sleep, eat a healthy diet (keep a normal BMI), and pray.
 
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