Depressed in seek of God, again

[RomEsS]

I have been a Christian for my whole life. Not all my life has been a strong believe in faith. I have cut my relationship with God before my university because of some girl, that I keep praying that I can have some relationship with her, yet I blame it all to God when it does not happen. However, as I went to study abroad for my master degree, as found my faith in God again, I am starting to working as a volunteer in church, joining a ministry, receiving a mentor, bible discussion, and others.

However, now I feel that this feeling of abandon by God come again. as again I have fallen for girl in Church, yet I am rejected again. Yet the same reason, I also pray to God to give me a path, a plan, to show me that he does exist in my life.

I am scared that my friend in church going to judge me for falling in love with my sister in church. my group leader and spiritual mentor ask me what happen, but i just scrub it off like it never happen. What I did only ask them to help her if she has a problem or feeling distress because of sudden confession. They did ask if I am okay, i lie to them saying that I am okay and they do not have to worried about a single thing.

I feel so lonely and desperate lately, I also got anxiety attack that make me want to scream, I just cannot take it anymore. I want to ask them for help so bad, yet i feel so scared of being judges for being a jerk and taking advantage of her (because she trust me so much, now we didnt talk anymore). Been crying and asking for both God presence and plan in my life. yet 1 week and I still have not receive what is he plan for me. I feel like clicking the abandon button again. I just do not know what to do.

I am thinking of community gathering and church this Friday and Sunday. by pretending that I am sick, but with the Coronavirus and 2 of my housemate is a strong christian (one of the leader in church), I feel like that kinda hard to be done. I want to leave again, but i just do not know what to do.

 

[Aussie Pete]

I have been a Christian for my whole life. Not all my life has been a strong believe in faith. I have cut my relationship with God before my university because of some girl, that I keep praying that I can have some relationship with her, yet I blame it all to God when it does not happen. However, as I went to study abroad for my master degree, as found my faith in God again, I am starting to working as a volunteer in church, joining a ministry, receiving a mentor, bible discussion, and others.

However, now I feel that this feeling of abandon by God come again. as again I have fallen for girl in Church, yet I am rejected again. Yet the same reason, I also pray to God to give me a path, a plan, to show me that he does exist in my life.

I am scared that my friend in church going to judge me for falling in love with my sister in church. my group leader and spiritual mentor ask me what happen, but i just scrub it off like it never happen. What I did only ask them to help her if she has a problem or feeling distress because of sudden confession. They did ask if I am okay, i lie to them saying that I am okay and they do not have to worried about a single thing.

I feel so lonely and desperate lately, I also got anxiety attack that make me want to scream, I just cannot take it anymore. I want to ask them for help so bad, yet i feel so scared of being judges for being a jerk and taking advantage of her (because she trust me so much, now we didnt talk anymore). Been crying and asking for both God presence and plan in my life. yet 1 week and I still have not receive what is he plan for me. I feel like clicking the abandon button again. I just do not know what to do.

I am thinking of community gathering and church this Friday and Sunday. by pretending that I am sick, but with the Coronavirus and 2 of my housemate is a strong christian (one of the leader in church), I feel like that kinda hard to be done. I want to leave again, but i just do not know what to do.

Running away from the problem will not solve it. Wherever you go, you take you with you. You need to lighten up with the gf thing. "Falling in love" is something under our own control. You need to make sure that the girl you are interested in is in some way interested in you.

"Lonely and desperate" is not what attracts girls especially. Confident and happy is more appealing. That is a spiritual issue and God can bring you to that place. But it's not automatic.

You need to know God better. A lot of Christians look for fulfilment in the wrong place - work, family, gf etc. If you find your contentment in the Lord, you will be better able to be a decent bf. If you knew God better, you'd know that He never leaves us or forsakes us.

Mark Gungor has a lot of of stuff on youtube that will help you. Look him up. He's very funny as well.

 

[Carl Emerson]

I have been a Christian for my whole life. Not all my life has been a strong believe in faith. I have cut my relationship with God before my university because of some girl, that I keep praying that I can have some relationship with her, yet I blame it all to God when it does not happen. However, as I went to study abroad for my master degree, as found my faith in God again, I am starting to working as a volunteer in church, joining a ministry, receiving a mentor, bible discussion, and others.

However, now I feel that this feeling of abandon by God come again. as again I have fallen for girl in Church, yet I am rejected again. Yet the same reason, I also pray to God to give me a path, a plan, to show me that he does exist in my life.

I am scared that my friend in church going to judge me for falling in love with my sister in church. my group leader and spiritual mentor ask me what happen, but i just scrub it off like it never happen. What I did only ask them to help her if she has a problem or feeling distress because of sudden confession. They did ask if I am okay, i lie to them saying that I am okay and they do not have to worried about a single thing.

I feel so lonely and desperate lately, I also got anxiety attack that make me want to scream, I just cannot take it anymore. I want to ask them for help so bad, yet i feel so scared of being judges for being a jerk and taking advantage of her (because she trust me so much, now we didnt talk anymore). Been crying and asking for both God presence and plan in my life. yet 1 week and I still have not receive what is he plan for me. I feel like clicking the abandon button again. I just do not know what to do.

I am thinking of community gathering and church this Friday and Sunday. by pretending that I am sick, but with the Coronavirus and 2 of my housemate is a strong christian (one of the leader in church), I feel like that kinda hard to be done. I want to leave again, but i just do not know what to do.

The deepest work He does is in the relationship department.

Walk through it in truth and refuse fear - be honest and open - trust Him to work good through the pain - He gave us an example to follow - to trust when defenceless - good will come out of it...

 

[Amittai]

Pinch yourself before you get up and pinch yourself before you meet that guy in the kitchen. Trust in your God-given integrity to not crumble into dust when he's around. If you can signal calmly and indirectly that you can talk about what you want, when you're ready, hopefully he'll not be so intent on pushing & prying. If you can trust God, maybe he will too!

 

[RomEsS]

Running away from the problem will not solve it. Wherever you go, you take you with you. You need to lighten up with the gf thing. "Falling in love" is something under our own control. You need to make sure that the girl you are interested in is in some way interested in you.

"Lonely and desperate" is not what attracts girls especially. Confident and happy is more appealing. That is a spiritual issue and God can bring you to that place. But it's not automatic.

You need to know God better. A lot of Christians look for fulfilment in the wrong place - work, family, gf etc. If you find your contentment in the Lord, you will be better able to be a decent bf. If you knew God better, you'd know that He never leaves us or forsakes us.

Mark Gungor has a lot of of stuff on youtube that will help you. Look him up. He's very funny as well.

The deepest work He does is in the relationship department.

Walk through it in truth and refuse fear - be honest and open - trust Him to work good through the pain - He gave us an example to follow - to trust when defenceless - good will come out of it...

Pinch yourself before you get up and pinch yourself before you meet that guy in the kitchen. Trust in your God-given integrity to not crumble into dust when he's around. If you can signal calmly and indirectly that you can talk about what you want, when you're ready, hopefully he'll not be so intent on pushing & prying. If you can trust God, maybe he will too!

Thanks for the great answer. Sorry for my late reply, I actually read it but I just does not feel like to replying because of the problem.

I did talk to God and my church community leader about it, they give me a great suggestion. I actually become closer to God as he give me his plan to improve my personality. Thanks God that he actually still cared and heal me in my pain.

I really appreciate the answer .

 

[DLovingBrother]

I can see that you are a “young Christian” even if you have been a Christian for years. Your relationship with Jesus seems to be conditioned on getting what you want, so when you don’t get the girl you feel abandoned. You need to understand that He is God, sovereign and your life will become full when you align your plans and thinking with His plan and will. You asked for God’s presence and plan, 1 week is not enough. It might take years, 5 years, 10 years, depending on how deep your relationship with Him is growing. If you really read the scriptures, you will find His presence. Here are some websites that you might consider listening to. https://www.intouch.org/, Turning Point with Dr. David Jeremiah, Harvest.org | Greg Laurie Be patient, the fruit of the spirit includes patience or longsuffering.