Depressed as don't have feelings for women - please help

[pantingdeer]

Hi there, over the past 3 years my life has taken a turn for the worse. I am a very studious person and have some interests however I feel very sad as I am missing something very important - my attraction to women. One day when I was 17 I just seemingly felt much less attracted to women and I thought I was going through a short phase as I was very attracted to women at the time.
This led to me doing bad things to 'test' myself and it probably made me scared as I couldn't get it up to be honest and didn't feel honest desire inside.
This has been no phase as three years on I feel exactly the same way - I can recognise beauty of woman but I get no feelings of attraction to them and no racing heart when thinking or speaking to woman. This makes me very sad as I see lovely women all the time who I know I would previously have been very attracted to but now I feel close to nothing.
This has destroyed my confidence and now have close friends and thus very lonely and obviously no girlfriend as I can never approach girl and be with her as I couldn't please her.
All I want is to have my natural old desires back of women so that I would be able to live happily with a female companion.
NB: I'm not gay before someone asks. I just feel empty as my strong physical attraction to women went from 100% to 10%.
You may think it makes me a shallow person that this makes me extremely sad but all I want is to feel that connection again that I've lost. I'm a top achiever at my university and have lots of interests but would give it all up if I meant I could have my old feelings back - that's how much I want to find female companion. I've even had terrible thoughts of doing bad things to myself as I'm sad but I wouldn't do it.

I've posted a couple of threads on here asking for help but many of the time I don't get the answers I am wanting. Please do not mention celibacy to me as I am not interested in that lifestyle. Please try to empathise with me instead of telling me that it isn't a big deal - because it is to me at least.

Please pray for my healing and that I will be able to have feelings for woman again.

Thank you

 

[Ttalkkugjil]

Hi there, over the past 3 years my life has taken a turn for the worse. I am a very studious person and have some interests however I feel very sad as I am missing something very important - my attraction to women. One day when I was 17 I just seemingly felt much less attracted to women and I thought I was going through a short phase as I was very attracted to women at the time.
This led to me doing bad things to 'test' myself and it probably made me scared as I couldn't get it up to be honest and didn't feel honest desire inside.
This has been no phase as three years on I feel exactly the same way - I can recognise beauty of woman but I get no feelings of attraction to them and no racing heart when thinking or speaking to woman. This makes me very sad as I see lovely women all the time who I know I would previously have been very attracted to but now I feel close to nothing.
This has destroyed my confidence and now have close friends and thus very lonely and obviously no girlfriend as I can never approach girl and be with her as I couldn't please her.
All I want is to have my natural old desires back of women so that I would be able to live happily with a female companion.
NB: I'm not gay before someone asks. I just feel empty as my strong physical attraction to women went from 100% to 10%.
You may think it makes me a shallow person that this makes me extremely sad but all I want is to feel that connection again that I've lost. I'm a top achiever at my university and have lots of interests but would give it all up if I meant I could have my old feelings back - that's how much I want to find female companion. I've even had terrible thoughts of doing bad things to myself as I'm sad but I wouldn't do it.

I've posted a couple of threads on here asking for help but many of the time I don't get the answers I am wanting. Please do not mention celibacy to me as I am not interested in that lifestyle. Please try to empathise with me instead of telling me that it isn't a big deal - because it is to me at least.

Please pray for my healing and that I will be able to have feelings for woman again.

Thank you

What answers are you wanting?

 

[RaymondG]

I've seen this topic a few times. I'm not understanding why you feel that being less aroused around women is a negative thing. Why do you desire to have sexual thought whenever woman are around? Why do you desire to have to fight thought concerning women, that many struggle with daily, to their own detriment?

Why do you want this?

 

[pantingdeer]

I've seen this topic a few times. I'm not understanding why you feel that being less aroused around women is a negative thing. Why do you desire to have sexual thought whenever woman are around? Why do you desire to have to fight thought concerning women, that many struggle with daily, to their own detriment?

Why do you want this?

I want to be attracted to women like in past so I can have a true female companion that I can enjoy lifetime with to full experiencia

 

[Ttalkkugjil]

I want to be attracted to women like in past so I can have a true female companion that I can enjoy lifetime with to full experiencia

So you want to return to the past rather than living in your current reality. Do you have high Si?

 

[com7fy8]

Hi, Andrew > I am glad to see you, again. God bless you >

One day when I was 17 I just seemingly felt much less attracted to women and I thought I was going through a short phase as I was very attracted to women at the time.

no feelings of attraction to them and no racing heart when thinking or speaking to woman

I see lovely women all the time who I know I would previously have been very attracted to

Jesus wants us to love and care for every woman; because God is all-loving. So, first we need to be interested in having compassion and tender caring for every woman > so we can love in His Christian way >

"Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." (Ephesians 4:31-32)

So, in case your interest has been only in what women look like, this is possibly what God's love will not keep alive and so it could die because it is only or mainly about what a woman looks like.

Jesus had very beautiful and wonderful relationships with a number of ladies who knew who He is and appreciated Him. The attraction was not about what He looked like or what they looked like.

What if God has a genuinely loving lady for you, but she is not lovely and gorgeous like a lot of unhappy and ruined women are? If you judge her by what she looks like, you could miss out on having genuine love with her. Sometimes, a less attractive looking woman has learned better how to relate and communicate and feel for other people, because she has not been using beauty to get her attention and approval. And the approval she can get can be more genuine, with people who care most of all about a person's heart and character.

There are women who are so very beautiful looking, but they have not learned how to relate, since they have been able to use their beauty and charm to get them somewhere. But in marriage, this does not last and they can fail in being able to communicate and share as family. And what can happen is their men can find woman who are not so attractive, but they can communicate and feel of others . . . to sympathize and empathize; and these men might actually cheat with such women who are less attractive than their extravagantly beautiful wives.

Of course, a less beautiful woman will not cheat with such a man who is someone else's husband, if she is Christian and has compassion. She will try to help him learn how to love his own wife, and be her example to help her learn with him.

And if you have compassion, you can care about the women who are very attractive but who have not learned how to get somewhere in God's all-loving love. They are likely to even hope you will be impressed with what they will look like, wanting you to fool yourself like this, even. And they might be very concerned with what you look like and how much money you can make. But Jesus cares about such people.

You might look at how Jesus related with women, even ones who were foolish and ruined > Jesus had hope for them > love "hopes all things" (in 1 Corinthians 13:7). Thank You, God, in the name of Jesus Your Son. And pray for God to make . . . us all, not only you, please . . . how He wants us to see and love and care for each and every woman.

 

[pantingdeer]

Hi, Andrew > I am glad to see you, again. God bless you >



Jesus wants us to love and care for every woman; because God is all-loving. So, first we need to be interested in having compassion and tender caring for every woman > so we can love in His Christian way >

"Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." (Ephesians 4:31-32)

So, in case your interest has been only in what women look like, this is possibly what God's love will not keep alive and so it could die because it is only or mainly about what a woman looks like.

Jesus had very beautiful and wonderful relationships with a number of ladies who knew who He is and appreciated Him. The attraction was not about what He looked like or what they looked like.

What if God has a genuinely loving lady for you, but she is not lovely and gorgeous like a lot of unhappy and ruined women are? If you judge her by what she looks like, you could miss out on having genuine love with her. Sometimes, a less attractive looking woman has learned better how to relate and communicate and feel for other people, because she has not been using beauty to get her attention and approval. And the approval she can get can be more genuine, with people who care most of all about a person's heart and character.

There are women who are so very beautiful looking, but they have not learned how to relate, since they have been able to use their beauty and charm to get them somewhere. But in marriage, this does not last and they can fail in being able to communicate and share as family. And what can happen is their men can find woman who are not so attractive, but they can communicate and feel of others . . . to sympathize and empathize; and these men might actually cheat with such women who are less attractive than their extravagantly beautiful wives.

Of course, a less beautiful woman will not cheat with such a man who is someone else's husband, if she is Christian and has compassion. She will try to help him learn how to love his own wife, and be her example to help her learn with him.

And if you have compassion, you can care about the women who are very attractive but who have not learned how to get somewhere in God's all-loving love. They are likely to even hope you will be impressed with what they will look like, wanting you to fool yourself like this, even. And they might be very concerned with what you look like and how much money you can make. But Jesus cares about such people.

You might look at how Jesus related with women, even ones who were foolish and ruined > Jesus had hope for them > love "hopes all things" (in 1 Corinthians 13:7). Thank You, God, in the name of Jesus Your Son. And pray for God to make . . . us all, not only you, please . . . how He wants us to see and love and care for each and every woman.

But if I am not attracted to her how am I meant to give her child?