Hi all,
I am new to this so forgive me if I do something wrong. I have been depressed for 20 years or so. Its all around life and God. I have been let down so many times from prayer that I thought would get answered only to find the same thing.....nothing. I do love Jesus so much but I feel like God ignores me and I have a constant fear that I'm going to Hell. My job, even though it pays the bills, is something that gets me really depressed. I have got so much debt cause everytime I get depressed I charge something or buy something. I don't know why God continues to be silent with me...it has gotten me to the point where I don't want to pray anymore. I have tried to kill myself and I have been in and out of behavioral health centers. I'm on meds and meds galore. It has been a very long time since I've had hope of life getting any better. I am a housekeeper at a hospital and its very demanding and I'm not the best cleaner but they pay very well and have good insurance. But everytime I go to work or think about it I get depressed. Does life get better at some point cause I'm tired of everything.
I am new to this so forgive me if I do something wrong. I have been depressed for 20 years or so. Its all around life and God. I have been let down so many times from prayer that I thought would get answered only to find the same thing.....nothing. I do love Jesus so much but I feel like God ignores me and I have a constant fear that I'm going to Hell. My job, even though it pays the bills, is something that gets me really depressed. I have got so much debt cause everytime I get depressed I charge something or buy something. I don't know why God continues to be silent with me...it has gotten me to the point where I don't want to pray anymore. I have tried to kill myself and I have been in and out of behavioral health centers. I'm on meds and meds galore. It has been a very long time since I've had hope of life getting any better. I am a housekeeper at a hospital and its very demanding and I'm not the best cleaner but they pay very well and have good insurance. But everytime I go to work or think about it I get depressed. Does life get better at some point cause I'm tired of everything.