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Depressed and losing faith

Depressed365

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Hi all,
I am new to this so forgive me if I do something wrong. I have been depressed for 20 years or so. Its all around life and God. I have been let down so many times from prayer that I thought would get answered only to find the same thing.....nothing. I do love Jesus so much but I feel like God ignores me and I have a constant fear that I'm going to Hell. My job, even though it pays the bills, is something that gets me really depressed. I have got so much debt cause everytime I get depressed I charge something or buy something. I don't know why God continues to be silent with me...it has gotten me to the point where I don't want to pray anymore. I have tried to kill myself and I have been in and out of behavioral health centers. I'm on meds and meds galore. It has been a very long time since I've had hope of life getting any better. I am a housekeeper at a hospital and its very demanding and I'm not the best cleaner but they pay very well and have good insurance. But everytime I go to work or think about it I get depressed. Does life get better at some point cause I'm tired of everything.
 

Watchman1

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Hi all,
I am new to this so forgive me if I do something wrong. I have been depressed for 20 years or so. Its all around life and God. I have been let down so many times from prayer that I thought would get answered only to find the same thing.....nothing. I do love Jesus so much but I feel like God ignores me and I have a constant fear that I'm going to Hell. My job, even though it pays the bills, is something that gets me really depressed. I have got so much debt cause everytime I get depressed I charge something or buy something. I don't know why God continues to be silent with me...it has gotten me to the point where I don't want to pray anymore. I have tried to kill myself and I have been in and out of behavioral health centers. I'm on meds and meds galore. It has been a very long time since I've had hope of life getting any better. I am a housekeeper at a hospital and its very demanding and I'm not the best cleaner but they pay very well and have good insurance. But everytime I go to work or think about it I get depressed. Does life get better at some point cause I'm tired of everything.
Because you have received Christ as your Saviour, this is who you are in Christ:

I am:
A child of God
A new creation in Christ
Jesus is my brother
Seated with Jesus at the right hand of God
Part of the family of God
Totally righteous in Christ
Not under any condemnation at all
Filled with the Holy Spirit
Blessed with every spiritual blessing in heavenly places
Have all authority over the devil and his demons
Able to come boldly to the throne of grace to find mercy and grace to help in time of need
Jesus is my refuge and strength, a very present help in time of trouble
The law of the Spirit of life has set me free from the law of sin and death
Jesus has set me free from the body of death
My sins have been removed from you as far as the east is from the west.
God has buried my sins in the deepest sea of His forgetfulness and put up a sign, "No fishing!"

Also, make these statements before God:

The armour of God is for, to provide me with the weapons of my warfare.
I have the helmet of salvation as a born again Christian,
I have the breastplate of the righteousness of Christ which has been given to me as a free gift from God,
I have the shield of faith to quench the fiery darts of the enemy,
I have the belt of truth - the foundation of God's Word,
My feet are shod with the gospel of peace.
I also have the sword of the Spirit, using the Word of God as a weapon against the doubts and fears the enemy would attack me in my mind,
I have the weapon of all-prayer, in which I can pour out my heart to God. The book of Psalms is a good guide about what to pray, and I am going to turn the psalms into my personal prayers.

When you make this confession to the Lord, you are building up your faith in Christ. A well-known pastor once said, "When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on!"

The first step to victory over your struggles is to confess who you are in Christ. That lays the foundation of faith. Then, on that foundation, you can come boldly to God's throne of grace to pour out your heart, telling him about all the struggles you are having, how you are feeling, that you have lost faith and trust in everything except Christ, and you are going to hang on to Him with everything you have got.

Sometimes we have to get to rock bottom to realise that Jesus is all we have in this life and He is actually all we need. The Scripture says, "In all the thoughts that I have, your encouragements uplift my soul." (my paraphrase).
 
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God is good

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Because you have received Christ as your Saviour, this is who you are in Christ:

I am:
A child of God
A new creation in Christ
Jesus is my brother
Seated with Jesus at the right hand of God
Part of the family of God
Totally righteous in Christ
Not under any condemnation at all
Filled with the Holy Spirit
Blessed with every spiritual blessing in heavenly places
Have all authority over the devil and his demons
Able to come boldly to the throne of grace to find mercy and grace to help in time of need
Jesus is my refuge and strength, a very present help in time of trouble
The law of the Spirit of life has set me free from the law of sin and death
Jesus has set me free from the body of death
My sins have been removed from you as far as the east is from the west.
God has buried my sins in the deepest sea of His forgetfulness and put up a sign, "No fishing!"

Also, make these statements before God:

The armour of God is for, to provide me with the weapons of my warfare.
I have the helmet of salvation as a born again Christian,
I have the breastplate of the righteousness of Christ which has been given to me as a free gift from God,
I have the shield of faith to quench the fiery darts of the enemy,
I have the belt of truth - the foundation of God's Word,
My feet are shod with the gospel of peace.
I also have the sword of the Spirit, using the Word of God as a weapon against the doubts and fears the enemy would attack me in my mind,
I have the weapon of all-prayer, in which I can pour out my heart to God. The book of Psalms is a good guide about what to pray, and I am going to turn the psalms into my personal prayers.

When you make this confession to the Lord, you are building up your faith in Christ. A well-known pastor once said, "When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on!"

The first step to victory over your struggles is to confess who you are in Christ. That lays the foundation of faith. Then, on that foundation, you can come boldly to God's throne of grace to pour out your heart, telling him about all the struggles you are having, how you are feeling, that you have lost faith and trust in everything except Christ, and you are going to hang on to Him with everything you have got.

Sometimes we have to get to rock bottom to realise that Jesus is all we have in this life and He is actually all we need. The Scripture says, "In all the thoughts that I have, your encouragements uplift my soul." (my paraphrase).
That was an amazing post, God bless you and Jesus is Lord.
 
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Watchman1

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That was an amazing post, God bless you and Jesus is Lord.
If sharing that turns at least one person from depression then I am richly blessed!!!
 
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Basil the Great

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Depressed365 - I fought situational depression off and on for 20-25 years. The best solution that I ever read about is to find someway to help others in need and pursue it. Possible ways include volunteering at a local hospital or homeless shelter or food pantry or maybe doing odd jobs for a disabled neighbor or an elderly neighbor. I befriended an elderly single man at church for 10 years and this did help me deal with my depression. Sadly, for some people, depression is an inherited illness and may last a very long time. There are a variety of treatments and solutions available. No one approach works for everyone.

I cannot tell you why God allows some people to endure depression for many years, just like I do not know why others face physical pain and limitations for decades. The bottom line is that life is difficult for most of us at times in our lives. Some may have it a little easier than others, but we all must face hardships of one kind or another. Many prayers go unanswered. Why, we do not know, but this is the truth of the matter, despite what some in Christian Forums may claim. Regardless of our circumstances, it is critical that we trust God and live life one day at a time and live it in a manner that honors Him, to the best of our human ability.

May God send you His peace!
 
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Mark Quayle

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Hi all,
I am new to this so forgive me if I do something wrong. I have been depressed for 20 years or so. Its all around life and God. I have been let down so many times from prayer that I thought would get answered only to find the same thing.....nothing. I do love Jesus so much but I feel like God ignores me and I have a constant fear that I'm going to Hell. My job, even though it pays the bills, is something that gets me really depressed. I have got so much debt cause everytime I get depressed I charge something or buy something. I don't know why God continues to be silent with me...it has gotten me to the point where I don't want to pray anymore. I have tried to kill myself and I have been in and out of behavioral health centers. I'm on meds and meds galore. It has been a very long time since I've had hope of life getting any better. I am a housekeeper at a hospital and its very demanding and I'm not the best cleaner but they pay very well and have good insurance. But everytime I go to work or think about it I get depressed. Does life get better at some point cause I'm tired of everything.

There are as many different Nazarenes as there are people in the Nazarene denomination, so I can only guess about some of what your thinking is based on. I wish I could tell you what worked for me, but I don't think you could identify. I will tell you what has given me security as far as my salvation goes: It is the knowledge that it is the work of God, not of my own decision. And that no matter what else happens, the Judge of all the world will do what is right. While my feelings about it might depend to some degree on my obedience and other signs, the truth is that only God can judge, just as only God can give me the gift of saving faith --it is not of my own effort.

I don't know if this will help you either, but it is a fact that God uses everybody, even when they don't know it, and even when they purposely try to oppose him and disobey. I have thought often how some of the most self-important people were prophets, I think of Alexander Cruden, who was in and out of insane asylums, going mad over unrequited love, it seems, but assembled Cruden's concordance, one of the best and most useful, and I think enlightened, concordances ever, working on it as a sort of therapy.

God may, and he may not pull you out of this. But like Job said, "though he slay me, yet will I praise him." I feel the same way, the last few years, because I realize this life is not about me. I am not the one who needs to be satisfied, to feel relevant, interested in life, or anything else. I have come to know God who made this whole messed up world for his own sake --not for my sake, though I get to watch.

I hope something in there is useful to you. For God's sake, and to your own joy in him.
 
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Jeshu

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Sorry to hear that you also suffer from depression, it has been my life long affliction as well.

The only way to build up resistance against life long depression is to build on the promises of God to you and not on your negative thinking. This is a very difficult thing to do but does pay dividends.

For years i was stuck in my pit thinking God had condemned me to die down there and was ready to kill myself. It was rock bottom that i realised i was heeding unscriptural thoughts and had been doing that for years. So i decided to build my psyche on God's word and it made a lot of difference of the years. i still struggle with depression but don't have to be stuck in my pit but can find new life in him and with him.

i found that volunteers work is also really good or any kind of work with people who are suffering hardships, it puts perspective on our own situation and we often have learned to survive more than we may think at first and then we see that we still have value.

So yes fight the guilt, shame, hopelessness, sadness, bitterness, anger and fear with love kindness, gentleness and self control and see for yourself that will make a world of difference in how we experience depression.

Be of good courage with Jesus even depression can be beaten.

Peace.
 
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Tempura

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God's grace is far greater than all of your/our fears combined. Christ's sacrifice has more power than your desperation or fear of hell. We shouldn't think of Christ on the cross as just a story, but as something with absolute relevance. Those sins Christ was crucified for, they're real. His victory over all kinds of darkness and horrors is real, and we don't have to do anything else but to simply believe it. The enemy will of course use our fears, worries and guilt against us. When that happens, we become hopeless and terrified. But let the feelings come, they can't do anything else but to try and scare you. They're powerless beyond that, and God has all power over them or us. We don't have to look for miracle healings. We can just train ourselves to believe and put our hopes in God. It's the simplest thing, and often a decision when we just can't feel that faith. We can decide to hope in Christ's name. And the more we do that, the more we will, in time, feel it too (although feelings come and go, and they're not worth chasing by themselves). And, when we train ourselves to hope this way, we will eventually notice how much better we can deal with our fears, sorrows and worries.

Sometimes we have to be absolutely disappointed by everything we do, by everything around us, to understand our situation better, and to fully depend on God, because there are simply no alternatives left. That is one way how we die to this world. It doesn't mean that we should stop caring about life or other people or everything good about the world, it means that step by step we start to endure troubles better because we believe this isn't our final resting place, and we will set our sights into the next world instead of this one. So whatever troubles come, we can take it. We should also remember what troubles many followers of Christ (and especially Christ Himself!) had to endure. We are not guaranteed easy lives or everlasting happiness while we're here. Some get it better, some get it worse. But everyone has the same rock they can lean on, and many times those who have it worse, they know their rock better. Because they absolutely had to depend on that rock which is Jesus Christ, and the more they lean on that rock, more hopeful they will become.

God hasn't abandoned you, and He never will. Said a prayer for you. I hope you get good treatment, and spiritual guidance. May God lift your burdens and comfort you.
 
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Angeleyes7715

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Hi all,
I am new to this so forgive me if I do something wrong. I have been depressed for 20 years or so. Its all around life and God. I have been let down so many times from prayer that I thought would get answered only to find the same thing.....nothing. I do love Jesus so much but I feel like God ignores me and I have a constant fear that I'm going to Hell. My job, even though it pays the bills, is something that gets me really depressed. I have got so much debt cause everytime I get depressed I charge something or buy something. I don't know why God continues to be silent with me...it has gotten me to the point where I don't want to pray anymore. I have tried to kill myself and I have been in and out of behavioral health centers. I'm on meds and meds galore. It has been a very long time since I've had hope of life getting any better. I am a housekeeper at a hospital and its very demanding and I'm not the best cleaner but they pay very well and have good insurance. But everytime I go to work or think about it I get depressed. Does life get better at some point cause I'm tired of everything.

I wish I had something to say to help you. I feel exactly like you do though. I just pray it gets better. You aren't alone.
 
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