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Depersonalization/Derealization

MustardSeeed

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Depersonalization-derealization disorder - Overview

It's not talked about much. I've had a few really scary episodes. It's really indescribable the feeling that I get and really terrifying

I have to repeat my name and other facts about myself over and over to get me back to a point where I stop panicking and feel "myself" again and in the real world

Anyone else experience this?

This is also a really informative video about a guy who experienced DPDR after reacting to a vaccine. It's such a scary feeling but he describes it perfectly

 

amariselle

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Hi MustardSeeed,

I've experienced this throughout my struggle with anxiety, especially in my early to mid 20s. I think in some ways it's changed the way I feel about myself ever since I first experienced it. During my time in counseling I had described it as best I could, basically, I could still remember everything, but in some ways I felt like all those memories had happened to someone else. I still kind of get that way sometimes, especially since moving to the U.S. from Canada. The stress of moving and being really homesick and far away from my family has made my anxiety somewhat worse again.

It's interesting that you mention repeating your name and other things about yourself over and over again. I've done that exact same thing, usually when I was in the middle of a panic attack and everything felt terrifying and far away/disconnected.

You're definitely not alone in this. How have you been doing recently?
 
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Bluerose31

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Depersonalization-derealization disorder - Overview

It's not talked about much. I've had a few really scary episodes. It's really indescribable the feeling that I get and really terrifying

I have to repeat my name and other facts about myself over and over to get me back to a point where I stop panicking and feel "myself" again and in the real world

Anyone else experience this?

This is also a really informative video about a guy who experienced DPDR after reacting to a vaccine. It's such a scary feeling but he describes it perfectly

Thank you for sharing this. I do have times where I feel out of my body because of the abuse done to my body during my torture.
 
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MustardSeeed

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Hi MustardSeeed,

I've experienced this throughout my struggle with anxiety, especially in my early to mid 20s. I think in some ways it's changed the way I feel about myself ever since I first experienced it.
Thanks for your response. I'm in my early 20s right now and from what I've read, it becomes much more rare in the 30s and into adulthood. I do feel different as well. It's such a weird feeling to experience
During my time in counseling I had described it as best I could, basically, I could still remember everything, but in some ways I felt like all those memories had happened to someone else. I still kind of get that way sometimes, especially since moving to the U.S. from Canada. The stress of moving and being really homesick and far away from my family has made my anxiety somewhat worse again.
My doc did tell me that I could see a therapist anytime I wanted but not for DPDR. I haven't told anyone because I didn't really know what was really happening... or if it was real thing lol. I have been considering counselling but then I am afraid that I'll get emotionally attached to my therapist lol
I also plan to move to the USA from Canada. I can see how being homesick and having anxiety can make it worse. How did you adjust to moving?
It's interesting that you mention repeating your name and other things about yourself over and over again. I've done that exact same thing, usually when I was in the middle of a panic attack and everything felt terrifying and far away/disconnected. You're definitely not alone in this.
I'm glad! That makes me feel so much better and less alone. The episodes don't last long for me and they always happen at night when I'm trying to go to sleep. That's exactly how it feels ... far and disconnected and terrifying
How have you been doing recently?
I pretty much have the episodes once in a blue moon. The last time was probably in May. Praying and reading the Bible helps a lot. It has never effected my life in terms of school/work/etc. so it's not persistent. Thanks for asking :)
 
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MustardSeeed

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Thank you for sharing this. I do have times where I feel out of my body because of the abuse done to my body during my torture.

No problem :) I'm sorry that happened to you :(
I never feel the "out of my body" part. For me, I feel disconnected and far in my mind but not really in terms of my body. I feel very in my body but incredulous at my own existence
 
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amariselle

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Thanks for your response. I'm in my early 20s right now and from what I've read, it becomes much more rare in the 30s and into adulthood. I do feel different as well. It's such a weird feeling to experience
Agreed. It is one of the most troubling things about what I've experienced with my anxiety disorder. When I was in counseling, my counselor told me that it wasn't uncommon.

My doc did tell me that I could see a therapist anytime I wanted but not for DPDR.

Did your doctor explain why you couldn't see a therapist for your DPDR? I was able to discuss this with my counselor, perhaps you could find someone who would be willing to address this with you.


I haven't told anyone because I didn't really know what was really happening... or if it was real thing lol. I have been considering counselling but then I am afraid that I'll get emotionally attached to my therapist lol

It can be difficult to reach out and ask for help. I never wanted to talk with anyone, mostly because I didn't want to tell a complete stranger my personal problems. When I hit rock bottom, however, I knew I needed to ask for help and do my best to find it. It can be hard to find a good counselor that you also feel comfortable with, but they're out there, and some of them have dealt with anxiety personally as well, as mine had. This gives them a better understanding of where you're coming from and greater empathy than someone who hasn't lived it.

I also plan to move to the USA from Canada. I can see how being homesick and having anxiety can make it worse. How did you adjust to moving?

I moved to the U.S. to get married to my now husband. It was the most difficult thing I have done in many ways. I was always very much a "home" person, and moving so far away from my family and friends has really been hard. Thankfully my husband has been a great support, he knows all about my anxiety and did long before we were married. I'm still adjusting though, and I also went from living out in the country to living in a busy city on one of the busiest streets, so that has been quite overwhelming as well.

When are you planning on moving? (If you don't mind my asking)

I'm glad! That makes me feel so much better and less alone.

Yes, I remember how comforting it was to find out that what I was going through was not something unheard of, and that there are many who have been through the same things, even if their stories aren't exactly like mine and even though I wouldn't wish it on anyone, it's still reassuring to know you're not alone.

The episodes don't last long for me and they always happen at night when I'm trying to go to sleep. That's exactly how it feels ... far and disconnected and terrifying

That's exactly when my panic attacks would happen. (Although I had some in the past that occurred in particular situations). When they really started coming out of nowhere, it was always at night, often when I got up during the night and was trying to fall back asleep. Eventually I wasn't even able to sleep in my own room anymore, but thankfully after I started counseling and medication (which I really hated having to take) I was able to work through it. Things can and do get better, but I remember feeling like they never would.

I pretty much have the episodes once in a blue moon. The last time was probably in May. Praying and reading the Bible helps a lot. It has never effected my life in terms of school/work/etc. so it's not persistent. Thanks for asking :)

You're welcome. I'm very glad to hear that your detachment/depersonalization episodes don't occur that often. :) It sounds as though you are managing it pretty well, and I am so glad you read the Bible and pray, which is more important than anything, and a great reminder.

God bless you.
 
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gloriousday2006

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I would love to talk to someone who has experienced depersonalization. I have experienced it after intense OCD and severe panic attacks. To the point where I felt I was coming out of my body and then severe emotion numbing. I feel numbed to a lot of emotion and almost like I am not myself or like I'm not real. I feel very disconnected from my thoughts. Has anyone experienced this? How do you overcome it?
 
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MustardSeeed

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Agreed. It is one of the most troubling things about what I've experienced with my anxiety disorder. When I was in counseling, my counselor told me that it wasn't uncommon.
I'm glad that it's not uncommon. I think that the anxiety I go through falls into the realm of "healthy anxiety" for the most part. It has only gotten really bad a couple of times but it's definitely transient and circumstantial for me
Did your doctor explain why you couldn't see a therapist for your DPDR? I was able to discuss this with my counselor, perhaps you could find someone who would be willing to address this with you.
Whoops I should have worded that differently. I mean to say that my doctor said I could speak with a therapist anytime just in general (if I needed someone to talk to). I only discovered that the episodes actually had a name recently
It can be difficult to reach out and ask for help. I never wanted to talk with anyone, mostly because I didn't want to tell a complete stranger my personal problems. When I hit rock bottom, however, I knew I needed to ask for help and do my best to find it. It can be hard to find a good counselor that you also feel comfortable with, but they're out there, and some of them have dealt with anxiety personally as well, as mine had. This gives them a better understanding of where you're coming from and greater empathy than someone who hasn't lived it.
I agree. Looking back, it would have been nice to speak with someone. Now that it's in the past I'm glad it's over. I'm really grateful for all the counselors in the world who are genuinely empathetic towards people and if anything came up in the future, I would not hesitate to reach out for help
I moved to the U.S. to get married to my now husband
That's wonderful :)
It was the most difficult thing I have done in many ways. I was always very much a "home" person, and moving so far away from my family and friends has really been hard. Thankfully my husband has been a great support, he knows all about my anxiety and did long before we were married. I'm still adjusting though, and I also went from living out in the country to living in a busy city on one of the busiest streets, so that has been quite overwhelming as well.
That's really interesting. I'm glad your husband is supportive! I used to live in the city, then I moved the suburbs. Every time I need to do something in the city I feel overwhelmed even though I never did before. I can only imagine how overwhelming the city change would be coming from the country
When are you planning on moving? (If you don't mind my asking)
Well, up until 2 days ago I was planning on moving in the summer of 2019. However, yesterday Trump said in a conference that he didn't think that NAFTA benefited the USA and he will "probably" terminate it. Negotiations are still underway and I'm following it pretty closely. If it is terminated ... it would be very very hard to move because the visa I need would probably be retracted. I'm staying positive though :)
Yes, I remember how comforting it was to find out that what I was going through was not something unheard of, and that there are many who have been through the same things, even if their stories aren't exactly like mine and even though I wouldn't wish it on anyone, it's still reassuring to know you're not alone.
Oh yes, I agree!
That's exactly when my panic attacks would happen. (Although I had some in the past that occurred in particular situations). When they really started coming out of nowhere, it was always at night, often when I got up during the night and was trying to fall back asleep. Eventually I wasn't even able to sleep in my own room anymore, but thankfully after I started counseling and medication (which I really hated having to take) I was able to work through it. Things can and do get better, but I remember feeling like they never would.
I'm glad things have gotten better! I love the "light at the end of the tunnel" feeling when things start to look up. It's what I live for in all my hardships in life. I would always go to my sisters room :p I agree, things can and do get better
You're welcome. I'm very glad to hear that your detachment/depersonalization episodes don't occur that often. :) It sounds as though you are managing it pretty well, and I am so glad you read the Bible and pray, which is more important than anything, and a great reminder. God bless you.
Thanks! I agree and God bless you too :)
 
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amariselle

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I'm glad that it's not uncommon. I think that the anxiety I go through falls into the realm of "healthy anxiety" for the most part. It has only gotten really bad a couple of times but it's definitely transient and circumstantial for me

I'm very glad to hear it. :)

Whoops I should have worded that differently. I mean to say that my doctor said I could speak with a therapist anytime just in general (if I needed someone to talk to). I only discovered that the episodes actually had a name recently

Okay, thank you for explaining. I'm glad your doctor has been helpful.

I agree. Looking back, it would have been nice to speak with someone. Now that it's in the past I'm glad it's over. I'm really grateful for all the counselors in the world who are genuinely empathetic towards people and if anything came up in the future, I would not hesitate to reach out for help

Yes, we should never be afraid to ask for help, though I know it can be hard to admit you need it.

That's wonderful :)

Yes, moving so far from home has been onevof the hardest things I've ever done, but I'm so glad I met and married my husband. :)

That's really interesting. I'm glad your husband is supportive!

So am I.

I used to live in the city, then I moved the suburbs. Every time I need to do something in the city I feel overwhelmed even though I never did before. I can only imagine how overwhelming the city change would be coming from the country

Yes, I miss living in the country every day. Finding somewhere to move is not easy, we've been looking for months and have yet to even go see a single house. It can be frustrating.

Well, up until 2 days ago I was planning on moving in the summer of 2019. However, yesterday Trump said in a conference that he didn't think that NAFTA benefited the USA and he will "probably" terminate it. Negotiations are still underway and I'm following it pretty closely. If it is terminated ... it would be very very hard to move because the visa I need would probably be retracted. I'm staying positive though :)

I truly hope it all works out for you. :)

Oh yes, I agree!

I'm glad things have gotten better! I love the "light at the end of the tunnel" feeling when things start to look up. It's what I live for in all my hardships in life. I would always go to my sisters room :p I agree, things can and do get better

I'm so glad you've been doing so much better.

Thanks! I agree and God bless you too :)

:)
 
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gloriousday2006

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No problem :) I'm sorry that happened to you :(
I never feel the "out of my body" part. For me, I feel disconnected and far in my mind but not really in terms of my body. I feel very in my body but incredulous at my own existence
I get the disconnected far in my mind feeling also.
 
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MustardSeeed

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I get the disconnected far in my mind feeling also.

praying for you :)
the best things to do IMO is pray pray pray and read the Bible
God created you in His image and he didn't give us a spirit of fear but a sound mind!
 
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MustardSeeed

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Okay, thank you for explaining. I'm glad your doctor has been helpful. Yes, we should never be afraid to ask for help, though I know it can be hard to admit you need it. Yes, moving so far from home has been onevof the hardest things I've ever done, but I'm so glad I met and married my husband. :) So am I. Yes, I miss living in the country every day. Finding somewhere to move is not easy, we've been looking for months and have yet to even go see a single house. It can be frustrating. I truly hope it all works out for you. :) I'm so glad you've been doing so much better.I'm very glad to hear it. :)

Thanks so much and best of luck house hunting :D
 
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Far Side Of the Moon

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Yes I've experienced this before but maybe like 3 times in my life...its truly something I wouldn't wish on anybody.. To be honest I feel like Id rather be trade mental illness for a physical one...

Because anxiety, if its severe enough is just difficult to maneuver though :/
 
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