Death of Important friend

Adventist Heretic

Senior Veteran
Supporter
Sep 18, 2006
5,019
453
Parts Unknown
✟339,040.00
Country
United States
Faith
SDA
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Others
I found out a very important friend passed away. I am having trouble processing it. This person was a person that impacted my life in a very profound way Now she is gone and maybe forever.

I found out that she had lost her faith and it is a lot to take in. She died of brain cancer. I did not know that she was sick. I did not know she was having questions. She put it out on the internet and I missed it. I could have helped her with that. it is so upsetting, I am numb.
 

musicalpilgrim

pilgrim on the sacred music pathway
Angels Team
Supporter
Jan 11, 2012
22,882
32,366
East of Manchester
✟2,620,944.00
Country
United Kingdom
Faith
Pentecostal
Marital Status
Married
I pray for you and I am by your side in your grief. I know God is good and loves us so much.
God bless you richly as you seek more of him in your life and his peace in Jesus precious name.
 
Upvote 0

disciple Clint

Well-Known Member
Mar 26, 2018
15,258
5,990
Pacific Northwest
✟200,679.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
I found out a very important friend passed away. I am having trouble processing it. This person was a person that impacted my life in a very profound way Now she is gone and maybe forever.

I found out that she had lost her faith and it is a lot to take in. She died of brain cancer. I did not know that she was sick. I did not know she was having questions. She put it out on the internet and I missed it. I could have helped her with that. it is so upsetting, I am numb.
Do not assume that she did not turn back to God before she passed away. Looks like you are feeling some guilt about not seeing her internet post, you should not feel that way, if God had needed you to reach out to her, He would have let you know somehow. All you can do now is to remember the good times and trust God that he does not let His sheep wander far away before He gathers them back to Him.
 
Upvote 0

Tolworth John

Well-Known Member
Supporter
Mar 10, 2017
8,278
4,680
68
Tolworth
✟369,559.00
Country
United Kingdom
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Married
Russia avenging Hiroshima civilians to US of Sodom and Gomorrah - for false christians "arrive like a thief" in hypersonic plasma too

This is abuse.
Please limit your replies and post to apropriate threads and comments.
 
Upvote 0

Tolworth John

Well-Known Member
Supporter
Mar 10, 2017
8,278
4,680
68
Tolworth
✟369,559.00
Country
United Kingdom
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Married
I found out a very important friend passed away. I am having trouble processing it. This person was a person that impacted my life in a very profound way Now she is gone and maybe forever.

I found out that she had lost her faith and it is a lot to take in. She died of brain cancer. I did not know that she was sick. I did not know she was having questions. She put it out on the internet and I missed it. I could have helped her with that. it is so upsetting, I am numb.


I am sorry for your loss.

Please take the time to mourne and please remember God is just and does not quench the smoking flax etc.

Your friend may well have had serious questions and doubts about her faith, christianity etc, but that does not invalidate her status as a Christian.

Questions and doubts are acceptable, they do not automaticly make one to not be a Chrristian.
 
Upvote 0

Adventist Heretic

Senior Veteran
Supporter
Sep 18, 2006
5,019
453
Parts Unknown
✟339,040.00
Country
United States
Faith
SDA
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Others
Do not assume that she did not turn back to God before she passed away. Looks like you are feeling some guilt about not seeing her internet post, you should not feel that way, if God had needed you to reach out to her, He would have let you know somehow. All you can do now is to remember the good times and trust God that he does not let His sheep wander far away before He gathers them back to Him.
i feel guilt because, I had the oppertunity in a relationship with her. I felt God was leading is that way and I wanted it it but, I hesitated because of uncertianity over this very issue. I thought she was unaware of the world and could be easily lead astray and she was. I hesitated and she slipped through my fingers, the oppertunity was gone. i move to take a job, She moved to another state. She got into a relationship with someone else and eventually married him, he beat her and e left him. She found someone else and he appereantly treated her well. I was happy for her, she was ok. I did not she her again or here anything else about her for 13 years. Then she popped up on Facebook and I saw the pictures of her and she was happy and doing well. That was the last I heard of her. the picture was taken just before she found out she had cancer. that was `12 years ago. I heard nothing over the last 12 years. Then boom, She's Dead and btw she lost her faith, sort of. Sbe was not the type of person who over thought things. She was very practical in her thinking and life. she did not have time for the esoteric things, musings of theology and philosophy. she waded into deep water and drowned. That is what bothers me. I was right about her being lead astray. That scared me off. I cannot help but think If I would have been there it would not have happened. that hesitation or rejection of God's leading lead to this result.
 
Upvote 0

Adventist Heretic

Senior Veteran
Supporter
Sep 18, 2006
5,019
453
Parts Unknown
✟339,040.00
Country
United States
Faith
SDA
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Others
I was reflecting on why I hesitated, to take the opportunity to have a relationship with her when I had the chance. I have not thought abut this in 25 years. At the time there was an age gap and and experiance Gap. When I first met her she was 18 and I was 23. at that age there is a huge gap, she was young and I was a little more mature. I was focused on starting a career and she was focused trying to decide what college to go to. She ended up at the College I was at. We were there together for 2 years , When the opportunity presented its self. She opened the door, by expressing a desire for more. I contemplated the situation but ultimately turned it down. As I look back there were a number of obstacles that seemed to great for the relationship to work. Age, Experiance, Education level at the time. I felt like I would be looking out for a child. I would have to protect her like a Father rather then a husband. looking back I see that the gaps were not that great. 5 years out of College and the gaps all but disappear. I just did not have the experiance , wisdom and foresight to see that and I did not have anyone to tallk to about the situation. I felt like I had made a big mistake when I made it, but it look like the best decision at the time. if there was one desicison I could make over in my life time it would be that one.
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0

disciple Clint

Well-Known Member
Mar 26, 2018
15,258
5,990
Pacific Northwest
✟200,679.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
I was reflecting on why I hesitated, to take the opportunity to have a relationship with her when I had the chance. I have not thought abut this in 25 years. At the time there was an age gap and and experiance Gap. When I first met her she was 18 and I was 23. at that age there is a huge gap, she was young and I was a little more mature. I was focused on starting a career and she was focused trying to decide what college to go to. She ended up at the College I was at. We were there together for 2 years , When the opportunity presented its self. She opened the door, by expressing a desire for more. I contemplated the situation but ultimately turned it down. As I look back there were a number of obstacles that seemed to great for the relationship to work. Age, Experiance, Education level at the time. I felt like I would be looking out for a child. I would have to protect her like a Father rather then a husband. looking back I see that the gaps were not that great. 5 years out of College and the gaps all but disappear. I just did not have the experiance , wisdom and foresight to see that and I did not have anyone to tallk to about the situation. I felt like I had made a big mistake when I made it, but it look like the best decision at the time. if there was one desicison I could make over in my life time it would be that one.
I think you are needlessly beating yourself up, you acted as someone your age at the time would rationally acted. Life is funny and when we look back on it there always seems to be things that we could have or should have done differently but we have to remember we are older and wiser now, we also have the benefit of knowing how things in our lives turned out. She sounds very much like someone who would turn to God as she matured and when faced with a terminal illness. Blessings
 
Upvote 0

Adventist Heretic

Senior Veteran
Supporter
Sep 18, 2006
5,019
453
Parts Unknown
✟339,040.00
Country
United States
Faith
SDA
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Others
Thank you for your concern, I don't think i am being hard on myself, I do think I am taking it hard. hind sight is always 20/20. I wish it were not so, but it is. I am still processing this loss, I have never felt this level of sadness in my life, not on such a personal level. It was so unexpected. the last picture I have of her was on FB in 2010 she was happy and doing fine. Then BAM!!! GONE. not even a chance to say goodbye. just gone. Shocking.
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums