dealing with vindictive vengeful nasty people, need Godly perspective :(

[TravelerFarAwayFromHome]

hello

without going into too much details

i am currently dealing with some people in mine life that is just really vindictive, conniving, and vicious.

they try to make mine life hell and appears to spread vicious rumors and slanders about me that could do me real damage

today i saw two of the culprits were given each other this malicious, knowing look right in front of me......

i try to google some helpful Christian resources but frankly it just made things worse

i came across teachings where people try to interpret Psalm 37

Fret not thyself because of evildoers, neither be thou envious against the workers of iniquity.

2 For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb.

basically they say that they believe the word soon used in the Psalm REALLY IS NOT SOON AT ALL

because for God day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day?????

Wow, so comforting to know mine tormentors wont have to pay for what they have done to me for a long long time to come, what kind of teaching is that?

so discouraged and angry, it is just NOT FAIR!

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

hello

without going into too much details

i am currently dealing with some people in mine life that is just really vindictive, conniving, and vicious.

they try to make mine life hell and appears to spread vicious rumors and slanders about me that could do me real damage

today i saw two of the culprits were given each other this malicious, knowing look right in front of me......

i try to google some helpful Christian resources but frankly it just made things worse

i came across teachings where people try to interpret Psalm 37

Fret not thyself because of evildoers, neither be thou envious against the workers of iniquity.

2 For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb.

basically they say that they believe the word soon used in the Psalm REALLY IS NOT SOON AT ALL

because for God day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day?????

Wow, so comforting to know mine tormentors wont have to pay for what they have done to me for a long long time to come, what kind of teaching is that?

so discouraged and angry, it is just NOT FAIR!

In Galatians 5 this type of behaviour is identified as the works of the flesh and those who practice it will not inherit the kingdom of God. You need to know that this type of behaviour is indicative that the person is still not truly converted to Christ even though he has made a profession of Christianity. They may have "got religion" but are not yet born again. Born again believers do not behave this way and they are not your brothers and sisters in Christ. They are still in the kingdom of darkness under demonic control. Being never so religious doesn't mean that a person is a true born again believer.

Don't give place to the devil or his representatives. The scripture says not to have anything to do with such people, not fellowship with, or share food with them.

 

[WilliamBo]

I used to think like you think, and i learned the problem was in my mind. I'm not excusing peoples behavior but part of being a Christian is we have to put up with that kind of stuff without getting bitter or resentful. We must see the big picture, that they are hurting and it's on us to show them the love of God. This is not possible without God supernaturally changing your heart. This takes lots and lots of work and you must fear the Lord and pray constantly for Him to make a way for you to be Christ-like and Godly. Also, when you renew your mind with God's word, these negative people and situations start to "dissappear" out of your life and more happy, joyful people and situations start showing up. New age people call this "the law of attraction", the Bible calls it the law of "reaping and sowing" (you will always reap what you sow)

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

I used to think like you think, and i learned the problem was in my mind. I'm not excusing peoples behavior but part of being a Christian is we have to put up with that kind of stuff without getting bitter or resentful. We must see the big picture, that they are hurting and it's on us to show them the love of God. This is not possible without God supernaturally changing your heart. This takes lots and lots of work and you must fear the Lord and pray constantly for Him to make a way for you to be Christ-like and Godly. Also, when you renew your mind with God's word, these negative people and situations start to "dissappear" out of your life and more happy, joyful people and situations start showing up. New age people call this "the law of attraction", the Bible calls it the law of "reaping and sowing" (you will always reap what you sow)

It is not loving to allow false "wolves" to drop condemnation bombs on good believers or to do things that divide and destroy congregations. It is when good believers do nothing that allows religious hypocrites to do what they want in our churches. When people say that we have to treat them lovingly, what they really mean is that we should be mamby pamby with these people, which these hypocrites will see as weakness and would only give them leave to continue their evil conduct. They need to be publicly rebuked as hypocrites and grievous wolves and be told to leave the services and not come back until they show evidence of a true conversion to Christ.

 

[Tolworth John]

Get on with your life ignoring their actions, looks etc. Do ensure that you behave correctly in every way to them, giving respect, being polite and giving no reason for their dislike or critise you.
We are told to actively love those who hate and dispise us.

 

[Another Lazarus]

Its a test to your faith actually, and a chance to show you really learn from Jesus.
You cannot change those people by vengeance.

Matt 5:44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless those that curse you, do good to those that hate you, and pray for those who speak evil about you, and persecute you

We cannot just praise God at churches with our tongues only but we need to do God's will in our life.

 

[The Brown Brink]

Here's some good advice:

Learn everything you can about these people.
Then let them know you know.

Knowledge is power.

 

[longwait]

hello

without going into too much details

i am currently dealing with some people in mine life that is just really vindictive, conniving, and vicious.

they try to make mine life hell and appears to spread vicious rumors and slanders about me that could do me real damage

today i saw two of the culprits were given each other this malicious, knowing look right in front of me......

Hello! I had this very same experience. But unlike you I didn't really understand what they were up to. They happened to be my "friendly neighbours". Some of the members used to come over to my place and verbly abuse me, insult me and I used to feel so oppressed when they turn up and open their filthy mouths. They happen to be very religious pentecostals too. Hahahahaha!!!!

But you know what? What they tried to do to me and all their plottings and schemings was paid back to them in full in the very coin by none other than the Lord God Almighty Himself! I didn't even know what they were up to. Now I know that they wanted to get me into a trap, a snare. But the Lord used the pit they set for me and pulled them down into it. And all this before all the other neighbours.
Their malice may be concealed by deception, but their wickedness will be exposed in the assembly.
Proverbs 26:26
To the faithful you show yourself faithful, to the blameless you show yourself blameless, to the pure you show yourself pure, but to the devious you show yourself shrewd.
You save the humble but bring low those whose eyes are haughty. Psalms 25-27
Oscarr wrote that they divide and destroy congregations which is true. Our Lord IS a God of justice and he will act on your behalf if you did nothing wrong and you are not at fault.

 

[RaymondG]

They need to be publicly rebuked as hypocrites and grievous wolves and be told to leave the services and not come back until they show evidence of a true conversion to Christ.

Nice, so you are all for the stoning of the adulterers in public huh? When Jesus said that those without sin, cast the stone....you would have threw yours? God forgave us all our dept...a big debt.....but when someone owes us nice treatment, we beat them and put them in prison until their debt it paid? When God finds this out, how will He react? Would he not expect us to forgive as we have been forgiven?

 

[RaymondG]

I know how you feel. There was this guy who use to sit in the same spot, giving me the nasty eyes for a long time. I could tell that he hated my guts and without cause. Maybe he was jealous of me, maybe i was dressing too nice or behaved to Godly and happy and he just couldnt stand it! But that was all his problem so I didnt care! Until one day....I had to walk past him while holding my infant....and he stuck out his foot and tripped me "by mistake"! The anger boiled up inside and I started to hate him too! "Why dont you get up and get a job, you bum!" I thought.

Anyway.....Some time later, I found out This guy was blind! He never hated me....Never saw my "nice clothes" or "godly, happy behavior" and didnt know was coming to trip me. My hate turned to Compassion, Shame in myself, and Love. Lesson: IT WAS ALL IN MY HEAD! No matter what anyone else does, you have to think about it and choose how to feels. This blind man didnt make me hate or love...My own thoughts and choices lead to my feelings. My thoughts put me in the bondage of hate, and later...the freedom of love. Everyone who does evil is only blind to the fact that God is in them....They know not what they do. You feeling and emotions caused by your own thoughts and not anyone elses actions. Choose to love till the end.....

Choose ye this day, whom you will serve.

 

[mina]

The best revenge is a well lived life.......

I've experienced this; even on this forum when I used to be here a lot. One person even made a sock to send me hateful and gross messages. I've also experienced it in real life. The best thing you can do is just ignore them and focus on yourself. I don't understand it, but some people feel better when they are trying to hurt others. Don't give them what they want; which is attention and to feel like they have hurt you. They have problems. It is easy to get pulled down and into the mindset of wanting to hurt them back. But it really is better just to ignore it.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

Nice, so you are all for the stoning of the adulterers in public huh? When Jesus said that those without sin, cast the stone....you would have threw yours? God forgave us all our dept...a big debt.....but when someone owes us nice treatment, we beat them and put them in prison until their debt it paid? When God finds this out, how will He react? Would he not expect us to forgive as we have been forgiven?

Oh, come on! It's obvious you have never read any of my previous posts! If you had, you would realise how ridiculous that statement is.

What I am saying is that we do not give place to the devil or anyone who represents him. If you had read the OP you would have seen how that we are not dealing with brothers and sisters in Christ who have fallen into sin because of their weakness and shortcomings. We are dealing with deliberately nasty and vindictive people who are out to destroy our self esteem and pull us away from our faith in Christ.

So, what will you do when a nasty, vindictive person attacks you with nasty words and actions? I'll bet you won't behave like a whimp! You will defend yourself. We need to be loving and forgiving of people but we are not to be doormats for the devil's representatives.

 

[RaymondG]

Oh, come on! It's obvious you have never read any of my previous posts! If you had, you would realise how ridiculous that statement is.

What I am saying is that we do not give place to the devil or anyone who represents him. If you had read the OP you would have seen how that we are not dealing with brothers and sisters in Christ who have fallen into sin because of their weakness and shortcomings. We are dealing with deliberately nasty and vindictive people who are out to destroy our self esteem and pull us away from our faith in Christ.

So, what will you do when a nasty, vindictive person attacks you with nasty words and actions? I'll bet you won't behave like a whimp! You will defend yourself. We need to be loving and forgiving of people but we are not to be doormats for the devil's representatives.

I pray that when that time comes, my old self has died some much that only the love of God is displayed. The part of me that gets offended dies daily. I am all for holding my peace and letting the Lord fight the battles. But your opinion is heard and respected.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

I pray that when that time comes, my old self has died some much that only the love of God is displayed. The part of me that gets offended dies daily. I am all for holding my peace and letting the Lord fight the battles. But your opinion is heard and respected.

Thanks for that. I concur that we don't respond to nasty and vindictive people in kind, using the same behaviour to counteract them. That would be putting us down on their level. We are allowed to get angry at these people, but not to sin in the process by abusing them back. I think I would adopt the attitude, "You have your opinion, and I have mine." Then I would turn my back on them and walk away.

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

Sometimes we can have people that are so nasty that even when we try hard we accidentally slip and can be vengeful. I haven't done it in a long time. But just yesterday there was this woman on facebook who married someone in america (like my wife did to me). About 2-3 years ago this woman was nasty, rude and opinionated with me. She said my wife would use me, she said I was useless since I was disabled. This woman owns thousands (no joke) of shoes in a room bigger then most apartments. She has endless racks of clothes. Purses. Jewelry. I'm talking like $2000 purses. $400 pairs of shoes. She posts "sexual" images of herself on a group for people married to americans. Again shes married. She said they would be together forever and my wife and I would not.

I told her she just married her husband for the money and wanted a green card. Her husband said that wasn't the case. He said there love was true and she wasn't using him. Well even longer story short... yesterday I seen she is now divorced and has a green card. Apparently her husband left her after finding her to be to materialistic and cruel to him. So I wanted to message her and say something. I was so happy inside.

But right after I thought that stuff I felt bad inside. Like DEEPLY guilty. I realized how bitter I was and that I would actually even think of joy about her situation. I prayed to God for forgiveness and hoped where ever her and her ex were in life that they would find peace and be ok.

So as you can see sometimes we get carried away with how we feel. We have to remember that vengeance is the Lords. People can do alot to us in this world but in the next world God is who they have to answer too. So we have to let our pain go and forgive these people and move on. If not then we are no better then them.

 

[TravelerFarAwayFromHome]

I used to think like you think, and i learned the problem was in my mind. I'm not excusing peoples behavior but part of being a Christian is we have to put up with that kind of stuff without getting bitter or resentful. We must see the big picture, that they are hurting and it's on us to show them the love of God. This is not possible without God supernaturally changing your heart. This takes lots and lots of work and you must fear the Lord and pray constantly for Him to make a way for you to be Christ-like and Godly. Also, when you renew your mind with God's word, these negative people and situations start to "dissappear" out of your life and more happy, joyful people and situations start showing up. New age people call this "the law of attraction", the Bible calls it the law of "reaping and sowing" (you will always reap what you sow)

well, while i do agree with many of what you are saying here

you are taking the whole idea "hurting people hurt people" and "guard one's heart' completely out of context

people who are hurting are only "one" of the reason why people behave vindictively

the ultimate root of the cause is sinful nature

otherwise, according to your reasoning, does that mean all those greedy Wall Street bankers who are responsible for the financial crash in the 2008 that wiped out so many ordinary hard working families and continue to remain unrepentant and keep up with their disgusting ways are really "hurting people' instead of greedy selfish people who are enriching themselves at others expense simply because they can? and that we should show they Christ love by what? coddle them instead finally hold them accountable for their behaviors and make them stop?

because by holding them responsible would be unloving and anyone who wish to do so should bow their head in shame, go to their priest and make hour long confession and then check themselves into a Christian therapy program to do some deep reflection on just what a horrible human being they are for desiring justice and the truth to win out and take all the moral responsibility for the those bankers?

honestly, your answer makes me angry because it is nothing short of shifting the blame to the victims, all cloaked in pseudo spiritual language through abuse of Scriptures to make them doormats for others relentless abuse, at the same time make one unable to defend themselves, and the only way for me to illustrate your answer as it is is through the ridiculous analogy that i have posted above!

you might want to remember there is a ''very good reason" why love is not the only Characteristic of the God we are serving, He is also righteous and Holy. in fact, make excuses, justify and tolerate evil is definitely not God version love!

i will let people read through your answer in detail and let them decide what is your intention

but you need to remember this is an advice section for people to seek help, it is not the section for people vent whatever unresolved resentment masquerading as advice and help.

 

[TravelerFarAwayFromHome]

I know how you feel. There was this guy who use to sit in the same spot, giving me the nasty eyes for a long time. I could tell that he hated my guts and without cause. Maybe he was jealous of me, maybe i was dressing too nice or behaved to Godly and happy and he just couldnt stand it! But that was all his problem so I didnt care! Until one day....I had to walk past him while holding my infant....and he stuck out his foot and tripped me "by mistake"! The anger boiled up inside and I started to hate him too! "Why dont you get up and get a job, you bum!" I thought.

Anyway.....Some time later, I found out This guy was blind! He never hated me....Never saw my "nice clothes" or "godly, happy behavior" and didnt know was coming to trip me. My hate turned to Compassion, Shame in myself, and Love. Lesson: IT WAS ALL IN MY HEAD! No matter what anyone else does, you have to think about it and choose how to feels. This blind man didnt make me hate or love...My own thoughts and choices lead to my feelings. My thoughts put me in the bondage of hate, and later...the freedom of love. Everyone who does evil is only blind to the fact that God is in them....They know not what they do. You feeling and emotions caused by your own thoughts and not anyone elses actions. Choose to love till the end.....

Choose ye this day, whom you will serve.

again you need to cut this out and stop blaming the victim

while i do agree we need to guard our heart, it still does not change the fact that in God's eyes, evildoers need to take responsibility for their own evil choice, not me

as far as your example go, you are not me, you don't know what happened, you need to reserve your judgement

i also find it appalling, shocking and intriguing you like Bo is also taking scripture completely out of context by justifying their evil behaviors as in "they don't know what they are doing!"

Roman two stated very clearly and explicitly on this matter

Even Gentiles, who do not have God’s written law, show that they know his law when they instinctively obey it, even without having heard it. 15They demonstrate that God’s law is written in their hearts, for their own conscience and thoughts either accuse them or tell them they are doing right.

 

[TravelerFarAwayFromHome]

I pray that when that time comes, my old self has died some much that only the love of God is displayed. The part of me that gets offended dies daily. I am all for holding my peace and letting the Lord fight the battles. But your opinion is heard and respected.

well i would think one fruit of Spirit would be righteous indignation when witnessing mistreatment of others and love of truth. and use pseudo spiritual language and taking scriptures out of context to shift the responsibility to the victim and force them to become doormats to others mistreatment is not love, it is called kicking someone while they are down.

 

[brinny]

Praying brother (((Hug)))

 

[Kit Sigmon]

I grew up black and poor, my family lived amongst racist people, nothing the racist could hurl at me kept me from achieving success, for the Lord is with me and He has silenced their lies and deflected their fiery arrows.
He put me in good places and prepared a bountiful table for me and anointed me in the presence of my enemies.
All glory and honor to be Mighty God!