Dealing With PMS as Christian Women

[Michelle Schnelker]

I am struggling with a life time of Depression, Anxiety, PMS and now Perimenopause. I feel like most of the month is shot because I'm never stable nor behaving "Christlike".
I feel that it is insensitive and harsh (esp. for men) to demand a woman going through this to "rise to the occasion", "put on a happy face", "be a gracious Christian lady who always is flowing in the Spirit" being loving, giving, caring, gentle, submissive, sacrificing, etc. I am tired of fighting not being a B*#^% and ceasing complaining about everything. Surely, God has more for me in living the Christian life than this.

 

[miknik5]

I am struggling with a life time of Depression, Anxiety, PMS and now Perimenopause. I feel like most of the month is shot because I'm never stable nor behaving "Christlike".
I feel that it is insensitive and harsh (esp. for men) to demand a woman going through this to "rise to the occasion", "put on a happy face", "be a gracious Christian lady who always is flowing in the Spirit" being loving, giving, caring, gentle, submissive, sacrificing, etc. I am tired of fighting not being a B*#^% and ceasing complaining about everything. Surely, God has more for me in living the Christian life than this.

What do you mean. Surely God has more for me?

What do you mean?
What were you expecting?

I am not being insensitive
I also am a woman
And I deal with a husband who is selfish and self centered

Surely GOD has more for me?
But then I realize that I do not have half the sufferings that others might have


And I understand what I have been given to bare I have been given to bare

And I pray that this be the extent of my troubles

 

[miknik5]

Michelle
"Daily Bread" is

Daily Bread

 

[Larniavc]

I am struggling with a life time of Depression, Anxiety, PMS and now Perimenopause. I feel like most of the month is shot because I'm never stable nor behaving "Christlike".
I feel that it is insensitive and harsh (esp. for men) to demand a woman going through this to "rise to the occasion", "put on a happy face", "be a gracious Christian lady who always is flowing in the Spirit" being loving, giving, caring, gentle, submissive, sacrificing, etc. I am tired of fighting not being a B*#^% and ceasing complaining about everything. Surely, God has more for me in living the Christian life than this.

It is indeed insensitive and harsh for a husband to expect his wife to rise to the occasion if she does not feel like it.

Any man who would expect otherwise is a selfish, boorish cad.

 

[miknik5]

I

It is indeed insensitive and harsh for a husband to expect his wife to rise to the occasion if she does not feel like it.

Any man who would expect otherwise is a selfish, boorish cad.

yet she's married to this man who expects her to "rise to the occasion"
So?
Now what ?

 

[Larniavc]

I

yet she's married to this man who expects her to "rise to the occasion"
So?
Now what ?

A solid refusal?

Any man who wants to have sex when his wife is clearly not into it is an awful human being.

 

[miknik5]

A solid refusal?

Any man who wants to have sex when his wife is clearly not into it is an awful human being.

Huh?
LOL

Is that all that is expected of us?

LOL
Did you think that this was what she was talking about?

 

[Larniavc]

Huh?
LOL

Is that all that is expected of us?

LOL
Did you think that this was what she was talking about?

I'm sorry I don't understand your response.

In fact I may be misunderstanding the whole thread.

I thought the OP was saying she's fed up with feeling pressured by her husband to have sex when she did not want it.

So my answer is a consistent, solid refusal to acquiesce to to coercion to do something she does not want to.

If I've got the wrong end of the stick, I do apologise.

 

[miknik5]

I'm sorry I don't understand your response.

In fact I may be misunderstanding the whole thread.

I thought the OP was saying she's fed up with feeling pressured by her husband to have sex when she did not want it.

So my answer is a consistent, solid refusal to acquiesce to to coercion to do something she does not want to.

If I've got the wrong end of the stick, I do apologise.

LOL...I don't think that was the main problem.

 

[Jane_Doe]

I am struggling with a life time of Depression, Anxiety, PMS and now Perimenopause. I feel like most of the month is shot because I'm never stable nor behaving "Christlike".
I feel that it is insensitive and harsh (esp. for men) to demand a woman going through this to "rise to the occasion", "put on a happy face", "be a gracious Christian lady who always is flowing in the Spirit" being loving, giving, caring, gentle, submissive, sacrificing, etc. I am tired of fighting not being a B*#^% and ceasing complaining about everything. Surely, God has more for me in living the Christian life than this.

Hitting on a few of your points—

· “Putting on a happy face”—being Christ-like does NOT mean being fake. So just dismiss that idea.

· “Over flowing with the Spirit” –the Spirit can help with us in abundance even when we’re struggling. That’s why He’s called the Comforter.

· Being stable—PM, depression, and menopause all put us for loops, that’s just a fact. A little up and down is nothing to be ashamed of. If it’s crazy-whip-lash up and down, that’s no good (not because you’re a Christian, but because it’s just an unhealthy roller coaster). If you’re on a roller coaster, I recommend reaching out for help (medically and spiritually). There are really good resources available.

If you’re struggling, don’t hide it behind a façade, get help.

 

[miknik5]

@Larnievc ,

I'm sorry

Don't you know that we're emotional creatures? One of the differences between us

Men are strong and are supposed to protect and support and balance us

Women are weaker and emotional and need the support as well as by their emotion and sensitivity are supposed to balance the (stronger) man so that he doesn't behave like a nincompoop and do something he will regret

The two together are supposed to balance one another

 

[littlebopeek]

I am struggling with a life time of Depression, Anxiety, PMS and now Perimenopause. I feel like most of the month is shot because I'm never stable nor behaving "Christlike".
I feel that it is insensitive and harsh (esp. for men) to demand a woman going through this to "rise to the occasion", "put on a happy face", "be a gracious Christian lady who always is flowing in the Spirit" being loving, giving, caring, gentle, submissive, sacrificing, etc. I am tired of fighting not being a B*#^% and ceasing complaining about everything. Surely, God has more for me in living the Christian life than this.

(((hugs))) I'm right there with you lady

What I am doing is trying to find encouraging scriptures, keep a sense of humor and just try to be mindful, recognize it for what it is as quickly as i can - apologize if i need to and then keep trying to do better

I will tell you that recently, just acknowledging it and putting it out there - meaning at work i told my co-workers - sorry, i'm having hormone issues and i'm doing my best but dang, it's tough, forgive me....made a HUGE difference internally AND externally. I think my body was GRATEFUL i just admitted it and rolled with it - like you said, it's exhausting to constantly put on a facade and my body APPRECIATED that i gave it some encouragement and lightened the effects a bit with honesty.

I also jokingly but TRULY make announcements in my home lol - "i'm going to my tent!" or "Jesus told me not to be anxious, I'm trying!" - it lets others know, and - it also keeps a biblical theme in the forefront of my mind. I don't have any real answers, but i DEFINITELY know what you are going through! We can always PRAY!!! Take care - go to your tent, it's where we can just BE for a little while And others can be safe lol!

 

[miknik5]

(((hugs))) I'm right there with you lady

What I am doing is trying to find encouraging scriptures, keep a sense of humor and just try to be mindful, recognize it for what it is as quickly as i can - apologize if i need to and then keep trying to do better

I will tell you that recently, just acknowledging it and putting it out there - meaning at work i told my co-workers - sorry, i'm having hormone issues and i'm doing my best but dang, it's tough, forgive me....made a HUGE difference internally AND externally. I think my body was GRATEFUL i just admitted it and rolled with it - like you said, it's exhausting to constantly put on a facade and my body APPRECIATED that i gave it some encouragement and lightened the effects a bit with honesty.

I also jokingly but TRULY make announcements in my home lol - "i'm going to my tent!" or "Jesus told me not to be anxious, I'm trying!" - it lets others know, and - it also keeps a biblical theme in the forefront of my mind. I don't have any real answers, but i DEFINITELY know what you are going through! We can always PRAY!!! Take care - go to your tent, it's where we can just BE for a little while And others can be safe lol!

Maybe l have to try that
I don't announce beforehand...any everyone follows me into MY TENT!

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

If thats what your hubby thinks you should be doing then I'd question if he understands what the bible says. When my wife has her "visitor" (granted its not like PMS of course) I am ok if shes not as happy and emotional. Its normal. I even lay back on things and don't say as much because of it. Though most husbands should know when its "that time" you best not act how you normally might. Or in easier terms when your head is in the lions mouth, best not to make the lion angry or you will lose your head. lol

 

[Poppyseed78]

My periods have been rougher since having a baby. I'm much quicker to anger for a few days before it starts. I agree that it helps to acknowledge it and give my husband a head's up about why I may be a bit impatient. He's understanding about it. I've also found that getting enough sleep, exercise, and protein and iron in my diet all help. I also try to remind myself to take a few deep breaths if I feel my temper rising. Don't be too hard on yourself.

 

[Larniavc]

Women are weaker

Untrue.

 

[miknik5]

Untrue.

Okay.
If you say so

I don't agree

I am pretty strong and am petite. I have always been strong for my size and naturally muscular. But against a man I am not stronger. And in fact I know my emotions get in the way in situations which would require me to be stronger

 

[Larniavc]

Okay.
If you say so

I don't agree

I am pretty strong and am petite. I have always been strong for my size and naturally muscular. But against a man I am not stronger. And in fact I know my emotions get in the way in situations which would require me to be stronger

My apologies.

I thought you meant weaker in a global sense.

Yes. All things being equal men can lift greater loads and run faster.

But a marriage is not the school yard and the biggest and strongest in not the Boss.

 

[Larniavc]

And in fact I know my emotions get in the way in situations which would require me to be stronger

This happens to everyone.

Don't you know how angry men can get when our precious pride is needled?

All humans are emotional we: express it individually.

 

[miknik5]

This happens to everyone.

Don't you know how angry men can get when our precious pride is needled?

All humans are emotional we: express it individually.

Yes. I know how insulted a man can get when we become offended that they can't figure out why we are emotional in the first place so that we lash out

You're right the marriage is not a competition on who is stronger and in a marriage there shouldn't be a feeling that one has to compete or protect themselves. Both were supposed to lovingly balance one another and in fact we were called to serve one another and actually others before ourselves