dealing with people that are critically ill or dying

[FireDragon76]

Today me and my partner went to see an acquaintance at church that is critically ill. His name is Jeff. We don't know alot about him, other than he originally was from up north, comes from a much more high church type Lutheranism, and seems to have little family, besides having a husband who is a highway patrolman, and doesn't come to church with him. Jeff was one of the folks that helped stimulate an increase in liturgical renewal in our congregation.

We thought it was a good idea to see him and let him know that he is loved, because I can remember years ago when I hit my head really bad and nobody in my old orthodox church came to see me, even though the doctors were telling me very scary things (I had possible brain bleeding). But when I got there, I was in shock just seeing him, a big but gentle man being kept alive on a respirator and a dialysis machine. Tiffany ended up talking to him (the nurse said he could hear us, but he wouldn't be able to respond) and she said alot of stuff that I wish I could have. I just said "God bless you, Jeff". I'm not sure how appropriate that was, I have rarely dealt with these sorts of situations, before. How can God bless someone who is on death's door and likely will die? But I know if there is anyone deserving of blessing in my life, it is Jeff, because people like him have been quiet blessings in my own life.

I can sort of understand why people have prayer books now. Sometimes we literally end up a loss for words... but you feel like you have to say something.

 

[Akita Suggagaki]

Just going and being there is huge. Soft tones, relaxed voice, gentleness.

 

[FireDragon76]

It turns out Jeff is getting better slowly, but he's still in critical condition. Pastor visited him and he's becoming more conscious.

We went to visit another church friend named Lee today. She is German-American and lives in a nursing home. She has dementia but she recognized us, but she talks alot about the war now (she was actually a teenager in Germany during WWII). She only comes to church once in a while now.

 

[ProfessorCPA]

I was diagnosed with ALS which is a terminal disease. I would have been comforted by the visit and a promise of prayer.

 

[FireDragon76]

I have sad news, Jeff died today from kidney disease. He will be missed.

 

[FireDragon76]

Pastor asked if I would read an epistle at Jeff's memorial on Saturday. I said I would. I am a bit nervous though because I have never been to a funeral before (my parents were wierd in that way), I honestly am not sure how I will handle it. I know the Bible pretty well and I've done readings before in other situations, though, but this is new to me.

 

[gerbilwoman]

 

[FireDragon76]

I'm going to Jeff's memorial service today. This is the first funeral I have ever been to. I decided to tell Pastor I would not be reading this time, just because I wasn't sure how i'd deal with it, as I have so little experience with this sort of thing.

 

[FireDragon76]

Jeff had a beautiful memorial service, lots of Florida highway patrol showed up because his husband is a patrolman. It was tough for me, it was like reliving the experience to see his lifeless body. But I wanted to show my support for the community and for Jeff's family.

Pastor had an amazing sermon though, and it was nice to see Jeff had so many friends at church who came. He was taken from us too soon, at only 58, but as the church president said at his eulogy, "Heaven has another angel".

I would welcome your prayers for me and our congregation. Jeff helped a great deal to revive the liturgy in our church at a moment in my life when that was exactly what I needed. I still remember his voice reading from the Old Testament lessons. He will be missed.

 

[PloverWing]

May he rest in God's peace, and may God walk with you and the congregation in your time of grief.

 

[SkyWriting]

Today me and my partner went to see an acquaintance at church that is critically ill. His name is Jeff. We don't know alot about him, other than he originally was from up north, comes from a much more high church type Lutheranism, and seems to have little family, besides having a husband who is a highway patrolman, and doesn't come to church with him. Jeff was one of the folks that helped stimulate an increase in liturgical renewal in our congregation.

We thought it was a good idea to see him and let him know that he is loved, because I can remember years ago when I hit my head really bad and nobody in my old orthodox church came to see me, even though the doctors were telling me very scary things (I had possible brain bleeding). But when I got there, I was in shock just seeing him, a big but gentle man being kept alive on a respirator and a dialysis machine. Tiffany ended up talking to him (the nurse said he could hear us, but he wouldn't be able to respond) and she said alot of stuff that I wish I could have. I just said "God bless you, Jeff". I'm not sure how appropriate that was, I have rarely dealt with these sorts of situations, before. How can God bless someone who is on death's door and likely will die? But I know if there is anyone deserving of blessing in my life, it is Jeff, because people like him have been quiet blessings in my own life.

I can sort of understand why people have prayer books now. Sometimes we literally end up a loss for words... but you feel like you have to say something.

You don't. Such people just need visitors at times. Other times they prefer none.