If someone(s) can provide some good advice on what to do here, I'd greatly apperciate it....
My parents(both Christians) are essentially isolationists(various reasons, but it comes down really to that they trust no one, hardly even God). From the time I was five until I was fourteen, I had essentially no interaction with people outside of my immediate family(dad, mom, two sisters). That time was, Lord willing, as close as I ever came to experiencing hell.
Lonliness, depression, isolation, never feeling loved, silently crying myself to sleep practically every night, living on a mere five hours of sleep a night during my early teen years, staring at a bottle of Advil late in the middle of the night considering overdosing to kill myself, etc. I hated my parents for what they were doing, and as far as I could tell, they hated me as well in what they were doing, although I knew they believed they were loving me in what they chose to do.
The first face-to-face interaction with people, outside of family, that I had was when my sister and I essentially forced my parents to allow us to attend our church's youthgroup and Sunday School when we were fourteen. Adjusting to simply interacting with people was a tremendous struggle for me, and I still deal it a bit today(though I imagine everyone does to a certain extent, so I'm not too concerned there).
Now when I was four, I had become a Christian(or started on a journey to becoming a Christian depending on how you wish to look at it) at a VBS that our church at that time had. But I had pretty much abandoned any thought of following God when I was eight; there was no way I could imagine that any loving God could dare to allow my parents to do to me what they had done, and were continuing to do.
I got into a lot of garabage in my early teens. DSL was a hotlink to pirated movies, music, software, and inappropriate content. Those didn't do anything though when it came to helping my lonliness and depression.
But, God has interesting ways of working, and through all that garabage, essentially made me realize one thing; I was helpless to get out my depression and lonliness. Sure, I knew God existed. When I was 14, my Mom had decided to stick my sister and I in a homeschool co-op thing on Monday(she did see the value in us needing to know how to interact with people... albeit late and never any hint of apology or sorrow at what she and my dad had done), and we had a literature class on CS Lewis and I had to read Mere Christianity.
Through an amazing string of circumstances, I ended up pirating some songs by a band called Daily Planet, and just loved their music. It turned out they were going to be a band at a youth rally that my church's youth group was going to, so I signed up to go. Well... the speaker there essentially confirmed what I had discovered; nothing but God could pull me out of depression and lonliness and the black hole of sin I had created for myself. When he gave an invitation to come down and commit yourself to following God no matter what crazy thing He wanted, I finally did. I had tried everything else, and nothing worked, and knew God was convinced that God was the solution.
Thankfully, God is indeed the solution. Much has happened since that night at the rally(a little over two years have passed), and by living in God's wonderful grace daily, I am where I am today, functional, loved, loving others, and not alone.
But out of all this... I still struggle off 'n' on quite a bit with what my parents have done to me in my past(and even now, they still are very isolationist, which unfortunately makes it rather hard to have close friendships with people because they refuse to allow me the time and oppertunities needed with people to get to know them well).
I have forgiven them for the wrong they have done "in my heart" so-to-speak, yet I can't escape the notion that I must eventually sit down, talk with them, explain what I've been through, and tell them how they still to an extent are hindering me("go into all the world and tell the Gospel to every creature" is very hard when parents won't allow you to simply even speak to your next door neighbors for instance), and let them know that I forgive them and love them dispite what they have done...
Would anyone have some Biblically-grounded advice/suggestions on that last part? Should I talk with them about this? In what manner? etc.
osm
My parents(both Christians) are essentially isolationists(various reasons, but it comes down really to that they trust no one, hardly even God). From the time I was five until I was fourteen, I had essentially no interaction with people outside of my immediate family(dad, mom, two sisters). That time was, Lord willing, as close as I ever came to experiencing hell.
Lonliness, depression, isolation, never feeling loved, silently crying myself to sleep practically every night, living on a mere five hours of sleep a night during my early teen years, staring at a bottle of Advil late in the middle of the night considering overdosing to kill myself, etc. I hated my parents for what they were doing, and as far as I could tell, they hated me as well in what they were doing, although I knew they believed they were loving me in what they chose to do.
The first face-to-face interaction with people, outside of family, that I had was when my sister and I essentially forced my parents to allow us to attend our church's youthgroup and Sunday School when we were fourteen. Adjusting to simply interacting with people was a tremendous struggle for me, and I still deal it a bit today(though I imagine everyone does to a certain extent, so I'm not too concerned there).
Now when I was four, I had become a Christian(or started on a journey to becoming a Christian depending on how you wish to look at it) at a VBS that our church at that time had. But I had pretty much abandoned any thought of following God when I was eight; there was no way I could imagine that any loving God could dare to allow my parents to do to me what they had done, and were continuing to do.
I got into a lot of garabage in my early teens. DSL was a hotlink to pirated movies, music, software, and inappropriate content. Those didn't do anything though when it came to helping my lonliness and depression.
But, God has interesting ways of working, and through all that garabage, essentially made me realize one thing; I was helpless to get out my depression and lonliness. Sure, I knew God existed. When I was 14, my Mom had decided to stick my sister and I in a homeschool co-op thing on Monday(she did see the value in us needing to know how to interact with people... albeit late and never any hint of apology or sorrow at what she and my dad had done), and we had a literature class on CS Lewis and I had to read Mere Christianity.
Through an amazing string of circumstances, I ended up pirating some songs by a band called Daily Planet, and just loved their music. It turned out they were going to be a band at a youth rally that my church's youth group was going to, so I signed up to go. Well... the speaker there essentially confirmed what I had discovered; nothing but God could pull me out of depression and lonliness and the black hole of sin I had created for myself. When he gave an invitation to come down and commit yourself to following God no matter what crazy thing He wanted, I finally did. I had tried everything else, and nothing worked, and knew God was convinced that God was the solution.
Thankfully, God is indeed the solution. Much has happened since that night at the rally(a little over two years have passed), and by living in God's wonderful grace daily, I am where I am today, functional, loved, loving others, and not alone.
But out of all this... I still struggle off 'n' on quite a bit with what my parents have done to me in my past(and even now, they still are very isolationist, which unfortunately makes it rather hard to have close friendships with people because they refuse to allow me the time and oppertunities needed with people to get to know them well).
I have forgiven them for the wrong they have done "in my heart" so-to-speak, yet I can't escape the notion that I must eventually sit down, talk with them, explain what I've been through, and tell them how they still to an extent are hindering me("go into all the world and tell the Gospel to every creature" is very hard when parents won't allow you to simply even speak to your next door neighbors for instance), and let them know that I forgive them and love them dispite what they have done...
Would anyone have some Biblically-grounded advice/suggestions on that last part? Should I talk with them about this? In what manner? etc.
osm
