• Welcome to Christian Forums
  1. Welcome to Christian Forums, a forum to discuss Christianity in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to be able to join in fellowship with Christians all over the world.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon and God Bless!

  2. The forums in the Christian Congregations category are now open only to Christian members. Please review our current Faith Groups list for information on which faith groups are considered to be Christian faiths. Christian members please remember to read the Statement of Purpose threads for each forum within Christian Congregations before posting in the forum.
  3. Please note there is a new rule regarding the posting of videos. It reads, "Post a summary of the videos you post . An exception can be made for music videos.". Unless you are simply sharing music, please post a summary, or the gist, of the video you wish to share.
  4. There have been some changes in the Life Stages section involving the following forums: Roaring 20s, Terrific Thirties, Fabulous Forties, and Golden Eagles. They are changed to Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X, and Golden Eagles will have a slight change.
  5. CF Staff, Angels and Ambassadors; ask that you join us in praying for the world in this difficult time, asking our Holy Father to stop the spread of the virus, and for healing of all affected.
  6. We are no longer allowing posts or threads that deny the existence of Covid-19. Members have lost loved ones to this virus and are grieving. As a Christian site, we do not need to add to the pain of the loss by allowing posts that deny the existence of the virus that killed their loved one. Future post denying the Covid-19 existence, calling it a hoax, will be addressed via the warning system.

Dating someone who isn't the same denomination

Discussion in 'General Theology' started by Jesusthekingofking, Apr 26, 2021.

  1. Jesusthekingofking

    Jesusthekingofking Active Member

    315
    +97
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    It would have an issue if a protestant date a roman Catholic Christian but is it fine for protestant from different protestant denomination to date each other? Like a marriage btw a baptist and anglican or a lutheran with a methodist?
     
    We teamed up with Faith Counseling. Can they help you today?
  2. Norbert L

    Norbert L Well-Known Member Supporter

    +855
    Christian Seeker
    Single
    Something like that largely depends on the couple seeking marriage. I knew an Anglican woman who married a Reformed Jew. They went to synagogue on Saturday and Church on Sunday with their children using the idea that in growing up, the kids would become adults that can make up their own mind. Obviously it's also a case of ymmv.
     
  3. myst33

    myst33 Well-Known Member

    +1,215
    Czech Republic
    Christian
    Single
    You must have the same values or else your relationship will not last or will be a constant fight.

    And to know if you have the same values, you must talk about it and about what you both see as important.

    Church labels are not sufficient for this decision.
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Like Like x 1
    • Useful Useful x 1
    • List
  4. Albion

    Albion Facilitator

    +29,775
    Anglican
    Married
    It was said in a reply prior to this one, but I would also say that it's not so much the difference of denomination as it is the willingness of the two persons to "live and let live" when it comes to the arrangement. Many couples, some of quite different church backgrounds and affiliations, get along fine simply by recognizing that each person has his or her faith but respects the other one's decision.

    Of course, this doesn't work with some couples, but it's their personalities, not the religious affiliations, that almost always bring about that result.
     
  5. Silverback

    Silverback Well-Known Member

    +702
    United States
    Lutheran
    Married
    In either case there is the possibility it will cause problems in any relationship. However, many other issues cause problems in relationships, and can ultimately sink them, not just differences in matters of faith and practice.

    In all honesty, it would depend on how committed both persons are to their particular "brand" of Christianity".
    If neither has been to services in 10 years, and they view themselves as Anglican, and Lutheran because they were baptized in an Anglican, or Lutheran church, then it's probably not a show stopper. However, one cannot predict the future, at some point one, or both, may return to there faith community (and that should be applauded) and that can cause major problems in any relationship.

    As close as a couple can get in this predicament the better.
     
  6. Pavel Mosko

    Pavel Mosko Arch-Dude of the Apostolic Supporter

    +3,742
    United States
    Oriental Orthodox
    Single
    lol if Protestants cannot marry other Protestants outside their specific denomination, Protestantism will go into sharp decline to the point of becoming an endangered species in 50-100 years. Christians have long married other Christians of different Faith traditions out of necessity, with varied results. Naturally it is best to marry within your own Tradition, Communion, denomination or whatever if you have good prospects, but lots of people just don't have many options in the place they live etc.
     
  7. Bible Highlighter

    Bible Highlighter Law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul. Supporter

    +7,091
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Married
    Seeing two of my family members had problems because of faith issues, and the trouble that resulted even afterwards, I would say that the most important thing you can do is to find that special someone who believes the Bible in the same way you do. I would ask God to bring your soulmate into your life and then wait upon the Lord. Granted, you can put yourself out there on Christian dating sites. I found my Christian soulmate after praying for almost 20 years. I ended up dating a Christian woman halfway around the world and now we are married and happily living together.

    Don't settle for second best when it comes to your other half. They are supposed to compliment you and complete you in serving the Lord.
     
  8. Bible Highlighter

    Bible Highlighter Law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul. Supporter

    +7,091
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Married
    Proverbs 18:22 says,
    He who finds a wife finds a good thing,
    And obtains favor from the LORD.”

    In other words, you will know it is your wife.
    There will be no question about it.
     
  9. Darkhorse

    Darkhorse just horsing around

    +3,857
    United States
    Presbyterian
    Married
    US-Republican
    Individuals are more important than denominations.

    Although my parents were Presbyterian, we also attended different protestant denominations for extended periods of time, including Lutherans, Methodists, and Disciples of Christ.

    As a child and young adult, many of my girlfriends were Catholic. My first date was with a Catholic lady. One of those Catholic dates became my wife. In all fairness, she was beginning to have issues with the Catholic church when we met, but...I went to mass with her, and she went to the Presbyterian church with me. She liked the Presbyterians more than I liked the Catholics, so she joined the Presbyterians. We have been married 30 years, and are very active in the church.

    Values, including religious values, are what's important - not labels.
     
  10. Isilwen

    Isilwen Well-Known Member

    +1,863
    United States
    Episcopalian
    In Relationship
    US-Democrat
    Mine ended in divorce. I was the Catholic, albeit not practicing and she the Pentecostal leaning churchgoer.

    Many, many fights, especially because the church that she was going to was more like a cult than even a Pentecostal church. She wanted me to lead prayer and stuff, and that just isn't who I am. She wanted me to lead her and make all the decisions, again, not at all who I am. She would never go to a church that I wanted to go to which is a liturgical church.

    There were other reasons like I just couldn't make her happy at all, no matter what I did. So, she divorced me.

    I'm sure it can work, but it's hard work. Marriage itself is hard work, even when you do agree with things such as which church to attend.

    Now I have a girlfriend who is Episcopalian and I myself have left the Catholic church and am now Episcopalian and really do enjoy going to church with someone that I love. I don't have to lead her, she doesn't need me to. We are equals. We also prayed for each other before meeting as in we prayed for God to bring us the person who He has in mind for us and we started talking three days later. This has been the best relationship I have ever been in. Literally night and day.
     
  11. com7fy8

    com7fy8 Well-Known Member Supporter

    +4,932
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    It depends on the couple.

    There are denomination members who are not into the official stuff of their group.

    I think there are ones who stay with a group, but they learn God's word more and more so they outgrow their denomination; but they stay in order to share with friends and family and in order to love and help others. They could do well with someone else who is also maturing in God's word and discovering what is better than their denomination is saying . . . or emphasizing for attention.

    But it might be good to marry someone else who is growing in the same denomination, but who knows God's word is giving them better. And they stay and minister with one another.

    But the issue can be if the denomination is too compromised, and therefore if they can in good conscience stay.

    In a same denomination, member churches can be very different, by the way. One church can be dumping morals and theology, while another is growing in God's word. There are denominations whose high-up leaders are dumping God's word, yet certain churches are flourishing spiritually while still members of the denomination.

    Ones might stay in order to reach ones they feel have gone the wrong way.

    I think it could be good to marry someone who will live with you in the same house, plus perhaps share with you in the same church :)

    But I suppose you could go to each other's place.
     
  12. Tolworth John

    Tolworth John Well-Known Member Supporter

    +3,621
    United Kingdom
    Non-Denom
    Married
    Talk to him/her, Dre they a Christian or merely a church attended.
    Ask about alternating at each others church, ditto midweek meetings etc.
    Talk about what you each believe, how you work out one's believe into how one lives.

    Try starting a Bible study with others, sharing in a local evangelistic mission etc.

    It is only when you are thinking about marriage that you need to start working out which church you are both going to belong to.
     
  13. Bob Crowley

    Bob Crowley Well-Known Member Supporter

    +1,061
    Australia
    Catholic
    Married
    When my wife and I were married, we were both Protestant. I was Presbyterian, she was Baptist.

    We initially started going to a Baptist Church, but after a couple of years went Wesleyan Methodist.

    But I was being drawn to the Catholic Church. I don't suppose she liked it much, but she's grown to accept it. She's now an associate member of the Saint Vincent de Paul Society and does visits with me but doesn't attend my church except on rare occasions. I go to hers now and again.

    However I had two advantages - I knew she was the woman I was supposed to marry, and I also knew I was supposed to go Catholic, thanks to my old Protestant pastor. God was behind both decisions.

    In the case of the Catholic Church, the old pastor predicted it viz. "I think you'll become Catholic ... I think you might be happier there (although I enjoyed my time in his church due to the quality of the people)..." I argued back, saying "It seems to me that God's taken me out of the Catholic Church through my father (long story)...". He replied "I think He might want you to go back there ... etc. etc." There were some other reasons, but I won't elaborate on that here.

    In the case of our marriage, I was going through a divorce when I became Christian .. another long story. But after about eight years I was getting a bit restive, and complained to the pastor. He said "You might go to a conference and meet someone there." So I started going to all these conferences. I wasn't even interested in the topic - just looking around to see if there was anybody suitable. No show. So I went back to the pastor. He rolled his eyes and said "That's not quite what I meant. I was thinking of something like "Christians without Partners" (local group, now non-existent, for unattached Christians). But as soon as he said that, this bubbling sense of joy hit me. It only lasted a minute or even less, but I knew then that was what I was supposed to do.

    Sure enough, I think it was about the second time we were both there together that we met, and a year or so later were married.

    So between the pastor's prediction about becoming Catholic, and the "bubbling sense of joy" regarding the dating scene, It was obvious to me that God was involved in both decisions.

    Which is what it boils down to - is God involved or not? As the old pastor said, "When it comes to love, the heart rules the head." So we very often make mistakes.

    My advice would be to check out your decision about a possible cross- denominational marriage with a wise Christian or three.
     
  14. Daniel Marsh

    Daniel Marsh Well-Known Member

    +2,131
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    US-Republican
    It depends on the people involved.
     
  15. Silverback

    Silverback Well-Known Member

    +702
    United States
    Lutheran
    Married
    I agree...and from a mans perspective, here are some additional things to avoid:

    -Single mothers, even with adult children.
    -Women with multicolor hair
    -Women with tattoos
    -Women who drink
    -Women who smoke (includes pot)
    -Women who use illicit drugs
    -Women who abuse Rx Drugs
    -Women who gamble
    -Women who admit to any type of abuse
    -Women who are atheists
    -Women with crazy family members

    There are other disqualifiers as well, this is a good start though.

    The other thing is to run a credit check on your fiance, if she ran her credit score into the ground, she will run your credit into the ground.
     
  16. Isilwen

    Isilwen Well-Known Member

    +1,863
    United States
    Episcopalian
    In Relationship
    US-Democrat
    Sheesh! Single mothers? Women with multicolor hair? Women with tattoos? Women that drink?

    At my age, you may only find that a woman doesn't tick off one of those boxes, especially at my age of 46. Especially single mothers with children. Matter of fact, my girlfriend is a single mother, has multicolor hair, has three tattoos, and drinks some, but not often. The best relationship I have ever had and I will be marrying her!

    I think you leave out many great women with this list. With your list, may as well stay single! I agree with maybe the smoking and drug use, but the things I highlighted, you're gonna leave out a whole bevy of great women.
     
  17. Albion

    Albion Facilitator

    +29,775
    Anglican
    Married
    What's more, the Original Post and the questions put to us by the author asked about denominational differences, not how to find the perfect mate, etc. ;)
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • List
  18. Silverback

    Silverback Well-Known Member

    +702
    United States
    Lutheran
    Married
    Stay single?...sometimes it's best. I was in the Navy for my best working years, and observed a whole bushel basket full of disastrous relationships that afflicted our sailors. My list is from that experience, you really could not conceive of the things they were put through...terrible.
     
  19. Yekcidmij

    Yekcidmij Polymath

    +1,255
    United States
    Calvinist
    Married
    US-Others
    Like the answer to almost everything: it depends. I dated a girl who was a Nazarene, though I was a Baptist. To make it worse, I was a Calvinist and she wasn't. We've been married running on ten years now. So it depends on the couple, imo. There are obviously things that have to be decided and agreed on, like, which church do you attend? We moved around the country and both are comfortable enough with our beliefs, so we've ended up taking turns attending churches that suit the other's theological convictions more. I don't recommend church swapping or anything, it just worked out that way for us due to moving around and based on the locations where we lived.

    Also, so far, neither of us has really budged one way or the other theologically, nor do we expect the other to do so.
     
    Last edited: May 1, 2021
  20. Paidiske

    Paidiske Clara bonam audax Supporter

    +15,740
    Australia
    Anglican
    Married
    My husband and I were married fifteen years before he shifted from his denomination to mine. I would say the key is that you have to both be truly respectful and willing to support and encourage your spouse in their walk, even if it's different to yours.
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • List
  21. mama2one

    mama2one Well-Known Member

    +8,219
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    one of us grew up Lutheran & one Roman Catholic
    we have had no problems whatsoever re faith

    we have chosen to raise our child as a Christian
    (but not Lutheran/RC)
     
Loading...