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Dating/marrying someone who wants to go overseas for missions

Discussion in 'Ministry Spouses' started by OfArtemis, Mar 8, 2018.

  1. OfArtemis

    OfArtemis Newbie

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    I'm not a spouse of a missionary but would like to hear from those that are. I'm currently dating a guy who is being called overseas to missions. He has had this strong calling his whole life and is very eager to go as soon as he is able, although it will be a few years yet. I haven't felt a calling towards missions in the same country he does, but I also haven't felt a calling anywhere period. I always imagined I'd just be involved in my church and do short term medical missions. I did also consider turning one of my passions into a ministry before I met my boyfriend. He is also passionate about it and it is one of the ways he hopes to minister to the people in the country he is called to. So you could say our life plans do line up, but not the country.

    Obviously I love him very much and I really want to be there to support and encourage him while he's serving where God has called him. I'm just worried about whether or not that's a good enough reason to move to another country in the long run. I very much want to be with him and so I hope that since I want to serve God wherever I am and support him in serving God is good reason to move. However, leaving my home country would be really scary and hard, especially since I will no longer be able to do what I went to college for.

    My question is if it is a bad idea to continue to date and consider marrying someone who has such a strong calling when I do not. I definitely want to be involved in ministry, but if my boyfriend was never in the picture I'd be very happy to stay in my home country and do ministry here. In a few years when the "honeymoon phase" wears off would I end up being more of a hindrance than a supportive wife from the stress of being in a country where I do not speak (yet) the language and am away from my family and friends?
     
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  2. thecolorsblend

    thecolorsblend If God is your Father, who is your Mother?

    +5,708
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    "Be not unequally yoked". That doesn't just mean "don't marry a non-Christian" (although it means that too). It also means you should compare your vocation with the vocation of whoever you're interested in. A missionary's is a hard life. Sometimes it can even be dangerous. It's not something somebody should pursue unless they're sure. And their spouse had better be equally sure.

    Hate to say it but some things just aren't meant to be.
     
  3. joshua 1 9

    joshua 1 9 Well-Known Member Supporter

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    I have just the opposite problem. I have been married to a women from a third world country for over 20 years. Only she does not want to live there because of her love for her people she is willing to sacrifice herself and live here in America so she can make money and send it back to them. She can help pastors with their education so they can minister to the people. I sent them $1000 once to put a new roof on the room for the youth Sunday school. They also use that room during the week for a kindergarten. I do not believe in women pastors but still they have a women to pastor the church because she is also the teacher of the kindergarten during the week. She lives in a very humble house by the church. They honor me for my help but maybe she is the hero to work so hard for very little money and living standards that we may not consider to be acceptable.

    When we went to visit her country we stopped in Hong Kong and picked up some item that we brought back in our suitcase to sell to pay for our tickets. So I combine business with missions and I did missionary dating to marry my wife from the mission field. Although they usually do not advise that.
     
  4. vinsight4u

    vinsight4u Contributor

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    /nvm
     
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2018
  5. Unofficial Reverand Alex

    Unofficial Reverand Alex Look up Jason Evert on YouTube; he changed my life Supporter

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    Talk about it, pray about it, don't expect quick answers. It's awesome that he wants to do this, and that you want to stick with him.
    To me, this sounds a lot like military marriages; my uncle would be gone for months at a time, sometimes not even able to tell his own wife where he's going or if he'll be safe. Honestly, military marriages are some of the closest relationships there are; the anticipation for his return, and being so proud of what he's doing, are 2 factors that will make your relationship stronger.
    EDIT: Woops, I missed the part about you both moving, full-time. That makes things a lot more complicated...
    I'm not real sure what to say here, but absolutely, you need to be completely open with all your thoughts & feelings about this with your partner. Open communication is absolutely essential in any type of serious relationship, especially when dealing with issues like this. See what you 2 can do. Talk, pray, hope, never lose your faith that God is guiding you both in the best possible directions, and know that He is with you through it all.
    May the Good Lord find some way to let these two children of His come together, so they may both reach the pinnacle of His plan for both of you. Amen
     
    Last edited: Mar 8, 2018
  6. OfArtemis

    OfArtemis Newbie

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    Thank you for all the replies! I really appreciate all the responses.

    He wants to go to France, possibly through YWAM and eventually set up a new base there. I am hoping to do a DTS through YWAM in France soon to get a feel for what that would be like.

    Thank you for the encouragement! We definitely have been praying for God to guide us and speak with us along with discussing it with each other.
     
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  7. Unofficial Reverand Alex

    Unofficial Reverand Alex Look up Jason Evert on YouTube; he changed my life Supporter

    +1,900
    United States
    Catholic
    Single
    He'll be busy in France, with Macron's decision to open up the borders to a flood of refugees & immigrants.
    Good luck on your efforts to learn French; shoot me a PM if you want me to direct you to some resources to help out. I did ACP French last year, and I'm still about halfway fluent, alors on peut practiquer un peu, si t'veux !
    (I hope I didn't break any CF rules by posting in another language...:oops:)
     
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