Dating christian guys

[Vel00]

Hi everyone !

So I have recently entered back the christian dating world, I use to date non-christians but since that became a problem in a serious relationship I am trying to look into christian singles. But I do find christian guys are a bit less confortable with opinionated women... Or is it just me ?

I use to find that when I wouldn't agree on something with a guy he would listen and argue back but just by debating I never felt like it was somewhat "unattractive" and that is what I am feeling from christian guys. But maybe it's just me or I currently happen to experience this.... I have talked to a few christian guys and they don't like being wrong or "loosing" but maybe that is just cultural thing I don't know... I feel there is so a lot more ego at sake and that I am expected to be cute smile and not opinion too strongly. I know the bible tells the women to obey their husband and by the way not totally getting that as well. Since the bible also says that the men and women become one, and that the husband should love his wife like Jesus loves the church so to me it is a bit contrary to obeying.

So I guess I am questioning how a christian relationship should be according to the bible.



Thank you for your responses !

 

[HereIStand]

It's fine to voice your opinion. Be a good listener too. Men or women can debate/discuss, but don't like to be talked over.

At the church I attend, our youth minister is leading a marriage discussion group called Love & Respect. It's noted that women feel unloved while men feel disrespected. Also, our Youth Pastor is preaching a six-part series of sermons on marriage. They will posted at this page in time.

On a lighter note, my wife is a Southern Belle, so I have to adjust to her culture.

 

[Sketcher]

Hi everyone !

So I have recently entered back the christian dating world, I use to date non-christians but since that became a problem in a serious relationship I am trying to look into christian singles. But I do find christian guys are a bit less confortable with opinionated women... Or is it just me ?

I use to find that when I wouldn't agree on something with a guy he would listen and argue back but just by debating I never felt like it was somewhat "unattractive" and that is what I am feeling from christian guys. But maybe it's just me or I currently happen to experience this.... I have talked to a few christian guys and they don't like being wrong or "loosing" but maybe that is just cultural thing I don't know... I feel there is so a lot more ego at sake and that I am expected to be cute smile and not opinion too strongly.

I could listen and argue back, but that tends to alienate people one way or the other. My engagement is easily misinterpreted on the emotional level, and a lot of people don't seem to know what to do with what I actually think. When dealing with a woman I don't know, that means I'm risking coming off as horrible person (the fact that it's not true is easily lost on such people), and thereby risking gossip against me. Not what I'm after on a date. What I would prefer is someone who can listen and understand what I'm really about, and who believes she can back me rather than seeing me as someone she has to change.

I know the bible tells the women to obey their husband and by the way not totally getting that as well. Since the bible also says that the men and women become one, and that the husband should love his wife like Jesus loves the church so to me it is a bit contrary to obeying.

So I guess I am questioning how a christian relationship should be according to the bible.

It says "submit." What it means in practice is serve in humility. Philippians 2:1-8 is at the heart of it, and is what every Christian is called to do anyway. Submission to the husband is the wife's manifestation of this ethic, and laying down his life for his wife is the husband's manifestation of it. The more mature a believer is, the more readily they will do this. Husbands have a great need to be respected, even the ones without much in the way of insecurities. Wives of course need to be loved.