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Cruel and unusual or great idea??

Discussion in 'Friendship Court' started by mistygail, Oct 21, 2002.

  1. mistygail

    mistygail Member

    I am stealing this topic from another site I vist. I am wondering if the views on this will be different here, among christian, than it is at the other site, where there are many unbelievers... So what are you thoughts on this?

    We teamed up with Faith Counseling. Can they help you today?
  2. carmen

    carmen Active Member

    We are warn in the bible that cruel or harsh treatment of children with discipline will lead to a child becoming bitter or having resentment. In her anger I believe she has done much damage already with what she has sown. By the shame she has put him through. Also their must be some form of control issues here. Because I don't know many 15 year olds who would just stand there.
    In saying this I would not like to be in the CPS shoes at the moment.
    But I think Christian help is very much in need for this family. As helping to correct problems within the family rather than making them worse.
  3. stillsmallvoice

    stillsmallvoice The Narn rule!

    Hi all!

    Our Sages say that. "He who shames his fellow man in public has no share in the world-to-come," and that shaming one's fellow in public is tantamount to shedding their blood. I have two boys (thank God!), 2 & 6. Disciplining them when necessary is a constant challenge but I think that the Mom in question went over the line.

    Be well!

    ssv :wave:
  4. Gerry

    Gerry Jesus Paid It All

    Of course the mother was wrong and you cannot sell me the idea she loves her son. She is a failure as a parent and her son has paid the price for it. I justy hope she is not insulting Christ by claiming to be a Christian as well.
  5. Sharky

    Sharky Rockin dude!

    Well maybe she should take a few steps back and check herself out. School is important but its not something to suffer over it.

    There are people i've heard about who literally killed themselves because their parents are taking total control of their lives right into college. No choices, no nothing. Just straight A's, full on work, no freedom and a burning urge to put themselves out of the misery.

    Sometimes you don't need weapons to kill people :(.
  6. fieldmouse3

    fieldmouse3 Contributor

    What she did was humiliating, and DEFINITELY wrong, but not abusive. She made a mistake...it doesn't make her a bad mother, but it does mean that she needs some help.
  7. Dewjunkie

    Dewjunkie Well-Known Member

    IMO, there are some problems with her parenting skills that go back long before her son was 15. It seems like a drastic move to move the embarassment off of her shoulders and on to his. Maybe she should stand on the corner with a sign that says "I can't get my son to obey me because I haven't instilled the values of obedience and hard work in him before now, and I hate to think what the PTA thinks of me now....."
  8. Gerry

    Gerry Jesus Paid It All

    EXCELLENT suggestion!
  9. paulewog

    paulewog Father of Insanity; Child of Music.

    She could have just disciplined like it says in Proverbs. :p "spare the rod, spoil the child" ;)

    (not like I felt like telling mom not to spare the rod when *I* was younger :eek: :D)
  10. 4jc

    4jc Active Member

    I think that is pathetic. It is degrading to the child, and the mother needs to get help. Not just help for the child to realize that homework is important, but help for her way of punishing her child. A child will NOT learn from punishment like that.
    Help for the entire family is needed. And the only help that will really help is God. I hope someone understanding can reach the mother and help her.
  11. amie

    amie Survivor

    I think she should stand on the street corner wearing a sign that says "I'm the mom who chose to publicly humiliate my son, honk if you think I was fair" then lets see how many honks she gets! :(
  12. Rae

    Rae Pro-Marriage. All marriage.

    I think that woman, and her son (does she have any other children?), and the rest of her family, need a good therapist ASAP.
  13. paulewog

    paulewog Father of Insanity; Child of Music.

    /me thinks they need to spend time in the Bible first.... it appears they don't have a good relationship with themsleves OR God....
  14. Martin

    Martin Senior Veteran

    I think that we are all agreed that she went too far.....

    I'm pretty sure that if she had done that in the UK, she would have been accused of inflicting emotional abuse on her son and would in all likelyhood be a Social Services' case.

    Trouble is, she is not alone. There are many parents who don't know how to parent. Again, in the UK, where parenting classes have been established, the levels of abuse and crime have significantly diminished.

    I often wonder whether social trends which mean that people no longer tend to live close by to their parents and grandparents has had it's effect. When there was close proximity of the nuclear family, do you think people learn good parenting skills?

    At our church we are embarking on teaching people parenting skills and the response to date has been positive - there is a need out there.....
  15. Gerry

    Gerry Jesus Paid It All

    At least it would be a quiet neighborhood, and people could sleep at any hour.
  16. psalmist

    psalmist Member

  17. JohnR7

    JohnR7 Well-Known Member

    She can get a 15 year old boy to stand out on the street corner with a sign around his neck, but she can not get him to do his homework? 

    With a lot of 15 year old's your doing good to get them to the supper table on time and to take a bath every now and then. How did she manage to get him to stand out on a street corner like that? Sounds to me like she is controling and manipulative.

    When I was in the Philippines, I was very impressed with the school system there. They treat the students with respect and diginity. There is still some remnant in their culture where you would not ever cause another person to "lose face". They just do not degrade or belittle people and they do not tolerate that going on there.

    What a contrast that is to america where so much of out television is invoved with tearing people down or trying to make them look their worst. No christian should be involved in conversation or anything that would do anything other than to build up, strengthen or encourage people.

    The Bible is clear, that those who tear down and destroy, will be destroyed. Those who build up, encourage and edify in love, will be redeemed.