~ Crude Coworker ~

[CoolDude68]

Hey peeps! How's it going?

I've been dealing with a coworker who's on my team that has been really getting on my last nerve because of his behavior. He's a grown adult, around the same age as I, but his poor attitude and crudeness reminds me of a disobedient teenager. Grown adults in a professional workplace setting should be able to control their behavior, especially around others. However, he can control it when upper management is around, but along side his peers it gets really annoying to me. Others seem to laugh it off, yet it bothers me most because he claims to be a man of God and is one of those who keep the Sabbath and has very strict rules for this modern world.

I don't know what Bible they study, but if he's such a biblical man, why do his actions speak a much different tone? This is the same guy who tried to convince me to start following his religion about a year ago and I almost did until I took a step back from it and sought out my own answers, which I am glad I did. Naturally he thinks his religious practices are the best and I can tell he holds himself higher than anyone else because he makes comments about other religions and pokes fun of them.

Here's his philosophy:

1. All cross symbols are pagan.
2. Most holidays like Christmas and Easter are not biblical. He does acknowledge Passover though, but I think the day differs for them.
3. He doesn't consume any "unclean" meats.
4. Members to his church must be invited and interviewed before they are welcomed in.
5. He does not believe in the Holy Spirit.
6. He does not believe there's an actual Hell.
7. Upon the 2nd coming everyone will be given another chance to be in Heaven.
8. Going to church on Sunday is not biblical.
9. Saturday is the Holy Day. He refuses to work on Saturday.
10. A book he gave me to read has been removed from print because the author realized it was false information.

And I forget all the rest, but you get the idea. Now, I can see why he's like he is. In my opinion he's being deceived and doesn't know it and can't find peace. This may be why he's always agitated, crude and annoying.

The problem is I have to deal with him for over eight hours a day, five days a week! He's like the "loud office guy" who's always shutting his desk drawers real loudly, shuffling around at his desk constantly being noisy, tries to avoid work as much as he can, is not a team player and does what he wants to do, if that makes sense.

I've thought about looking for another job because as each day passes and the wiser I become about the actual truth of religion, the more it bothers me. If I were to approach him about anything that would go against his beliefs I know him, he'd laugh it off and think I was crazy. So I'm never going down that path for it would be a useless venture and only make being around him worse because then he'd have animosity towards me. I just try and ignore him (which is impossible) and he seems to get the upper hand on everybody because he thinks he's the greatest man of knowledge and in favor of God more so than anyone else. He doesn't boast about his religion, but if the subject come up he does have a tendency to bash other religions and laugh like they are non-sense. He is an intelligent person so it's difficult to argue with him so nobody tries and he'll wind up with the last word. One of those guys.

Maybe I'm just writing this to vent but any advice might help me deal with people like this.

 

[Goatee]

See your boss and mention your concerns?

 

[Tolworth John]

Ask him what church he goes to. That will enable you to both check its own web site and see what is on the net about it.
Once you know what he believes you can ask him questions about Christ like living. Things like where in the bible did Jesus laugh at false believes. Didn't Jesus say, A new command I give you, to love others as I have loved you.' Jesus gave his life for us.

Pointing out how unchrist like he is might tone him down, but not for long, so either treat him as the ofice clown or get another job.

 

[CoolDude68]

See your boss and mention your concerns?

Oh, I forgot to mention we have useless management here. There's no accountability where I work no matter what anyone does. So trying to go to the authority figures would be a waste of hot air and would only label me as the complainer.

 

[Albion]

It sounds like he may belong to one of the successor churches of the old Worldwide Church of God founded by Herbert W. Armstrong. They are generally titled the
"____ Church of God" (Living, United, Philadelphia, etc.).

Anyway, my first impulse was to suggest that you occasionally, and gently, remind him that he is showing an example of the people and standards characteristic of his church whenever he acts and talks like he does.

 

[CoolDude68]

Ask him what church he goes to. That will enable you to both check its own web site and see what is on the net about it.
Once you know what he believes you can ask him questions about Christ like living. Things like where in the bible did Jesus laugh at false believes. Didn't Jesus say, A new command I give you, to love others as I have loved you.' Jesus gave his life for us.

Pointing out how unchrist like he is might tone him down, but not for long, so either treat him as the ofice clown or get another job.

I know the church, or the religion he follows, and that's their beliefs but not mine. Nor, does it make it right. I think he's just got personal issues, who knows. Sometimes he'll curse and actually say, "Oh sorry, that's one of my downfalls." and laughs it off. So he's not going to change.

 

[CoolDude68]

It sounds like he may belong to one of the successor churches of the old Worldwide Church of God founded by Herbert W. Armstrong. They are generally titled the
"____ Church of God" (Living, United, Philadelphia, etc.).

Anyway, my first impulse was to suggest that you occasionally, and gently, remind him that he is showing an example of the people and standards characteristic of his church whenever he acts and talks like he does.

That's it. Yes.

 

[Goatee]

Seems like the type of guy that will never change his crude ways. Best to say nothing. Keep your head down and put him on ignore the best you can. Pray for him too if you can.

 

[Tolworth John]

Depends how much you want to get involved?
You could point out you don't curse and if you don't he shouldn't. We are to work at correcting our weaknesses.
If he is unwilling or you don't won't to get involved keep your distance and let it be known that not all Christians are like him.

 

[pdudgeon]

could you ask for a transfer to another office/team?

 

[CoolDude68]

could you ask for a transfer to another office/team?

Yeah, I've contemplated that but I really wouldn't want to deal with working in any other department. Those are much worse. I have a pretty good gig for what I do, it's just a shame there's always one in the crowd who upsets the balance of a good team.

 

[Catherineanne]

Hey peeps! How's it going?

I've been dealing with a coworker who's on my team that has been really getting on my last nerve because of his behavior. He's a grown adult, around the same age as I, but his poor attitude and crudeness reminds me of a disobedient teenager. Grown adults in a professional workplace setting should be able to control their behavior, especially around others. However, he can control it when upper management is around, but along side his peers it gets really annoying to me. Others seem to laugh it off, yet it bothers me most because he claims to be a man of God and is one of those who keep the Sabbath and has very strict rules for this modern world.

I don't know what Bible they study, but if he's such a biblical man, why do his actions speak a much different tone? This is the same guy who tried to convince me to start following his religion about a year ago and I almost did until I took a step back from it and sought out my own answers, which I am glad I did. Naturally he thinks his religious practices are the best and I can tell he holds himself higher than anyone else because he makes comments about other religions and pokes fun of them.

Here's his philosophy:

1. All cross symbols are pagan.
2. Most holidays like Christmas and Easter are not biblical. He does acknowledge Passover though, but I think the day differs for them.
3. He doesn't consume any "unclean" meats.
4. Members to his church must be invited and interviewed before they are welcomed in.
5. He does not believe in the Holy Spirit.
6. He does not believe there's an actual Hell.
7. Upon the 2nd coming everyone will be given another chance to be in Heaven.
8. Going to church on Sunday is not biblical.
9. Saturday is the Holy Day. He refuses to work on Saturday.
10. A book he gave me to read has been removed from print because the author realized it was false information.

And I forget all the rest, but you get the idea. Now, I can see why he's like he is. In my opinion he's being deceived and doesn't know it and can't find peace. This may be why he's always agitated, crude and annoying.

The problem is I have to deal with him for over eight hours a day, five days a week! He's like the "loud office guy" who's always shutting his desk drawers real loudly, shuffling around at his desk constantly being noisy, tries to avoid work as much as he can, is not a team player and does what he wants to do, if that makes sense.

I've thought about looking for another job because as each day passes and the wiser I become about the actual truth of religion, the more it bothers me. If I were to approach him about anything that would go against his beliefs I know him, he'd laugh it off and think I was crazy. So I'm never going down that path for it would be a useless venture and only make being around him worse because then he'd have animosity towards me. I just try and ignore him (which is impossible) and he seems to get the upper hand on everybody because he thinks he's the greatest man of knowledge and in favor of God more so than anyone else. He doesn't boast about his religion, but if the subject come up he does have a tendency to bash other religions and laugh like they are non-sense. He is an intelligent person so it's difficult to argue with him so nobody tries and he'll wind up with the last word. One of those guys.

Maybe I'm just writing this to vent but any advice might help me deal with people like this.

Look for another job.

Not necessarily because of this unpleasant soul, but because your management is too weak to deal with HR issues. This one may just be annoying; what if the next one is more serious?

Time to move on, if you can.

 

[Dave G.]

Well, my view is a little different than most I suppose. I'd probably be looking for ways to get a good word in about scripture here and there. Ask him at the coffee machine or what ever you have if he has noticed people in his church acting out obnoxiously, not pointing a finger at him specifically. Speak completely calmly with him. I've befriended worse sounding people in this way through the years. It's all hot air and probably a lot of tension. Maybe he doesn't know the job so well, maybe home life is bothering him. Usually when people are acting out it's because something is missing in their life or they think so at least.

I will say this, change jobs, change departments for what / we are here to serve the Lord to the best of our ability and these types are everywhere in society. Jesus probably would have been drawn right to this guy LOL ! He always picked the least likely candidates.

 

[Kit Sigmon]

Something I learned early in life, tuning out people and about 75%
of the country western songs...I grew in the south and it seemed all
the places I worked in listened to country western radio stations.

 

[seeking.IAM]

Unlike what some others have said, I would try hard never to engage him on any topic pertaining to religion. You can't win with people like that, nor will you persuade them to your point of view. If he tried to initiate such conversation, I would tell him, "It's best we talk about something else because you're never going to get me to change my belief and your attempt is unwelcome." Then don't take the bait when he continues trying. Once you have told him it is unwelcome, you have an HR matter if he persists.