Hi, I'm posting here for advice as both my family and even my pastor know me too well to give any unbiased advice. At least that's why my Mum wouldn't give me any guidance on these matters. I'm afraid I will have to provide a little bit of background first before I explain the problem.
I'm a 31 year old, single guy who has been back living with his parents for at least 5 years and I feel a little lost. Ever since 1999 I've been battling illness that has resulted in my losing two jobs (I was losing the job I had when I first fell ill except the company closed down before this could occur) - this includes genetic defects in my kidneys, heart and blood (haemochromatosis - body absorbs too much iron and damages organs - in my case my liver). The first resulted in operations when I was 9 and 10 years old which seem to have mostly done the trick. The second two were discovered 3-4 years ago and through treatment my iron levels were brought to almost normal levels, although I seem to suffer from chronic tiredness a lot. However since I am unable to hold a normal job (even part-time - the last job I lost was a part-time job) and the fact that my illnesses cannot be classed as "permanent", this has made my financial situation rather grim too. Anyway, this is not what I need advice on.
For most of my adult life (actually since my teens) I've been buried in computers. All of my jobs have been in the I.T. industry. Its the only area I have bucket-loads of experience - I'm largely self taught although I have had minor lobotomisations carried out on my person by various friends in the I.T. industry. I have no formal qualifications although according to two I.Q. tests my intellect is classed as being above average (not that I believe in their value). I never successfully completed high school due for reasons I won't go into right now. I've never been to university. Now the problem started during the second to last job I was involved in as I started to have very fuzzy, vague thoughts that I really didn't want to fix, install, configure etc. computers anymore. Gradually this thought has turned into a strong conviction for no reason that I can see. Then oneday at Church, one of the older men who is heavily involved in outreach came up to me afterwards and said something along these lines (wish I had a tape recorder handy - BTW this is someone I hardly ever talk to and he really doesn't know what I've been going through other than the illness): "I'm not sure this will mean anything to you, but I believe God wanted me to say to you that He is going to move you out of computers and into something you are better suited for." Ever since then I've been (for obvious reasons this has been in vain) trying to work out what I should be doing. Finances are low (although I pray about that, and Jesus does answer - it's funny how God will answer even the smallest of needs), I feel that my faith is at the lowest point it has ever been, illness has practically destroyed what was left of my life (although I have had a word from God that it won't be a short battle - He's teaching (trying to at least, I'm stubborn I'm afraid) me through the adversity I am facing), both my parents are VERY close to retirement age and really can't support me (not that I want them to anyway), I've looked at various courses at both a secular college and a Christian one but nothing leaps out at me (mind you they all seem to require prerequisites that I dont have). The only abilities outside computers that I seem to have is minor ability with poetry and some art/design ability. So I really don't know what I should do, which direction to go or even if I'm praying for the right kinds of things. Sorry about the vagueness but it is late, I'm (always) tired and I'm not 100% sure really what I'm asking. Maybe I just need to know what to pray to God for in regards to the cross road I'm facing and the pit I seem to have fallen into.
I'm a 31 year old, single guy who has been back living with his parents for at least 5 years and I feel a little lost. Ever since 1999 I've been battling illness that has resulted in my losing two jobs (I was losing the job I had when I first fell ill except the company closed down before this could occur) - this includes genetic defects in my kidneys, heart and blood (haemochromatosis - body absorbs too much iron and damages organs - in my case my liver). The first resulted in operations when I was 9 and 10 years old which seem to have mostly done the trick. The second two were discovered 3-4 years ago and through treatment my iron levels were brought to almost normal levels, although I seem to suffer from chronic tiredness a lot. However since I am unable to hold a normal job (even part-time - the last job I lost was a part-time job) and the fact that my illnesses cannot be classed as "permanent", this has made my financial situation rather grim too. Anyway, this is not what I need advice on.
For most of my adult life (actually since my teens) I've been buried in computers. All of my jobs have been in the I.T. industry. Its the only area I have bucket-loads of experience - I'm largely self taught although I have had minor lobotomisations carried out on my person by various friends in the I.T. industry. I have no formal qualifications although according to two I.Q. tests my intellect is classed as being above average (not that I believe in their value). I never successfully completed high school due for reasons I won't go into right now. I've never been to university. Now the problem started during the second to last job I was involved in as I started to have very fuzzy, vague thoughts that I really didn't want to fix, install, configure etc. computers anymore. Gradually this thought has turned into a strong conviction for no reason that I can see. Then oneday at Church, one of the older men who is heavily involved in outreach came up to me afterwards and said something along these lines (wish I had a tape recorder handy - BTW this is someone I hardly ever talk to and he really doesn't know what I've been going through other than the illness): "I'm not sure this will mean anything to you, but I believe God wanted me to say to you that He is going to move you out of computers and into something you are better suited for." Ever since then I've been (for obvious reasons this has been in vain) trying to work out what I should be doing. Finances are low (although I pray about that, and Jesus does answer - it's funny how God will answer even the smallest of needs), I feel that my faith is at the lowest point it has ever been, illness has practically destroyed what was left of my life (although I have had a word from God that it won't be a short battle - He's teaching (trying to at least, I'm stubborn I'm afraid) me through the adversity I am facing), both my parents are VERY close to retirement age and really can't support me (not that I want them to anyway), I've looked at various courses at both a secular college and a Christian one but nothing leaps out at me (mind you they all seem to require prerequisites that I dont have). The only abilities outside computers that I seem to have is minor ability with poetry and some art/design ability. So I really don't know what I should do, which direction to go or even if I'm praying for the right kinds of things. Sorry about the vagueness but it is late, I'm (always) tired and I'm not 100% sure really what I'm asking. Maybe I just need to know what to pray to God for in regards to the cross road I'm facing and the pit I seem to have fallen into.
