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Creationism... I guess its true!! ::sigh::

Discussion in 'Creation & Evolution' started by Zadok, Apr 14, 2002.

  1. Zadok

    Zadok The Fossil Hound

    199
    +2
    Sorry, I am gonna have to come out of the closet and admit that us Atheists have been creating a conspiracy to destroy any evidence of god, the bible, and creationism for hundreds of years.

    Dinosaurs didn't exist!! The fossil record is a huge conspiracy built and manufactured by us Atheists at the Fossil and More CO. located in New Heaven, Oregon. We build them and place them in the ground coresponding with "fake" geological survey maps placed in strategic locations around the world.

    The reason most animals today don't appear in the fossil record is because we needed evolutionary principles to seem realistic. This would not have been possible have we manufactured cows and chickens and placed them into the ground after covering them with plaster and shelac.

    All of the fossil remains you see in museums today are put their to stimulate grant money for the science of paleontology. Paleontology is a government surname for the private company "GEO-CON", which is a corporation that researches and produces biological and chemical weapons for the upcoming apocalypse headed by the Evil Atheist Conspiracy Table (or EACT for short) so we can further our own communist agendas.

    The fossil record not only stimulates income for GEO-Con, but also creates revenue for toy, comic, cartoon and candy companies that produce dinosaur and dinosaur like materials. This money is also used for nuclear weapons, anti-religious propaganda, genetic testing on humans, and other strange and godless things like mass clonning an army of subservient soldiers with new cybernetic implants.

    Most science is flawed and blatently wrong. All theories are extremely complicated as to disguise our coded messages that we use to communicate through one another. Carbon dating, light speed, and other such notions we use to back our claims that the universe is billions of years old is a farce. We have never been to another planet, so how would we know how far it is?

    The TV news, newspapers, magazines and other such media events are also a hoax. We do this in order to keep people subservient and blind to the truth. We have faked such wonderous things as, the moon landings, fossil fuels, the korean war, and the Kennedy assassinations by propegating and maintaining falsified media events. Tell me, how much of the internet do you think is faked? 95% of it... Just as an example, do you remember the Nacy Karrigan incident? All a publicity stunt to turn your eyes to watching the ice skating sports events while we planted chemicals weapons in every major city in the United States.

    I would like to thank you for questioning our motives and showing flaws in our supposed "theories". You people have given us the motive to change and manipulate our sciences and push our right wing socialist and communistic agendas to their limits. In fact, we have been so sloppy and lazy lately that multiple sources have broken through to expose our claims:

    Coast to Coast with Art Bell

    http://www.ocii.com/~dpwozney/dinosaur.htm -Which is a web site dedicated to exposing the lie that is the fossil record...

    Rush Limbah

    The Daily Show with John Stewart

    CNN

    FOX NEWS

    The OLYMPICS

    So, once again, I must appologize for our conspiracies and our futile attempts at disrupting your views and beliefs. Always remember, SCIENCE IS A LIE!! Just look at the religion Scientology, we made that and it generates billions of internal revenue.
     
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  2. Christi

    Christi Well-Known Member

    +212
    Christian
    Married
    I'm laughing SOOO hard! Thanks! It's a good thing you atheists have a sense of humor or you would be intolerable. Oh, and apology accepted. (Doesn't it feel good to confess?)
     
  3. Zadok

    Zadok The Fossil Hound

    199
    +2
    Trust us, we have a HUGE sense of humor!!!
     
  4. Christi

    Christi Well-Known Member

    +212
    Christian
    Married
    I'll trust you on that. Faith is my strong point. :p
     
  5. Zadok

    Zadok The Fossil Hound

    199
    +2
    Go use the link that I posted. Apparently there is a large group of people who actually believe most of what I said (independant of me of course!!). I joke you not!!!
     
  6. Ephesian

    Ephesian Member

    96
    +2
    Non-Denom
    I notice you didn't apologize for all that back-masking that was being done before the age of CD's. You guy's were behind that too, weren't you? ;)
     
  7. Christi

    Christi Well-Known Member

    +212
    Christian
    Married
    *continues laughing through skimming link*
    Okay, okay, there are always gonna be uhmmmm....radicals(?)...in every group, right? I am quite positive that all Christians don't subscribe to that theory, any more than all athiests worship Satan. I think that the existance of dinosaurs does nothing to negate the existance of God, but I am not going to debate it. Not today, anyway. I am only appreciating your humor here, okay? God is too wonderful, to argue His existance with a perfectly charming human being (whom He created :)) on such a beautiful morning.
     
  8. Zadok

    Zadok The Fossil Hound

    199
    +2
    The Evil Atheist Conspiracy Table (or EACT for short) has the official standing motto:

    "We now their is a god, but we're just in denial!!"

    I would also like to apologize for claiming to collect "fossils". I don't actually collect them, but rather "build" them using common tools used for farming in the back of my father's tool shed. Sorry if I led you on!!
     
  9. Zadok

    Zadok The Fossil Hound

    199
    +2

    Sorry its-

    "We know their is a god, but we're just in denial!!"

    Oh, you wouldn't believe what we have done to conspire against religion. You know what agnosticism is? Its something WE made up so we could have middle of the road followers that blend in and observe what you guys do...
     
  10. Christi

    Christi Well-Known Member

    +212
    Christian
    Married
    You're such a tease!
     
  11. mac_philo

    mac_philo Veteran

    +4
    Atheist
    This is just the tip. Did you also know that atheists are responsible for New Coke? Those terrible 'Ernest' movies? They also invented the pentagram!

    Income taxes? You guessed it, atheistsi.

    I assume you know who invented the evil Ouija board, which is responsible for much of the world's demonic possessions, hallucinations, toe-stubbings, and the like.
     
  12. TheBear

    TheBear NON-WOKED

    +1,758
    United States
    Atheist
    Private
    The lunar landings were a hoax, too. ;)
     
  13. Karen123

    Karen123 Member

    30
    +0
    Y'all are a bunch of sillys. :p
     
  14. 2infinity

    2infinity New Member

    8
    +0
    You THINK you are joking. Such is science, the big truths about the world are moral truths. Science is deceived by
    the world and its veil of illusion, obscuring the deeper moral truths behind everything that give life its meaning objectivity of science as a cover for ulterior motives. The idea of evolution is especially offensive in this regard because it implies that the universe has been value-free through 99.99999 percent of its history, and that people and their values were brought into being by the mechanical operations of an inhuman reality.

    Many scientists are atheists or agnostics who want to believe that the natural world they study is all there is, and being only human, they try to persuade themselves that science gives them grounds for that belief.


    Evolutionists seem to be especially prone to this mistake. The claim that evolution is purposeless and undirected has become almost an article of faith among evolutionary biologists. For example, the official "Statement on Teaching Evolution" from the National Association of Biology Teachers describes evolution as "an unsupervised, impersonal, unpredictable, and natural process." That pretty much rules God out of the picture. One popular book on evolution, Richard Dawkins's Blind Watchmaker, is subtitled Why the Evidence of Evolution Reveals a Universe Without Design. In his book Wonderful Life, Stephen Jay Gould argues that the evolution of human beings was fantastically improbable and that a host of unlikely events had to fall out in just the right way for intelligent life to emerge on this planet. One might well take this as a sign of God's hand at work in the evolutionary process. Gould, however, bends his argument to the opposite conclusion--that the universe is indifferent to our existence and that humans would never evolve a second time if we rewound time's videotape and started over. But to reach this conclusion, you have to assume the very thing that you are trying to prove: namely, that history isn't directed by God. If there is a God, whatever he wills happens by necessity. Because we can't really replay the same stretch of time to see if it always comes out the same way, science has no tests for the presence of God's will in history. Gould's conclusion is a profession of his religious beliefs, not a finding of science.
     
  15. ZiSunka

    ZiSunka It means 'yellow dog'

    +276
    Christian
    I honestly think that neither evolution nor creationism is where it's at.

    They both have so many problems that the answer to th origins of life on earth HAS to be something else, but people are so entrenched in these two systems that nobody can think outside their own box.

    Until y'all shake off the shackles of the evolution/creationism debate, you ain't gonna find the answers.
     
  16. Oliver

    Oliver Senior Member

    639
    +19
    Agnostic
    Married
    Many? I wonder what figures you had in mind when you wrote this. Last time I checked, 40% - 45% of american scientists were christians (I don't know about the other religions, though).
    This hardly supports your claim that scientists accept evolution because it "gives them grounds for that belief [atheism]"
     
  17. mac_philo

    mac_philo Veteran

    +4
    Atheist
    I think those figures are quite out of date, then. There was a survey last year with numbers less than half of those you've given. I believe it was published in Nature, but Scientific American also did a similar survey recently. You can probably find citations for both on a good search engine like google.

    I'm not trying to be confrontational, but I am rather sure that those figures are very inflated. If I remember the survey correctly, something like 15% of US scientists believe in a personal god. But we should find one of the studies.
     
  18. seebs

    seebs God Made Me A Skeptic

    +1,463
    Seeker
    Married
    US-Republican
    It would also depend on how exactly you phrase the question. If I ask a thousand people "Do you believe in God", and then I ask the same thousand people "Do you believe in a God who made humanity from scratch in under a week", I'll get different numbers. You have to think real hard about what questions you want answers to before you start accepting existing "studies".
     
  19. Oliver

    Oliver Senior Member

    639
    +19
    Agnostic
    Married
    I'll go and check these figures then, but they are definitely older than yours. Thanks for the correction.

    I'll try to find the exact question, btw.
     
  20. Josephus

    Josephus <b>Co-Founder Christian Forums</b> Supporter

    +261
    Messianic
    The post-modernity conspiracy is subconcious, and stems from a desire to make rational excuses supporting one's inate desire to "get away with" things they do like having promiscuous sex before marriage, doing drugs, or drinking in excess (all of which are rationally bad for you) - all of which the bible condemns for that very reason.

    Think about it. Subconsiously, if it's not one's desire to remove "God" from the equation, then it's an effort to find another reason or explanation to support one's behavior.

    That is the conspiracy. But the temptation to think so rebelliously doesn't begin with man. It's rather a subconcious suggestion from the Devil himself who appeals to our "sinful nature" - all of which we have since it was Adam's fault to pollute the human race with the knowledge of good and evil - and of which because it was his rebellion to obtain it, we find ourselves more in love with the knowledge of evil (from which that rebellion grows root and grows into), than we do of 'good'; since being 'good' simply means to be reconciled with God. Such reconciliation is impossible for man who either attempts to rationalize his behavior (and thus continues to rebel), or attemps to gain brownie points (with God) in a vain effort to satisfy that infinite being.

    What people fail to realize is that God has made the impossible, possible. So easy in fact, that it merely becomes a simple decision: to give up rebellion and immediately become reconciled to God for doing so, or to continue rebelling.
     
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