If it's in the wrong forum tell me. Too late now but i'll put jokes up in the right one in future 
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1. Asking the children in my Sunday School class, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would I get into Heaven?" "NO"! the children all answered."If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into Heaven"? Again, the answer was "NO"!"Well," I continued, "then how can I get to Heaven?" In the back of the room, a 5 yr. old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"
2. A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy Mother," she asked, "is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, Thou shall not kill."
3. There are three guys talking in a restaurant. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives; the third remains quiet. After a while, one of the first two turns to the third and says, "Well, what about you? What sort of control do you have over your wife?"The third fellow says, "I'll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees." The first two guys were amazed! "What happened then?" they asked."She said, "Get out from under the bed and fight like a man."
4. A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon. "How do you know what to say?" he asked. "Why, God tells me." "Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"
5. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't, dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."
More to come soon!.
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1. Asking the children in my Sunday School class, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would I get into Heaven?" "NO"! the children all answered."If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into Heaven"? Again, the answer was "NO"!"Well," I continued, "then how can I get to Heaven?" In the back of the room, a 5 yr. old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"
2. A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy Mother," she asked, "is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, Thou shall not kill."
3. There are three guys talking in a restaurant. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives; the third remains quiet. After a while, one of the first two turns to the third and says, "Well, what about you? What sort of control do you have over your wife?"The third fellow says, "I'll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees." The first two guys were amazed! "What happened then?" they asked."She said, "Get out from under the bed and fight like a man."
4. A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon. "How do you know what to say?" he asked. "Why, God tells me." "Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"
5. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't, dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."
More to come soon!
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