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Constantly Made To Feel That I Am The Problem

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Every single day I am meant to feel that I am the problem. If I start going somewhere, people who hate me start going where I am going and then getting upset whenever they see me. An example of this is apparently when I started going back to my old school to volunteer (I am not sure if this is reality), then other people start to come into my space including my former best friend and father of my children and then whenever they see me they get upset at seeing me.

My former best friend, for example, lived in another country for several years, came back into my life, in my space, and through the issues, I have been having, used this to get as close as she could to the father of my children, who end up abandoning me. She tells him everything he wants to here, she buys him things, she likes what he likes etc. I remember in a dream where I saw she and another former classmate of mine laughing when I entered a classroom. When I asked them what class this was they listed subjects that I am sure not coincidentally, also seriously interested the father of my children, this is why they were doing these subjects. I got up to because I was not interested in taking these subject areas. I am not going to pretend as if I deeply like something because the father of my children likes something in order to manipulate him, to get him to like me back etc.

I constantly feel every single day that the father of my children is angry with me and blames me for everything, that he and my former best friend are both angry at me, for me disapproving of them hanging out. I feel like I am a third wheel. It is like I don't belong anywhere at any time.

These people around me forget that I am a human being just like them. If they were in the same position I was in what would they do? How would they act? How would they want others to treat them?

I wish that I wasn't here because people around me constantly make me feel bad that I exist. That if I wasn't here, their life would be better, it would be easier for them. That I am constantly in the middle of things creating problems.

There are persons in Jamaica who see my posts and find them funny, actually laughing, because they have no soul. God is not in them. They have no empathy, no care, no humility, there is nothing in them, no humanity, no heart, nothing.
 
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AllDayFaith

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When you feel like you don't belong, you belong to Christ. When you feel insignificant, yours is the kingdom of God. You are right, you have feelings and deserve respect. But if those people don't respect themselves, they will never be able to respect others. You are a treasure that is worth more than all the gold in the world. Keep your head up and seek His face so He can heal your land.
 
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Ricky M

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John 12:25

Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life.


John 15:19

If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.


James 4:4

Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? Whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.


1 John 2:15

Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.


1 Corinthians 4:11

Even unto this present hour we both hunger, and thirst, and are naked, and are buffeted, and have no certain dwelling place; 12 And labor, working with our own hands: being reviled, we bless; being persecuted, we suffer it: 13 Being defamed, we entreat: we are made as the filth of the world, and are the off scouring of all things unto this day. 14 I write not these things to shame you, but as my beloved sons I warn you."


Matthew 5:3

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. 5 Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. 6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. 7 Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. 8 Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. 9 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. 10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 11 Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.


Luke 6:20

“Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God. 21 Blessed are you who hunger now, for you will be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh. 22 Blessed are you when people hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man. 23 “Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven. For that is how their ancestors treated the prophets. 24 “But woe to you who are rich, for you have already received your comfort. 25 Woe to you who are well fed now, for you will go hungry. Woe to you who laugh now, for you will mourn and weep. 26 Woe to you when everyone speaks well of you, for that is how their ancestors treated the false prophets.


2 Corinthians 12:10

That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.


Matthew 10:22

You will be hated by everyone because of Me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.


Philippians 1:21

For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. 22 If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! 23 I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; 24 but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. 25 Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith


1 Thessalonians 3:7

Therefore, brothers and sisters, in all our distress and persecution we were encouraged about you because of your faith. 8 For now we really live, since you are standing firm in the Lord.


***


That feeling that you don't belong in this world? It's because you don't belong to this world. Paul wanted to move on, but chose to remain. God says above all perseverance is the key. It's a war of attrition, with the benefit of knowing who wins in the end. May that be our strength in a life time of trial.
 
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