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How do you deal with not having the close relationships that you see other women having? I go to church because I love God. I don't form relationships. I have tried and tried and tried in the past to get into groups and it's always a miserable failure.

How do you deal with the loneliness? I pray and pray for a Christian woman friend. I have a husband and kids, but I CONSTANTLY hear from preachers and teachers that people MUST fellowship.

We MUST be involved in play groups, and we MUST have close friends and we MUST do small group because God created us to do that.

Well, he didn't create ME to do that, and it causes a lot of guilt, stress and depression because I CAN'T do those things.

Any suggestions?
 

Tigger45

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I have the same problem. when I was younger I used to always have friends but now relationships just don't seem to take root. I really don't why. I can understand a pastor ergging the congregation to get to know each other better and fellowship, but all I can do is make myself available to it a put in effort. Just getting in the door at church at times has been a struggle. There have been times I couldn't bring myself to get out of my truck in the church parking lot so I turned around and went home. So when I show up (which is most of the time lately) smile, shake hands and make small talk I feel I did pretty good. Why beat myself up? It would only discourage me more and then I might not be able to walk through the doors again. Praying for you sister. Just letting you know you're not alone :{)
 
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Thank you for your reply. What a difference it makes just FINALLY knowing I'm NOT THE ONLY ONE!!!

Yes, just going to church is awfully hard some weeks. My husband just doesn't fully understand why I don't want to go. And our new church is one of those where you have to stand, and greet and smile and shake hands... blech.

But I have two kids and I feel almost constant guilt because I don't "socialize" and "fellowship" like I should. It's just tooooo hard and tooooo tiring. Not that I haven't tried in the past, but I'm just so so tired of trying and getting ignored, looked at funny, left out. It's just not worth it! But I do get lonely for fellowship with other Christian women.

It's just sad that most "Christian women" around me are not in anyway Christ-like, kind, understanding or accepting of anyone who isn't as fashionable or out-going as they are. But, then again, I can't be that harsh -- because pretty much the whole WORLD doesn't understand my condition. So, why should they be any different really?

It would be easier for me to give myself credit if I haven't spent so much of my life just desperately trying to be "normal". And I've just now put the pieces together that this is a REAL problem, and my own father is even worse than I am, but I never even questioned the fact that there might be a PROBLEM here. So, to have lived the lie of "normal" with such a miserable internal struggle for so long... how do you go from putting yourself down DAILY for not being better -- to accepting that even showing up is a victory. ::sigh::

It IS a victory though. I'm proud of you for being so accepting and honest with yourself. Do you have a significant other that is understanding or supportive?
 
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singpeace

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Wrong tree,

I totally understand it. It is torture trying to socialize. I don't know why but God gave me the ability to understand it though I don't actually have Asperger's. I have worked with others diagnosed with it, and I have taken several classes on the subject.

God sent me to a special person with Asperger's. That person changed my life for the better, and he and his mom say I somehow changed his life, too. Of course it was all God's doing.

Keep praying for that friend. I know God wants to give you that friend, and He will send her. I am praying also.



Dear Father God, please bring true friends into Wrong tree's life. She is tired of being lonely and alone. Give her someone she can trust and go to when she needs someone. You know it all dear Lord. Please send wonderful people into my sister's life and help her find all that You have purposed for her. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.
 
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Tigger45

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Hi Upthewrongtree I think you hit on something VERY important and that is when you said "how do you go from putting yourself down DAILY". Our thought lifes are critical. What we tell ourselfs creates our feelings and our feeling influence our actions. In 2 Cor. 4-5 it tells us to take EVERY thought captive to the mind of Christ. The bible also tell us to renew our minds DAILY to the mind of Christ. And my favorite verse is Phil. 4:4 (paraphrasing) what ever is good, pure, lovely or of good report think or meditate on THESE things. We are in a spiritual war and we have to be good to ourselves. God does not want us to beat ourselves up. We serve a Loving God. If we sin confess it repent and be done with it because He is. Take EVERY thought captive. I know it take practice but it's worth it. I'm still practicing :{). Yes I finally found a GF who understands me and loves me. It sure makes it a lot easier getting in the door of a church or anywhere when you have someone who cares about you with you. Take care and God bless,
 
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I have a different opinion. I dont think Aspergers is an excuse for us to not do what will help us be all we're created to be. The Word of God is pretty clear that as a member of Christ's body we are called to be part of a community. In practice, I dont feel like shaking hands or going or socializing sometimes, but I've grown to realize that's spiritual warfare of evil trying to hold me back from glorifying God. As iron sharpens iron is so true. Other Christians speaking into my life and holding me accountable has been the best way to make sure I'm living in the Spirit, walking with God.

1Cor12 The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” 22 On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23 and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, 24 while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, 25 so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. 26 If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. 27 Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.
 
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Thank you Sing Peace for the kind words and the prayer. It made me cry. I will keep praying!

And thank you Tigger for the encouragement. You are so right. I need to practice more for sure. I need to take every thought captive to Christ and ignore the world's opinion. I tell myself that all the time, but then the doubt and the guilt creep back in. Sneaky, they are.

And Jesus Freak -- I get what you're saying too. I know intellectually that this is what is called for, and I try to do it. But it's just discouraging over and over to be the odd one out - or join a group just to get the same kind of reactions to my awkward social behavior. I think living with this condition, one of the worst things is knowing that I can be a powerful and helpful person out in the world -- but feeling like I lack the secret code, or the key to be admitted. I can look in from the outside all I want. I can even try to imitate what others are doing on the other side of the glass. But my skills and abilities will never be realized because I just can't find the door -- or I can't seem to make the door-keeper understand I belong there.

That's the way I visualize it anyway.
 
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Yeah, i know it is not easy but I found the more I do it the more comfortable I am. The more I isolate the harder it is. I tell myself the nike motto and dont give myself an out. Also, I worked with a special AS counselor to help. They wanted me to go to a social practice class with other aspergers but I found that to be even more uncomfortable than learning myself.
 
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Janefairlight

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Today is Sunday. I am not in church. I do not "feel" guilty. I am 64 years of age. I have Asperger's. I have struggled all my life with being different, being bullied, not fitting in with neurotypical women. For years I lived with the type of guilt you are experiencing. All the things I "should" be doing, all God's expectations. Actually these are not God's expectations. They are man's, our own expectations, rules we and others make up. In Christ I have freedom. I was born different, I did not chose different. We do not all fit into the same size little boxes. I can't be touched. Church is a great place for forced touching. I don't shake hands. This offends some people. That is their offense, I do the best I can to politely refuse. My husband reaches over me to protect me. My body moves, wiggles, bounces. I sit in the back of the church so I can get up when necessary. Today, I am being careful by staying home. I have learned to read myself and do what is necessary to protect my fragile emotional state.
We do need each other though. And like Jesus Freak states we need community. I need others. Keeping oneself isolated keeps us introspective and that can be a negative, down hill slope. I attend church as often as possible. I found if I attend a very small group of about 6 to 8 people, over time I have felt safe in that group. Any more than that and I get very agitated. I had to leave a group I had been with for years just because two couples were added, but the Lord provided another situation for us.
I have made dear friends over the years. Those who love me, love who I am, not for who I am not. They love me for my differences, not because I try to fit the expected mold.
My husband and I live full time in our RV and are involved in Christian ministry. There is a great deal of change involved. Change is VERY difficult for me. I do not feel bad about doing what I need to do to maintain myself. I need to be alone a lot, but I have learned to share myself with others. I do what I can then I take time for myself.
I do not need to be like other women. I have my own abilities and gifts. I used to feel very discouraged because I could not do what the other volunteers did, clean, cook, garden, socialize like crazy. I have some artistic ability and have found a way to use it for the encouragement of others. I do not shop, quilt, hang out, etc. But, I do what I can in small doses. We need others and others need us. I have a sign on my bathroom mirror. It merely says "I CAN". And I can, even though it may be difficult. I have Asperger's, I am not Asperger's. I am a beloved child of the King of all. We can be an encouragement to others.
When I was young Asperger's was not know. I was a needy mess. I fought day by day just to survive the day. My children had a nutty mom, but I always fought through, doing the very best I could. The Lord told me then that one day I would encourage others. Then I had little to offer. Then death was my constant companion. Dear one, one day you too will offer comfort to others who will see you have fought the good fight. Don't beat yourself up. I know that is easy to say and hard to do. But, you are deeply and completely loved, just as you are by our dear precious Lord. You do not disappoint him, we are just as He made us. See yourself as a blessing to others. Those neurotypical's have their own problems. They need our truth, our gifts, our strengths, our loyalty, and yes they need our weaknesses just as much as we need them. We are all in this together. Your sister's have your back...as they say.
 
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MoeSzyslak

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No offense...., true fellowship with God means having no problem fellowshipping with others.

Before you start pointing your high and mighty proverbial finger around, perhaps you should be a little less ignorant of the situation of some of us. There are many, like myself, who desire fellowship, but are essentially shunned by the Christian church when it comes to fellowship. Obviously we are allowed to attend church and throw our money in the plate, but we are essentially shunned when it comes to fellowship. For the record also, this is not the rant of a new Christian. I have been a Christian for over 20 years. It’s been in several churches and in several denominations. So it’s a rant based upon many experiences in many diverse locations.
I can literally write a encyclopedia on it, but instead I will just write a few examples.
1. I once joined a fellowship group. They got together prayed, took a bike ride and then studied the scriptures. I got about two weeks in. Then they would repeatedly change the time and location and inform everyone but yours truly. So I then started to call on Friday to see what the schedule was. Upon which I was told, the group was cancelled. However, every saturday, same date, same time, same people, same group would meet, minus yours truly. I emailed the group leader and said, if you really don’t want me there just reinstate the group and I won’t join. He never did reply, but the ministry was reinstated. Where should the proverbial finger be pointed on this one?
2. Different church made an announcement during service, they were looking for volunteers for a certain ministry. I filled out the paperwork and volunteered. Next week service, the message was we have not received a single volunteer please consider. Being a little naïve, I figured they lost mine, so I resubmitted it. Next week in service, we didn’t receive a single volunteer so we are cancelling the ministry. I guess I don’t even count as a person. Ironic thing, it was to watch a autistic child, so his parents could attend a study. I think I am a little qualified, but me and my son are on the spectrum. Where should the proverbial finger be pointed on this one?
3. Here’s a good one. I hadn’t been to church in about six months at this point. I ran into the pastor in the grocery store. He said “hi” in full stride. Didn’t even slow down. Didn’t say “hey, I haven’t seen you around, are you coming Sunday?” Nothing!. No, he was not in a rush, I saw him having many stand still conversations with others in the store. Like previously stated, I guess I don’t even qualify as a person. Where should the proverbial finger be pointed on this one?
4. I ran into a ministry I am in, they were meeting in a coffee shop. Not one of them even noticed me, even when I acknowledged them. Come to find out they meet weekly.
5. I recently tried to start a conversation in fellowship time with someone. They casually look around for an escape. “Oh, there’s so and so, I need to talk to them.”. Once? OK. However, this happens everytime, thousands of times, I try.
6. The ironic thing is, there is a guy who attends church who is not a Christian. His wife and kids go and requested to him they attend as a family. He’s a good family guy so he stepped up to their request. He is the only one who will regurarly hold a conversation with me. I’m in a church full of Christian and the only one who will not shun me is the non-christian??!!?? He is a motorcycle biker type. For crying out loud, I can get better fellowship at a bike bar than a Christian church!!??!! Do you realize how sad this reflects on the church?

Like I said, these are just a few examples. I have 23 years of stories in multiple churches/denominations. The answer is not switch churches. I have been to enough to know they are all the same in this regard.
Back to your original post. I have no problems fellowshipping with others. They have the problem fellowshipping with me. So just realize when you go to point your finger around, many times it is not pointed at the person on the spectrum, it is pointed at the other Christians.
When I come to your church some day, what are you going to do? I will be the one sitting in back alone, rocking in my seat. I will be having facial motor tics. Maybe even talking to myself. Are you going to partake and invite to fellowship. And I mean just not a shallow invite, but a real sincere acceptance into fellowship and ministry? Or are you going to go find the “cool acceptable” people instead? I obviously don’t know what you would do, but 99.99% of your brethren will shun me.
I agree the finger needs pointed, but please get it in the right direction. To quote you, I hope this post brings “No offense”. No, on second thought, I hope it offends. Change doesn’t come through comfort.
 
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Janefairlight

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The post "No offense...., true fellowship with God means having no problem fellowshipping with others." is a bit offensive, but if the writer has asperger's we need to give some leeway. As asperger's we can be pretty offensive and not mean to be. If he doesn't we still have to give leeway. Those who do not cannot understand what it is like and constant forgiveness leaves a lot of the heavy weight of bitterness off our shoulders.

I've been a Christian for over 40 years. Yep, I have been not wanted in a couple of churches I have been. I have learned to be quick to apologize when I've known I caused a problem. And Yep...I'm the one sitting in the back of the church, when I have the calmness to attend, rocking, wiggling and bouncing. Nope, I don't want people touching me. I do fellowship with others, when I can. Very small groups of calm people work for me. It took several months to get used to the small group I attended, but then it became a safe place for me. The first weeks were difficult, but I wanted to win over the fear and uncomfortableness. I like people in small doses and have people who love me. I do not feel the need to do what others do. I do not hide who I am. If I have to leave a situation I leave. If others do not like me, that is a great loss for them. I have gifts, talents and am a very loyal friend.

I think it was a positive that I did not know I had asperger's until I was older. My life has been a huge struggle with some positive's thrown in. I thought for years that someday I would be "normal". That I would fit in. Well, we know now, that is not going to happen, but at the same time we just have this one life. It's the life God gave, His choice to make me who I am. Like some of the others have said I have to work like crazy to not let negative's control my thinking. When I must, I go to my little "I need to melt" space, get it over with and then get back into the business of living. It happens alot but I try to keep it short. (I don't always win.) We are fearfully and wonderfully made. We are not mistakes. We can use the gifts and talents we are given for others. We do not need to measure ourselves according to the expectations of others. As some of the others have said...always look to Jesus. His love is pure and constant. You do not have to ever be "good enough" to have His complete affection.
 
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JESUSIAM

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Before you start pointing your high and mighty proverbial finger around, perhaps you should be a little less ignorant of the situation of some of us. There are many, like myself, who desire fellowship, but are essentially shunned by the Christian church when it comes to fellowship. Obviously we are allowed to attend church and throw our money in the plate, but we are essentially shunned when it comes to fellowship. For the record also, this is not the rant of a new Christian. I have been a Christian for over 20 years. It’s been in several churches and in several denominations. So it’s a rant based upon many experiences in many diverse locations.
I can literally write a encyclopedia on it, but instead I will just write a few examples.
1. I once joined a fellowship group. They got together prayed, took a bike ride and then studied the scriptures. I got about two weeks in. Then they would repeatedly change the time and location and inform everyone but yours truly. So I then started to call on Friday to see what the schedule was. Upon which I was told, the group was cancelled. However, every saturday, same date, same time, same people, same group would meet, minus yours truly. I emailed the group leader and said, if you really don’t want me there just reinstate the group and I won’t join. He never did reply, but the ministry was reinstated. Where should the proverbial finger be pointed on this one?
2. Different church made an announcement during service, they were looking for volunteers for a certain ministry. I filled out the paperwork and volunteered. Next week service, the message was we have not received a single volunteer please consider. Being a little naïve, I figured they lost mine, so I resubmitted it. Next week in service, we didn’t receive a single volunteer so we are cancelling the ministry. I guess I don’t even count as a person. Ironic thing, it was to watch a autistic child, so his parents could attend a study. I think I am a little qualified, but me and my son are on the spectrum. Where should the proverbial finger be pointed on this one?
3. Here’s a good one. I hadn’t been to church in about six months at this point. I ran into the pastor in the grocery store. He said “hi” in full stride. Didn’t even slow down. Didn’t say “hey, I haven’t seen you around, are you coming Sunday?” Nothing!. No, he was not in a rush, I saw him having many stand still conversations with others in the store. Like previously stated, I guess I don’t even qualify as a person. Where should the proverbial finger be pointed on this one?
4. I ran into a ministry I am in, they were meeting in a coffee shop. Not one of them even noticed me, even when I acknowledged them. Come to find out they meet weekly.
5. I recently tried to start a conversation in fellowship time with someone. They casually look around for an escape. “Oh, there’s so and so, I need to talk to them.”. Once? OK. However, this happens everytime, thousands of times, I try.
6. The ironic thing is, there is a guy who attends church who is not a Christian. His wife and kids go and requested to him they attend as a family. He’s a good family guy so he stepped up to their request. He is the only one who will regurarly hold a conversation with me. I’m in a church full of Christian and the only one who will not shun me is the non-christian??!!?? He is a motorcycle biker type. For crying out loud, I can get better fellowship at a bike bar than a Christian church!!??!! Do you realize how sad this reflects on the church?

Like I said, these are just a few examples. I have 23 years of stories in multiple churches/denominations. The answer is not switch churches. I have been to enough to know they are all the same in this regard.
Back to your original post. I have no problems fellowshipping with others. They have the problem fellowshipping with me. So just realize when you go to point your finger around, many times it is not pointed at the person on the spectrum, it is pointed at the other Christians.
When I come to your church some day, what are you going to do? I will be the one sitting in back alone, rocking in my seat. I will be having facial motor tics. Maybe even talking to myself. Are you going to partake and invite to fellowship. And I mean just not a shallow invite, but a real sincere acceptance into fellowship and ministry? Or are you going to go find the “cool acceptable” people instead? I obviously don’t know what you would do, but 99.99% of your brethren will shun me.
I agree the finger needs pointed, but please get it in the right direction. To quote you, I hope this post brings “No offense”. No, on second thought, I hope it offends. Change doesn’t come through comfort.

The post "No offense...., true fellowship with God means having no problem fellowshipping with others." is a bit offensive, but if the writer has asperger's we need to give some leeway. As asperger's we can be pretty offensive and not mean to be. If he doesn't we still have to give leeway. Those who do not cannot understand what it is like and constant forgiveness leaves a lot of the heavy weight of bitterness off our shoulders.

I've been a Christian for over 40 years. Yep, I have been not wanted in a couple of churches I have been. I have learned to be quick to apologize when I've known I caused a problem. And Yep...I'm the one sitting in the back of the church, when I have the calmness to attend, rocking, wiggling and bouncing. Nope, I don't want people touching me. I do fellowship with others, when I can. Very small groups of calm people work for me. It took several months to get used to the small group I attended, but then it became a safe place for me. The first weeks were difficult, but I wanted to win over the fear and uncomfortableness. I like people in small doses and have people who love me. I do not feel the need to do what others do. I do not hide who I am. If I have to leave a situation I leave. If others do not like me, that is a great loss for them. I have gifts, talents and am a very loyal friend.

I think it was a positive that I did not know I had asperger's until I was older. My life has been a huge struggle with some positive's thrown in. I thought for years that someday I would be "normal". That I would fit in. Well, we know now, that is not going to happen, but at the same time we just have this one life. It's the life God gave, His choice to make me who I am. Like some of the others have said I have to work like crazy to not let negative's control my thinking. When I must, I go to my little "I need to melt" space, get it over with and then get back into the business of living. It happens alot but I try to keep it short. (I don't always win.) We are fearfully and wonderfully made. We are not mistakes. We can use the gifts and talents we are given for others. We do not need to measure ourselves according to the expectations of others. As some of the others have said...always look to Jesus. His love is pure and constant. You do not have to ever be "good enough" to have His complete affection.

You are my answer to prayer as is also MoeSzyslak, the person who posted here before you. You, him and I are in a simular situation.... I am preparing a post for you both.... back soon!!!!:wave:
 
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hedrick

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These stories are pretty depressing. I can only say it's not all churches. We've got three people of various ages on the spectrum. (Well, at least three. There's no guarantee I know them all.) The oldest one is an elder, the next a youth group leader, and the youngest gets along just fine. We have a couple of other more serious disabilities as well. Maybe it matters that we know them. If someone showed up that we didn't know and acted weird, it might take some getting used to. I certainly know we'd want to understand.

I would certainly not tell someone on the spectrum "true fellowship with God means having no problem fellowshipping with others." That suggests that somebody doesn't know what autism is.
 
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JESUSIAM

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These stories are pretty depressing

I would certainly not tell someone on the spectrum "true fellowship with God means having no problem fellowshipping with others." That suggests that somebody doesn't know what autism is.

At times Jesus had to “press some buttons” to get people’s attention for them to face reality. Even Paul made reference of that which seems foolish to the world. I have studied the Holy Bible for the past 30 years and have been in street ministry. Most of the times when I want to share in spiritual context to what are being discussed in fellowships, people are not receptive. They give me this puzzled look then shun away and go back to their self-justification, self-righteousness, and self-glory. I don’t like to boast. What I’m trying to say is that I try to get them off that mind set and get them focus on the spiritual aspects of things. I do spend a lot of time listening, yet when I am ready to speak no one wants to listen. Everything is self-centered and there is no humility or fear of God. And I am left with only fellowship with my Father.
I hope you understand what I am saying. I have suffered head trauma due to stab wounds to the head. I was diagnosed with anxiety/depressive disorder, and I am also a survivor of physical and sexual child abuse.
True Christian fellowship is hard to come by now in days. Now back to the ordinary, I ask myself, ‘Am I the only hypocrite in this world?’
 
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motherprayer

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Find a place where you will be accepted and loved WHERE YOU ARE. I made it clear at my church when I first started going, "Look, I don't experience the world like the rest of you. I might act odd at times, and distant. If you can't love me as I am, then I can't be here."

That was two years ago, and I've since - SLOWLY - become comfortable with fellowship here and there. But they have always treated me with grace and love, even when I walk in and forget to say hi to everybody, or go running out the door when its too loud, or refuse to stand up when its time to shake hands lol

They love me with Christ's love. I will pray for you that you find people like those at my church, who understand that not everyone is at the same level.
 
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I have suffered head trauma due to stab wounds to the head. I was diagnosed with anxiety/depressive disorder, and I am also a survivor of physical and sexual child abuse.
True Christian fellowship is hard to come by now in days. Now back to the ordinary, I ask myself, ‘Am I the only hypocrite in this world?’

Wow. Thats quite a lot to have to go through. Sorry that all happened to you.

Nevermind world, I can guarantee you're not even the biggest hypocrite in this thread.
 
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