Considering Sleeping with this Guy and Not Feeling Guilty About It..

LovingMother · Nov 30, 2003

Have you asked God for His help? It is in your power to avoid the situation. Choose to be unbent on doing it

Don't go there. Stop associating with this person. You owe it to yourself and Christ.

BabbleOn8806 · Nov 30, 2003

hi JFFL- i have read all your posts and my heart goes out to you so much that i am in tears right now. i am 15 years old... don't let ppl look down on you because of your age but please i am begging you as a fellow teen, friend, sister in Christ and person who cares about you- don't do it. You are right- you are not strong enogh on your own. YOU need GOD.
i am a really independent person. i can't wait to get out of the house. i don't like being told what to do. i am stubborn and i think i can make all my decisions myself.
but this isn't right, and I have spent many nights weeping and repenting because of my haughty attitude. please listen to those who are experienced... and most of all, please listen to God. He loves you so much! don't do it, JFFL. I am praying for you right now and i hope you listen to what i have to say because i am not here to criticize you or bring you down. i am here to encourage you in your walk with CHrist. if you do this, you are disobeying and that will bring so so much pain.
*takes a deep breath*
my parents are both christians but i was born in september 27 EXACTLY 7 months after they were married. and i was 3 days late. not a premature baby.
what does this mean?
my parents had sex out of wedlock.
we haven't talked about it. you know why? because the one time i mentioned it, my mother looked so hurt that i couldn't bear hurt her anymore. she had a really tough past with guys, and the things she did with some guys before my dad she really regrets.
please don't... i can't stress that too much. i am here for you if you need anything. please don't hesitate to PM me... i don't want to see another young person hurt when they have a choice to do what is right...
your sis in Christ,
Babs

TheOriginalWhitehorse · Nov 30, 2003

JesusFreakForLife, I'm noticing your screen name, and then the picture above that name that says, "Smile-Just do it." Are you mocking our Lord? I'd feel really badly if I thought people had poured out their painful personal experiences and support, and the whole thread turned out to be a troll. In the depression forum, there are people with really serious problems. This isn't the place to pull a fast one.

BabbleOn8806 · Nov 30, 2003

i think, based on JFFL's other posts, that she really is hurting.

jesus_freak_for_life · Nov 30, 2003

umm.. excuse me? mocking Jesus? well geez thanks for downplaying my feelings..

BabbleOn8806 · Nov 30, 2003

yes i agree that we all need to plz not jump to conclusions

msjones21 · Nov 30, 2003

Whitehorse, JJFL has been a member for awhile. In fact, I saw one of her posts from back in July where she took the stance of opposing pre-marital stance from a Christian standpoint. I think the "Smile, Just Do It" means to jsut smile. I don't think she was mocking the Lord at all.

msjones21 · Nov 30, 2003

opposing pre-marital stance

Opposing pre-marital sex, not stance.

kevin~ · Nov 30, 2003

you will definitely regret this, do NOT do it... for your own sake please

jesus_freak_for_life · Nov 30, 2003

what's wrong with my avatar?

LovingMother · Nov 30, 2003

Jesus_freak_for_life,

I know you are struggling with this. Here's something you should try before giving in ....

Take out a sheet of paper. On one side of the paper write down all of the things you can lose by having sex now (like your virginity, which you can never get back, possibly your health, the opportunity to give your full self to the one you love in the future, your teen years in that if you get pregnant you would have to be a mom, etc. Don't forget to add that Jesus says that fornication is one of those things that defiles the body).

On the other side of the paper, write down what you expect to gain by having sex now (is there more than just the possibility of gratification? Keep in mind it is likely to be more gratifying if you wait to have sex with the person you love and are committed to spending the rest of your life with.). Be honest with yourself when you are doing this.

Now, you have your choices on paper in writing. Look at it and ask yourself this question; Is it worth it to have sex now?

jesus_freak_for_life · Nov 30, 2003

i know in my HEAD that sleeping with this guy would be wrong.

but im so focused on pleasing HIM.

Kirisutokyoo-shinja · Nov 30, 2003

Rewire your focus to please GOD and ONLY GOD.
The bible says let GOD BE TRUE and let every MAN be a LIER. Also, perhaps you have heard this before, but I can't stand if my parents say something like "Oh you can't please everybody shinja". Yeah thats right, I can't and I'm not trying to. As long as I please God then I have pleased the only one that I need to please, after that, I have no need to please anyone else. Place God First.
Your choice is simple.
Who do you choose?
Your Almighty Father? Or that feeble guy He created?

LovingMother · Nov 30, 2003

jesus_freak_for_life said:
i know in my HEAD that sleeping with this guy would be wrong.

but im so focused on pleasing HIM.

Ah ....

In that case I must say this ....

Unless he has married you, you owe him nothing and his pleasure is not your responsibility no matter what he thinks about it. Do not ever feel guilty about not pleasuring a guy you are not married to. If he pressures you despite you knowing it's wrong, you can tell him to go find a knothole in a fence because you are not his wife or his little jezebel and he had best not treat you that way. You are far better than that!

LovingMother · Nov 30, 2003

Kirisutokyoo-shinja said:
Rewire your focus to please GOD and ONLY GOD.
The bible says let GOD BE TRUE and let every MAN be a LIER. Also, perhaps you have heard this before, but I can't stand if my parents say something like "Oh you can't please everybody shinja". Yeah thats right, I can't and I'm not trying to. As long as I please God then I have pleased the only one that I need to please, after that, I have no need to please anyone else. Place God First.
Your choice is simple.
Who do you choose?
Your Almighty Father? Or that feeble guy He created?

Excellent! Well said!

TheOriginalWhitehorse · Nov 30, 2003

jesus_freak_for_life said:
umm.. excuse me? mocking Jesus? well geez thanks for downplaying my feelings..

Let me ask you this. You already said you have your mind made up. You're bent on doing it, you said. You want to be a nonconformist. Go with your impulses. There is an established religion of which all these are the basic principles of their beliefs.

What do you want us to do for you?

jesus_freak_for_life · Nov 30, 2003

loving mother-
do not misunderstand. he's not pressuring me at all. im doing this all very willingly. i get a high from making others happy and satisfied. it makes me feel wanted.

whitehorse-
please dont be mean. ive come because i need help. i feel distant and i dont know what to do. i dont know how to deal with my stubborness. i dont know how to break it. i need to be convinced that it's wrong. i need to understand why.
otherwise
it. just. wont. stick.
that's just how i work.

LovingMother · Nov 30, 2003

jesus_freak_for_life said:
loving mother-
do not misunderstand. he's not pressuring me at all. im doing this all very willingly. i get a high from making others happy and satisfied. it makes me feel wanted.

I am glad he is not pressuring you and I understand that feeling. This, though, is a pleasure you should save to please and satisfy the man who is committed to spending the rest of his life with you. There are other ways to make people feel good and happy, in general and about themselves. Stay away from pleasures of the flesh until you are married. I doubt you have difficulty finding other ways to make people happy since you are driven to please.

TheOriginalWhitehorse · Nov 30, 2003

I'm not being mean. I'm telling you exactly what you need to hear in order to recognize the situation you're truly in, if in fact you don't already know. It sounds hard, but if that's what it takes to keep you from destroying your body and soul together, you need to hear this.

Where do you think this nonconformist, go-with-your-impulses, don't-let-society-tell-you-what-to-do philosophy comes from? I really want to know what you think about that.

Hopeful · Nov 30, 2003

jesus_freak_for_life said:
bleh... i hate it when people look down on me just because of my age..
i have considered it.. and that's the problem.. i dont care anymore..

i am not looking down on you becuase of your age, but you are acting your age and so i will let that slide

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