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Featured Confusion and Uncertainty about If I'm a true Christian.

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by Chris M., Apr 28, 2019.

  1. Kenny'sID

    Kenny'sID Well-Known Member Supporter

    You know as well as I do, if we get going on this here, there goes the original purpose of the thread. We've both already said our piece and made our man point.

    I'd say start a thread if there weren't plenty out there already on this, but still you can if you want.
  2. Carl Emerson

    Carl Emerson Well-Known Member

    New Zealand
    Good call lets leave it...
  3. Verv

    Verv Senior Veteran

    United States
    Eastern Orthodox
    In Relationship
    I agree with the general consensus here that you really are a good Christian and you shouldn't worry about that, and just keep a penitent heart.

    Some real quick advice for dealing with sexual vice from my experience...

    (1) Marriage. You burn with desire. 1 Corinthians 7:2 clearly states that the purpose of marriage is to avoid fornication and burning with desire.

    The long-term fix to your solution is marriage. It gives you the sexual outlet that you need to not burn always with a strong desire.

    Getting married in the West is easier said than done as many people have fallen into patterns of habitual sin and have no desire having a Christian marriage, but I am telling you that you should even consider looking abroad and in many places to sovle this problem if the answer is not right before you.

    (2) Fasting & exercise. Through controlling what you eat and exercising a lot, you can develop greater control over your body as a whole. Often times, the recommendation is giving up meat and dairy products -- as a form of perhaps even making it stricter after falling into sin.

    Exercising to the point of exhaustion can also be a good way to focus.

    (3) Scheduling. If you fill up your day with planned activities, including ones you enjoy very much, you can actually eliminate problematic times in the day when you do the sin.

    None of these are absolutely sure fire but they definitely can help.
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  4. paul1149

    paul1149 that your faith might rest in the power of God Supporter

    United States
    Stop focusing on yourself and focus on the love of God. God is your friend in this, not your slavemaster. If you have confessed Christ from the heart you are His son and are removed from condemnation (see Rom 8 and 10, for instance). To keep debating in your mind whether you're saved is a waste of time and energy. It's like using a mirror to try to clean your face. It's not going to work. You are not your own judge, anyway, and your opinion will not give you true peace.

    Instead, focus on the love of God in Christ Jesus. We perfect holiness in the fear of the Lord, yes, but we do it in the overriding power of His love, otherwise it is mere works and we don't have a chance. Rom. 6.14 says sin will not have power over you, because you are under grace, not law. The end of Rom 7 describes our inability to conquer sin despite our best efforts, but then in ch. 8 we discover that we are not condemned anyway, due solely to the grace of God.

    If you want to use a mirror, use it the way 2Cor 3 describes, according to the new dynamic our new and better covenant has afforded:

    And we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Lord, the Spirit. -2Cor 3:18
    Don't forget that 1 John says that "if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart and knows all things". He is for you, not against you, so believe the word, lay the old man and his sinful nature down, and press on to the high call of God in Christ Jesus (Php 3 and 4). In Christ you can overcome.
  5. Maria Billingsley

    Maria Billingsley Well-Known Member Supporter

    United States
    In Relationship
    It takes time to heal from a sin that is so powerful such as sexual desire. Unless God does a miracle and wipes this desire from your heart, it remains a thorn in the side. As we know, God does not always remove thorns for example,Paul prayed for his thorn to be taken away but God never did. No one really knows what this thorn was in Paul's side, I myself think it was his guilt for killing many Christians before his conversion. Paul also admitted his flesh was powerful and that he did things he did not want to do and he did not do things he did want to do.

    I see some similarity between you and Paul. But the main difference is he never questioned his salvation. This is the work of the adversary. What better way to make you turn from God thinking He does not love you. This is the work of Satan dear friend! So what to do?
    Jesus Christ of Nazareth never said it was easy to be in His Body. As a matter of fact He said the gate is very narrow and few will find it. He also said to put on the Armor of God. Yes, you are saved but your armor is weak and if you continue you may very well fall away. So put on the Armor of God, rebuke the thought that you are not saved and start towards the narrow path which leads to life. Then I believe you will begin to see the changes you most desire.
    Last edited: Apr 28, 2019
  6. Gracia Singh

    Gracia Singh Newbie Supporter

    United States
    Even as we fail, God's mercy is still working on us, to give us a sense of how damaging sin is, and the strength and inclination to fight against sin. That does not mean that sin is harmless or trifling, but that God works with us to help us, and save us.

    Many folks on here have suggested getting into Scripture, praying, fasting, and staying away from occasions to sin. All good ideas! Useful. Try them. Prayer is your first and best weapon. Spend ten minutes in prayer, in the morning, see how much better your day goes!
  7. Calvin_1985

    Calvin_1985 Active Member

    United States
    Just praying to God for help isn't going to cut it.
  8. Romans 8

    Romans 8 Well-Known Member Supporter

    The creator of this universe and everything in it isn't sufficient enough to cure an addiction? My mistake.
  9. mkgal1

    mkgal1 His perfect way sets me free. 2 Samuel 22:33 Supporter

    Quote from Michael Cusick:

    “I love the quote, interestingly by Dietrich Bonhoeffer. He said that the pursuit of purity is not about the suppression of lust, but about the reorientation of our life to a larger goal. The second part of my life has not been about suppressing the sin, it’s about knowing God, letting God love all of me, living free, living whole, learning what it means to be intimate.” - Restoring the Soul

    ....and I think you'd relate to Michael Cusick's journey a bit, too (in the sense of the doubt and shame you're experiencing) :

    I believe we mature in Christ through our community with others (that's where God's healing is partnered with and practically administered to us). Do you know if there are programs like Celebrate Recovery near you that you can check out?
    Last edited: Apr 28, 2019
  10. SteveIndy

    SteveIndy IndyWatchman.com Supporter

    United States
    You are obviously not sick enough of your sin or you would stop whatever it is that you say you detest so much. God has given you a conviction to stop your sin and to save you the embarrassment of having your family and friends know what you are doing. If you are a child of God He will treat you with kindness to stop your sin but if you reject His kindness He has other ways: Fear, disease, embarrassment, and even death. My advice is to just stop! God has not given you the spirit of timidity but of strength so kick the demons out of your life and go on to maturity. If you are truly His child I would advice you not to test His resolve to get this thing out of your life, either the easy way or the hard way. Modern Protestantism and Catholicism will be no help; the sin you describe is rampant inside the Church and the pulpit. Modern Christianity has no power, it is corrupt to the core. Time is running out, you should act quickly and don't look back.
  11. Swan7

    Swan7 Made in the image of His Grace Supporter

    This is how we know we are saved: 1 John 2:3-6 as Jesus also said: John 14:15-18

    I don't know anything about your life, so I can only keep this general. Keep in mind that God knows all and knows you better than anyone - even yourself. :) (this is meant a comfort and encouragement)

    You say you don't always feel convicted, there are also times I don't always feel conviction either because I either know better (falling into sin and repenting immediately) or out of sheer ignorance. Sometimes God will just watch what I do for a while before really convicting me. In this way does He let me know I've gone too far with something I didn't mean to do, or I went on my own knowledge rather than seeking Him. I hope that makes sense.

    We are both sinners and saints. We are living in sin because or our fallen nature (Adam and Eve), but because of what Jesus Christ has done for all on the cross (or we'd all have perished) we are saved by His blood if we believe in Him. God doesn't want us to perish, truly, He loves us unconditionally.

    There is also a conditional love that Jesus describes in John 14:15 "If you love Me, you will keep My commandments." He even shows this in the OT. He wants us to love Him as He loves the church. God must come first in all aspects of your life. Following after Him (picking up our cross) will lead us to Salvation. He is the only way, truth and the life! Amen! (John 14:6)

    I pray that you will read John and cross that with 1st, 2nd & 3rd John in the Bible. I pray that God will shed light when you read those. Jesus didn't come into the world to condemn us, but to save us. His second coming He will Judge the world. Apart from Jesus Christ there is nothing we can do, but with Him we have everything. We need His strength in everything we do.

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  12. Monk Brendan

    Monk Brendan Well-Known Member Supporter

    United States
    Melkite Catholic
    Get your mind off yourself and your failings, and put it on God and His mercy.
  13. FutureAndAHope

    FutureAndAHope Just me Supporter


    John 8:34-6 Jesus answered them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin. The slave does not remain in the house forever; the son remains forever. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.

    When we allow sin into our lives, we become it's slave. The only way to remove it is to allow the Son, Jesus to set you free. We have to choose to obey God, rather than let the sin control us. Jesus can give you that power, the power to overcome our sin, but you must want it. It also comes with a warning that a slave does not remain in the house forever. We must think soberly about our sin, and purge our life of it, least we fall short of God's grace.

    You must choose to live without sin, God can, and will give you the power over it, but you must desire life more that the passing pleasures of sin.
  14. dcalling

    dcalling Senior Member

    Trust in God, as what can't be done by man God can.
    Also be patient, God has His timeline, one who can't wait will fail (like Saul).
    Remember we are all human, we can't save ourselves, only God can, and even really strong humans fail, if you don't believe me just read the Bible and see how all Jesus' disciples did when he got arrested ....
    At the end it is God who saves, all our sins are what satan used to attack us but God also uses them to remind us how weak we are. Our faith in the Lord will save us. Make sure you keep hating the sin though, the fight is a long one.
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  15. Andrew77

    Andrew77 The walking accident Supporter

    United States
    Like I said, there's a difference. If I am screwing my girlfriend, and I go to church, and they say "screwing someone you are not married to is sin". Now, I have an option of repenting.... and by repenting I stop doing what I now know is evil and wrong.

    If I choose to do what I know is evil and wrong, and yeah I shouldn't be screwing my girlfriend, but I am going to keep doing it.... then I'm the guy Jesus was talking about

    "Why do you call me 'Lord Lord' and do not do the things that I tell you?"

    On the other hand, if I know that screwing someone I'm not married to is wrong, and go to a small party, and I start talking with a girl, and we end up outside talking, and then she invites me to her car, and somehow I end up at her house and sleeping with her....

    Then I wake up the next day... oh no I've sinned. I repent. I tell her I'm not doing that anymore and stop seeing her. I go to church, and pray for forgiveness. Then I don't do that anymore.

    Knowing something is wrong, and stumbling into sin, is not the same thing as saying... yes I know sleeping with my girlfriend I'm not married to, is wrong, but I am going to do it anyway.

    If you are making a conscious choice to do what is sinful, even if you know it's wrong.... Then you are that guy Jesus was talking about.

    "Why do you call me 'Lord Lord' and do not do the things that I tell you?"

    Honestly, who did you think he was talking to? People who hear what he said not to do, or to do, and refused to do it.

    I'll give you an example from my own life. For various reasons, I got into the habit of lying quite a bit when I was younger. At some point in my Christian life, I realized my 'little white lies' were lies, and sinful and wrong.

    I have a policy that now I tell the truth. I've had people complain at me that I am "too truthful" now. Does that mean I never lie? Of course not. Sometime in the heat of the moment, I say something I should not.

    But by the grace of G-d in Heaven, that isn't the pattern of my life, and G-d willing those moments where I fail are fewer and fewer, and far between. I've repented of my old ways, and I don't live like that anymore.

    And I pray on the name of Jesus that, his statement no longer applies to me.

    "Why do you call me 'Lord Lord' and do not do the things that I tell you?"

    I don't keep doing what I know is wrong.
    If you know what you are doing is wrong, and you keep doing it anyway.... you are that guy.
  16. Kenny'sID

    Kenny'sID Well-Known Member Supporter

    As I recall I asked you a few questions, and if you answered them can you please point them out? Thanks
  17. Skittles

    Skittles New Member

    United States
    Hi Chris - rather than get into a debate about salvation I’ll try to comment on your post and hopefully add to some of the really good comments that have already been made. 3 thoughts:
    1. It is good that you acknowledge your struggle and sin. Many, especially in our culture with its malformed view of sexuality, deny. So while the ugly truth is ugly, at least you are being honest. Satan wants your soul and will continue to work to get you to fall away; at least you recognize that.
    2. Jesus told us to take up our cross and follow Him daily. This could be one of your crosses. Sanctification requires suffering and denial of self - think how God can use you to help others down the road who struggle with the same sin. It will be a long fight but remember that the grace of God is greater than any temptation.
    3. Not to go all Catholic on you but look into the Spiritual Exercises if St. Ignatius of Loyola. This is the most practical approach to combating sin I’ve encountered. St. Ignatius knew that vice (in your case the vice of lust which also involves the vice of selfishness/pride) is counter acted by virtues (in your case chastity and humility). They are a zero sum game - by becoming more humble you reduce your pride. By becoming more chaste you reduce the power of lust. Instead just being on “defense” (dear Lord help me to NOT have lustful thoughts) Ignatius recognizes we are in a spiritual battle and taught us to go on offense in that battle (dear Lord help me to grow in humility and chastity). Multiple times each day you examine your thoughts, words, and actions to look for ways where you can grow in humility and chastity. You also learn to avoid a “near occasion of sin”. Your internet filters are a great start, but look at other patterns where you are tempted....certain shows? Certain times of day? Magazines? Driving past the strip club? Working out at the health club when the Swedish Bikini team does their weekly communal workout? There are likely certain traps Satan seeks to lay for you because you have a habit of stepping in them (this is human nature). Become cognizant of those and go out of your way to build chaste habits instead. So - check out his writing and spiritual exercises as a structured way to pursue this fight and help God’s grace work in you and build virtues (they are just good habits so it CAN be done).

    Hope this helps - God bless you as you pursue this battle out of love for Him.
  18. setst777

    setst777 Member Supporter

    United States
    Thank you for posting a very serious issue that many who call themselves Christians never really take seriously as demonstrated by what we observe on Christian campuses, in churches, by church leaders, etc. Sexual desire is an innate desire that runs deep in our fleshly nature - in my nature as well. The desire itself is not evil. Rather the desire to fulfill sexual urges outside of marriage is the sin. .

    I will say this, with God all things are possible. However, without faith no one will see God. . .

    Without faith that daily counts the cost of belonging to Jesus as Lord and Savior, is doomed to failure.

    Refusing sexual sin as your Master shows your Faith in Christ is genuine under great temptation.

    Count the cost, and put on the whole armor of God -
    *** the helmet of salvation (your hope),
    *** the belt of truth (Jesus Christ),
    *** the breastplate or righteousness (sanctified onto God by faith),
    *** feet shod with the Gospel (sharing the Gospel with others),
    *** the Sword of the Spirit (the Word of God),
    *** the shield of Faith by which we extinguish the fiery darts of Satan.

    Continue to be involved in your Christian community, review Scriptures that deal with your issues, and pray about your concerns to God, pray for answers.

    Temptation itself is not the sin. But when temptation comes do not dwell on it. Rather, think of, and keep hold of, the hope you have in Christ Jesus. Use Scripture to counter words of temptation. Always count the cost of following Jesus while remembering what you have to gain by remaining faithful - peace with God, the hope of salvation, the fellowship of the Holy Spirit.

    Stay active in sharing the Gospel.

    Pray for help, and let God know it is not your desire to sin or deliberately sin against Him.

    I feel for you and hope for your victory. Through a continued faith demonstrated in daily sanctifying yourself to your Lord Jesus, always Counting the Cost (your very life), will you gain the victory.
  19. Jonathan Mathews

    Jonathan Mathews Well-Known Member

    To know if you're a true Christian, examine yourself. Look for these in your heart and life:

    BELIEF and CONFESSION of Jesus Christ as the Lord, raised from the dead: Romans 10:9

    FRUITS: Galatians 5:22-23

    SIGNS: Mark 16:17-18

    GIFTS: 1 Corinthians 12:4-11
  20. Blood Bought

    Blood Bought BloodBought

    United States
    God set me free from it supernaturally; at about the time i was ready to give up because I mistakenly bought into the lie that I could never beat this and that I was doomed. One day i became so convicted; i went up in front of Church and repented for being so far away from God. He supernaturally delivered me and I never went back. So don't give up; and don't hide it either. The devil hides in shadows; be open about it.

    Remember the strength of sin is the law. The law brings condemnation; the Grace of God brings freedom. Every day; every minute keep looking at the Christ on the cross because all your sins have been punished on the cross. And Christ is your righteousness; keep your eyes on Jesus - that is the source of your righteousness. When you are struggling; keep your eyes on Jesus and keep thinking over and over; i am the righteousness of God. I have the Holy Spirit; I am a new creation. Then let that truth break the power of sin in your life; and take every thought captive. The cravings won't last forever; you have trained your brain to behave like this. Set your mind on things above.