Confusing Fight with Masturbation

[NoRoadsLeft]

Hey all, I'm Mikey—24.

First off, I'd like to state I think masturbation is, at its face value, potentially sinful. It can lead to definite sins such as lust or adultery.

As per that belief, I've been engaging in a personal abstinence challenge involving the avoidance of masturbation and certainly inappropriate contentography. It wasn't something I did frequently, but I definitely felt regret when pairing it with inappropriate contentography. I know it's not too impressive, but I'm on day 12 and I'm actually sorta proud of that.

Here's where it gets complicated, however:

Ever since I began this extended abstinence from masturbation, I've had sexual thoughts far more frequently. I feel like I see sexuality everywhere. Previously, if I felt so overwhelmed by sexuality that I couldn't stop thinking about it regardless of context, I would engage in masturbation. Then, I would no longer have to deal with those intrusive thoughts (that's a big deal considering I have OCD and several other anxiety disorders intrusive thoughts a very distressing experience).

So in a cruel twist of irony, I'm now thinking of sex far more—like, 75% more—than I was previously. The longer I abstain, the more viciously it gnaws at me. It's got me rethinking the whole deal. Not because it's difficult, but because the whole point was to purify my thoughts of lust for the sake of glory to God. But it seems now my thoughts are more consistently impure than they were before.

I feel like I'm in a catch 22—an unwinnable situation. I have lustful thoughts if I allow myself to touch, but have them more when I don't allow myself to touch. Which is worse? Both. They're both worse. I can think of several reasons why either way is smarter and the other is worse. There seems to be no way I can rid my mind of those things altogether. Either choice, I'm disappointing God, anyway.

I want to be a good son of Christ. I don't want to justify something that seems so blatantly sinful, but I also don't want to trick myself into thinking I've changed my habits when the same stuff is still going on in my head, regardless. It's not like I can entirely detach my sexuality so as to struggle with none of it, though the Lord knows I've wished many times I could.

I really need advice. I'm still young and don't have as much wisdom and understanding as I wish I did. Please be kind and sympathetic.

Thank you,

Mikey

 

[Freth]

I had these issues, and I struggled with them for some time. Here's what worked for me.

• Live a devout Christian life.
  • Recognize what is lacking in your Christian life.
    
    • Pray for help with a sincere heart.
    • Diligently seek the Lord.
    • Put your faith in the Lord to help you.
      
      • Live as you know you should.
        
      • Pull yourself out of the world.
      • Focus on your Christian walk, not what the world is doing.
      • Immerse yourself in the things of God.
      • Read scripture.
• Stop the things in your life you know are causing you to sin.
  • Recognize the triggers.
    • Remove all bad things from your home, your devices.
      
    • Stop all bad habits. Replace sinful activities with wholesome ones.
    • Stop watching/viewing/listening to entertainment you know is a sinful influence.
    • Stop engaging in the world, start engaging in Christ.
    • When you see a photo or video that triggers, turn it off.
• Retrain your mind.
  • Recognize the sinful mind.
    
    • Stop objectifying other people.
      
    • Do not elevate others in your mind, but keep them equal and flawed, like yourself.
    • Focus on the humanity and the flaws, even the nasty habits of humans, not the illusion of perfection. This knocks them down to a normal human level, off the pedestal they were put on. When you see something that has you thinking that sinful way, immediately tear down that image with human flaws that you find disgusting, and it will stop it in its tracks.

This helped me. I have no doubt it will help you. This world has us trained to sin continually. It has skewed our thought processes, so that we think and act selfishly and sinfully. All of these things I mentioned work together to squash this sin.

 

[John Owen]

Hey all, I'm Mikey—24.

First off, I'd like to state I think masturbation is, at its face value, potentially sinful. It can lead to definite sins such as lust or adultery.

As per that belief, I've been engaging in a personal abstinence challenge involving the avoidance of masturbation and certainly inappropriate contentography. It wasn't something I did frequently, but I definitely felt regret when pairing it with inappropriate contentography. I know it's not too impressive, but I'm on day 12 and I'm actually sorta proud of that.

Here's where it gets complicated, however:

Ever since I began this extended abstinence from masturbation, I've had sexual thoughts far more frequently. I feel like I see sexuality everywhere. Previously, if I felt so overwhelmed by sexuality that I couldn't stop thinking about it regardless of context, I would engage in masturbation. Then, I would no longer have to deal with those intrusive thoughts (that's a big deal considering I have OCD and several other anxiety disorders intrusive thoughts a very distressing experience).

So in a cruel twist of irony, I'm now thinking of sex far more—like, 75% more—than I was previously. The longer I abstain, the more viciously it gnaws at me. It's got me rethinking the whole deal. Not because it's difficult, but because the whole point was to purify my thoughts of lust for the sake of glory to God. But it seems now my thoughts are more consistently impure than they were before.

I feel like I'm in a catch 22—an unwinnable situation. I have lustful thoughts if I allow myself to touch, but have them more when I don't allow myself to touch. Which is worse? Both. They're both worse. I can think of several reasons why either way is smarter and the other is worse. There seems to be no way I can rid my mind of those things altogether. Either choice, I'm disappointing God, anyway.

I want to be a good son of Christ. I don't want to justify something that seems so blatantly sinful, but I also don't want to trick myself into thinking I've changed my habits when the same stuff is still going on in my head, regardless. It's not like I can entirely detach my sexuality so as to struggle with none of it, though the Lord knows I've wished many times I could.

I really need advice. I'm still young and don't have as much wisdom and understanding as I wish I did. Please be kind and sympathetic.

Thank you,

Mikey

Give it time. It takes a long time to develop bad habits. And it takes a long time to change, especially to change what you think about.

Me, personally, I believe that you must set your mind on things that engage your thinking, not tv and movies that make you passive. Read books, take a class, build a bookshelf, fix a car. Keep your mind on something good. Over time, the thoughts about sex will diminish. They will never disappear unless you die.