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Hi
I am really confused about life at the moment and am hoping that someone out there can help me. I have some friends who do try and one who totally understands me but really need some outside advice. Ok well life is really getting on top of me at the moment (i am on anti-depressents and can't sleep without using a sleeping pill) and I don't know how to get out of this downward spiral which I've been on for years. For as long as I can remember my brother has had ADHD and has caused my parents alot of worry (we have had to call the police too many times to remeber because he has been smashing up the house/threatening us) and as most of his anger was curbed onto me they found it hard to make choices about what to do about him because they love both of us. From the ages of 7-9ish i was continually sexually abused by him and eventaully told my parents when a friend made me. Things didn't improve much, social services did nothing, so me and my mum had to move out to live with a friend and leave my dad to cope with him as it was too dangerous for us.
I was lonely at school and my mum broke her arm and everything became too much and i got ill with m.e and had to give up school. Things with m.e got worse and my brother got a bit better so mum + me went back home. I didn't get better, though, and had to go into hospital for 3 weeks when i lost the use of my legs and was in a wheelchair. I was in the wheelchair until July 24th 2001, from the ages of 12-14. I went back to school september 2001 (harder than giving back wheelchair) and still get worn out physically and emotionally. But the problems don't stop there. I have a real problem with my weight (i can admit it now, but can't get help as my parents can't know) and sometimes cut myself and over-dose. I doubt God so much and gave up church when i first became ill. Now all i want is to turn around and get help but I don't know where to start. I want to have a proper relationship with God and although i do some things for him (i am on a discipleship program and go to my christian group at school each wednesday) i often find myself denying him and doubting him. I need guidance and i don't know which way to turn. Also a question - since i was abused against my will, does that still mean I have broken the commandment telling you not to have sex outside of marriage?
If anyone can help i will be so greatfull, i am at the end of my teather. Thankyou so much for your time in reading this,
God be with you all
Anna xxx
Hi
I am really confused about life at the moment and am hoping that someone out there can help me. I have some friends who do try and one who totally understands me but really need some outside advice. Ok well life is really getting on top of me at the moment (i am on anti-depressents and can't sleep without using a sleeping pill) and I don't know how to get out of this downward spiral which I've been on for years. For as long as I can remember my brother has had ADHD and has caused my parents alot of worry (we have had to call the police too many times to remeber because he has been smashing up the house/threatening us) and as most of his anger was curbed onto me they found it hard to make choices about what to do about him because they love both of us. From the ages of 7-9ish i was continually sexually abused by him and eventaully told my parents when a friend made me. Things didn't improve much, social services did nothing, so me and my mum had to move out to live with a friend and leave my dad to cope with him as it was too dangerous for us.
I was lonely at school and my mum broke her arm and everything became too much and i got ill with m.e and had to give up school. Things with m.e got worse and my brother got a bit better so mum + me went back home. I didn't get better, though, and had to go into hospital for 3 weeks when i lost the use of my legs and was in a wheelchair. I was in the wheelchair until July 24th 2001, from the ages of 12-14. I went back to school september 2001 (harder than giving back wheelchair) and still get worn out physically and emotionally. But the problems don't stop there. I have a real problem with my weight (i can admit it now, but can't get help as my parents can't know) and sometimes cut myself and over-dose. I doubt God so much and gave up church when i first became ill. Now all i want is to turn around and get help but I don't know where to start. I want to have a proper relationship with God and although i do some things for him (i am on a discipleship program and go to my christian group at school each wednesday) i often find myself denying him and doubting him. I need guidance and i don't know which way to turn. Also a question - since i was abused against my will, does that still mean I have broken the commandment telling you not to have sex outside of marriage?
If anyone can help i will be so greatfull, i am at the end of my teather. Thankyou so much for your time in reading this,
God be with you all
Anna xxx
