Condoning sin.

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dies-l

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I believe that, in the context of an appropriate relationship (e.g., friend, family, marriage), genuine love will lead is to help the other to see the harm that their choices are making. If I see a friend making a foolish decision and I care about them, I should be willing to confront them about their choice. However, if I see a person making an unwise choice, and I do not have a trust relationship with that person, it seems to me that to confront that person is really quite arrogant and judgmental. The difference, in my mind, is the motives and the likely result.

For example, let's say that I believe that homosexual sex is harmful. If I go up to a random openly gay person on the street or even perhaps a coworker who is gay, and tell them what I think of their lifestyle, I have really only alienated myself from them and closed off the possibility of building with that person a meaningful relationship in which we can disciple one another in Christian love. The other person is likely going to dismiss what I tell him (or her) as none being none of my business (and rightly so). And, if I go into this confrontation knowing that there is no reason for them to respond to my belief, the only conceivable motive I would have to confront him anyway would be to show off my own moral superiority (which is exactly the opposite of what we are called to do as Christians).

On the other hand, the situation is different in the context of a proper relationship. For example, my wife and I have some friends that are in the middle of what appears to be a looming divorce. We have heard both of their perspectives, and it seems that both of them are acting out of incredibly selfish motives. My wife, who is close friends with the woman, decided that it was important that she say something to her to remind her to seek God and His plan for their marriage, rather than clinging to her own selfish desires, which were helping to tear apart the marriage. I know that there are guys that we know, who are close friends with the husband, who are telling him pretty much the same thing. I don't know that this is going to prevent them from divorcing, but I do believe that the message that is sent in this scenario is one of love and concern, rather than arrogance and judgmentalism.

But, the only way I see this working out for good is that we continue to love and support our friends, even if they make what we believe to be a sinful choice. We (well not me personally, because I am not really as close to either of them as those who have been counseling them) have said our peace and have tried to show them why we believe that their choice is dishonoring to one another and to God. Thus, we are not condoning their conduct. By the same token, if we were to condition our friendship on the choices that they make, we would fail to exhibit to them the love of Christ.

In short, to say nothing to those whom God has placed us into spiritually intimate relationships with is to "condone sin." On the other hand, to condition our friendship on their choices is to exhibit conditional love (if that can even truly be called love). Neither extreme is Christlike, in my opinion.
 
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Multi-Elis

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Trying to thing of concrete examples...
I don't condone "honor killings" no matter how cultural they are.

I had a friend who was flirting in a mean way with another friend of mine. It was a very unhealthy, sex-object type flirting that was so different from his usual intelligent, self-restraining behavior. And none of the friends around him approved his behavior. He finally stopped. But we continue to admire and respect this guy for all his other qualities. I didn't actually say anything to him, I mostly tried to help the girl, but peer pressure made it clear that the guy's behavior was undermining his credibility.

And then, I have lots of friends that do things I would never do, little law breaking here and there. But they also do a lot of good things, generous loving good things that I can never get myself to do because I'm so upright that I'm in a straight jacket. So we have a status quo: I say nothing of the illegal money they get (while I refuse it) and I watch with amazement at how nice and kind and generous they are willing to be with their money, where as I can't bring myself to give a cent!

So nobody's perfect. I liked the idea of trying to serve others, that would be a good place for me to start if only I could...
 
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ladyt28

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"Condemning the sin" doesn't feel like my job - it's going to be God's place to do that.

Am I accepting the sin by not condemning it? I don't think so. "Acceptance" would be more like condoning/encouraging/openly approving the behavior - there's a big difference to me.

When my friend is an adulterer, if asked by my friend how I feel, I would say "I may not do the same as you but I'm not your judge. I believe that it will do you harm (emotionally and maybe even physically if you're cheating with someone who's married) and I hope you'll feel safe to turn to me if/when you need any kind of help."

When my friend is homosexual, if asked by my friend how I feel? This is a tough one for me. My best friend since I was 5 years old is a lesbian. Am I ever going to turn from her because of it? No, as it has nothing to do with me personally. Do I pray for her? The same as I do for anyone I care about this much. Do I lay the entire issue at our Lords feet? You betcha!

How can someone grab a link to life if all lines have been pulled?? If/when people who lead a life that is inconsistent with Christian teaching want to change, how can they do that if all of the people they have called friends have turned their backs on them? What kind of example are we providing?

What is that verse about taking care of the log in our own eye before becoming concerned with the sty in another's eye? That says it all to me.
 
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Im_A

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"Condemning the sin" doesn't feel like my job - it's going to be God's place to do that.

Am I accepting the sin by not condemning it? I don't think so. "Acceptance" would be more like condoning/encouraging/openly approving the behavior - there's a big difference to me.

When my friend is an adulterer, if asked by my friend how I feel, I would say "I may not do the same as you but I'm not your judge. I believe that it will do you harm (emotionally and maybe even physically if you're cheating with someone who's married) and I hope you'll feel safe to turn to me if/when you need any kind of help."

When my friend is homosexual, if asked by my friend how I feel? This is a tough one for me. My best friend since I was 5 years old is a lesbian. Am I ever going to turn from her because of it? No, as it has nothing to do with me personally. Do I pray for her? The same as I do for anyone I care about this much. Do I lay the entire issue at our Lords feet? You betcha!

How can someone grab a link to life if all lines have been pulled?? If/when people who lead a life that is inconsistent with Christian teaching want to change, how can they do that if all of the people they have called friends have turned their backs on them? What kind of example are we providing?

What is that verse about taking care of the log in our own eye before becoming concerned with the sty in another's eye? That says it all to me.

reminds me of how i feel in a way. i seperate the sin from the sinner because even the sinners do good things, so human can't be solely defined by their "evilness"/"sin"/"badness", especially if we are creations of a supposed perfect creator eh? :)
 
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Protinus

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reminds me of how i feel in a way. i seperate the sin from the sinner because even the sinners do good things, so human can't be solely defined by their "evilness"/"sin"/"badness", especially if we are creations of a supposed perfect creator eh? :)


I think that we are redeemed through our suffering. As such, we turn to sin to separate our knowledge through suffering to cover up our ability to recover or have insight. Therefore, sin separates us from our creator and our propensity to have knowledeg through our pain and to ultimately help others with our experience.

Our only value is to become closer to our creator through the uplifting of others via our experience in our lives.
 
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