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JW876

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Hi,

I am a deputy manager at a charity shop and one of our team's volunteers is taking some time off at the moment, as they deal with difficulties around their mental health. I am essentially feeling uncertain as to what to do in the means of support so wondered whether anyone may be able to offer me their advice?

I have just been with the charity since the Summer but have been informed that the volunteer has been hospitalised in the past due to their mental health issues. They sent an email to my Manager this week to inform them they would not be in and with quite a detailed explanation of how incredibly difficult they are finding things at the moment. As this came to our main inbox, I read the email despite it being addressed to my Manager, which I now recognise was unprofessional of myself. I let my Manager know I had read it and, feeling I wanted to do something to help, contacted them later to ask whether they would perhaps mind asking the volunteer whether they would mind them sharing the email with myself, as I could then just drop them an email to let them know they are welcome to talk with me if they ever need. My Manager responded saying they had emailed them their phone number and saying they can call at any point, so this is positive. However, I worry that there is more I could do to help in some way and just feel I would really like to reach out to them to help them feel more supported, especially as the couple of times we have worked together I felt we bonded really well (I do not usually work the day they volunteer). Although I know my Manager is highly supportive, as they are also a different sex to the volunteer, I know sometimes people find it easier communicating about personal matters with someone of the same sex. As I have also suffered with quite significant mental health difficulties myself, I think this is also partly contributes to my concern to reach to them.

The charity does have safeguarding contacts I can get in touch with for advice. However I have taken this approach a couple of times in a past role, seeking advice above my Manager, and on each occasion, my actions in doing this caused a great deal of discomfort between myself and my Manager, when they understandably then needed to become involved, as a result of the advice I received.

I feel my options are to either:
- Mention to my Manager again that I would appreciate them asking if the volunteer would mind them updating myself on their situation, so I am aware. I will then drop them an email letting them know I am there if they need to talk, as my Manager did.
- Take no further action, pray for them each day and trust that God is fully in control of their situation. They also wrote in the email that they will not be requiring any support from us.
- Raise it as a Safeguarding concern with the charity to gain their advice.
- Email them anyway, admitting having read their email, despite it not being addressed to myself but highlighting that I felt very drawn to let them know I am here if they would like to talk, to indirectly help in signifying to them that there are people around them who care about them - trusting in God that no negative consequences will entail from doing this, as love should always overpower fear and thereby any anxiety I feel around doing this and worries that they could react badly to myself having read the email (they understandably included wording in the email around there being no need for us to share the personal information they had shared with anyone.)

I worry that the volunteer could be feeling suicidal so feel I should do something to help in some way, if I can. I have been praying for wisdom as to whether to do anything and if so, what, as well as praying for their health too. Knowing what balance to have between taking action to show love for others and leaving things in God's hands through prayer, is something I have great difficulty around so I would be very grateful for any advice. Thanks so much.
 

turkle

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If I understand you correctly, the individual in question has already said that he or she does not want any support from anyone in your organization. That would include you. You received this information through unethical means (reading someone else's email). If this individual wanted you to know his or her situation, you would have been contacted directly.

It's nice that you want to be of assistance, but it seems inappropriate to involve yourself in something that is none of your business. Sometimes our desire to rush to the rescue causes more harm than good. I recommend that you pray for this individual and stay out of it.
 
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1watchman

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Yes, we can 'rush' to help and cause impotence. It is good to hear of the concern for others in trouble, but one needs to be appologetic about it, so as to not seem overbearing.
If the condition seemed serious, one might suggest a person seek medical counsel to see if a physician recommends counsel or medication, etc.
It is always good to show concern and care for others, but with care.
 
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JW876

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Go through your manager, let them know you are concerned and want to help, if they keep you at arms length accept it.
Go through your manager, let them know you are concerned and want to help, if they keep you at arms length accept it.


Hi John, I am sorry for the very delayed reply to this. Thanks so much for your advice. I really appreciate it. I took your advice and brought my concerns up with my Manager again and we had a conversation which helped. He seems confident they have support round them and they were back in the shop last week, which is positive. I have been praying for them since which is all I can do at this time really and hope to be able to work with them more in the future.

Thanks very much again
 
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JW876

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If I understand you correctly, the individual in question has already said that he or she does not want any support from anyone in your organization. That would include you. You received this information through unethical means (reading someone else's email). If this individual wanted you to know his or her situation, you would have been contacted directly.

It's nice that you want to be of assistance, but it seems inappropriate to involve yourself in something that is none of your business. Sometimes our desire to rush to the rescue causes more harm than good. I recommend that you pray for this individual and stay out of it.

Hi, I am sorry for the very delayed reply to this. I hugely appreciate your advice so thanks so much for taking the time. I am feeling more at peace about the situation know following further information I have received and have been praying for them since as this is all I can do at this time really.

I sometimes find it hard to understand how far God wishes me to go when it comes to supporting and loving others, at times feeling drawn to put myself and others in difficult positions to benefit someone further down the line.

Best wishes
 
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JW876

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Yes, we can 'rush' to help and cause impotence. It is good to hear of the concern for others in trouble, but one needs to be appologetic about it, so as to not seem overbearing.
If the condition seemed serious, one might suggest a person seek medical counsel to see if a physician recommends counsel or medication, etc.
It is always good to show concern and care for others, but with care.

Hi, Thanks so much for your advice and encouragement. I do apologise for the slow reply. I really appreciate you taking the time to respond. I am feeling more at peace about the situation now after hearing they likely do have wider support round them. I am praying for them which is all I can do at this time really and they were back in the shop last week so this is positive.

I sometimes have difficulty understanding how far God wishes me to go when it comes to supporting and loving others, at times feeling drawn to put myself and others in difficult positions to benefit someone further down the line.

Warm wishes
 
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1watchman

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I wondered if it possible for this thread to be deleted please? I hugely appreciated everyone's advice

Don't worry about it, for it may prove helpful to another soul who has conserns or problems. We can learn from other people's experiences.
 
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