Concerned about sincere repentance

[Ashley755]

Hello! So, this has been bothering me for a while now. I’m very concerned about the condition of my heart when I repent over sin. The story of Esau has stood out to me because he repented to God and apparently had no concern for his actual sin, but rather only wanted to attain his birthright again. He only wanted to avoid the consequences of sin, thinking only of himself. And I’ve been searching my own heart lately. I don’t think my problem is that I’m trying to avoid consequences. See, I have a ministry and I’ve been blessed with the ability to teach many people about God on a daily basis. I struggle with a ton of self doubt and I feel super hypocritical when I fall into sin because I teach these people how wrong it is all the time. I feel awful. To sum up, my fear is that I repent for the wrong reasons; that I repent because I want to be better for my brothers and sisters in Christ and because I want to be a strong mentor for them when I should be repenting because what I’m doing is sinful and therefore offensive to God. I don’t want to harden my heart against Him. It's a very startling thought. Any advice is appreciated.

 

[friend of]

There is a fear of God that we, as devote Christians, experience from time to time, that is, our God is a consuming fire. But don't dwell on that for too long. The Lord loves you and looks well on your repentance. Don't worry too much about motive. Just do and act in repentance and strive to instruct others. If you're struggling with the feeling of hypocrisy, that is just another part of our imperfection as created beings. It is better to warn others than not to warn them. Strong mentors cannot be perfect in this life, we are all subject to human imperfections. Keep striving in your walk and relying on Christ ultimately. Blessings upon you.

 

[Valetic]

What's more important to you - being in right relationship with God or... What were we talking about again?

 

[“Paisios”]

Hello! So, this has been bothering me for a while now. I’m very concerned about the condition of my heart when I repent over sin. The story of Esau has stood out to me because he repented to God and apparently had no concern for his actual sin, but rather only wanted to attain his birthright again. He only wanted to avoid the consequences of sin, thinking only of himself. And I’ve been searching my own heart lately. I don’t think my problem is that I’m trying to avoid consequences. See, I have a ministry and I’ve been blessed with the ability to teach many people about God on a daily basis. I struggle with a ton of self doubt and I feel super hypocritical when I fall into sin because I teach these people how wrong it is all the time. I feel awful. To sum up, my fear is that I repent for the wrong reasons; that I repent because I want to be better for my brothers and sisters in Christ and because I want to be a strong mentor for them when I should be repenting because what I’m doing is sinful and therefore offensive to God. I don’t want to harden my heart against Him. It's a very startling thought. Any advice is appreciated.

This I pray every day:

“Sweet Jesus, my Lord and Master, through Your holy passion You have healed my evil passions, and through Your sacred wounds You have cured my sinful wounds. Grant me, who have greatly sinned against You, tears of
“compunction. Purify my body with the fragrance of Your life-giving Body, and sweeten my soul with Your sacred Blood, casting out the bitterness with which the adversary has fed me. Lift up my earthbound mind to You and take me out of the pit of perdition. I have no sincere repentance, I have no true compunction, I have no consoling tears to lead me as a child of God to my spiritual inheritance. My mind has been darkened through worldly passions. I cannot look up to You in grieving remorse. I cannot warm myself with tears of love for You. But, Lord Jesus Christ, the treasury of blessings, grant me thorough repentance and a diligent heart to seek You. Grant me Your grace and renew in me the form of Your image. I have forsaken You; but, Lord, do not forsake me. Come out to seek me; lead me to Your pasture; number me among the sheep of Your chosen flock and nourish me with the food of Your sacred mysteries, through the intercessions of Your all-pure Mother and of all the Saints. Amen.”

Excerpt From
My Orthodox Prayer Book
Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America
https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/my-orthodox-prayer-book/id540469625?mt=11
This material may be protected by copyright.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

William Gurnall, the Puritan author in his book "Christian in Complete Armour" has a section comparing sincerity and hypocrisy. It is very comprehensive and leaves one in no doubt about whether a person is a sincere believer or a hypocrite. It is possible to find that book on Google from one of the Puritan sites. I think you will be pleasantly surprised.

 

[spockrates]

Hello! So, this has been bothering me for a while now. I’m very concerned about the condition of my heart when I repent over sin. The story of Esau has stood out to me because he repented to God and apparently had no concern for his actual sin, but rather only wanted to attain his birthright again. He only wanted to avoid the consequences of sin, thinking only of himself. And I’ve been searching my own heart lately. I don’t think my problem is that I’m trying to avoid consequences. See, I have a ministry and I’ve been blessed with the ability to teach many people about God on a daily basis. I struggle with a ton of self doubt and I feel super hypocritical when I fall into sin because I teach these people how wrong it is all the time. I feel awful. To sum up, my fear is that I repent for the wrong reasons; that I repent because I want to be better for my brothers and sisters in Christ and because I want to be a strong mentor for them when I should be repenting because what I’m doing is sinful and therefore offensive to God. I don’t want to harden my heart against Him. It's a very startling thought. Any advice is appreciated.

Yeah, no! Dude! You’re not an Esau! I mean, he was selfish, repenting for selfish reasons. Sounds like you’re selfless, repenting for selfless reasons. When Jesus died for us on the cross, it was for selfless, not selfish reasons. That’s a good thing! Right?

So, that being said, maybe you’re struggling with sin because those you teach are doing the same? Maybe they’re feeling the same guilt you are? Maybe God is helping you deal with the guilt and sin so you can experience his love and forgiveness and power to change and help them do the same?

A couple of passages that help me through my own struggles with sin:

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide an escape, so that you can stand up under it.
(1 Corinthians 10:13)

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
(Philippians 4:6-7)

Keep loving! Keep praying! He’ll bring you near, and help you bring others with you.

 

[Hazelelponi]

Hello! So, this has been bothering me for a while now. I’m very concerned about the condition of my heart when I repent over sin. The story of Esau has stood out to me because he repented to God and apparently had no concern for his actual sin, but rather only wanted to attain his birthright again. He only wanted to avoid the consequences of sin, thinking only of himself. And I’ve been searching my own heart lately. I don’t think my problem is that I’m trying to avoid consequences. See, I have a ministry and I’ve been blessed with the ability to teach many people about God on a daily basis. I struggle with a ton of self doubt and I feel super hypocritical when I fall into sin because I teach these people how wrong it is all the time. I feel awful. To sum up, my fear is that I repent for the wrong reasons; that I repent because I want to be better for my brothers and sisters in Christ and because I want to be a strong mentor for them when I should be repenting because what I’m doing is sinful and therefore offensive to God. I don’t want to harden my heart against Him. It's a very startling thought. Any advice is appreciated.

I think your heart is fine. As far as avoiding consequences, from time to tim we all do that I believe - otherwise the Lord wouldn't chastise us when we sin. HEBREWS 12:6

The main hypocrisy of any teacher is being righteous out in the open where all can see, and having failings and shortcomings behind closed doors. In other words, teaching others to be something they are not.

This means, put your shortcomings out there... we all have them. If people think less of you because like everyone else you have your own struggles from time to time, then they likely think less of most people in the Bible.

We aren't greater, we struggle, we fall short from time to time. It's how we get back up again that is our victory..We strive to become like our Master, but that striving is a process of a lifetime. Our perfection will only come in the next life.

Don't teach people to sin, or that it's okay to sin.. but don't forget to teach them how to overcome sin, dont forget to teach them your no better than them and that they have a shoulder to lean on in their own struggles.. someone who's been there and KNOWS their pain.

My advice for the day. Hope it was a help to you...

 

[FutureAndAHope]

Hello! So, this has been bothering me for a while now. I’m very concerned about the condition of my heart when I repent over sin. The story of Esau has stood out to me because he repented to God and apparently had no concern for his actual sin, but rather only wanted to attain his birthright again. He only wanted to avoid the consequences of sin, thinking only of himself. And I’ve been searching my own heart lately. I don’t think my problem is that I’m trying to avoid consequences. See, I have a ministry and I’ve been blessed with the ability to teach many people about God on a daily basis. I struggle with a ton of self doubt and I feel super hypocritical when I fall into sin because I teach these people how wrong it is all the time. I feel awful. To sum up, my fear is that I repent for the wrong reasons; that I repent because I want to be better for my brothers and sisters in Christ and because I want to be a strong mentor for them when I should be repenting because what I’m doing is sinful and therefore offensive to God. I don’t want to harden my heart against Him. It's a very startling thought. Any advice is appreciated.

The bible does say: "let few of you be teachers, knowing that you will receive a stricter judgment". Now I am not saying that you should not be a teacher, you should be. But you need to fear God, not seek the praise of man. The solution in my opinion is to spend more time with Jesus in prayer and bible reading. For the bible says "Pray that you enter not into temptation, for the Spirit is willing but the flesh weak".