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Re: Christalee
JW worded that a little graphically, but, done right and with the right child, that sort of "training" really isn't harmful (done badly, or with a child who just doesn't want to be there and is afraid of the entire ordeal is another story). So long as you stick to your kid's ability level (don't start throwing your all at a kid who's just starting out), and everything is done carefully for the purpose of learning, kids can understand that a twinge of pain is part of the experience. Think of a kid playing football or something--if they are into it, they often don't mind falling down and skinning their knees, or getting smacked by a ball.
There is no way to teach joint locks without actually locking the joints. Once they figure out that they're not getting injured, and that this is all part of the experience, most kids I've seen don't seem to mind it.
Defenders of corporal punishment frequently suggest this, but the reality is that the use of corporal punishment correlates almost exclusively with the beliefs of the parents, not the nature of the child.Discipline should always be tailored to the child.
That's not always the case. My parents simply didn't know any other form of discipline than spanking. However, my brother didn't respond to spanking. They learned from his preK teacher other ways of dealing with him. They were willing to learn.Defenders of corporal punishment frequently suggest this, but the reality is that the use of corporal punishment correlates almost exclusively with the beliefs of the parents, not the nature of the child.
The fact is (and always will be) that a belief that some children need corporal punishment removes the incentive to look for better alternatives.
I spank my children very rarely. I (and hubby) use it for certain infractions to help the child understand the severity of the problem and to help make sure it's not repeated. We never spank in anger, we never give more than one swat per infraction, and we always give the child a chance to change the behavior before consequences come down. For us, it is a reasoned response to their actions, not a "last resort measure" or frustrated emotional response. Most of the time we use other methods of discipline, many of which are directly connected to the "crime". Both of our children respond to spanking, and know it's the result of action before they continue in the action.
Rachel
I have no goal of causing actual pain to my children. The goal is to give an impact (like slapping a babies wrist to keep them away from danger) to help them understand the danger in a situation.Personally, I can understand loosing your cool and lashing out a child. It's a terrible thing to do, but I can understand it. I absolutely cannot understand somebody considering their options calmly and rationally, and deciding that striking their child's erogenous zones with the goal of hurting them is the best solution to a problem.
You are talking about raising a child in the fear and admonition of the Lord, or a child who is given over to Satan.
Let that guide your actions.
You should do whatever is needed to break the child's spirit of willfulness and makes the child submit himself or herself to authority. Remember what God did to the Northern Kingdoms and to Judah in order to get Israel to submit to His authority.
You are talking about raising a child in the fear and admonition of the Lord, or a child who is given over to Satan.
Let that guide your actions.
You should do whatever is needed to break the child's spirit of willfulness and makes the child submit himself or herself to authority.
Moreover, you're all but painting "MOLEST ME" on their backs in glowing, neon letters. Experienced child molesters are very good at examining children and determining who will put up the least possible resistance, and a child who has been raised with the message "You always have to obey grown-ups because they'll hurt you if you don't" will be very easy to control.What's more evil is forcing children to do exactly what an adult says simply because that person is an adult. By spanking, what you're really doing is creating a child that is fearful of authority, and that is never a good thing.
Here: you would probably relish the methods taught by this cruel couple, Debi and Michael Pearl:You are talking about raising a child in the fear and admonition of the Lord, or a child who is given over to Satan.
Let that guide your actions.
You should do whatever is needed to break the child's spirit of willfulness and makes the child submit himself or herself to authority. Remember what God did to the Northern Kingdoms and to Judah in order to get Israel to submit to His authority.
I couldn´t disagree more. I am shocked. I don´t even know where to start.You should do whatever is needed to break the child's spirit of willfulness and makes the child submit himself or herself to authority.
If you can reach a wrist to slap it, than you can also just grab it. If your goal is to get their attention, you can do that with vocal intonation, clapping, shouting or stern looks.I have no goal of causing actual pain to my children. The goal is to give an impact (like slapping a babies wrist to keep them away from danger) to help them understand the danger in a situation.
Rachel
Even briefer synopsis: On average, and controlling for every possible factor including individual ability, the kids who received corporal punishment began to lag behind their peers in academic ability as they grew older. Minor amounts of CP resulted in less severe lagging, more CP resulted in more lagging.Objective: To test the hypothesis that use of corporal punishment (CP) by parents is associated with a subsequent decrease in academic performance. Methods: The frequency of hitting or spanking in the past week was measured for 622 children ages 5 and 6 in 1992. Academic achievement was measured by the Peabody Individual Achievement Test (PIAT) in 1992 and 1994. Multiple regression analysis controlled for 1992 PIAT score, child's level of antisocial behavior, mother's education, race and gender of child, mother's age at birth of child, father's presence in household, number of children in the household, amount of emotional support and cognitive stimulation the child received. Results: Each increase of one unit in the four unit CP scale at Time 1 was associated with an average decrease of 2.7 points in PIAT score at Time 2, net of all other variables. Conclusions. The finding that CP adversely affects academic achievement is important for children and for the nation because academic achievement is a major determinant of economic and health status and because CP is amenable to change through public health and parent education.
If we're going to get into the physics of implements, a strap is particularly dangerous because it is so flexible. Few people are true experts at swinging flimsy objects. If you overshoot your target slightly, the strap can wrap around the child's hip. As it wraps, the speed builds around the turn which can leave a severe welt or bruise (imagine, say, Indiana Jones's bullwhip flying slowly through the air, and then hitting something and wrapping around it really fast).As for using a strap to hit your child, anywhere on the body, it's just sad. A strap can be hit much harder than a hand, and worse than that, it can be hit very hard without really realizing it.
If we're going to get into the physics of implements, a strap is particularly dangerous because it is so flexible. Few people are true experts at swinging flimsy objects. If you overshoot your target slightly, the strap can wrap around the child's hip. As it wraps, the speed builds around the turn which can leave a severe welt or bruise (imagine, say, Indiana Jones's bullwhip flying slowly through the air, and then hitting something and wrapping around it really fast).
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