Clinginess

Bumble Bee

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I’m struggling to keep up with my children. The 3 year old is pushing me away because he is jealous of baby getting toys and attention. He is used to being able to have everything to himself, but now the baby is old enough and mobile enough to want to play toys. The 3 year old now complains when I come home, and throws fits when it is time to go home. He thinks he needs to be with his grandparents, not with me. He keeps saying he is their little boy not mine. I know he doesn’t mean it but it is wearying. Baby is teething and weaning and wants mommy all the time. No one else will do.
 

NerdGirl

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Is Dad not available to help? Sorry, I don't know your home situation :)

I don't see any harm in letting him spend more time with his grandparents, either. If he feels more secure and happy there right now, because his baby brother/sister needs you so much, let him hang out there! I assume they're good, solid, loving grandparents. It would only be good for him, and do no harm. I'm absolutely sure that a point will come where he realizes he misses Mommy and wants to be back at home more :)
 
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mina

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He sounds frustrated at not getting one on one time with you. Young children have a REAL hard time with change of any kind. Set aside some special time just with him a few times a week and make a big deal out of it so he feels secure and excited. Your husband or grandparents will have to step in and help with the baby so that can happen. Even if the baby is fussy at not having you it is important to make the other child feel like he is special to you as well.
 
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Mayflower1

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I’m struggling to keep up with my children. The 3 year old is pushing me away because he is jealous of baby getting toys and attention. He is used to being able to have everything to himself, but now the baby is old enough and mobile enough to want to play toys. The 3 year old now complains when I come home, and throws fits when it is time to go home. He thinks he needs to be with his grandparents, not with me. He keeps saying he is their little boy not mine. I know he doesn’t mean it but it is wearying. Baby is teething and weaning and wants mommy all the time. No one else will do.
My daughter is 3 and has been acting up a lot lately. My son is 6 months old. But she is overly clingy to me. And just cries when I have to give baby brother a turn. We don't have grandparents or many outside us though. My hubby works thirds and is asleep, so it is all me during the day, except school time.

Id say run with it. Lol. If your parents are willing and he wants some extra time with them, I envy you. Lol. It is just a stage. Prayers for you momma for wisdom and peace. This too shall pass.
 
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Monksailor

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We had grandparents but were unable to leave them alone with them, him, EVER for ANY reason. Some, definitely cannot be used for various reasons. We also had no one else to help out except a babysitter and ours was a single-income, blue-collar home so not any extra $ around. When I was able I would always help out but that wasn't much; I worked two to three jobs (one=55-60 hrs/wk) throughout my career(s.) And when I was home there was always cars and/or house to repair and maintain along with yard and garden. The 8 yrs which I had a landscaping business on the side was REALLY rough. My wife did not have much of that to deal with as she was having many miscarriages and told my a gynecologist that she would not be able to carry a baby very long ever in her womb but we had two healthy miracle babies later in our marriage, but they were 9 yrs apart so our son was mature enough to quickly understand and deal with the extra needed attention our daughter got and even help out, at times.
 
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Aussie Pete

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I’m struggling to keep up with my children. The 3 year old is pushing me away because he is jealous of baby getting toys and attention. He is used to being able to have everything to himself, but now the baby is old enough and mobile enough to want to play toys. The 3 year old now complains when I come home, and throws fits when it is time to go home. He thinks he needs to be with his grandparents, not with me. He keeps saying he is their little boy not mine. I know he doesn’t mean it but it is wearying. Baby is teething and weaning and wants mommy all the time. No one else will do.
Your 3 year old is being typical, a perfect example of why I believe the doctrine of original sin. Ask God for wisdom. James Dobson wrote some useful books on raising children. You are not alone. My daughter has 4 kids. They've been home for months because of COVID. Her eldest is 12 and the youngest 18 months. The 4 year old is a nightmare. I know how I'd deal with it but corporal punishment is frowned on these days.
 
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Bumble Bee

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Daddy is around (we are married) but he works 11:30-8:30 and only has Sunday and Wednesday off each week. Baby was a preemie and had two rounds in the ICU. The 3 year old sees his grandparents every day while daddy and I work. The dynamic is about to change a bit this week because baby has a fever and can’t go to daycare. I have been taking baby with me so I can breastfeed but that isn’t possible this week. 3 year old is going to have to share the one on one time. We do a family movie night with just him and me on Friday nights after baby goes to bed, but since Christmas and New Years were on fridays this year and he was sick earlier in the month it has been pushed aside for a while. I want to start taking him shopping with me and leaving baby with grandma on Saturdays when possible.
 
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Mayflower1

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Daddy is around (we are married) but he works 11:30-8:30 and only has Sunday and Wednesday off each week. Baby was a preemie and had two rounds in the ICU. The 3 year old sees his grandparents every day while daddy and I work. The dynamic is about to change a bit this week because baby has a fever and can’t go to daycare. I have been taking baby with me so I can breastfeed but that isn’t possible this week. 3 year old is going to have to share the one on one time. We do a family movie night with just him and me on Friday nights after baby goes to bed, but since Christmas and New Years were on fridays this year and he was sick earlier in the month it has been pushed aside for a while. I want to start taking him shopping with me and leaving baby with grandma on Saturdays when possible.

Doing the best you can momma. :)
 
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Tolworth John

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I’m struggling to keep up with my children

This is perfectly normal behaviour. He is struggling with his emotions, including jealousy.
You have to be consistent in how you treat them both and talk to them.

They will see your consitency as an indication of your love for them.

It is wearing, do talk to your husband so you are both doing the same things and are working together.

The adventure of having children is that it constantly changes looking back very, very fast, but is unchanging while one is in it.
 
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Bumble Bee

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He has turned around the last couple of weeks. I have been taking him grocery shopping with me by himself and keeping him up a little past baby to do something extra with mommy. Baby also isn’t nursing anymore- a mutual weaning, it’s great!- so I am not needing to give so much exclusively to baby. Plus my work hours changed so I am not having to stay as late at work anymore!
 
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Mayflower1

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He has turned around the last couple of weeks. I have been taking him grocery shopping with me by himself and keeping him up a little past baby to do something extra with mommy. Baby also isn’t nursing anymore- a mutual weaning, it’s great!- so I am not needing to give so much exclusively to baby. Plus my work hours changed so I am not having to stay as late at work anymore!

Praise God!
 
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